A Family for Christmas (3 page)

He
waited until she’d settled into her seat before sliding behind the wheel. Even though the Rover was a decent size, it felt infinitesimal being so close to the man who’d once promised her the world.

Rachel searched for something to say to break the unbearable silence between them while Jack didn’t seem to be in any hurry to put the vehicle in motion. He watch
ed
her silen
tly
.

“I was sorry to hear about your father. Michael told me,” she added when
his brown inched up and
the question appeared in his eyes.

A tick in time passed before he smiled and answered, “Well at least he talks to
you
about me. Michael refuses to tell me anything about you. I never knew what happened to you or where you went. Thank you...about my father, I mean. That’s very generous, considering.”

She nodded then looked away, grateful that he didn’t press the subject. Jack put the vehicle in reverse then left the parking area and merged into the afternoon traffic leaving downtown.

“Are you going home?” he asked and she found herself turning to look at him in surprise.

“I beg your pardon?”

“I asked if you wanted me to take you
home.
” It was almost painful-- this polite
ly
forced conversation between them now. So unlike the easy talks, the laughter they’d once shared.

“Oh...yes. I’m staying at Mom’s.”

“How is Liz anyway?”

She recognized Jack’s attempt at keeping the conversation on neutral ground and smiled. This was nothing like the Jack of old. Something had quieted in him. He wasn’t running full steam ahead, considering people’s emotions as an afterthought. Perhaps losing his father had softened the hard edges of the man he’d once been. 

“She’s good. She’s
going to be
spending a few days with Aunt Thelma before the holida
y
s
begin
.”
His
intense blue eyes focused on her once more, unnerving her for the moment.

“Is your husband here with you? I’m sorry I don’t know his name. I didn’t know he existed until a few minutes earlier.”

She nervously twisted her wedding band around her finger. This was the moment she’d hoped never to have to face with Jack. She could say the word and silence Jack’s curiosity for good, or she could tell him the truth. She’s learned a powerful lesson on how painful lies could be. She didn’t have it in her anymore.

“Sam passed away two years ago.”

Compassion softened the harsh edges of his voice. “
Oh, Rachel, I’m sorry. That must have been horrible.”
She knew he meant every single one of those words.

She accepted his condolences. “It’s okay. I’m all right. I was so blessed to have the time I did with him. I thank God every day for what we shared.”

He nodded absently. “Still, I’m sorry. That must have been hard to deal with.”

“It was. But I have my son. He’s been such a gift. He’s helped me through so much. I don’t know what I’d do without him.”

“You have a son?” Another surprising admission another painful look. “I guess there’s a lot I don’t know about your life, isn’t there.” It was a while before Jack spoke again. “Rachel about that night...I wanted you to know how sorry I was about what happened. I’ve wanted to tell you how much, well, how much I’ve missed…us.”

She closed her eyes at the admission. She wasn’t ready to hear his polite apology.

“It’s okay. You did us both a favor by ending our marriage the way you did. Neither one of us was ready to be married back then. We both know now it wouldn’t have worked out between us.” Rachel watched Jack flinch as if she’d struck him with those words.

For the rest of the ride back to her mother’s house, they were silent strangers. It was hard to accept what she once believed to be the love of her life was little more than a stranger to her now. She didn’t know this Jack. She certainly didn’t understand him.

He parked in front of her mother’s house and spotted her old beat up Mustang parked in the drive. 

“You still have her? She must have a million miles on her by now. We had some good times in that old car
, though
.”

Rachel was ready to walk away, her hand on the door
.

“Why were you driving Michael’s car anyway
?
”
he asked as if the thought had just occurred to him.

She turned to look at him. He seemed genuinely curious.

“Madeline needs a new battery. Michael’s going to help me put
one
in on later today.”

Where’s your son?” The question she’d known was coming was out there between them before she could get away.
             

Rachel cleared her throat.
“He’s over at Amanda’s playing with her son. I need to go pick him up so...thank you for the ride, Jack. It was good to see you again.” She tried her best to sound in control, but that little quiver in her voice gave it away.

“I can drive you, if you like.”

“That’s really not necessary.”

His gaze skimmed over her
face
. “I’d like to meet your son, Rachel. I still can’t believe you have a child. It seems like only yesterday that you and I were talking about having kids of our own one day.”

Rachel
too
remembered those talks as if they
were
yesterday.

She took a deep breath, let it go, and then
let go of her resistance.
“Okay.” She’d known eventually this moment would come, yet nothing truly prepared her for it.
“I’ll get Sammy’s car seat from Madeline.”

“I’ll help you.” He got out of the SUV
followed her to he
r
car.
Emotions she’d tried to bury inside for so long resurfaced when his hand brushed hers.
She was aware of him in a thousand different ways.

He
took the car seat from her and put it in the backseat
then
said something she didn’t grasp
as he got back into the SUV
.

“I’m sorry?”
She turned in her seat to look at him.

Jack’s gaze never left hers. “I asked where Amanda lives?” 

“Oh, I’m sorry.”
C
olor crept up her neck, forcing her to look
away
. “It’s just down the street, a few blocks over on Maple. You know where all the old Victorians are.”

“
A
lright.” Jack put the
SUV
in motion and they drove the short distance
without speaking
. Even before the car stopped in front of Amanda’s
place
, she could hear her son’s joyful squeals coming from the backyard.

“Momma!” Sammy heard the vehicle and ran through the gate with Amanda’s son Jason and Amanda following close behind.

Her son’s exuberance was contagious. Rachel forgot all about Jack close by. Seeing Sammy this excited it was easy to push aside all of her concerns about
his
health.

Rachel got out of the SUV and waited as Sammy ran into her open arms and she scooped him up, planting a kiss on his forehead.

“Hi,
b
aby. Have you been having fun?” When she set him back on his feet again, Sammy’s natural curiosity turned to the stranger standing next to his mother.

“Ye
s, we’ve been playing on Jason’s play scape. It’s cool.
Momma, who’s that man?”

Rachel tried to ignore the shock on Jack’s face as he looked at her son.

“Sammy, this is Jack. He’s an old friend of your Uncle Michael.”

Jack smiled down at
the boy
and quietly added, “And your mother’s friend as well.” He was
studying Sammy carefully. He
so close to guessing what everyone around her believed already.

Rachel turned to Amanda who was clearly surprised to see her with Jack. Rachel recognized every single one of the questions in her eyes.

“Amanda, you remember Jack?”

Amanda was quick to cover
up
her concerns. “Of course.” She gave Jack a quick smile then shook his hand. “I was so sorry to hear about your father. How are you doing?”

“I’m okay, I guess. It’s been hard. I got the flowers you and your husband sent. Thank you. That was kind.”

They stood together in awkward silence, uncertain what to say next, when Jack knelt in front of Jason.

“You have to be Amanda’s boy. You’re the spitting image of your mom.”

Jason, hiding behind his mother’s leg, nodded shy. Then Jack
turned to
Sammy.
He held out his hand. Sammy didn’t even hesitate before grabbing hold of it.

“It’s nice to meet you, Sammy. How old are you?”

Rachel took her son’s hand and answered for Sammy. “He just turned four. Honey, we should really get going. You need to take a nap.”

Sammy
took his
mother
’s hand
and they walked side-by-side to the SUV then he
turned and waved at his new friend.

As Rachel fasten
ed
the seatbelt
on the car seat
, Sammy chattered on about what he and Jason had been doing.

”Momma, Jason has two bikes. His mom said when I come back we can go riding.”

Rachel got in the passenger side next to Jack. She c
ould almost feel the tension escalating in him. She’d seen all the questions in his eyes. He had to be dying to ask them, but Jack had enough forethought not to ask them in front of Sammy.

“Momma,
when
can I come back to Jason’s?”

Rachel tried to ignore the strain in the man
beside
her. “We’ll see, honey.”

“Momma, can I have a cookie when we get home?”

“Maybe. We’ll see, but only one. You don’t want to spoil your appetite.”

“Ah, Mom.”

Rachel grinned in spite of herself. Whenever Sammy was unhappy with her he called her Mom.

Jack pulled up in front of her mother’s house and she got out and unbuckled her son.

“
You want a cookie?
” Sammy asked Jack unexpectedly in the hopes of keeping the man who’d captured his interest with him for a little while longer.

“Honey, I’m sure Jack has other things to do.”

“Are they your mom’s homemade Christmas cookies?” Jack clearly surprised Sammy by this revelation. Somehow, the boy managed to nod.

“Then I’d love one.”

“The
y’
re the best
.
” Sammy took the house key from Rachel and ran ahead to unlock the door. His new favorite thing to do.

“Honey, go wash your hands,” Rachel prodded when her son continued to stare in awe at Jack for a few more minutes. “Do you want a cookie or not?” Sammy rushed off to do as his mother asked.

“You’ve done a great job with him, Rachel. He’s a good boy.”

“Thanks. Would you like some coffee?” She didn’t wait to hear Jack’s answer. She needed something to keep her hands from trembling. The task of making coffee kept her busy and
avoiding Jack’s
questions until Sammy could return and fill the void with conversation.

Rachel was still
taking her time
prepar
ing
the coffee when Sammy came rushing back to grill Jack some more.

“Where do you live? What
’s that car
? What was Uncle Michael like as a kid?”

“Sammy,” Rachel scolded as she brought the plate of cookies over and allowed Sammy to have one along with a glass of milk.

With the bit of silence that followed as Sammy took a huge bite of cookie, Jack started to laugh. “It’s okay. Let me help your mom with the coffee and I’ll answer any question you want to ask me.”

For the next half hour, Sammy threw question after question at Jack, who never once faltered, while Rachel tried to pretend that she wasn’t comparing the older version of Jack to the boy she’d grown up idolizing.

“Momma, when are we
going to
the Trail Lights?”

“Trail of Lights, honey
and n
ot until tonight. And definitely not until you’ve taken a nap.”

“Ah, Mom.”

“You should do what your mother tells you to do. You don’t want to miss those lights. They’re a Texas tradition and you’re
part
Texan.”

Part?
The way he empathized the word, she knew he didn’t believe it for a minute.