A Broken Beautiful Beginning (6 page)

“What?” I say flatly.

“Dude, don’t think you said one word to Harley after Avery showed up. You even warned me off the chick as if she was your girl. I didn’t think of it before, but when Harley pointed it out it all fell in place. What the fuck man?” Brent shouts shoving me away from him, I don’t retaliate. I’ve got too much shit going on in my head. I’m trying to replay the events of tonight.

“Fuck…” I rub my face with my hands and squeeze my eyes shut. “Fuck!”

“Fuck… is right man.” Jesse mumbles.

“It’s not like that at all man, I don’t want Avery. I love Harley and she’s the only woman I want. Jesus, why am I so fucking stupid?” I run my hands through my hair again pacing the sidewalk.

“
We need to find her.” I search my pockets for my phone and come up empty.

“Shit, I must have
left my phone at home.” I curse.

Brent hands me his and I start calling Harley but she doesn’t pick up. I tell Jesse to try but she doesn’t answer his calls either.

I start to panic, “Come on. I’ve got to find her.”

HARLEY POV

I wake up when I feel warmth covering my face
as I’m being lifted up. I open my eyes to the smell of Caleb. Before tonight I would’ve welcomed it but now I need space to breath. I push at his chest and before he gets a chance to fully lift me off the bed, I push him away and stand up.

“I’ve been so worried about you.” He says sounding exhausted. I have the bitter taste of wine in my mouth. I need to brush my teeth.

“I’m pretty sure you weren’t
that
worried… considering you’re only getting home now.” I say nonchalantly as I make my way to the en-suite bathroom in our room.

He frowns and follow
s me. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Exactly what it sounds like
Caleb.” I say between brushing my teeth and washing it out with water. I throw my toothbrush in its cradle and head back to sleep in one of the spare rooms. I don’t make it far before he slams the bedroom door shut and locks it.

He turns to me.

“Why would you just leave like that Harley? I was so scared!” his voice sounds so concerned that I almost feel guilty for making him worry about me. “The boys and I got into a fight. They told me why you left; I was in such a fucking panic. We started looking for you, you weren’t in the club so we went to the park by the campus library and you weren’t there either. I started to get scared, thought someone might have taken you. God Harley, don’t ever scare me like that again.” He pulls me into his chest but I shove him away. I need some distance so I can think.

“Are the boys okay?” I ask sounding worried
, I can see this doesn’t please him because he lets out a quick breath and his chest puffs up like a fucking rooster.

“They’re the ones that jumped
me
and you’re asking if
they’re
okay? Seriously Harley” His eyes widen with rage.

“That’s exactly what I’m asking and you didn’t answer me.” I raise my e
yebrows as I wait for an answer and sit on the end of the bed.

“Of course they’re fine! They told me some shit about you leaving because
of Avery? What’s with that? You know I love you Harley and I would never do that again to you, but fuck Harley… I need you to trust me. ” his hands move around frantically in the air as he speaks.

“Are you serious right now Caleb?” I ask bewildered.

“We’re just friends.” He states with a shrug.

“As soon as she arrived it was
as if I didn’t exist. You ignored me the entire fucking time; I mean…you didn’t even notice me leaving the table because you were so focused on her. God! You even warned Brent away from her like a possessive fucking boyfriend.” I shake my head and look away from him as the tears fall and my sadness simmers to sadness.

“You didn’t even
bother to introduce me as your girlfriend. Wait…” I wipe away my tears and let out a forced laugh. “Am I even your girlfriend?” I laugh harder even as the tears fall faster. “Fuck… I don’t even know.” I bend my head and wipe away the tears then fold my hands on my lap and look down at them. My damp hair falls to hide my face and creates a barrier to hide the falling tears. Even though I can hide the tears, I can’t hide the way my body trembles as I sob. “You can’t even bare to touch me anymore…” I whisper.

He obviously hear
s this because he moves so quickly and kneels on the floor in front of me, pushing my legs open and standing on his knees between them. I sob harder. His hand comes up and breaks the shield as he places my hair gently behind my ear and away from my face. He cups my jaw, forcing me to face him but I close my eyes and move my face away from his hands. I feel the remaining tears fall but before they can reach my jawline Caleb wipes them away.

“I do want to touch you baby. I want to touch you so bad...” he lets out a frustrated sigh as he looks away from me and I swear he blushes. He clears his throat, “I’m
so scared I’ll fuck it up, we haven’t been together for a very long time and my body misses the ways yours feels when I’m inside of you. I’m scared it’ll be over before it even begins, that’s why I push you away. I don’t mean to but I do. I just can’t mess this up too.” He says in a soft caring voice.

“What about Avery?
” I ask. He doesn’t say anything for a few minutes then he lets out a breath and I know I’m not going to like what he has to say.

“I care about her.” He whispers. I push at his chest and he stumbles to the floor. I make a bee
-line for the door, needing to get away.

“No wait!” Caleb calls out as he gets up and comes after me. I pull and pull on the door handle
even though I know it’s locked and try to swallow back the tears.

I head for the open window near the bed praying I can get out somehow. I jump on the bed
avoiding the area where Caleb stands but he grabs my ankle pulling me down. I fall onto the bed and he flips me over. He climbs on top of me and straddles my hips as he holds my hands down on either side of my head. I stop struggling when I feel the tears slip out, my chest heaving as a sob escapes my lips.

“
It’s not like that Harley. I care about her but not like that. Not like you, I only love you baby…only you.” He bends down and rests his cheek against mine snuggling into me.

“Calm down baby, it kills me to see you like this.”
He says with a strained voice. His long hair tickles my face as he holds me tight. I keep moving my face away from his but he forces our cheeks to touch, I don’t have room to move.

I finally
calm myself down enough to talk, “You danced with her…” I say softly still full of hurt. “You didn’t dance with me, you ignored me Caleb. You forgot I was even around, but you danced with
her
.”

A pained look comes across his face, he lets go
of my hands and sits up still straddling me. He covers his face with his hands then moves it through his hair before letting out a deep breath.

“I fucked up
baby. I handled the situation badly and I get that now Harley. I was surprised to see her there. She was supposed to be…” he pauses and looks away for a moment before continuing. His eyes find mine again as he speaks. “…she just wasn’t supposed to be in your fathers bar. And when I told Brent to stay away from her, I was saying that for
his
sake. She’s no good for him. We dated for a while but she knew my heart still belonged to you, she knew all about you baby. She and I ended things on good terms but the girl has too many issues, issues with her father and just personal shit she needed to deal with, she needed help but I couldn’t be her shoulder to cry on anymore, I needed space and I told her that. She said she was going to get help but she disappeared and tonight was the first time I’ve seen her since then. I didn’t dance with her, she dragged me along and I took the opportunity to talk to her alone.” His expression is sincere as he looks down at me, speaking as if it hurts to talk about it. “I’m not going to get into too much detail because it’s her shit to tell but you saw how high she was, right? I needed to confront her about it but I didn’t want to do it in front of everyone in case she caused a scene. I told her she needed to leave, that I don’t feel comfortable being around her when she is like that. I returned to the booth to apologise to you and that’s when the boys told me you were gone.” He rests his forehead against mine.

I close my eyes when his hair falls in my eyes.

“Fuck….I’m so sorry baby. I was so fixated on keeping her away from you that I didn’t realize I was ignoring you. She knows how much I love you but she’s unstable when she’s high and can be one mean bitch when she doesn’t get her way. I promise you Harley I didn’t mean to hurt you and I didn’t mean to ignore you either. You know I’d do
anything
to keep you.” His voice is full of pain.

I look into blue eyes
that stare into my own in the dim room, he looks so fragile and I’m not used to seeing Caleb this way.

“Don’t…don’t ever treat me that way again Caleb, I can’t take it... I won’t. You don’t know what it
felt like being ignored like that! It fucking hurt watching you two together. I don’t want to ever feel that way again!” My voice breaks as I firmly say the words. His face shows so much pain as he nods. He bends down and kisses my nose ever so softly, then slides his nose down my cheek and presses his lips to mine.

He’s so close
that I can feel his warm breath against my lips. I’m still so angry with him but I just can’t resist considering his closeness. My one hand softly moves to the back of his head and slides through his hair as I bring his lips down to meet mine. I can feel the sheet being pulled in his fists as he squeezes the linen but the tense muscles in his shoulders and upper back relax under my touch.

My other hand goes to the bottom of his
shirt; I place it underneath and feel his soft skin tense from my cold fingers. I run my hands up his ribs, over the muscles and toward his chest underneath his black shirt. He breaks his lips from mine and sits up. I miss the weight and warmth of his body on top of mine immediately but to my delight he tugs off his shirt, throwing it on the floor then drops his lips back to mine. He runs his tongue against my lips and when I don’t open my mouth and let him in, his hand moves to my jaw and he gently motions for me to open wide.

I do.

He leans on both of his elbows, shielding me in his embrace. I move my hands up the muscles on his lower back then rest both of them around his neck forcing his body to lean closer into me.

He moans.

“Off.” He mumbles into my mouth.

“H
uh?” I take a breath removing my lips from his. I look up at him confused.

He brings his
one hand down to the bottom of my shirt as he takes me in for another kiss, he tugs on my shirt.

“Off.” He repeats as he
removes his mouth from mine.

I don’t break the kiss when he sits up and
scoots away instead I sit up with my lips still attached to his. I sit on my knees and give him a lingering kiss then pull off my shirt. He starts taking off his pants and of course he’s commando underneath.

My eyes widen when I see how excited he
really is. Little butterflies twirl inside me.

I do a
silent
thank you Jesus
in my head before our bodies clash again. He doesn’t waste any time pulling my underwear down my legs so that his firm muscular warm body is the only thing I feel against mine.

Skin to skin.

I’m so thankful I’m on the pill right now; I don’t want anything between us.

This has been a long time coming
so I allow the anger to fade as I focus my attention on him, the anticipation making me tremble with impatience.

He leans me down gently on the bed and covers my body with his.

“You’re so beautiful baby. I’ve missed touching you… being this close.” He whispers as he kisses me down my jaw, neck and toward my breasts. I’ve missed the gentle way he would speak to me when we were intimate. We might not have been that adventurous in our younger years but he would always whisper his appreciation for me while we made love, I’m so glad that hasn’t changed over the four years.

I let out a whimper when he licks my nipple then he
moves across to the other, sucking on it soft and lightly. I lift my chest up into him as I close my eyes and feel the little strokes of his tongue.

I
wrap one leg over his back, my foot resting on his firm bottom, I pull him as much as I can against me, making sure he knows just how ready I am.

I’m impatient but I don’t care. I need him.

He continues to nip and suck, his one hand rests on my upper thigh before lifting it so it joins the other leg already wrapped around his waist, opening me fully for him. I feel him at my entrance, ready to go.

“I
can’t wait any longer...” he says hoarsely.

“I don’t want you to
.” I say out breathlessly and he doesn’t waste another single moment.