A Broken Beautiful Beginning
Read A Broken Beautiful Beginning Online
Authors: Sophie Summers
A Broken Beautiful Beginning…
Broken Beautiful #1.5
by
Sophie
Summers
Copyright 2014 Sophie Summers
All Rights Reserved
License Notes
This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
This is a work of fiction. Names, Characters, places, brands, media and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication and use of these trademarks are not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners. Any resemblance to actual events, locations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Work by Sophie Summers
FairyTale’s Don’t Exist Series
Alexia Eden (#1)
Angel Blackwood (#2 – To be released 2014)
Broken Beautiful Series
This Broken Beautiful Thing (#1)
This Broken Beautiful Beginning (#1.5)
This Broken Beautiful Beast (#2 – To be released 2014/2015)
This one is for you…
I dedicate this Novella to all my readers and fans out there.
I originally planned on incorporating Harley’s story in the second book with another character from the series but due to so many requests I decided to write this Novella with all of you in mind. I’d like to thank each and every one of you whom sent in emails and messages with such kind words of support. You will never know how much I appreciate it.
Special Thanks…
I’d also like to thank
my beta readers! You Girls are AWESOME! Emma, Tara and Sarah – I don’t know what I would have done without you ladies. I love our awesome group discussions and chats. Thanks for all your hard work and for always speaking your mind. Another special thanks goes to Najla Qamber from Najla Qamber Designs! You are a star! I love the work you did for me and I can’t wait to work with you in the future.
I hope you all enjoy this book as much as I enjoyed writing it.
I love you all!
Sophie xo
Chapters
RAVEN POV
I really fucked up this time. What the hell was I thinking? Of course she wouldn't come with me willingly.
I fucking slapped her
.
I shouldn't have left her alone that night, what I
should
have done was gotten down on my fucking knees and begged her to forgive my sorry ass but instead… I ran away like the bastard I am. Never in my life have I slapped a woman. The way she looked at me full of terror, broke my fucking heart. Seeing her lying on the floor, I knew I had to make it right; she needs to know how much I love her. Harley’s the only one that has ever been able to see passed the monster inside me.
The alcohol in my system has already worn off; as soon as I watched Harley fall to the ground I was stone cold sober. The reality of what the fuck I was doing came at me full force, her mother’s screams and Harley’s whimpers filled my eardrums and I needed to get away. I had to make sure my girl was okay though, I had to get her to listen to me one last time because I knew I had now fucked shit up entirely. I left her mother yelling and cursing, tied to a chair and picked up Harley’s small body. I don’t think she realized it but she held onto me so tight while I carried her to my car, she even nuzzled into my neck while I lowered her into the trunk. I savoured her in that moment and held her close to me knowing it would be the last time she would ever hold me like that… even if she was unknowingly doing it.
I reach for the side of the door
, moving my fingers around till they find the bottle of pills I’ve stored there. I grab two and swallow them dry, no liquid needed. The familiar powdery taste lingers but I don’t have anything except a flask of Jack to drown out the bitterness, from experience I know not to mix my meds and alcohol. I’m already fucked up as it is and adding my old friend Jack to the mix will only do more harm.
Thing is…
I suffer from severe bipolar and if that wasn't enough for me to handle on my own, I was blessed with anger management issues too. I swear I must have fucked up something bad in my past life.
The
pills mellow me out but being mellow doesn’t help when I need to work out all the restlessness and rage surging through me. So I skip the pills and beat the shit out of stuff, either in the gym or at work since it's my job to do so. If I don’t beat out the pent-up anger or energy I usually end up fucking anything that moves.
Finding someone to work all the energy I’ve stored up is a hell of a lot easier than doing it
myself. This is where the club whores come in handy, they love to be used and if half an hour with me makes them feel special or some shit, who am I to stop them? I don’t care for faces; I don’t see them when I’m fucking. I’m not interested in their faces or the words that come out of their mouth.
With the risk of sounding like a pussy
, I did, during my darkest lonely hours enjoy the feeling of a woman’s soft body against mine and all the affection that flows through her movements when we’re touching. Maybe I’m fucked up due to the neglect I suffered as a child but I do want to feel loved every once in a while even if it’s with a nameless face.
Yea
h I know… I sound like a horny prick and truth be told…
I am one.
Hardest few months of my life was
being with Harley during the end of her pregnancy. She looked so fucking beautiful pregnant and it’s so true what they say about pregnant women glowing, man… did Harley shine so damn bright. I could barely keep my hands off her, I knew she wanted it just as bad as I did but I was so afraid I’d hurt the baby if I did ever take her. I was like an animal needing to own her and I knew the first time I was inside her it would be hard and rough.
My monster
wanted to come out and play, especially after being celibate all those months. The only way to find release was jacking-off in the shower… but the minute I would see her I’d be rock hard again.
I only cheated on Harley once
, damn… I don’t even think it counted though; I wasn’t sober enough to know what was actually happening at the time. Rachelle was talking shit when she told Harley that we were secretly seeing each other the entire time I was with Harley.
I was so
fucking stressed out about her and the baby, I was horny as hell too but I couldn’t imagine touching another woman, I couldn’t bear to betray Harley again. We were together now… we were exclusive.
Fuck… never thought I’d see the day those words came out of my mouth…and I’d actually mean them.
My head was in a bad place, I kept thinking about the baby growing inside her and whether I’d be a good enough Daddy for the little one, what if I was like my mother? What if I scared that little girl during one of my episodes?
I
had been having trouble sleeping the last few nights and needed something to help with the unease I was feeling. My medicine made me feel weak and working out my irritation at the gym against a boxing bag had stopped working long ago. It only made me more aggressive and irritable.
Grimm was giving me jobs left
, right and centre, and it worked in the beginning but I took things too far and nearly killed a guy when I was only supposed to break a leg. Luckily Hunter had stepped in for me. I knew that must have been hard for him to take over my responsibilities when it comes to our job, due to all his issues but he still helped me out without one complaint.
I usually
stuck with alcohol, for obvious reasons, drugs were never my thing but that night I scored some coke, I was desperate for anything that would take my mind off the worries I had of being a father to that little girl.
Grimm
isn’t keen on his boys doing drugs but when he caught me snorting that shit in the back workshop he gave me an understanding nod. He undoubtedly knew how stressed out I had been those last few weeks and I suppose that’s why he gave me a little leeway that night, but as the coke started to take effect on my body I knew I shouldn’t have done it.
Memories of how my mother
would act when she was high played out. I took a cold shower and a sedative then headed to bed, I hoped the sleep would sober my senses.
I was lying in bed zoned out when Rachelle came in.
She started undressing then climbed on top of me all seductively and shit, there was nothing sexy about it though. I was so out of it I don’t even think I was hard enough for her, but the bitch managed to climb on top of me, put a condom on my limp dick and before I knew it she was riding me… hard.
I squeezed my eyes shut welcoming the darkness for the first time
, praying the fear would sober me up enough to push her away. My horniness got the better of me though and I started picturing Harley on top of me and I felt myself getting harder within her warmth. When she started kissing on my neck and the scent I smelled wasn’t Harley’s, I flung that bitch so far she landed on the floor next to the bed with a hard thud.
I remember her leaving the room naked before I turned around and fell asleep. I really had no idea if I even slep
t with Rachelle when I woke up the next morning, it was all one big fucking nightmare but when I heard Harley’s screaming outside my bedroom door I knew without a doubt that no matter what I had to say, she wouldn’t believe me. Especially after what I had put her through since she got here.
I thought Harley would be the only girl I would love but I was so wrong.
The first time I held Willow’s tiny body in my arms I fell in love all over again. I also knew that I would give that little girl everything she ever wished for but could never be the father that she deserved. I wanted the best for her and sticking around wasn’t it.
I kept my distance from Harley and Willow from then
on. I kept busy with work… and woman. Harley made sure to keep away from the club and I made sure she never saw me with one of the whores when I was down. I visited Willow as often as I could and sometimes while Harley made us dinner and I was playing on the floor with Willow, I would picture the three of us being a family.
Harley was always reserved when it came to me
, but there were times when I would sneak into her room at night and she’d allow me to cuddle her. I figured the only reason she allowed it was because she was feeling lonely and needed someone to comfort her, and if that was how she was going to use me I didn’t mind it at all. The hurt I would feel when she would hold me tight and whisper Caleb’s name during the night was unlike any pain I have ever felt, but I held her tight knowing it wasn’t me she was holding in her dreams and it wasn’t my name she was calling out for.
I knew what the problem was from the beginning things started to unravel for me. Taking the medicine makes me feel drained and tired. Skipping the meds allows the emotions to take over my mind and body, feeling as if I’m being buried alive. Which only leads into me doing stupid shit like this, shit to cement the fact that I am indeed.... alive.
Only Hunter and my father know about my problem, the club is aware of my anger issues and for obvious reasons they keep a couple
tranquilisers on hand just in case.
Before I met Harley everything was black and miserable, she was a little ray of sunlight through my dim dark world. Cliché as fuck but that’s exactly how it is.
Did I mention I’m afraid of the dark? Pathetic I know… but ever since that night I stumbled across mom’s body in the dark hallway of that apartment, I've
not been a fan of the dark. No one knows this about me and I intend to keep it that way. Harley is aware of my insomnia but sleeping was never the problem, closing my eyes only to see darkness was. Of course I don’t mind being alone in the dark with someone.
Just not alone…
surrounded by the darkness.
My selfish bitch of a mother killed my little sister because she couldn't contain her habit. All she had to do was quit the crack for nine months. Nine fucking months and she couldn't do it. Mom only had a few weeks left of the pregnancy when she overdosed. I watched the paramedic take her with her swollen belly away on that stretcher and never saw her again. Dad was hardly around, always at the club with Grimm but when he came home that night, he refused to talk about what happened and truth be told I didn’t want to hear how my mother killed the baby growing inside of her. It fucking broke me and ruined me for all future woman…including Harley. Of course I can't blame her for all my issues, I know what lurks inside and I know just how fucked up I really am, can't blame anyone for that shit.
In my head I knew from the moment I saw those pretty blue eyes I wasn’t good enough for her, I’ll never be good enough for her, so I did what I usually do when things felt too good… fucked shit up and ruined any chance of her loving me by making sure she saw the beast I really am... and boy did I show her.
Then beautiful Willow entered this world.
Sweet baby Willow; n
ever seen anything as pure and innocent, not since her momma. I love that little girl like I would my own and when I saw her in her father’s arms on that beach, jealously reared its ugly head.
So here I am, driving my car out of this shitty little town with Harley in my trunk.
The yelling and thumping from the trunk ceases by the time I reach my destination. Only Hunter knows about this house, my house.
After the first six months of working for Grimm and earning more money than I
ever could imagine, I bought my first house on the outskirts of town. I've been working on it for a while and whenever I’m on this side of town for business, I always stay here.
Driving down the long driveway I pass the t
wo cottages that sit at the entrance of my property. The cottages share a wall, they’re old, shabby and need a lot of work done, no one lives in them and I’m not sure anyone would want to.
I do plan on renting them out eventually but I can’t be hassled with all that right now. The property is
quiet and secluded, surrounded by open land and around the perimeter, apart from the front, a tall rise wall fences my property in.
The area was once filled with farmhouses just like
my own but as the town expanded, there was a shortage of space so many of the other farm owners sold their land and residential buildings were built in their place.
This is the only farmhouse that wasn’t demolished.
There are a couple houses around my property but I hardly see or interact with any of the home owners since my house is so secluded besides, everyone tends to keep to themselves.
This would have been the per
fect home to start a family but that thought only entered my mind when I met and fell in love with Harley; I bought the house for me but renovated it with Harley and Willow in mind.
B
ut yeah…shit happens and now I’m left in this huge fucking house alone. I almost let it slip a couple times when I was with her but I didn’t want to ruin the surprise, the house was being renovated and I needed it to be perfect for them. I wanted to show her how serious I was about having her and Willow in my life, I was done playing games and I wanted her to know it but before I got that chance Caleb showed up.
Driving down the long gravel road, I park my car right in front of the porch. The house is entirely lit up, all the lights have timers on and night censors making sure it’s never completely dark.