A Flower’s Shade (28 page)

In the middle of the night, Fourth Uncle woke up, and, bleary-eyed, asked Huaifu, who hadn't slept at all, "What I can't figure out is, Huaifu, who has your cousin chosen? You really have no idea?" Huaifu pretended to be asleep, he didn't want to answer Fourth Uncle's question. He couldn't stop thinking about the news that Miss Yu was expecting, and wondering—whose child was it?

X
iaoyun, a new birdcage in his hand, crossed the street in an idle manner, looking very much like some holdover from the dynastic era. He had switched his usual student's clothing for a long gown of black cloth, and was walking in a leisurely fashion. Beneath a small stone bridge he ran into Liangzhong, who was smiling from ear to ear. Liangzhong hailed him ingratiatingly, "Why, if it isn't Xiaoyun? Well, well; and what bird have you bought now?" Xiaoyun lifted the cage for him to see the bird hopping about inside it. "Not bad, that's a very nice bird." said Xiaoyun, having looked at the hopping bird for a little while. Then he said, casually, "Oh, Xiaoyun, did you know that we'll be in-laws before long?" Xiaoyun looked at him with displeasure, not understanding at first what meaning lay in those words.

The streets were crowded, and a little boy scrambled in front of the two men and ran towards the bridge. Next some female students came along, chattering and laughing as they walked. Liangzhong saw that Xiaoyun still hadn't grasped what he had meant, and was compelled to elaborate: "I'm marrying into the Zhen Estate, so just think, since your sister is their sister-in-law, then we're bound by kinship ties, aren't we?" Just as Liangzhong was saying that, an acquaintance came off the bridge and hailed Liangzhong. Liangzhong began an animated conversation with the man, saying, "Why, if it isn't Shuhong! I haven't seen you in ages, it looks like you've come into some good luck, have you? That's alright, you don't have to be shy with me."

The man called Shuhong answered, "Ha, you can spare your compliments. You're the one who's been in luck, that's clear enough. A certain Zha is marrying into a great family, and he's going to have no end of money. Don't forget your impoverished brothers!"

Xiaoyun had obviously suffered an intense shock, he stood there foolishly on the bridge, and watched Liangzhong swaggering about, warmly expounding, although he could no longer hear what he was saying it. Liangzhong laughed impudently, he was speaking unabashedly about his wedding to Miss Yu. This news was so unexpected, he stood foolishly there, half-believing, watching the beaming Liangzhong. Groups of random people were greeting him or saying goodbye to him.

After an hour, Xiaoyun was in Suqin's room, and saw the newspaper that Liangzhong had left behind. Only then did he truly believe in the wedding. He took up the brief report and read it over several times. When he was done, he could not suppress a bitter laugh. His laughter mystified Suqin, because she didn't know how much Xiaoyun knew of her relations with Liangzhong. Similarly, she herself was unable to form a correct judgment on how far things had gone between Miss Yu and Xiaoyun. When he had stopped laughing, he returned without comment to his own room.

When it was almost dark, Xiaoyun stormed into Miss Yu's room, his face pale with fury, and greeted Miss Yu, almost forgetting himself, "May I ask you a question—who is it that you intend to marry, after all?" This gave Miss Yu a fright, and she answered mischievously, "Who do you think I intend to marry?" Xiaoyun answered, "How do I know? I'm not a mind reader. Let me ask you again—all I want to know is, what on earth are you thinking?"

"You're asking me what I'm thinking?" Miss Yu was secretly observing Xiaoyun's expression with uncontrolled pride, "A smart man like you, how could you fail to know what I'm thinking?"

Xiaoyun yanked the newspaper from under his arm, and pugnaciously threw it at Miss Yu. At first she didn't react. She just glanced at the paper, and then looked at Xiaoyun's expression, wondering why Xiaoyun should get so angry for no apparent reason. She opened the paper, and flipped through it carelessly, chuckling as she looked at it until she saw the report about the engagement. It was quite obvious that she too was surprised, but then she quickly recovered her composure. Still, the smile on her face was not natural. "Where did this paper come from?" she asked, pretending to be relaxed.

Xiaoyun said, "All I want to know is whether what it says in this newspaper really true?" Miss Yu said, "If it is true—then what? And if it isn't true—well, then what?" This equivocal answer made Xiaoyun nervous, he couldn't bear for Miss Yu still to toy with him in this way. He was used to Miss Yu's caprices, but no matter how capricious she was, it shouldn't be about these kinds of matters. "If you really want to know, then fine. Prepare the opium for me, and when I've satisfied my craving I'll reconsider whether I ought to tell you or not." The more anxious Xiaoyun became, the more it entertained Miss Yu. She had indeed told Liangzhong that she intended to get engaged to him, and she had indeed once considered marrying him, but in her own mind all she had said was entirely a whim, entirely nonsense. She didn't want to be engaged to him at all, much less marry him.

Much against his will, Xiaoyun vaporized the opium pill for her. Miss Yu lay on the opium bed, the pipe her mouth, and slowly took a drag. "Xiaoyun, do you know why I like having someone blow the pipe for me?" It was obvious that Xiaoyun was in no mood to answer a pointless question like that, but Miss Yu felt that at a time like was really a marvelous opportunity to tease Xiaoyun. In the past, Xiaoyun had always had the upper hand over Miss Yu, and today she felt like deliberately making him squirm. "Let me tell you, and this is what my father said, a woman really must not smoke opium. Why? Because if she smokes, if she always has the pipe in her mouth, in the long term, her mouth will get crooked. A woman with a crooked mouth—what kind of man would take a fancy to her, am I right?"

As Miss Yu spoke, she put the pipe in Xiaoyun's mouth. In disgust, Xiaoyun turned his head away. "Xiaoyun, you're such a fool. Whom do you think I could marry? Do you think I'm going to marry someone who practically murdered my brother? Just think—who are you, after all. Of course, if you really want me to marry you, I could think it over." She spoke solemnly, and her words seemed to be only partly a joke.

Xiaoyun looked at her, only half-believing, as if he had been waiting all this time for her to speak those words. He ought to have thought of that before, for—just as Miss Yu said—how could she marry a man who had poisoned her brother, almost killed him? He was almost washed away in a flood of disappointment. "Then I must congratulate you." Xiaoyun said, trying to calm himself, but unable to prevent a shudder. Miss Yun looked at him, he had utterly lost his composure and couldn't control his voice; then she burst into laughter, "What are you congratulating me for? It doesn't matter to me, I don't care who I marry. It's just marriage, not even that; all it is, is the recruitment of a man for the Estate, right?"

"And the fact that you, my young lady, dragged me back from the pier, all that you said about marrying me, that was all just hot air, none of that counted." Xiaoyun couldn't bear it anymore, and he finally sputtered in anger, "Ah! I've really been too much of a fool, such a fool to believe you, a woman who blows hot and cold like you, to believe that you would marry me? Really, I have been such a fool, such a fool…" Miss Yu's expression suddenly turned to one of pain—no matter what, Xiaoyun had no right to speak so harshly. "So I'm a low woman, I blow hot and cold, do I? What else have you got to say? Yes, that's what I'm like, and what are you going to do about it? Who do you think you are, and what right have you got to speak to me in that way?"

Xiaoyun, infuriated, said, "Who am I? I'm no one. I'm no more than your ladyship's houseboy. I'm—let me tell you, if there's one thing that I, Yuan Xiaoyun, cannot stand—it's to be toyed with again."

Miss Yu felt a wave of tenderness deep in her heart, and she said airily, "Who says I'm toying with you? I'll marry whomever I want to, what does it matter to you?"

"What does it matter to me? You obviously know that I like you, you obviously know that I've fallen in love with you, you…let me tell you, you mustn't toy with me anymore, you mustn't! Do you hear me?" Xiaoyun had descended into a kind of frenzy, he could no longer hide his pain. "You obviously know that I love you, you shouldn't toy with me." As Xiaoyun spoke, he turned angrily away and left; Miss Yu seemed not to have taken any notice of the malevolent gleam in his eyes. By now, she was in no state to notice such things. In her amorous games with Xiaoyun, she had always been the instigator. Xiaoyun had never said he loved her, he had never said any such thing. Miss Yu said mischievously to Xiaoyun as he was leaving, "Hey, what if I want to toy with you, what can you do about it?" Xiaoyun had finally admitted that he loved Miss Yu, he had finally admitted it. Miss Yu was elated, she felt that she had finally thoroughly triumphed in this game of love. She had wanted so much to hear Xiaoyun say he loved her. Now she had finally heard him say the words.

M
iss Yu was grinding the ink herself, and as she ground it, she gave a private laugh. Ever since Xiaoyun had confessed his love for her, she was always giggling. The bright round moon was shining outside her window. Miss Yu took up her brush and laughed as she wrote on the stationery, paying careful attention to every stroke of the brush. Huaifu stood nearby and watched Miss Yu with a heavy heart. He didn't know what she was writing on the stationery. As the day of Miss Yu's engagement approached, Huaifu knew that that his days in the Estate were numbered. In these last few days, he still vaguely felt that there was something he ought to do.

Miss Yu was quickly finished, and she put the finished letter into a refined envelope before gravely sealing it. "Huaifu, have you sent the gift to Seventh Grandfather? It's imperative that he be there on the day." Having sealed the envelope, Miss Yu again examined it nervously by the lamplight.

Huaifu watched Miss Yu and said "I gave it to Fourth Uncle, for him to deliver." Miss Yu said, "Why did you do that? You ought to have delivered it yourself." Huaifu said, "I was worried that the old gentleman might not be willing." Miss Yu asked with solicitude, "What did Fourth Uncle say?" Huaifu swallowed. Then he stammered, "Fourth Uncle said, for an important thing like the young lady's choice of a husband, Seventh Grandfather was sure to come. But—"

"But what?" Miss Yu knew that Huaifu had omitted something, "Since he's coming, that's fine—but finish your sentence."

Huaifu did not continue, because he knew that although Seventh Grandfather was deeply dissatisfied with Miss Yu, the dissatisfaction didn't matter much, for in the end he would still come for the fun of the festivities. Seventh Grandfather's status could only be displayed in the context of such festivities. No matter how much he enjoyed getting on his high horse, he was also certain not to let such an opportunity pass him by. Miss Yu was worried that Seventh Grandfather might not come, but really she had no cause for concern.

Miss Yu and Huaifu went into the Great Hall together. All the lamps were lit, and the Great Hall was bathed in light. It was already rather late, and all the servants had gone to bed. The Estate was silent. Miss Yu held the letter in her hand, and raised her head to look at the peeling gilt characters inscribed on the wooden boards, hanging in the center of the Great Hall. She looked at it for a while and gestured for Huaifu to bring a ladder. Before long, Huaifu had carried a ladder awkwardly into the great Estate, and clumsily set it up. He took Miss Yu's letter, and climbed up to the top of the ladder, stretched out his hand, and according to Miss Yu's instructions, hid the letter behind the inscribed wooden board.

Miss Yu watched him with great amusement from below. The bamboo ladder creaked as Huaifu came slowly down, coldly observing Miss Yu's expression. Miss Yu was still looking with lively interest at the board. Huaifu waited for further instructions, but she seemed to be thinking only of what was concealed there. She gave a childish laugh, and didn't say anything for quite some time.

"When the time comes, all they'll have to do is open that envelope to know all about whom I've chosen to marry."

Huaifu looked at Miss Yu indifferently. He had guessed that this is how it would be, right from the beginning. Miss Yu's declaration only confirmed what he had already guessed. It was the kind of old trick one could only find in old stories from imperial times, but an eccentric spinster like Miss Yu was set on reenacting these dusty old stories. But dusty old stories cannot be repeated.

It was past midnight, and the moon was traveling slowly westwards. The lamp in Miss Yu's room was already out. Huaifu carried an unlit lantern, and amid a concert of croaking frogs, returned to the Great Hall. He fished out his matches, lit the lantern, set up the ladder once again, and then stealthily crept up it. When he had nearly reached it, he put out his hand and took out the letter. The frogs suddenly fell silent, and he looked around fearfully, but the frogs began to croak again a moment later. He removed the envelope and opened it quickly as he could. Under the swaying light of the lantern, he stared at the paper.

Huaifu dropped the lantern and it fell to the ground. The Great Hall was plunged into darkness. Without any light, Huaifu returned the letter to its envelope, and, his fingers trembling, once again put it behind the wooden board. Then he slowly descended the ladder. Outside the Great Hall, the moonlight was bright. Huaifu's eyes seemed already to have gotten used to the darkness.

Huaifu returned dejectedly to his own room where he sat like a black tower, motionless. Miss Yu's calligraphy, hanging in his room, floated like white streamers in the room's blackness, setting off the ghastly moonlight outside his room. He sat there as though he were in a mourning hall. Now he regretted deeply finding out a secret that he hadn't wanted to know, in any event Miss Yu was going to get married, and whom she married didn't matter, it no longer had anything to do with him. Suddenly, Huaifu slapped himself hard on the cheek, then he clenched his fist and punched himself on the head.