Her chest felt as if it had been squeezed in a vise. Oh god. Why couldn’t she breathe?
It was over. It was really over.
A wail escaped from somewhere within her and with it tears. She pressed her fingers against her eyes as if she could stop them, but it was no use. She gave in and let them flow. When the sobs came, she buried her face into the pillow and released them. Deep, soul-shattering ones.
She hadn’t cried like this since her father died. She wished he were alive now. He had always known how to comfort her. He would have wrapped his arms around her and made her feel loved. He also would have hated Brian for breaking her heart. If only she could do the same.
* * * * *
She awoke with her eyes swollen and her head aching. She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. Last night wasn’t a dream. She wished it had been. The reality of what happened was harsher in the gray light of morning. She pushed herself up when she caught the rich scent of brewed coffee.
Someone was in her apartment.
For a brief moment she allowed herself to hope Brian had come over to fix things between them. But that was stupid. He wasn’t the type to chase after a woman, especially one who’d called him a coward. God, had she really said that?
She pushed him from her mind. She didn’t have the energy to dwell on it. Not after all the tears she’d already shed.
Ivy was the only person she could think of who would be at her apartment this early making coffee. She’d probably come over to check on her. Gen felt guilty for neglecting her for the last few months. Their friendship was a constant she had taken for granted. She couldn’t have been more grateful to have her now. She needed someone to lean on and she sure as hell knew it wouldn’t be her mother. Now that Brian was out of her life, Ivy was the only one she really had left.
She dragged her aching body to the bathroom and took care of business. Checking the mirror had been a huge mistake. She looked as bad as she felt.
On her way to the kitchen she noticed the extra pillow and blanket she kept in the hall closet were strewn across her couch. “Ivy?”
“In the kitchen.”
Gen wandered in and plopped down at the beat-up table. “You stayed the night? You didn’t have to do that.”
Ivy sat down offered her some coffee. “Yes I did.”
She willed the tears back and accepted the steaming mug. “Thanks. Did you get any sleep?”
Ivy rolled her shoulders and stretched her neck. “More than you likely did.”
Embarrassed, she took a small sip. “So you heard all that, huh?”
“A girl needs a good cry every now and again. But I have to admit, I contemplated going over there and giving him a proper arse-kicking.”
“I’d pay to see that.”
Ivy reached out and took her hand. “I’m so sorry he’s putting you through this. I was so certain…”
“Certain of what?”
“That he was in love with you.”
“Well he’s not. He made that very clear. There were times when I thought he was though. He’d do something thoughtful or take care of me in a way that made me feel it. Really feel it.” She put her hand to her chest. “But there were other times when he was so cruel it made me wonder if the rest of it was in my head. Honestly, it was like being with two different people.”
“It sounds to me like he’s either out of his mind or doesn’t know how he feels.”
“Maybe it’s both. I don’t know.” Gen put her coffee mug down with a groan. “What the hell am I going to do about work? I can’t afford to quit, but I don’t know if I can go in there and see him every day. It’s going to be hard enough…”
“You leave that to me. I think I can sort it out with Liam. We’ll change your schedule around so that you’ll see him as little as possible. On the nights we can’t, I’ll make sure you and I are working together and I’ll shield you as best I can.”
Tears threatened to surface again. “I don’t know what I would do without you, Ivy.”
“We’ll get you through this. I promise you that.”
God she hoped so because at the moment she felt completely crushed.
The days dragged on like months. Brian had expected life without her to get easier over time. Wishful thinking. Jared had invited him to Miami to stay for a while, throwing a new slave out as bait. Tempting as it was, his heart just wasn’t in it. He didn’t want a slave. He wanted her. Unfortunately he’d driven her away. She wouldn’t even speak to him now, not that he could blame her. He’d been a complete asshole.
It surprised him that she’d chosen to continue working for him. After that dreaded night two months ago he’d been sure she would quit. She hadn’t. Part of him wished she had. It would have been better for both of them. Even though she’d changed her schedule, avoiding him as best she could, it was still difficult for him to be at Donovan’s. He saw her around every corner, bent over his desk, breaking bottles of expensive whiskey.
There was no getting around it. He missed her.
Deciding to open another pub had proven to be exactly the distraction he needed. He’d been going over the costs and scouting locations in Tampa for weeks. Immersing himself in a new project kept him busy and away from her. It hadn’t stopped him from thinking about her though.
Tonight he was about do something juvenile and stupid. He’d come up with a weak excuse to drop by the pub. He didn’t really need to go over this week’s order. Liam was perfectly capable of that, but the lure of seeing Genevieve was more than he could stand. It was wrong and torturous. He just couldn’t help himself. He hadn’t set eyes on her in weeks. He needed to see her.
Apprehensive yet exhilarated, he went into the pub through the back entrance. What color would her hair be today? Would she smile at him or treat him with hostility? He was almost hoping for hostility. He missed that fire.
He headed out to the dining area in search of Liam. Genevieve was nowhere in sight. Damn. He shook his head. This was a pathetically new low, even for him.
Connor, one of the servers who often picked up bar shifts, rushed past him. He rounded the bar and went straight to work, setting up the service station.
“Shit, man, sorry I’m late. Ivy only called me an hour ago. I got here as fast as I could.”
“I thought Genevieve was on the schedule for tonight.”
Connor’s brows reached toward his shaggy blond hair. “Oh hell, she didn’t call you? Gen’s at the hospital. Something about a car wreck. Ivy called me to cover her shift.”
Brian’s world came to a screeching halt and for a moment he forgot how to breathe. “What?”
“Yeah, I guess it’s pretty bad. She said they had to call a chopper for her.”
Oh god, they had to fly her in? It was bad then. Really bad. Fear flooded his veins as images of Danielle’s lifeless body flickered through his mind like a bad horror movie. Not again. Fate couldn’t possibly be so cruel.
“You all right, man?” Connor’s concerned voice broke through his panicked fog.
“When?”
“I don’t know. Ivy didn’t say.”
“Why the hell didn’t you ask?” Brian barked.
Startled, Connor’s eyes widened. “Sorry. I didn’t think… She’s at Tampa General. You want me to call and see what I can find out?”
His heart stalled. Tampa? That was thirty minutes away. Why would they take her there?
Level I trauma unit.
Fuck. “I have to go,” Brian muttered as he all but sprinted through the kitchen and out the back door, heading for his car.
Connor followed him outside. “Call me and let me know how she is!”
Brian ignored Connor’s request as he slid behind the wheel. His mind was only on one thing—getting to Genevieve as quickly as possible. He peeled out of the parking lot and pulled directly in front of another car. The guy behind him laid on his horn. Brian didn’t care. He gunned the engine, weaving in and out of traffic, adrenaline fueling him. He hit a red light and almost considered running it, but he had to get there in one piece. He needed to be there for her in case…
“No! No! No!” he yelled, punching the steering column.
She couldn’t die. She just couldn’t. He wasn’t prepared to go through that again. He’d barely survived Danielle’s death and he hadn’t loved her half as much as he loved Genevieve.
He froze. Had that thought really just crossed his mind?
A car behind him honked, shaking him from his stupor. Noting the light had changed, he jammed his foot on the accelerator. He had to get to her.
He fucking loved her and now he might lose her for good.
This was exactly why he never should have gotten involved with her in the first place. No, that was wrong. He wouldn’t trade his time with her for anything. She’d made him feel alive again and he’d let her slip right through his fingers. All that effort to keep her at a distance and he was in exactly the place he’d tried to prevent anyway. He’d wasted so much time. What he wouldn’t give for a second chance. At least to say he was sorry and to let her know how he really felt. Faced with the realization he may never get that opportunity was almost unbearable.
Twenty-four hellish minutes later, he pulled into the hospital’s parking garage, cursing when he couldn’t find a space near the ground floor. He ended up parking near the top and racing to the elevators. Entering the lift, he willed it to go faster. Why the hell were these things so goddamn slow?
Don’t panic
, he told himself.
She’s probably fine.
He ignored the voice that insisted they didn’t fly patients who were fine to Level I trauma units.
Collecting himself, he entered the lobby and approached the reception desk.
“Can I help you?” the woman behind the counter asked.
“I’m here to see Genevieve Hawthorn. I believe she was flown in to the trauma center a little while ago.”
“Just a moment.” Her fingers flew across the keyboard, her brow knitting as she studied the screen. “Genevieve you said?”
“Yes,” Brian answered, irritated. “I’m Brian Donovan. She should have me listed as her emergency contact.”
“I’m sorry. I’m not seeing anyone admitted under that name.”
He was one breath away from snapping.
“Brian?”
At the sound of his name he turned to see Ivy hurrying toward him across the lobby.
“Where is she?” he demanded.
Ivy let out a weary sigh then turned toward the receptionist. “He’s here to see Emily Hawthorn.”
“What?” Brian asked, confused. Who the hell was Emily?
“Get your badge then come outside with me,” Ivy said, sounding tired. “We need to talk.”
He stood there for a moment, wondering if he should shake the information out of Ivy right here in the lobby, but thought better of it.
“Well, come on then,” Ivy urged.
He gave the receptionist his information, received his badge then followed Ivy out to the parking lot, bracing for the worst. “What the fuck is going on?”
Ivy ducked behind a tree and lit a cigarette. “What are you doing here?”
“Who the hell is Emily? Connor told me Genevieve was in the hospital. He said she’d been in a car accident. Why didn’t you call me? Is she okay? Please tell me she’s okay.” His voice cracked.
Ivy blew out a long stream of smoke, shaking her head. “Emily is Gen’s mum. She was the one in the accident. Not Gen.”
Brian almost collapsed with relief. He bent down for a second, covering his face with his hands, the sudden surge of emotions getting the best of him. She was alive.
She was alive.
He thought he’d lost her. He’d really thought she was gone.
“Are you okay?” Ivy asked, alarm raising her voice an octave.
“Yes.” Other than the last thirty minutes being the worst in his life.
“Oh god. You thought it was Gen… And you came rushing all the way here… You love her, don’t you?”
“Ivy, please,” he said, straightening and gathering his composure. “Just tell me what’s going on.”
Shooting him a nasty look, she took another drag. “I should tell you to piss off, but she needs you right now, whether she knows it or not.” She paused, dropping her cigarette to the ground and crushing it underfoot. “Has she told you anything about her mum?”
Brian grimaced,thinking back to the night her mother had hit her. “I know.”
“Let’s go in. I’ll fill you in as best I can on the way. An intern is sitting with her at the moment, but I don’t want to leave her for too long. I had to get out of there for a bit. I’m not fond of hospitals.”
He knew the feeling.
Ivy gave him the details as they headed up to surgery. She and Genevieve had already been waiting for nearly three hours. At first, they couldn’t get any information on Emily’s condition or what had happened. After the second hour, a doctor finally came out and talked to them. It seemed that Emily had veered into oncoming traffic and hit another vehicle. She’d suffered major head trauma and was currently undergoing surgery. They’d routed her to Tampa because the hospital in St. Pete was currently short on neurosurgeons who specialized in trauma cases.
Unfortunately, there was some speculation Emily had been drinking. They’d know for sure when the blood alcohol results came in. He wanted to be there for Genevieve when they did.
His heart ached for what she was going through. First her father, and now this. It didn’t seem fair. She’d been through enough tragedy in her short life.
Ivy stopped him before they entered the waiting room. He took advantage of the brief moment to steady his nerves. He hadn’t been in a hospital in eight years. The glaring fluorescent lights and antiseptic smell brought back a slew of awful memories. He locked them away, refusing to give in to the anxiety and emotion that came with them. Genevieve needed him. Now was not the time for his personal shit to surface.
“I’m not sure how she’ll react to seeing you,” Ivy began. “She’s really shaken up and she blames herself. She’s desperately trying to hold on to the smallest bit of hope. But I have to tell you, it doesn’t look good for her mum.”
Brian nodded. “I need to be here for her.”
“Good. Just be prepared. She may not want you here at first. You broke her heart. And if you ever do that again, I’ll rip off your bollocks and stuff them up your arse, understood?”
He deserved that. “Understood.”
* * * * *
In a daze, Gen listened as the surgical intern explained in detail what the surgeon had already told her. Acute subdural hematoma, pressure on the brain, surgery, possibility of severe brain damage, death… She couldn’t take it anymore and stood.
“I need a minute,” she said, unable to keep the panic from her voice.
“It’s a lot to take in. We’re doing everything we can for her. Doctor Ellis is an excellent surgeon. Your mother is in good hands. Would you like me to wait with you until your friend gets back?” he asked.
“No,” she said numbly. “I’ll be fine. Just keep me informed, okay? As much as you can. And don’t sugarcoat anything. I just…I want the truth, okay?”
He nodded grimly. “Of course.”
As soon as he left, she collapsed back into the chair. Memories of her dad’s emaciated body haunted her. She never thought she’d have to tread this road again. She hated it, the uncertainty of it all. The oncologists and nurses and their soft, careful words delivered with false smiles had changed to neurosurgeons and interns offering up the same crap. She’d never wanted to set foot in one of these places again, yet here she was.
We’re doing everything we can.