A Daughter for Christmas (9 page)

The reason he was here was for Taylor. And only Taylor.

But as the rest of the meal progressed, the good-natured teasing and conversation around him tugged at him. What would have happened if he and Alicia hadn't divorced and they'd raised Taylor? He would have had the family he'd wanted.

“Who made this sweet potato casserole?” Granny asked, dishing up a second helping.

“I did.” Max relaxed back, stuffed after eating too much turkey, dressing, homemade cranberry sauce, fresh green beans and biscuits.

“Delicious,” Rachel's grandmother said with a ripple of agreements going around the table. “I'd like to get the recipe from you.”

“I wish I could, but it's a family secret.” Max slipped a look at Rachel, who could hardly contain her laugh. He winked at her.

Granny snorted. “And you would gladly give it to me if I traded my fudge one for it?”

“You and I see eye to eye.” He grinned.

“I think I'll take some home with me. We'll see if I can't figure this out.” Granny dug into the helping of the sweet potato casserole on her plate.

Leaning toward him, Rachel whispered, “I think she's thrown down the gauntlet.”

“Maybe I could get that fudge analyzed. Do you know any labs that might do that around here?” Max asked in a serious voice, then he winked at Rachel again.

Rachel looked at him a few seconds then burst out laughing.

“What's so funny, Mom?” Taylor took some more of the sweet potato casserole, too.

“The battle for the recipes between Granny and Max. He has been wanting her fudge one.”

“Oh, that one you've been trying to teach me.”

Max sat forward. “She has? We'll have to talk later, Taylor.”

His daughter giggled. “I know never to make Granny mad.”

“Isn't she such a good kid?” Rachel's grandmother finished her meal and lounged back, a satisfied smile on her face.

Yeah, Taylor is. And I want to be part of her life.
The more he was around his daughter, the more he knew that. If only he could do that without anyone getting hurt.

T
oday, Rachel would be driving to Tulsa. The thought she wouldn't be alone brought joy to her. Not just her children would be with her, but also Max. Staring at herself in the mirror, she held up one outfit after another, trying to decide what to wear. Since they were going to the Tulsa Zoo as well as the Philbrook Museum for the reception and quilting display, she needed something practical and casual that could be dressed up for later in the day.

Finally, she held up a long flowing skirt with the fall colors. She had brown boots she could wear to the zoo and heels for the reception. As she laid her clothes for the trip on her bed, she zoomed in on her wedding ring, the sun's rays streaming into the bedroom highlighting it.

Instantly, the picture of her and Max kissing on Thanksgiving flashed into her mind—with all the sensations that kiss produced in her. Her heart thumping against her chest. The swirling in her stomach as if a whirlwind had raged inside her. And in a way it had.

She cared about Max. Could see him as more than a friend if she totally let go. She loved Lawrence—always
would—but she was lonely. Spending this past month with Max made her realize she did want more.

Sinking on to her bed, Rachel twisted the ring around on her finger.
Am I ready? Lord, how do I know?

She stared at the platinum band with a diamond solitaire. Her teeth dug into her bottom lip. The churning in her stomach settled down. In that moment, she sensed the Lord surrounding her in calmness.

She gripped the ring and slid it off her finger for the first time in years. Pushing herself to her feet, she crossed to her jewelry box and set it inside. She would never know if she didn't take the risk.

 

“Mom, you got first place for your quilt.” Taylor waved toward Rachel's creation draping on the wall at the Philbrook Museum.

Rachel stopped a few feet into the large room where the quilts were on display. Across the expanse, hers—a large decorated Christmas tree on a cream background bordered in forest green—hung in the middle with a blue ribbon attached to it.

“It's beautiful. I'm impressed,” Max said close to her ear.

A tingle shivered down her length from the brush of his warm breath on her neck. “Thanks. It took me a good part of the summer to do it. It was hard to get in the holiday mood when it was a hundred degrees outside.”

“I haven't had the pleasure of a summer in Oklahoma yet, but it can't be worse than the desert where I was stationed some of the time.”

“Will you take a picture of me and the children with the quilt?” Rachel dug into her purse and withdrew her digital camera.

“Sure.”

She lined up Will on one side of the quilt and Taylor and Sam on the other. Then she stood next to Will. “Smiles.” When she saw Taylor hold up two fingers behind Sam's head, she added, “This one is a serious picture.”

“Then we can't smile,” Will said, squirming next to her.

“I mean no funny business on this one then we can get crazy in the next one.”

After Max took the photo, he handed the camera to a lady watching them. “Will you take a picture of us?” When she agreed, he hurried to Taylor's side. “I have to get in on the funny one.”

“Okay, this time nothing serious.” Rachel swung Will into her arms.

Max pulled out a pair of sunglasses while Taylor stretched out on the floor beneath the quilt and Sam sat on her.

“Ready.” The older woman put the camera up to her face.

Max made a funny face while Rachel tickled Will and he giggled.

After the lady snapped the picture, she brought the camera to Max and said, “You have a beautiful family.”

For a second, a frown skittered across his expression before he fixed a smile on his face and said, “Thanks, but I'm just a friend.”

Just a friend. What if it were more? Rachel had removed her wedding ring. Did he notice or care? Before she'd dated Lawrence, she hadn't gone out with many men and had always kept her distance emotionally. Lawrence had changed all that. But there were still times she felt so inept with the ways of men.

Checking her watch, Rachel noted the time was near for the reception. She knelt in front of Will and Sam and adjusted their clothes so their shirts were tucked into their pants and Sam's hair was combed into place. “I expect you two to be on your best behavior or we'll have to leave the reception. I'd like to stay to see who bids on my quilt. The money goes to a good charity to help children. After this we'll stop at your favorite fast-food restaurant for dinner before we head home. Okay?”

Both boys solemnly nodded their heads.

“Stay with me or Taylor. No wandering off.”

They bobbed their heads again, overly enthusiastically.

As she stood, she rolled her eyes toward the ceiling and prayed for help to keep her twins in line. They had been so well-behaved all day that she was afraid they wouldn't be able to contain themselves much longer.

Max escorted her and the children toward the room where the reception was being held. Around the walls were long tables with sheets of paper before a photo of the quilts on display and up for the silent auction. Rachel took Will's hand while Taylor grabbed Sam's, then wandered around to see the bids. Rachel found hers. So far there was one amount down on the paper.

Will yanked on her arm. “I'm thirsty. And hungry.”

“Let's go to the refreshment table and get something.” As she walked away, she noticed Max stop in front of her bid sheet and write an amount down.

She quickly turned away before he caught her looking at him. After filling two cups with punch and getting a plate of goodies, she weaved her way through the crowd to Taylor who sat at a table with Sam. Will hopped up in the chair next to his sister and stuffed a small cookie into his mouth then washed it down with a gulp of the
fruit drink, leaving a red ring around his mouth. Rachel gave him a napkin, and he wiped the juice off his face.

“Are we gonna be here long, Mom?” Taylor stared beyond Rachel.

She glanced over her shoulder to see Max approach. “We'll leave when the auction is finished. If you want to take your brothers to look at the decorated Christmas trees, you can. It should be about half an hour.”

“Do you all want to see the trees?” Taylor finished off her punch.

“Yeah,” Sam answered, followed by Will's affirmative.

“I'll bring them back in half an hour. You'll be here?”

As Rachel told her yes, Taylor snatched a last cookie from her plate and rose. After popping it into her mouth, she grasped the boys' hands and made her way toward the door.

“Alone at last,” Max said and sat where Taylor had been.

“If you call being in a room with a hundred guests alone, then we are.” Rachel finally took a chair next to Max.

“I'm impressed with your workmanship.”

“Is that why you bid on my quilt?”

“I bid on it because I want it. The money goes to a good cause and I don't have anything for the holidays. It would look great on my couch. I never had a tree. I always worked on Christmas before so I didn't see any reason to buy ornaments and decorations.”

“Then you'll have to keep an eye on the bid.”

He snagged her gaze and held it for a long moment. “I intend to. I was hoping I could get you to help me do something for my lawn. I noticed all the neighbors have
lights and decorations out. This morning I got a glare from my next-door neighbor. Not Doug but the other side. He wanted to know when I was putting up my lights.”

“Oh, Harry really gets into it, but he's harmless. Just ignore him if you don't want to.”

“If I'm gonna live in Tallgrass, I need to fit in.” Max grasped her hand, rubbing his fingers into her palm. “Please. Your lawn is tastefully done.”

“Fine,” she said with a laugh at the hangdog expression he gave her.

“Great.” He paused, his brow creasing. When he peered down at their hands clasped, he turned hers over and examined it. His pupils dilated. “You took off your wedding ring.”

“Yes. I thought it was time.” Her throat closed around those words. His tone—with a hint of incredulity—didn't exactly reassure her that she'd done the right thing. “Lawrence has been gone for two and a half years.”

“I—I…”

The sound of the bell indicating ten minutes left to bid echoed through the large room.

“I'd better go over and stand near the bid sheet.” He bolted to his feet and hurried away.

Rachel brought her hand to her face, feeling the warmth of his touch on her skin. She'd totally misread his interest. This just proved she didn't have a clue about men.

 

She took off her wedding ring. What does that mean?
Max's hands on the steering wheel tightened until they ached.

He couldn't wait any longer to tell her why he was in Tallgrass. He'd wanted to know Taylor better—have
a firmer foundation before he said anything, but he couldn't anymore. Once he told Rachel, their relationship would change—not for the good, but he didn't have any choice if he wanted to be in his daughter's life. And he wanted to be. Listening to her presentation on Louis Pasteur during her science class, he'd felt as if he'd actually helped her. That feeling had been something he wanted to experience again. And again.

Rachel deserved to know. He hated the thought they wouldn't even remain friends possibly. He cared about Rachel—perhaps too much, which was another reason he needed to tell her. He wasn't good at relationships, emotions. He'd messed up his marriage to Alicia to the point she'd kept the knowledge of his daughter from him.

“Mom, Will and Sam are taking up most of the backseat.”

His daughter's voice cut into his thoughts, bringing him back to the present.

Rachel twisted around and peered at Taylor. “Hon, they're sleeping. We'll be home soon.”

Taylor sighed loudly and stared out the side window. “Fine.”

When Rachel turned back around, she caught his gaze lingering on her. He swiveled his attention toward the highway.

“I thought you were going to get into a fight with that woman at the reception,” Rachel said, amusement woven through her words.

“I wasn't going to let her get the quilt.” He chuckled. “She wasn't too happy when I bid a thousand dollars.”

“Yeah, I noticed. She stomped off.”

“It was worth every penny. It's for a good cause, and now I have a work of art I can display at Christmas.” He
started to ask her again about helping with decorating his lawn, but instead bit the inside of his mouth to keep the question inside. After this evening, they would be on opposite sides of a battle for Taylor.

The outskirts of Tallgrass came into view. The closer he neared their street the more his gut constricted into a huge knot. When he pulled into her driveway and parked her car in her garage, a taut band contracted about his chest, making each breath he drew in labored. He didn't want to hurt Rachel, but he didn't see any other way except silence. And he couldn't do that. In New York he'd toyed with that idea. Getting to know his daughter from afar. Being an observer only in his child's life.

But not now. This past month in her life only emphasized the impossibility of that.

Taylor hopped out of the car and headed for the door. Rachel scooped up Sam in her arms while Max carried Will into the house and up the stairs to his bedroom. He placed the boy on his bed, and he immediately curled onto his side and snuggled deeper into his pillow. Max removed the child's shoes and covered him with a blanket.

Straightening, he stared down at Will. What would it be like to have more than one child? He was still getting used to the idea of having a daughter, but he didn't think it would take much to want another. Once he'd dreamed of having a large family—with Alicia. The memory of her betrayal pierced his heart and opened the healing wound. If Alicia hadn't done what she'd done, he wouldn't be faced with telling Rachel about Taylor.

“Is Will still asleep?” Rachel asked behind him.

He pivoted toward her and nodded. The lump in his throat prevented him from saying anything. He swallowed several times.

“So is Sam. I used to drive them around to get them to sleep when they were babies. I guess it still works. Would you like some coffee or hot chocolate?”

“Hot chocolate sounds nice.” He trudged toward the hallway, each step weighted down as though he dragged an iron ball on a chain behind him. The words he held inside burned in his gut and continued to jam his throat.

 

Rachel brought the two mugs full of hot chocolate to the kitchen table and set one down in front of Max. “Today was fun. I think all the kids enjoyed the trip, even Taylor. Did you see her eyes when she was at the elephant enclosure at the zoo?”

“I think she would have stayed there the whole time if it hadn't been for Will and Sam whining to go see the monkeys.”

“Then all they did was race through so they could get to the snakes and birds.”

“Yep, that about sums up the whole morning.”

She sipped at her drink. “You were good with them. I don't sense any hostility from my daughter.”

“Is she usually hostile to a new person?” Deep lines scrunched between his eyebrows.

“No, but I think at first she saw you replacing her father.”

His lips pinched into a thin grimace. “Why?”

“Because you were taking over her father's office, working where he did. And…” She dropped her gaze from his.

“And what?”

“Since Lawrence died, I haven't been interested in a—” she curled her cold hands around her mug “—another man.” Suddenly, the conversation was heading for shaky
ground. Her mind swirled with different explanations of what she'd meant but she couldn't grasp any of them.

“Interested?”

The word, spoken in a husky rawness, lifted her gaze to his eyes, reconnecting with the dark green with flakes of gold in them. Her parched throat seized her voice, his look captured hers and bound her to him. She'd never been bold with a man, not even Lawrence, and how she'd all but practically told Max she was attracted to him. She wanted to take the declaration back.