A Dom's Dilemma (30 page)

She winced. “No. Not really. Though sometimes it can make me a little horny, if I don’t think it’s going to hurt too much.”

“Ahh. So, it’s the amount of pain you think the spanker is going to deliver which determines if you’ll enjoy the experience or not?”

“Um. Duh…?”

He gave her a light tap. “Attitude.” She wrinkled her nose, but tucked her head back under his chin, which was something she did when she was feeling insecure. He paused for a moment, then added, “So, you enjoy some of the benefits as well as the pitfalls of bein’ a sub, but not the term itself.”

She nodded, then drew back to look at him. “That’s not right either. I don’t mind if Kyle calls me a sub, or if Greg or Daniel do it. I just don’t like it when you do it.”

“And why is that?”

“Because I want to be more than that to you.”

He nodded. “So, you’re lookin’ at me more as a lover than a Dom?”

“Why not both? Do they have to be two separate things?”

“Good question. Can they be the same? What would you think if your boyfriend threatened to take you over his knee?”

“Are you the boyfriend in question?”

“What if I were?”

“Then I’d think you were being my Dom, and not my boyfriend.”

“So, boyfriends don’t spank?”

“Not seriously.”

“And Doms?”

“Oh, yeah. They spank. Sometimes a lot harder than a sub wants.”

“So, when you call me Jim, which is punishable if I’m your Dom, what are you askin’ or wantin’ then?”

She shrugged. “Sometimes I’m worried you’re only seeing me as a thing, and I want you to see me as Kelly the person, not your sub.”

“Because?”

“Because I don’t want to be only a thing to you.”

“All right. Let me give you a few of my thoughts on this. For me a sub is someone a Dom is totally responsible for. Pleasure and punishment. So, he takes control of her life in ways a boyfriend or lover would never consider, because a Dom intends to make sure nothin’ bad ever happens to his sub while she’s under his watch.

“She is definitely a person, not a belongin’ or a thing, but she is also his possession, and one he intends to possess fully … emotionally and sexually. He is there to help teach and guide and expand her horizons past her comfort zone as well as ensure she does nothin’ that would endanger her health or well-bein’.

“Now. Do you think I treat you that way?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“And does that bother you?”

“No, Sir. That’s the part I like. It makes me feel protected and cared for.”

“Good. Because that’s the part I especially like as well. So, tell me what part you don’t like.”

She took a deep breath and blurted, “That you don’t think I have the right to touch you when and where I want. And even though you think I’m good enough to have your cock inside me, I’m still not good enough to call you by your first name.”

“Wow. You do have a way with words, darlin’. I’ll say that for you.” A knock sounded at the door, so Jim lifted Kelly and put her aside. “I’ll get it. This discussion isn’t over by half, but I want you to stay where you are for now. Understood?”

She nodded, so he got up, put his hand on his gun and checked through the peephole. He didn’t recognize the person, so he said, “Yes?”

“I was told you might need assistance getting a package downtown, sir.” Jim nodded, and opened the door. “Come in.”

Once the officer was inside, Jim shut the door and put out his hand. “Detective Jim Evans.”

“Officer William Riley, sir.” The other man replied, taking Jim’s hand. Then Jim stretched out his arm for Kelly and introduced her to Riley. She immediately stepped forward to shake the officer’s hand but quickly retreated to tuck herself in at Jim’s side.

Jim gazed down and gave her chin a light pinch. “I’m gonna leave now, but I want you to stay here with Officer Riley and do what he says. He’ll bring you down to the station later to look through some pictures.”

She nodded, but tears filled her eyes, so he drew her into his arms and kissed her hair. “Now, don’t you worry none, darlin’. I’ll see you shortly.”

“I’m scared.”

“I know you are, sugar, but there’s no reason to be. Officer Riley will take good care of you, and it won’t be long before you’ll have me breathin’ down your neck again, orderin’ you to do things.”

She laughed, drew back a bit and wrinkled her nose at him. “Yeah. You do that almost better than anyone else I know.”

He tapped her nose for the impertinence, but smiled, then turned back to Riley. “I’m sure you understand she’s much more than a potential witness to me?”

“Yes, sir. I did manage to catch that.”

“Good. So, you’ll also realize I want her handled with great care and protected so well that nothin’ can harm a single hair on her head.”

“Got it, Sir.”

Satisfied, Jim nodded, then giving Kelly a quick kiss on the lips, he left.

That night, when Kelly asked if they could go back to his place, Jim shook his head. “Although I’d love to take you home with me, darlin’,” he said, “if he’s watchin’ I think it’s best we stay here.

She was cuddled up on his lap again after he’d fixed them both sandwiches for dinner and managed to get her kitchen under some semblance of order. Currently she was content, although she’d already earned herself one quick spanking due to her attitude. As he reviewed the day in his mind he had to admit she’d been great at the station, and even blushingly apologized to some of the officers who’d witnessed her debacle last Friday

 She’d spent nearly two hours flipping through hundreds of photos, but didn’t find Mike among them. So, she’d been a bit cranky and out of sorts when she realized another officer was going to take her home instead of Jim. He’d told her he’d be there as soon as he could, except that wasn’t good enough. She’d scowled at him like a small child wanting to throw a tantrum, but managed to hold back, only because she knew she’d be in big trouble if she acted up at the station again.

By the time he walked through the door to replace Officer Kent, he could practically see smoke coming out of her ears when she said, “Nice of you to deign to return, Detective.”

He gave her a warning look, but said nothing as Kent reported anything he’d seen or heard that he thought Jim ought to know. After he’d completed his report, the officer leaned forward and said quietly, “I think she’s missed you, sir. She’s been doing a lot of pacing back and forth and muttering to herself. I tried to get her to settle down, but she didn’t take kindly to my interference.”

“Did she give you any trouble?” Jim asked, ready to put her over his knee right then and there if she had.

“No, sir. She stayed away from the windows, when I asked, and always spoke politely to me.”

“Good. Thanks for your report, Officer. I’ll take over now.”

“Thank you, sir.”

After seeing Kent out, Jim found Kelly standing in front of her fake fireplace staring at the painting she had hung above it. It was one of those modern art cubist designs he didn’t much care for. Instead, what captured his attention was the way his sub had her hands on her hips and was tapping her foot in barely suppressed agitation.

“Kelly,” he said softly.

She whirled around and scowled at him. “Do not even attempt to lecture me on my attitude, James Andrew Evans. An hour ago you said you’d be here as soon as you could. What took you so long?”

Jim regarded her stonily. “I don’t appreciate your tone, young lady.”

“Tough,” she muttered under her breath, though he still heard her.

“I’m getting’ the feelin’ you need to be reminded of the ways to show proper respect to your Dom. Scowlin’ and sassin’ are not on the list.”

Though she lowered her arms to her sides, the slight tremble in her lower lip signaled her angry display was covering up a deeper problem.

He suspected he knew what bothered her, but until he could get her to lower her defenses she’d keep fighting him, primarily because she was afraid he’d leave if he saw how vulnerable and lost she truly felt. She was tense and upset and most likely needed to cry for a bit, but she was determined not to. That meant he would have to push her. He had a feeling it wouldn’t take much, so he’d start out with some gentle reproofs to see where those got them.

“Better,” he said with a nod. “Though far from appropriate, sub.”

Her eyes took on a fiery light. Yup, she really hated it when he called her that.

“Oh, yeah, I forgot. You’re the high and mighty Master, and I’m just the lowly cock-sucking sub.”

“Really? I don’t believe you’ve performed that particular service for me, yet. Perhaps I should order you down on your knees now, so you can demonstrate how good you are at it.”

Her hands started clenching and unclenching into fists at her sides. “I wouldn’t recommend it, unless you are looking to become a eunuch,” she muttered softly but angrily.

“Okay, young lady. You’ve had all the warnin’s you’re gonna get. So, drop ‘em.”

“Go to hell!” she shouted then whirled on her heel, but he caught her arm before she stepped out of the room.

Yanking both her arms behind her and holding them in his left hand, he began pulling down her slacks and panties with the other.

“Stop it! Let me go you big baboon,” she spat, fighting her hardest to get away from him.

“No, ma’am. Not until you remember your manners and apologize,” he informed her briskly as he drew her struggling form over his lap and secured her kicking legs.

“I will not– Ow, you moron!” she cried out with his first swat. “That hurt!”

“And your point is?” he asked bringing his hand down a second time.

“Let me up!” she demanded.

“Not until I’m good and ready to.” When he brought his hand down a third time she jerked, so he let her have another one, this one firmer and right on the junction between her thighs and seat, where he knew it hurt the most. She screamed out and started to cry, but continued to kick and struggle through her tears. “And right now, darlin’,” he said, delivering his fifth wallop to her terribly red-looking hindquarters, “I think you need a good, hard paddlin’ for your attitude alone!” That’s when the floodgates opened and she stopped struggling. Instead, she lay stomach down over his knee, with her top half stretched out on the sofa, and sobbed like her resources had been thoroughly depleted. Recognizing the unconditional surrender, Jim carefully drew her back into his arms and held her while she cried.

“I was scared!” she wailed after a minute. “I expected you to be here shortly after me, and when you weren’t here after an hour passed, I thought you’d changed your mind and weren’t coming at all.”

“Shh. I’m here now, darlin’. So, relax and lean into me. I’ve got you, and I’m not lettin’ you go anytime soon.”

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed, and he rubbed the back of her neck as he pressed her face into his chest.

“I know you are, sweetheart. You were upset, but didn’t want to appear weak and needy before me. Unfortunately, when you put up a front like that, you tend to get a bit snappy. So, in the future, give into your true feelin’s and run to me. I’ll catch you.”

“You don’t mind?” she asked with a sniff.

“Nope. I prefer it actually. So, let’s get you dressed and cleaned up, then we’ll see what we can do about dinner,” he said, helping her back on her feet. “I bet you’re hungry, too. Aren’t you?”

“A little,” she confessed wrapping her arms around his waist.

“Did you have lunch?”

“No….”

He tilted her chin up and gave her a quick kiss. “You need to eat regular meals, sugar, or you get cranky.” He bent down and pulled up her panties and slacks. “Now, go get some tissues and meet me in the kitchen.”

So, with her contentedly cuddled on his lap after they ate, he said, “I wanna continue our previous conversation, but before we do that I think you need to tell me what happened to you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you recall me askin’ that first day in the club what happened after you left the orphanage?” At her small groan, he added, “I think it’s time you told me that story.”

Her fingers immediately reached for the buttons on his collar, so he laid his hand over hers to calm them. “I believe I’ve earned your trust, darlin’. If you feel you still can’t confide in me, then I think we’ve got an even larger problem to address.”

She tucked her head under his chin. “It’s not that I don’t trust you–”

“Yes, it is, Kelly. You’re afraid I’m gonna pack up and leave if you tell me about your past. You don’t trust me enough not to desert you. So, the only way I know to get us past this is to have you tell me what you think is so awful, I won’t want to be with you after I hear it.”

He could feel the front of his shirt getting damp, though she made no sound. All the same, he lightly rubbed her back to reassure her. He wasn’t angry, but he was serious. If they couldn’t work this out, right now, all the protocol in the world wasn’t going to fix a broken relationship.

Despite being in the lifestyle for many years, submission clearly didn’t come easily for Kelly, and even if it meant she had to play with every button on his shirt, he needed her to talk to him. “Tell me now, Kelly. Or I’m gonna do the very thing you don’t want me to.”

Every muscle in her body stiffened with alarm as she drew back and regarded him warily. He carefully kept his expression neutral and waited. Finally, she ducked her head back under his chin and started talking.

“When they released me from the orphanage, they gave me a little money and a list of places they recommended to help me out. I didn’t have many skills to recommend me, and most places weren’t hiring. When my money ran out, my choices were limited to begging, thievery or prostitution, so I fell back on the age-old profession of women. Luckily, I wasn’t in it too long, and the guy who took my virginity was so drunk and rough, he didn’t even realize I’d never had sex before.

“I’d only been at it for a few hours, when my forth customer approached me. He looked like an older gentleman, but I knew what men wanted. So, after he paid me what I demanded for fifteen minutes, I took him to a dark alleyway and started lowering his zipper when he stopped me by placing his hands over mine and asked me how old I was.”