A Family for Christmas (8 page)

“Momma, why don’t you like Uncle Michael’s friend?”

Rachel stopped walking and looked into his innocent eyes.

“Why do you think I don’t like him?”

“Because you were crying and I heard you arguing.”

She should have realized Sammy would pick up the anger between them. Somehow, she managed to keep her tone level. “Honey, we weren’t arguing. Not really. We were just having a little disagreement. It’s nothing for you to worry about, okay?”

When they reached Amanda’s house, Sammy spotted Jason standing at the back gate waving.

Sammy pulled his hand from hers and ran toward Jason just as Amanda walked through the gate.

“Hi there, you two. Come on back. Jason and I were out back playing. It’s such a beautiful afternoon neither of us could stand to be inside any longer.”

Rachel followed Amanda through to the deck and took the glass of lemonade she offered.

“Well?” Amanda waited until the boys were busy swinging.

Rachel knew exactly what she wanted to know. “Well, what?”

“Well, have you talked to Jack yet?”

“No.”

“Well, that won’t last. It’s only a matter of time. He’ll come around.”

“I know. I mean, what am I going to tell Sammy?”

Amanda covered Rachel’s hand with hers. “I know it can’t be easy. I hope you don’t mind, but I spoke
with my husband Brad
about the case. His specialty is family law.”

Rachel could tell from Amanda’s expression that the news wasn’t good. “What did he say?”

“He told me if Sammy is Jack’s son, then he will have a very good chance of getting joint custody. Brad says the courts are starting to lean more in favor of the father these days. Why don’t you and Sammy stay for dinner? Brad would like to talk to you a little further to get a feel for the case.”

“You think there’s a chance Jack could win full custody?”

“Rach, don’t get ahead of yourself. Talk to Brad. Let him go through all the options with you.”

Dear God, this was her worst nightmare. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost Sammy. I can’t even think about it.”

After dinner, Brad sent the boys off to play while he and Rachel went over the details.

“I hate to be the one to point this out, but Jack Bryant is a very influential man. You’ll have a fight on your hands, if it comes to that. Has he given you any indication that he might try for full custody?”

She shook her head. “No, we really haven’t talked about it.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, how do you even know it will come to this? Many parents share custody, even those living in separate states. Why not try and work things out between the two of you first? You could be worrying without reason. Maybe this could be a good thing for both of you.”

Forced into constant contact with Jack would never be a good thing. She couldn’t tell Brad that she’d never fully gotten over the pain of Jack’s rejection.

“Look, he seems like a reasonable enough guy and he hasn’t made any threats to you or Sammy, has he?”

“No, of course not. Jack’s not like that.”

“Then talk to him. What’s it going to hurt? I really think that’s the best recourse. Don’t you?”

“But what if he doesn’t agree to share custody?”

“We can deal with that if the time comes. In the meantime, get in touch with him. Try to work out some reasonable agreement between the two of you. Trust me, you really don’t want the courts involved in this thing, if you can help it. Because, frankly, you can’t always guarantee the outcome. I mean, you did keep the boy a secret from him for years. I don’t think they’ll look too favorably on that.”

Amanda shot her husband a scornful look. “Brad...”

“Talk to Jack. Try to work it out with him first. If we have to go to court, we’ll do it as a last resort. But in the meantime, Sammy will have to be told and soon. Before he overhears something from someone and gets hurt.”

“You’re right, I know, it’s just that it’s hard. He’s always considered my husband as his father. How can I explain to my son that isn’t the case?”

“Rachel, can I ask you a question?”

She knew what he wanted to ask. “I don’t know for sure if Jack’s the father.”

It was a moment before Brad answered. “I see. You know you’ll have to have a paternity test.”

Rachel couldn’t bear the thought of putting Sammy through that. “No. I can’t let that happen. He’s been through enough.”

Brad watched her sympathetically. “I know Sammy’s sick. Unfortunately, there isn’t any other way to determine paternity. Why don’t you call Jack first?”

“Yes. I’ll call him tonight after Sammy’s sleeping.”

“Why don’t you let Sammy spend the night with us tonight?” Amanda suggested. “He and Jason are getting along so well, I hate to break them up. I can bring Sammy home tomorrow.”

“Are you sure? I mean, I don’t want him to be in the way?”

“Are you kidding, we’d love to have him.”

And Sammy loved the idea of a sleep over, but Rachel wasn’t sure how she felt about it. It was the first time since his birth he’d been away overnight.

She walked home in spite of Brad’s offer to take her home. She needed time to think. Time to consider what she was going to say to Jack.

She was still trying to find the courage to pick up the phone and call him when he knocked on her door and the moment she’d been dreading for a long time finally arrived.

*****

“We need to talk.” She looked exhausted. Worried. And yet she’d never looked more beautiful to him. It had been almost impossible to stay away from her but he’d forced himself to give them both time. Not that he should have expected anything different. Things were always that passionate between them.

Rachel nodded and held the door open. “Yes, I know. Come inside, Jack.”

“Where’ve you been? I’ve been trying to reach you all afternoon.”

She turned and walked into the kitchen without answering.

His first reaction was
to be
angr
y
, but he squelched that feeling with difficulty. He was trying to be patient. Give her time to accept him back into her life and Sammy’s.

“Sammy and I went over to Amanda’s for a little while. Sammy’s spending the night with her son. You remember Jason, right?” she added in a rush when he stepped closer. She was as nervous as a cat. He had a feeling it had nothing to do with what they needed to talk about and everything to do with what happened between them the last time. Her reaction to him. His to her. The fireworks that was always there between them.

He certainly remembered it. The argument that led up to the kiss had kept him awake and reminded him of all the times he’d been desperate
to see her again
.

It left him feeling a little vulnerable and exposed. There was no denying Rachel had the ability to make him want
to move heaven and earth to make her happy,
but he couldn’t give in to that need again. Too many things needed settling between them first.

And he had a feeling she wasn’t going to discuss any of them willingly.

“Would you like some coffee?”

“Rachel...”

“It’s fresh. I just made it.”

Jack struggled to control his impatience. “Sure. Fine. Coffee it is.”

He took cups from the cabinet as he had so many times in the past with Liz during one of their heart-to-hearts.

Jack handed them to Rachel. Her fingers shook as she did the simple task of pouring the coffee. She splashed scalding coffee onto her hand. Rachel instantly dropped the cup and sent it shattering into a thousand pieces across the floor, along with the coffee.

Jack reached for her injured hand instinctively and held it under a cold stream of water. The contact between them became electric, crackling from her to him. He looked into her eyes and knew she felt it too.

She jerked her hand from his as if the contact between them was worse than the burn itself. She put a couple of steps between them, her breathing about as unsteady as her footsteps.

“Rachel.” He couldn’t disguise the frustration in his tone.

“I’m fine, it’s nothing. I’ll be okay.” She turned away, embarrassed. “
T
hat was one of my mother’s favorite cups.”

And just like that, she started to cry.

“
I
t’s okay.” He gently took her arm and guided her to one of the chairs. Rachel put her hands over her eyes to cover the tears.

Jack found the broom and cleaned up the mess, then went in search of something for the burn on her hand. Liz’s medicine cabinet was a virtual wealth of supplies.

“It doesn’t look all that bad.” He tried to be gentle as he dabbed ointment over the splash of red. “Here, let me get you some more coffee.”

She didn’t answer, which was okay. He needed time to regroup as well. He poured another cup, adding just the right ingredients from memory.

“Thank you
,
”
s
he finally managed to say.

“I know things have a tendency to get kind of out of control between us, but we have to try and get beyond that now. For Sammy.”

When she looked into his eyes, he hoped she saw his sincerity.

Something passed in hers before he could define it. Fear, perhaps.

Dear God, don’t let her be afraid of me.

“What do you want, Jack? Are you here to tell me you’re going to try and take him from me?”

That she would think that of him hurt as much as it surprised. “Rachel—”

“Because I’ll do anything, whatever you want, but I can’t lose him. He’s all I have. He’s my life. Please don’t take him from me.”

He looked away from her pain, moved by her passion. For a moment, the regret was hard to get beyond. “He’s my son as well. There’s no denying that. And I didn’t even know of his existence until two days ago. How do you think that makes me feel?”

She shook her head, her eyes pleading with him to understand. “I know it must be hard. I can’t even imagine how you must feel. How can I make you see that I was doing what I thought was best for Sammy?”

What’s best for Sammy? He didn’t think so. “No, you can’t imagine. You’ve been part of his life since his birth. I’ve missed out on all of that. So many things—”

“Would you have really wanted to know about him?” she asked wearily.

He didn’t even hesitate. “Oh course. How can you ask me that? He’s my son.” The anger was back. He knew they were close to arguing again.

Jack took a deep breath and tried to regain control of his emotions. “This is getting us nowhere. Sammy has to be told the truth, Rachel, and soon. I’ve missed far too much of his life as it is. I don’t want to miss a moment more. I think it’s best if I’m there when you tell him.”

“You don’t trust me—”

“No. I don’t trust you, but that’s not the only reason. You don’t think he might have questions for me. Like where have I been for most of his life?”

“I guess,” she managed at last. She seemed resolved to accept the inevitable.

“And what if he isn’t your son?
Have you thought about that?
There’s still the chance Sam might be his father—”

“I’m not likely to have forgotten how quickly you replaced me.”

He held up a hand when she would have argued the point. “You don’t really believe Sam is his father. Otherwise you’d be fighting me with everything you had.”

For the longest time he didn’t think she would answer. “No, but there’s still the possibility. I can’t let you break Sammy’s heart if you find out he’s not your son. It would kill him. He’s already lost one father.”

Jack dropped down into one of the vacant chairs. “There’s only one way to be sure—”

“No.” She rejected the idea before he even got the words out.

“Rachel...”

“
N
o. I won’t put him through that. Losing Sam was hard on him. I don’t want him to be put in the middle of our disagreements. He’s been through so much. Not now—”

“What are you talking about?” A myriad of emotions chased through him. Anger. Frustration. A fierce protectiveness that told him he’d do whatever necessary to make his son happy. Even if it meant losing the woman he loved. “Why not now?”

That she resented his claim on Sammy was easy to see. That she was lying was just as clear. “He’s been through so much,” she said at last. “I don’t want him upset during the holidays. Last year was hard enough with Sam gone. I want this Christmas to be perfect.”

He took her hand, somehow letting go of the anger. “We’ll figure out the right time to tell him together. When will he be home from Amanda’s?”

“I’m going to pick him up in the morning.”

“I’m going with you.”

“Jack—”

“I’m going with you, so get used to it. I won’t say anything until after the holidays and we know for certain, but I plan to be part of my son’s life with your cooperation or without. It’s up to you. I’ll stop by around nine to pick you up.”