A Flower’s Shade (25 page)

O
n that sultry evening, Miss Yu smashed things in her room. Huaifu stood humbly on guard at the door, listening to the sounds of crashes and bangs inside. When the crashes and bangs finally stopped, the room fell silent. Huaifu entered the room uneasily and told Miss Yu that the water for her bath was getting cold, and urging her to go bathe. As soon as he went in, Miss Yu took some object at hand and flung it viciously at Huaifu. He beat a hasty retreat. At a moment like that, Huaifu had no option but to flee. Miss Yu was hysterical, pursuing him, hissing through her teeth, "Go away, go away, get lost, all of you!"

Huaifu returned humbly to his post at the door, Miss Yu was again alone in her room, smashing things, and only when she had raged to her satisfaction did she go into the bathroom. The water in the bathtub was already cold, Huaifu had Fourth quickly heat some more. Before long, the water was ready, and Huaifu changed the water for her himself. Fourth saw that there was nothing for him to do, so he stood around for a moment and then went back inside to sleep, mumbling as he walked. Fourth couldn't abide Huaifu's subservient manner.

Through the bath curtain, Huaifu was visible like the shadow of a paper cutout, carrying the pipe, blowing the smoke for Miss Yu. Miss Yu looked like she was asleep, reacting in no way to anything around her. Suddenly, Miss Yu rose, naked, from the bath. When Miss Yu had been in the bath, she had made Huaifu blow the smoke for her, but she had always waited until Huaifu was gone before getting up and putting some clothes on. This time she seemed to have forgotten all her anxieties and stood shameless and naked in front of him, her face covered in confusion. Huaifu was filled with fear and trepidation, he really didn't know what to do. He put down the opium things, snatched up a towel, and tried to dry her off. Miss Yu stood there like a block of wood, without any reaction to what Huaifu was doing. Huaifu fearfully rubbed the water off her body, and then clumsily helped her into some clothes.

Miss Yu went back to her room in complete confusion. It was late, and she saw all the things that she had smashed on the ground, and she stood their, looking blank and stunned. None of it seemed to bear any relationship to her. Her eyes drifted to Huaifu as though she didn't recognize him. Xiaoyun had given her too great a shock, the shock had been so intense that the spoiled Miss Yu could not absorb it. She couldn't imagine that Xiaoyun would do such a thing, she just couldn't get it through her head. Huaifu stood nearby, his head hanging. Miss Yu said to herself, "Xiaoyun, what did you do that for, what did you do that for?"

Huaifu stood awkwardly by. So Xiaoyun had himself readily come out with the secret of the poisoning, which Huaifu could never have expected in his wildest dreams. Before Ai'ai committed suicide, this was the secret that she had told him, and from then on, Huaifu—uncertain of the truth—had been unable to come to a decision about whether or not he ought to reveal the secret to Miss Yu. The secret was too terrible, Huaifu didn't know how to make Miss Yu believe that he wasn't telling a lie. Perhaps it would have been useless to tell her. One thing was beyond doubt: besides Xiaoyun's own confession, nothing could have made Miss Yu accept this intolerable fact.

"Xiaoyun, you're a lowlife, you're a nothing, a pointless lowlife!" Miss Yu was behaving like a child, and suddenly she burst out in a great wail.

Huaifu was at a loss, he fished out an embroidered handkerchief and passed it to Miss Yu. He felt like he ought to speak a few words of consolation to her, but he didn't have any idea where to start. His own position was really too delicate. Miss Yu couldn't do without him, but her treatment of him was barely human. He knew that Miss Yu did not hope for him to say anything. He knew that at this moment Miss Yu didn't really need him at all. In fact, in all the time that had passed, all of Miss Yu's emotions had been for Xiaoyun, she really had fallen in love with him. Unreasonably, she had fallen in love with Xiaoyun, just as Huaifu had unreasonably fallen in love with her. Once a woman has truly fallen in love with a man, many things become unreasonable.

The more Miss Yu cried, the more despondent she become. She had always taken advantage of other people, she had always been the victor, but this time she had thoroughly lost, and she had lost in the bitterest way imaginable. So she had fallen in love with a man who was not worthy of love, had fallen in love with such a sinister, such a villainous man. Things could not end in such a simple way, Miss Yu was determined to exact revenge, she would not spare him so easily. Xiaoyun had injured her so badly, the more she thought of it, the more injured she felt, the more she wanted to cry, and when she was finished crying she fell asleep like a child, the tears still on her cheeks.

Filled with love, Huaifu looked at Miss Yu, sound asleep. His heart seemed full to the bursting, and he felt like something stuck in his throat. The sleeping face he saw, with the tears on its cheeks, quiet as a child, seemed to him to be absolutely innocent, pure. He had complex feelings, for in a way he was pleased by the disaster, and yet felt deeply for Miss Yu. What would come next was a question Huaifu didn't dare to pursue.

Miss Yu was still sobbing in her dreams, her lips smacking in distress repeatedly, she was murmuring something…

Huaifu stretched out his hand, it seemed like he meant to wipe away Miss Yu's tears, but in fact he was just gently stroking her cheek. He stopped and kissed her, but he didn't dare go on, he was afraid of waking her. To face Miss Yu quietly, up close, was such an incredible joy to him. That was more than enough to satisfy him. He was afraid Miss Yu would wake suddenly. He knew that as soon as she woke, this little morsel of incredible joy would fly away like a bird.

I
n the Great Hall, her clothes in disarray, Miss Yu was sitting gravely in an imperial-style armchair. She was waiting for Suqin to arrive. Since the day of the suitors, Miss Yu hadn't entered the Great Hall, she didn't like its emptiness, or the way it expressed authority. When she had been very small, Miss Yu had formed a fixed idea that the Great Hall was for the discussion and decision of great matters. The Great Hall was a solemn, awe-inspiring place.

Suqin pushed Naixiang in his wheelchair, following Huaifu, her heart heavy as she passed through the walkway on her way to the Great Hall. As she walked, her heart race. Ai'ai's suicide had caused an enormous change in the tranquil life of the Estate; Xiaoyun had immediately moved out and was staying on the outside. Although he had said nothing to her, there could be no doubt that he had brought on the disaster. Suqin knew that something had gone wrong, and as she entered the Estate, her guilty conscience prevented her from looking at Miss Yu.

Miss Yu said, "Today, with my brother present, I just want you to enlighten me on a certain subject. Sister-in-law, what really happened to my brother and made him the way he is today?"

Suqin blanched in shock, but the question was expected; when Huaifu had come to fetch her, she had guessed that she would face this question. She knew Xiaoyun's personality, he always held his word; having revealed that he would disclose those past events, nobody could have prevented him. As soon as Xiaoyun and Miss Yu had begun their affair, this matter had been a source of worry. At present, Suqin had no choice but to pretend she did not know what was meant, and looked at Miss Yu.

Miss Yu looked coldly back at her. "What's happened to your precious brother?" She turned to Huaifu, standing foolishly nearby, and sneered, "He got scared and ran away, of course he has, he doesn't dare to stay in the Estate. Having done what he did, I'm not surprised he didn't have the guts to stay. Huaifu looked awkward; neither nodding nor shaking his head seemed advisable. Although he was supposed to manage Estate affairs for Miss Yu, he understood that this was no time for him to put in a word. He didn't know what plan Miss Yu had hatched, but he knew that after so many years, it was unlikely that Miss Yu would file a police report. After all, ten years had passed, and unless Xiaoyun confessed, nothing could be done in any event.

"Sister-in-law, you needn't try to deceive me, Xiaoyun's told me, and since he dared to tell me about it, what's the point of trying to cover up for him?" Miss Yu looked at Naixiang's stiff, ridiculous expression, and grew flustered. Even now, she couldn't entirely believe that Xiaoyun had told her the truth, "Xiaoyun wouldn't talk nonsense about such a thing, I know it's hard to believe, but…"

Terrified, Suqin looked at Miss Yu. With things as they stood, what difference did it make if she spoke? She didn't want to keep up the pretense. "Dear sister…" Her eyes turned to Huaifu. She didn't dare continue, since there were things that were obviously inappropriate for Huaifu to hear. Miss Yu saw in her eyes what she was thinking, so she turned and waved Huaifu away, saying, "Hey, go away, this is none of your business."

Huaifu walked off, overcome with a feeling of loss. He was no more than a dog to Miss Yu, you could whistle him over, then chase him off. That was his special place in the Estate, Miss Yu never treated him like a human being, nor did he ever treat himself like a human being. Reaching the door, he took a few more paces, but then couldn't help turning back and standing outside the door to eavesdrop. He already knew enough secrets, but he wanted to know some more. In this Estate, he had already played the part of the eavesdropper countless times, so one more time didn't matter.

Now only Miss Yu and Suqin were left in the Great Hall along with Naixiang, motionless as a wooden sculpture. "All I want to know is the truth of the matter, I want to know, why did Xiaoyun do this to my brother?" It seemed that Miss Yu could no longer tolerate Suqin's silence, "My brother may have had a thousand faults, ten thousand faults, but nothing can justify it. You must tell me, you must tell me, how did this hatred between them come arise?"

Suqin seemed about to speak, but kept her peace in the end.

Miss Yu was obdurate, "I am determined to find out the reason today."

Suqin's pale face blushed red, then blanched again. The terror on her face was finally replaced by despair. With things as they stood, it didn't matter whether she spoke or not. She ground her teeth and shivered, and pointed at Naixiang in his wheelchair, saying recklessly, "If you really want to understand it, sister, I'm afraid you'd better ask your brother. That's right, make no mistake, my brother may be precious enough, but you'd better ask your own precious brother first; can it be you don't know what your brother is?" The floodgates of memory had opened, the past had welled up, and Suqin stared at Naixiang's stiff, ludicrous face, going on in hesitant starts and stops.

Suqin recounted Xiaoyun's history when he had just entered the Estate, recounted those events of which she would rather not have spoken. Since their parents had died when Xiaoyun was only a child, he had lived with Suqin. As a small boy,, he had been clever and endearing, he had thought it looked like fun to vaporise the opium, so he began to pick it up, and before long he had become very good at it. For a time, Naixiang had been very fond of Xiaoyun, and had especially liked him to prepare the opium. So he had begun to order him about like a houseboy. The experience of having been a houseboy had become a lifelong humiliation for Xiaoyun. That was why, in his encounters with Miss Yu, he always had the word houseboy on the tip of his tongue.

By the time Xiaoyun realized that he had become a houseboy and wanted to put an end to it, it was already too late. Naixiang was something like a demon king of the Estate, and he stopped at nothing. If they upset him, he might divorce Suqin; then Xiaoyun and his sister would have suddenly been nobodies, without a penny to their name. Xiaoyun was dependent on the Zhens, and in order to remain on the Estate, he had to submit to Naixiang's despotic power. Miss Yu had long known about her brother's and her father's shameless debauchery, and she had herself personally caught a glimpse of it. But she was completely ignorant of what Naixiang had done to Xiaoyun. She couldn't bring herself to believe that Suqin's words were all true; nor could she disbelieve them.

"Before sleeping with a woman, your brother always had a few puffs of opium. If anyone else vaporized the opium, he felt like it wouldn't be good enough, and so he always wanted Xiaoyun to do it for him. One time, your brother brought a whore he knew back home with him. She was a fat woman, all flesh, and suddenly she said to your brother, 'Hey, Naixiang, the little fellow who vaporizes for you—he's quite a good little looker.' And your brother said, 'Why, did you want to have some fresh meat? I won't stop you if you do…' At that time, Xiaoyun was only a little over fifteen, and before he really understood what was going on, she had him pinned beneath her. He struggled, but your brother, without any hesitation, went right up to him and tore off his pants…"

At this, Miss Yu stared in astonishment. Her gaze shifted to Naixiang, whom she looked at helplessly. His imbecile expression was the same as always, as though the things Suqin said had nothing at all to do with him. Outside the Great Hall, Huaifu had pricked up his ears and was also eavesdropping with great concentration. There were things that Huaifu couldn't possibly understand immediately, since it involved a great many people and things that belonged to the past. It was exhausting to eavesdrop, for he had to work hard to understand what was going on. Suqin was talking in the Great Hall with great excitement. Her voice would rise and fall suddenly; sometimes she seemed to be speaking through clenched teeth, at other times tenderly whispering. As the angry curses and the sorrowful account flowed together, her story sometimes became very fluent, while at other times it came out in stops and starts. She was telling a soul-stirring story, a story of murdering and being murdered. When Suqin was done, the Great Hall fell into an unimaginable silence. Utter quiet, a suffocating silence.

M
iss Yu could not picture Xiaoyun mixing the poison into the opium. She couldn't picture him tipping some white powder out of the snuff bottle, and under Naixiang's very eyes, calmly mixing the powder into the opium pill. And the arrogant Naixiang had been oblivious to the impending danger, all of his thoughts concentrated on that corpulent whore. Filled with loathing, Xiaoyun had mixed the pill of vengeance, while Naixiang, chuckling, had stretched out his hands to slap the woman on her upraised behind—that was to become Naixiang's last memory. Naixiang put the pipe into his mouth, and began to blow smoke. In the blink of an eye, the fat whore was dressed in nothing more than a red slip. The smoke was curling and a look of bewilderment appeared on Naixiang's face. This time, Xiaoyun had not, as usual, quietly left. He had stood nearby and watched coldly as Naixiang's expression grew stiffer and stiffer. The fat whore stretched out her hands and waved them back and forth in front of Naixiang's face. Realising that he was not pulling her leg, she let loose a hysterical scream. The muscles of Naixiang's face were gradually setting.