A Crack in the Sky (15 page)

“Still hurts,” Tabitha would reply, even though it was fine.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Can I get you anything? Like, some water?”

“Yes, that would be great. Thank you.”

A minute later she would return and set a paper cup by the bed. Tabitha would sit up and gulp the water down, grateful to feel something wet and cool in her throat. She realized she was feeling much better now, more relaxed.

“Soon you should be ready to leave the admissions ward and join the others in the productivity areas. It’ll be good for you to feel useful again.”

Tabitha would only shrug. There was no way anybody was getting her to work for InfiniCorp—not if she could help it, anyway. She was still trying to think of a way to escape, but she was running out of ideas.

Where were the Friends of Gustavo? She wished they would hurry up. Otherwise she might end up stuck on some production line for the rest of her life.

One of the programs they streamed here on the CloudNet sphere every night was a series called
Wham! Bam! Jam!
—a romantic musical drama about three former Fogger kids, two boys and a girl, who had seen the error of their ways and now worked happily together in a food-processing plant at the outskirts of the desert. During the day they made strawberry preserves for needy children, but at night they were secret agents who mended broken hearts through good deeds while
exposing Outsider plots against the company. At the end of each episode there was always a big production number in which everybody danced and sang songs about forgiveness, the virtues of hard work, and the benefits of whatever new InfiniCorp product was the focus of the show. The former Foggers were especially good at picking out cool new clothes. Despite herself, Tabitha found it to be a very uplifting show. The music was terrific too.

One morning Tabitha woke to find Representative Shine sitting on the side of her bed. She was holding Tabitha’s hand and looking concerned. Tabitha wasn’t scared of her or what she was doing, just puzzled. In fact, she’d taken such good care of her that Tabitha was actually starting to like her. She was just a girl, that was all. Like Tabitha, Representative Shine was only doing her job. Tabitha’s issue was with the company, not her.

“Hello?” Tabitha asked, still groggy.

“You were calling out in your sleep,” she said. “Who’s Ben?”

This took a second to register in Tabitha’s mind. But then suddenly she was awake. A sick feeling spread through her. On instinct Tabitha pretended to be confused, still too sleepy to answer, but inside she was at full attention. Ben! She’d been so careful not to say his name! It was the only way she had to protect him. And yet in her sleep she’d gone and betrayed him after all! What had she
done?

Without thinking, she pulled her hand away. Representative Shine seemed to sense something was wrong. “Oh no!” she said, her own hand rising to her mouth. “I’ve upset you!
He’s somebody important to you, isn’t he? Somebody you don’t want to talk about?”

Tabitha said nothing.

“And stupid, idiot me,” she continued. “I’ve stressed you out because now you think that telling me his name puts Ben, whoever he is, at risk somehow. That’s it, isn’t it?” She looked truly upset with herself, like she might even cry. “Oh, you poor, poor thing.”

But still Tabitha kept her mouth shut. There was nothing she could do to take back what she’d given away in her sleep, but there was no chance she was giving up any other information. She was devastated with disappointment at herself. What would the Friends think of her now if they knew? At that moment if she could have flung herself into the Gulf of Mexico, she would have.

“God, I’m so sorry,” Representative Shine said. She stood up and backed toward the door. “I didn’t mean to pry. It’s just that I happened to hear you and I was curious, that’s all. You have to believe me. You don’t need to worry. Really. It’s not what you’re thinking. I’ll leave you alone now. We’ll make this our secret, okay? We’ll pretend this conversation didn’t even happen.”

A moment later Tabitha was alone again, still reeling from what she’d done. How many Bens did she know back in St. Louis? Not so many. How hard would it be for the company to make a list and connect him with her? And then what would happen to him? Oh god! If only there were a way to contact him! If anything bad were to happen to Ben, she didn’t know what she would do! She could see his face; his brown
eyes, always so serious; his sideways smile. She missed him so much it hurt. She would have given anything to know he was safe, or at least to be sure the Friends would rescue her soon so she could get word to him before it was too late. This was her only hope.

Or was it? She thought of Representative Shine and how upset she’d seemed at causing her so much distress. Maybe she was telling the truth. Maybe she wasn’t pretending to be her friend—maybe she really was.

Maybe Representative Shine wouldn’t tell anyone about Ben.

Tabitha didn’t get out of bed all day. She left her lunch untouched and couldn’t bring herself to eat at dinnertime either. She pulled the sheets over her head to block out the world. But it was no use. She couldn’t escape what she’d done.

That evening, when Representative Shine appeared with a tray of tea and cookies, she closed the door behind her. She’d never done that before. Tabitha was instantly on alert. She watched as the girl set the tray next to the bed and sat beside her. In one of her hands there was an envelope.

“I went through the files,” she whispered, brushing back a lock of green hair that had fallen over her eyes. “I found something for you.”

Tabitha watched Representative Shine open the envelope and remove what looked like a photograph. She held it up.

“Is this Ben?”

Tabitha couldn’t believe her eyes. It
was
him. It was the
head shot they’d taken for identification on his first day at the Program. She felt everything rushing back to her, all that she’d left behind. She tried to contain her emotion, but it was too much. Her eyes started welling up, and she couldn’t stop it from happening.

Representative Shine nodded. “I guessed right, then. Don’t worry. Nobody else knows about him. I kept my promise. I was able to figure it out because he was the only Ben taken that same day you were. He was the first one they captured. I’m sorry—that must be hard for you to hear.”

Tabitha’s world was whirling again. Ben was taken too? The company had him? Oh, this was horrible news! The worst possible!

But then again, maybe it wasn’t. After all,
she
was being treated just fine. What was more, it occurred to her that maybe, just maybe, she could see him again. Her heart skipped a beat. She sat up. She was desperate to know. Where was he? Was it possible that all this time he’d been right here, somewhere else in this tower?

Before she could ask, though, she noticed that Representative Shine’s expression was drawn and sad, like a person about to deliver bad news. And then it came: “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but Ben is dead. He took his own life. He’s gone.”

Tabitha couldn’t breathe. It was as if somebody had ripped her insides right out of her chest.

“I’m so, so sorry,” the sweet-faced girl said, her bottom lip quivering. “It happened the same day they picked you up. They captured him early that morning. He was the only one the company knew about at the time. The Guardians did
everything they could to try to help him, but before they could sedate him, he freaked. He cried and begged for mercy. He started blurting out the names of all the Foggers he knew. I guess he thought if he did that then they might let him go.” She paused. “Tabitha, he was the one who gave us your name. You didn’t betray him—he betrayed
you
. I just thought you should know that.”

Tabitha could only gape at her. Could it be true? Was it possible that Ben was not only dead but that he’d turned out to be a coward and a traitor to the Friends, and even to
her?
It was too much to wrap her mind around. How could she have so misjudged him? How could she have been so wrong about so many things?

That’s when the room really started to spin.

“I wouldn’t have told you any of this except I guessed he was someone … 
special
to you. At first I couldn’t decide what to do, but in the end I thought … well, I thought it wouldn’t be right
not
to tell you.”

Tabitha realized Representative Shine was holding her hand again, only this time she didn’t pull hers away. The girl was still talking but she was barely listening anymore. Her throat was tight, and it was so warm in here.

“It’s all right, Tabitha. It’s okay to cry.”

Tabitha tried to speak but nothing came out. She was hyperventilating. Her life was over and Ben was gone. Even the beautiful memory of him was tainted now. The principled boy she thought she knew had never really existed in the first place. Soon she felt the girl’s soft arms wrap around her, and she didn’t know what to do. She wanted to hate her but she
couldn’t. Maybe Representative Shine was all she had left now, her last connection to anything real. Maybe she was the only friend she had left in the world.

It was all so confusing. It was so, so hard to know.

The whole universe was spinning faster and faster, and Tabitha wasn’t sure what to believe in anymore.

8
the wild orange yonder

Eli stayed alert for more CloudNet messages or any other sign the voices were trying to contact him again. But nothing happened. After several days he concluded they must have figured he was too much of a risk after all and abandoned the idea. Either that, or his family had managed to block them completely.

In a way, it was a relief.

Then one afternoon Eli and Marilyn had a fight, which was rare for them, and Eli decided to go for a walk to cool down. Shoulders hunched, he headed up Hope Street with his fists thrust deep in his trouser pockets.

It was a stupid argument. It’d started after he’d discovered her under his bed in yet another of her trances.

“All you do anymore is lie there,” he’d commented.

She barely stirred. When she answered, her voice was distant and lethargic.
Leave me alone. I’m swimming in a binary ocean. I’m riding a digital tidal wave of ones and zeros.…

He wanted to let it go, but he couldn’t. It irked him how difficult it was to get her attention lately. Like most of his cousins, she was often in a daze now. Claudia too—when she wasn’t working, she spent much of her free time watching the sphere or playing dream games.

He shoved his chair back. “Let’s go exploring. It’s been forever since we went for a walk. It’ll do us both good.”

This time she didn’t even respond at all.

“What’s happening to you?” And then he’d blurted out something he regretted as soon as he said it: “Wasting so much time with machines is screwing up your chip, Marilyn. The CloudNet is making you stupid.”

This got her attention. She lifted her head and hissed at him. She’d never done that before.
Don’t worry about my chip, Eli. It’s not like you’re around much these days
.

He’d stormed out of the house and down the sidewalk, half-expecting her to rush up behind him. But now he was blocks away, and still no Marilyn. His boots shuffled along the pavement. It had been a while since he’d left the house without some specific purpose in mind. Why did he have to go and pick a fight? Now Marilyn probably wouldn’t speak to him for the rest of the day.

Without any particular plan he turned the corner onto Wickenden Street, which was crowded with people moving in and out of the cafés and clubs that lined both sides of the steep incline. Even during the day the streets were often busy with night-shift workers or daytime employees on their breaks. At that moment, sparklers lit the street corners and loud music blasted from all directions. Two blocks ahead he could see the giant flashing sign above the entrance to the Bubble station,
the local subway stop for commuting employees. He dug his hands deeper into his pockets and started up the hill.

He sighed.

So much weighed on his mind, and not just Marilyn. Tomorrow he was going to Grandfather’s for the Festival of Optimism, another celebration day. He was looking forward to the party, he supposed, and especially to seeing Sebastian for the first time since he’d left home, but even that had a downside. By all accounts, in his first ten weeks with the company his brother was already doing outstanding work. This was terrific for him, of course, but it also put more pressure on Eli. As each day passed he was becoming more and more nervous. What if despite all his recent work, he still didn’t get into the Management Training Program? What if he ended up assigned to some low-level job that brought shame to Father and Mother?

He wished he could just find out and get it over with.

From up ahead came the metallic tink-tonk of circus music played on what sounded like a toy piano, and then an electronic voice calling out, “Welcome to the East Side, my friend! Welcome to where the party lasts all day and the celebrating never ends!”

Eli looked up. It was a funbot, one of the colorful little clown droids that made sure everyone knew where to find the good parties. It was waving one of its oversized foam hands and rolling in Eli’s direction.