Authors: Samantha Leal
As she stared into his eyes, she realized she wanted him more than she had ever wanted anyone. That scared her, but even if she had wanted to run away, there was no way he was going to let her. Lynx was so strong, so powerful, so dominant… He pinned her there against the bar, and the scent of his cologne mixed in with the booze and smoke was the biggest turn-on Tammy had ever known. He gripped her chin and moved his mouth closer to hers so their lips grazed… Was this actually even happening? Was she dreaming?
“I suppose I do…” she whispered, desperate for his lips to lock with hers.
He seemed to hold her there for an eternity, teasing her with the promise of a kiss she so badly wanted but was too afraid to ask for or take for herself. A wicked smile danced across his lips and his blue eyes pierced into her own. She felt her knees trembling and she gripped onto the bar top, redirecting her energy out through her fingertips so she wouldn’t hurl herself at him.
“No Lexi tonight?” the girl on the bar called to Lynx from behind them.
He let go of Tammy’s chin and moved away from her slightly. Her heart instantly hit the floor, and she turned to glare at the girl behind the bar.
“Hey, Sasha,” he said. “No, King had to take her somewhere.”
The girl nodded and returned Tammy’s evil gaze. For someone timid and nice, she sure was feeling angry and protective over having that moment with Lynx taken away from her.
“Hey,” he said, grasping hold of two glasses of whiskey from the side of the bar. “How about we go and sit down?”
Her heart was pounding, and she suddenly had the overwhelming urge to be as far away from Sasha as possible.
“Sure,” she smiled.
She followed him through the crowd and to a table in a quieter corner of the room. Tammy waited for him to place the drinks down and let him pull the chair out for her. She sat down and he sat opposite her, but he pulled her chair close to his so their legs were almost entwined.
“So,” he said before taking a sip of his drink, “tell me something about you.”
Tammy gazed off into the distance. It was so loud in there, she was finding it hard to gather her thoughts, and she had no idea what she could tell him that wouldn’t instantly bore him and make him wish he were speaking with someone a lot more exciting.
“There’s not much to tell…” she admitted.
“I don’t believe that for a second.” He slipped an arm around the back of her chair so they were even closer.
Her mind raced. What could she say?
“Honestly, I live a very quiet life,” she smiled sheepishly.
“But you’re friends with wild Lexi?” He raised an eyebrow as if he was mocking her.
“Well, they say opposites attract,” she shrugged.
“Don’t they just…” Lynx grinned.
She felt herself blushing again and she combed a strand of hair behind her ear with her fingertips.
“Well, okay, I work as a waitress…” she began. “My dad owns the hardware store in town. My mom died when I was little so he and my brother raised me. I’ve lived here my whole life… Not much more to say.” She took a sip of the whiskey and nearly gagged at how strong it was.
When she looked up and met Lynx’s eyes, she saw something in them that she could only recognize as sadness. She waited for him to speak, but he didn’t. She was sure that she could see tears clouding his vision, but he blinked them away.
“Are you okay?” she asked as she reached out and rested her hand on his knee.
He blinked again and smiled. “Sure,” he said quickly, and then he looked over his shoulder and into the crowd.
She didn’t know what she had said or done, but something had changed between them.
“I’m sorry,” she said with confusion. “Did I say something?”
Lynx smiled and got to his feet.
“Listen,” he said, “I better get back to the office…” He scratched the back of his neck, and Tammy felt fire roll through her. He was brushing her off.
She got to her feet too, and they stood face to face for a moment before she turned on her heel and began to shove her way through the crowd.
She felt so stupid… So goddamn stupid… What was she thinking? She was nothing like those people! Of course a man like Lynx wasn’t going to be interested in a boring little good girl like her!
She pushed her way between some people and found herself being shoved back in return. The tears were welling up behind her own eyes, and her vision was blurry.
She had to get out of there.
The booze had made her dizzy, and after she finally reached the door and pushed it open, she gasped and breathed in a lung full of cool, outside air to try and revive herself.
She felt as if the whole world was looking at her, and she staggered down the steps in a haze of embarrassment and fear as she jogged quietly between the swarm of bikes, bikers, and cops and made her way quickly to her car.
She fumbled for her keys, and when she found them, she jabbed them into the lock and opened it as fast as she could. When she climbed inside and locked the doors behind her, she sighed and realized she was shaking.
“What the hell just happened?” she said as she looked at her hands. They trembled in front of her, and she knew she was going to have to wait a moment to compose herself. Her head was spinning, and she had no idea what she had done wrong or why she had freaked out so much when Lynx seemed to be giving her the brush off… All she knew was that she was so embarrassed and she would never have anything to do with the bikers ever again.
She ran her hands through her hair and exhaled loudly before she slipped the keys into the ignition and started the engine. She pulled away from the curb and began to turn around in a mess of bikes and cops as they gathered in the road and seemed to be building towards some kind of confrontation. Tammy started to panic as she fought with the steering wheel and desperately tried to get the hell out of there.
As she finally managed to turn the car around and put it into drive, she took a quick look over her shoulder and to her surprise, she saw Lynx. He was standing on the steps of the bar, watching her pull away.
She turned and ignored him as she drove off into the night. Her heart was still thumping and her mind was racing with confusion and embarrassment. She had thought that he had been interested in her… Everything he had done and said pointed to that, but then it was like a switch flipped and he couldn’t wait to get away.
She reached for the radio and turned it on just to take her mind off it all. She felt so mortified. How could she have been so stupid?
As she drove on and the quieter, darker side of town gave way to the roads she recognized well, her heart rate seemed to slow, and she felt much more calm. It wasn’t late, and she knew there were places she could go, but all she wanted was go home, crawl into bed, and forget this entire night had ever happened.
As she pulled into her driveway, she took her phone out of her purse and sent Lexi a quick text:
I’m home so if you need to stay here, I’ll leave a spare key in the plant out front. I hope you’re okay, I’m thinking of you and hope you got your answers. X
She doused a cotton swab with make-up remover and dragged it across her eyelids. She had never worn so much black eyeliner in her life, and she felt silly now for trying to be someone she clearly wasn’t. She pulled off the black tank top and tight jeans and left them in a pile on the floor. She could try and be like Lexi all she wanted, but the simple fact remained… She wasn’t her. She was Tammy, a simpler, meeker girl from a solid family that didn’t have secrets and lies at their core. A man like Lynx was exciting; he was different and a good distraction, but there was no way he was honestly going to be interested in someone like her… someone so reserved compared to all of the sin and wild ways he was accustomed to.
After pulling on her PJs, she climbed into bed and wrapped herself up in her warm blankets, and she suddenly felt better. There was no need for her to feel embarrassed… It wasn’t as if she had tried to kiss him and been turned down. He flirted with her, he offered to buy her a drink, and they just sat and talked for half an hour… Really, she was worrying over nothing. It wasn’t her fault if he’d been bored by her. At least she was being herself.
She leaned over and turned off the light and lay down on her pillow. Even though the night air was still heavy and dense, she felt a coldness inside that she couldn’t shake.
Maybe it’s the rejection,
she thought to herself before she pulled the covers up around her face again and closed her eyes.
As she drifted off to sleep, her mind raced and she couldn’t shake the feeling of Lynx’s deep blue eyes on her. Even though she wanted to forget him, her night was filled with dreams consisting only of him…
When she woke up the following morning and looked at the sun bursting in through her window, she sat upright and stretched before the memories of the previous night came crashing back. Her head swirled with possibilities and of what she had done wrong… Even though she kept telling herself that she had nothing to be worried about, she couldn’t help but feel stupid for thinking that something was going to happen with Lynx.
She got out of bed and went down to her kitchen. The apartment was empty so she knew that Lexi must have stayed the night with King.
Tammy opened her window and started to boil some water to make a big cup of tea. As she waited for it, she slipped some bread into the toaster and sat down at the table, hugging one of her knees close to her chest. It had been a long time since she had a day to herself, and although she would have loved to have spent it hiding away, she felt as if she really should head on over to the hardware store and see her dad.
The kettle boiled and the toast popped up at exactly the same time, and it made her jump. She spread strawberry jam on the toast and clutched the hot tea, allowing its rich aroma to wake her up even more. For all that had happened the night before, she was feeling positive. The attention had awakened something in her, and she felt sexy and alive for the first time in as long as she could remember.
After breakfast, she showered and did her hair, straightening it with a flat iron and pinning up half away from her face. She applied a light lipstick and mascara, and she looked fresh faced and much more like her old self. When she opened her closet door, she flicked through the hangers, debating what to wear… It was so hot, she knew she was going to be limited, so she settled on some cut-off shorts and a white t-shirt and sneakers.
It was almost eleven by the time she left her apartment, but she felt spritely and alive and decided to walk instead of drive for a change. She knew she didn’t hit the gym as often as she should, and having a car meant she rarely exercised at all. But she had a newfound interest in making sure she took care of herself, and she knew that the walk and fresh air would do her good. As she rounded the corner and approached Main Street, she smiled at all the familiar faces and waved to the shopkeepers. They all knew her, and she knew them. It really was a pleasant place to live. It seemed so bizarre to her even then that there were two completely different sides to Slate Springs. If a person had just been passing through, they would never even imagine that outlaws ran the other side of town and that The Bleeding Bullet was a haven for drug deals and who even knew what else.
Just thinking about the bar sent a chill through her. She pushed it to the back of her mind and focused on where she needed to be. She smiled and waved to Mrs. Smith, an old lady whose daughter ran the florist’s shop on the corner. She stopped and gave her a hug.
“Good morning, dear,” Mrs. Smith smiled.
“Good morning! How are you?” Tammy beamed.
The little old lady was sitting outside of her daughter’s store with her crossword and a cup of green tea in a china cup. Tammy had always found her so adorable and loved the way she always had a different tea set with her. Mrs. Smith was one of the fixtures of Slate Springs that would go down in legend; she was such a regular face, there wasn’t anyone who didn’t know her.
“I’m good, thank you, my darling,” she purred. “And you are looking as radiant as ever… Found yourself a husband yet?” she pried with wide eyes.
“Not yet,” Tammy shrugged.
“Let me fix you up with my grandson,” Mrs. Smith said excitedly. “He’s nineteen and wants to go to law school!”
Tammy smiled and patted Mrs. Smith’s bony shoulder.
“Thank you,” she laughed sweetly, “but I think he may be a bit young for me.”
She hugged the old lady goodbye and carried on down the street. It was days like this when she wanted to kick herself for having her fantasies of escape. She loved the town, and she knew she would never leave. She just wished she had a potential suitor to be set up with… And not someone who was only nineteen!
As she approached her dad’s hardware store, she felt a familiar warm fuzz in her belly. She really needed a hug from the only two men in her life never to disappoint her.
“Hey, Tam,” Dean smiled as she opened the door and the bell tinged high above her head. Her brother was handsome in an unconventional way, and he had never had any problems with the ladies. Dean had always been a bit of a stud around Slate Springs, and he was somewhat overprotective of his little sister… Sometimes she wondered if that was part of the problem of why she never got asked out.
“Hey,” she smiled as she leant over the counter and hugged him. “Where’s Dad?”
“Out back,” Dean said. “Go tell him I need to step out for ten minutes, and he should be out here. Unless you want to fill in for me?” he wiggled his eyebrows.
“No chance,” she laughed. “I do enough work around here.”
“Yeah, right,” Dean gibed.
Tammy made her way out to the back of the store and into the stock room. She found her dad on his hands and knees and in the middle of an inventory.
“Hello, bug,” he smiled as she knelt down and hugged him. She held onto him a little longer that morning. The times when she felt a bit sorry for herself was when she missed her mother the most.
“Hey, Dad,” she said into his neck.
“And what do I owe the pleasure today?” He slapped his hands together to get rid of the dust from a stack of forgotten boxes.
“Nothing, I just wanted to see you both,” she smiled. “Feels like forever.”
“I think it was only Monday,” her dad laughed. “But I’m not complaining.”
“How’s it been this week?” she asked, gesturing to the store.
“Slow,” her dad said seriously. “I’m just not so sure how long we’re going to be able to keep this place afloat.”
“Don’t say that, Dad.” Tammy felt her heart sink. “We’re always okay…”
“Mmm-hm,” he murmured uncertainly. “I’m not so convinced this time.”
The business had experienced problems in the past, and although she had been aware of them, Tammy usually stayed out of it. Her father was a proud man, and he didn’t like to admit when things weren’t going well. Tammy knew that something really must have been up for him to mention it, and it made her even more bummed out.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Tammy asked cautiously.
“No,” he smiled as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “I’m not spending the only real day I get with my daughter being negative… Come on, tell me about your week.”
Tammy’s mind instantly jumped to Lynx and the fact that she had been inside The Bleeding Bullet. But she knew she could never tell her father or Dean. It would be asking for trouble.
“Oh, I haven’t been up to anything much,” she said lightly. “Just the usual… Work, chilling out, sleeping.”
“Best way to be,” her dad winked and picked up his clipboard.
“Dean needs to head out,” she said. “Want me to cover out front so you can work back here?”
Her dad looked around at the mountain of stock on the floor and the boxes around his feet that seemed to be bursting at the seams.
“If you wouldn’t mind?” he asked.
“Of course not!” She hugged him again and made her way towards the door. “That’s what I’m here for!” She smiled brightly and walked back down the hallway to the front of the store.
Her heart started to weigh heavy in her chest, and when she saw Dean, she held out her hands and shook her head.
“Why didn’t you tell me things were bad here?” she whispered.
“Oh, you know Dad,” Dean said dismissively. “He never wants to worry you.”
“But maybe I could help… I mean, think of all of the people that come through the diner each day. I could be advertising somehow. I don’t know.”
“Oh yeah, because how many folks passing through really need anything we have here?” he snorted. “It’s regular customers and people from town… That’s all we can hope for and all we’ve ever had.”
She could sense the sadness in him too, and she knew why; whereas the town would always support each other and the businesses there, sometimes it just wasn’t enough. She doubted her dad had raised prices for over a decade, and with the cost of living rising each year, they were going to start struggling eventually.
“You go and do what you need to,” Tammy said with a sigh. “I can watch over things here.”
Dean slapped his sister affectionately on the shoulder and made his way to the front door.
“I owe you one!” he called back to her. “Want anything from the store?”
Tammy shook her head and watched him go. After losing her mother, she knew whatever adversity was thrown at her family, they could handle it… Maybe her dad would just have to break out of his comfort zone a bit and admit he needed to move along with the times.
As she sat and toyed with the cash register, she began to daydream about hiring a designer and getting the store set up online so they could reach people throughout the country. There had to be ways they could revive the business and keep themselves afloat. Tammy was positive that they would be fine. She was just going to have to convince her dad to start thinking outside the box a little.
Dean was back before she knew it, and they sat and chatted for half an hour before she headed back to see her dad and then decided it was time for her to head home.
“Catch you later, boys.” She smiled and blew them a kiss.
As she started on her slow walk home, she stopped and bought herself a magazine and an iced coffee. She wondered how Lexi was and if she would be hearing from her. She looked into her purse and checked her cell phone to make sure she hadn’t missed any calls, but all that was waiting for her was a text from Jamie asking her to come through on a favor…
Jamie: Seeing as you bailed on me yesterday, please can you cover my shift tonight? X
Tammy groaned but knew she owed her. She just ran out of there without any warning, and she didn’t have any other plans. She reluctantly placed the magazine into her purse and typed a hasty reply:
Sure, I’ll be at the diner for 6pm x
“So much for my lazy day,” she said aloud as she left Main Street and continued to the outskirts of town.
***
As the evening came around, she found herself glad to be heading out and having something to do. Normally nights in alone were something that she relished, but after being so brutally dismissed by Lynx, she wanted to keep busy and not have time to think about the fact that she was twenty-five and unmarried.
She drove to the diner in silence, and when she got there and saw that she was the only waitress working, she was relieved. There was only one chef in the kitchen, and she could tell it was going to be more than quiet. The owner Joe was sitting behind the counter, and he looked surprised when Tammy walked through the door.
“Hey, you,” he smiled. “I thought I had Jamie on tonight?”
“We swapped shifts,” she said. “She had something she needed to do...”
“Ha, when doesn’t she?” he joked with a shake of his head.
“Doesn’t bother me,” Tammy admitted. “I’m glad to be out of the house tonight. Nice just to have something to do and a place to go, you know?”
Joe looked at her sympathetically, and she instantly wished that she hadn’t said it. It was like she was looking for a pity party.
“Well,” he smiled, “I’ll leave you to it. We’ve had the quietest day on record, so I can only imagine tonight will be like a graveyard… But if the unthinkable happens and you’re inundated, just give me a call and I’ll be back to help out.”
“Thanks, Joe,” she smiled as she started to refill some napkins. “Have a good night.”
He waved at her as he left, and she watched him walk out to his truck.
“Looks like it’s just you and me, Mick!” she called back to the chef, but he was too busy reading a book while stirring a pot of chili on the stove. He looked up at her and grunted with a nod and then went back to his copy of
War and Peace
.
Maybe she would have been better off at home… There wasn’t a single person in the place, and she was already bored as hell. Without thinking she made her way to the jukebox and chose Madonna. As “Like a Prayer” blasted out, she decided to dance as she cleaned the tables. If she didn’t have Jamie to keep her busy or any customers to serve, she may as well have a little bit of fun…