Authors: Ann Somerville
Tags: #m/m, #gay romance, #M/M-romance, #fantasy, #fluff
He was up before Leo, unusually, but as he
put the kettle on, Pyon on his shoulders and yawning in his ear, he heard a
thin, anxious wailing. He turned, his blood running cold—the last time he’d
heard that sound, it had been Linis, panicking over Zachary. Only it wasn’t
Linis—it was Nuji, in distress, running back and forth between the kitchen and
the bedroom door, and crying. Julian bolted to the bedroom, and found Leo half
out of the bed, clearly weak and confused. Asking him what was wrong only got
slurred gibberish.
Stroke,
Julian realised, his heart thudding with fear.
He helped Leo lie back on the bed. “Wait,
I'm calling an ambulance. Lie still. Nuji, stay with him. Pyon, look after
Nuji.”
He dialled the emergency number from the
bedroom phone. Leo’s eyes were shut, but one hand moved restlessly on the
covers. Julian knelt to feel his pulse—it felt too fast to him, but he didn’t
know what that meant. He gave the information to the controller who assured him
help would be with him soon.
“Hold on, Leo. Everything will be fine.”
Please let it be
fine.
He had time to dress before the paramedics
arrived. He gave them a quick history while they checked Leo over, put him on
oxygen and then they placed him on a gurney to transport him. Nuji disappeared
with a quiet squeak, which scared the hell out of Julian until he realised Leo
hadn’t suddenly died.
“You can ride in the ambulance,” one of the
paramedics said. “If you need a lift.”
“I’ve got a vehicle and I know the way.
I’ll meet you up there.”
He ran all the way to Zachary’s building
and the car, and then drove as fast as he legally could up to the hospital.
When he arrived, Leo was already being seen by a doctor.
“I'm Mr Underwood’s PA,” he told the
receptionist. “His only close relative is a patient in this hospital—I'm
assistant to both of them,” he lied—well, sort of.
“Then perhaps you can fill out the
paperwork while we wait for the assessment,” she told him. “Take a seat.”
Pyon appeared, making worried little
squeaks as Julian tucked him into the crook of his arm, and started on the
form. A few seconds later, Nuji ran in, wailing, his tail drooping and sad.
Pyon jumped down and began to lick and groom the distressed kem until Julian
picked them both up for a cuddle.
“What is it with this family?” he asked,
not expecting an answer. Zachary had been bad enough—but Leo too? And how would
he tell Zachary if Leo…if something bad happened to Leo?
He just couldn’t bear the thought. He
forced himself to concentrate on the forms, glad he’d taken over enough of
Leo’s affairs to be able to help to this degree, but aware that he didn’t
actually have the authority to make decisions for him. Zachary would have to,
if it came to it. He hoped it wouldn’t.
It was more than two hours before a nurse
came to find him, and took him to meet the doctor. “We’re admitting Mr
Underwood for observation,” the doctor told him. “We think he’s had a mild
stroke—what we call a transient ischaemic attack. It’s fortunate you summoned
help so fast—it’s made a difference.”
“Will he get better?”
“Most likely, yes. However the main concern
is that he could be heading for a worse stroke, so we want to assess him and
see if he needs further treatment before we release him. The odds are good that
we can head off a further attack, however. He’s in good health for his age,
doesn’t smoke or have heart trouble. The main risk factor is his age.”
“And stress? He’s been under a lot of stress
lately.”
“That won’t help, certainly.”
Julian gritted his teeth. “Can I see him?”
“In a little while. We’re just setting him
into the cardiac ward. Mr Underwood has given authority for you to receive full
details of his medical treatment so you’ll be treated as a relative when you
come to visit.”
“His nephew’s a patient here too.”
“So I understand. Will you let him know or
do you want our staff to tell him?”
“No, I will. Tell Leo…Mr Underwood that
I’ll be back soon with his overnight gear and not to worry about anything.”
Nuji gave a little meep just then and
disappeared. The doctor saw Julian’s expression. “He’s fine—his kem’s just
going back to him as is normal. You got Mr Underwood here in time. Go do what
you need to and you can see him later.”
Julian nodded and the doctor walked off. He
couldn’t decide what to do—go back to the apartment and come back or see
Zachary first?
Zachary
, he decided. He needed to know about this—Leo was his only
relative, after all.
He found Zachary staring moodily into
space, his laptop switched on but ignored. Linis whined and came over for a
petting, which earned him a glare from his host. “Where’s Leo? I thought you
weren’t coming here any more.”
“Leo is in the cardiac ward. He had a
stroke, most likely caused by all the worry over you. So pull in the attitude,
Ledbetter, I don’t need to hear it.”
Zachary’s eyes widened. “S-Stroke? When?
How is he? What happened?” He sat up with difficulty. Julian didn’t bother
helping him—he wasn’t in a helping Zachary kind of mood.
“It happened this morning. They say it’s a
minor stroke, but they’re worried about a bigger one so they’ve admitted him.”
“Can they treat him? Will he get better?
Will he…is it going to happen again?”
“I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know.
What I do know is that they think the two biggest risk factors are his age and
stress. And guess who’s been the main cause of stress for the last month?” He
folded his arms and looked at Zachary with distaste.
“I didn’t ask to be hit by a car, and I
tried to get him to go home.”
Zachary’s eyes were as chilly as Julian had
ever seen them but they didn’t do a damn thing to intimidate him.
“The accident wasn’t your fault. Your
attitude is. You’ve been a prize bastard to him ever since he turned up, and
now he’s sick. I hope you’re happy. Maybe he’ll die and then you won’t have to
worry about anyone visiting you any more.” His breath caught in his throat at
the idea of Leo really dying, and he had to turn away so he could wipe his
eyes. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t
fair.
“I don’t want him to die. That’s vile of
you.” Zachary’s voice was little more than a whisper. “He’d hate you for saying
that.”
“Maybe but someone needs to. He’s
seventy-eight years old, and he’s been coping with your tantrums and your bad
moods and your refusal to cooperate all this time. It’s driving him nuts. And
now he’s sick.”
Julian turned, another snappy comment on
his lips, but it died when he saw Zachary’s bleak expression.
“I—”
Zachary cut him off. “I didn’t want him to
get sick. That’s why I wanted him to go home. I knew something like this could
happen. I
told
you I could manage
without him or you, but no, you wouldn’t listen. So maybe you’re the one who
wanted him to die.” He bit off each word as if it was poison in his mouth.
“I didn’t! I…I really like him, a lot. He’s
kind of become family. I know why he couldn’t go home while you’re in here. You
wouldn’t understand that kind of loyalty.”
“And you wouldn’t understand my wish to
keep my only living relative safe and sound, would you. You assume that knowing
him a month makes you a better nephew than me. Go ahead,
claim him. Leave me with nothing and no one if that
makes you happy. Now get out—I need to find my uncle and see him for myself.”
He reached for the nurse’s bell, glaring with reddened eyes at Julian. Even
Pyon jumping down to cuddle with Linis at the foot of the bed, didn’t soften
his expression. “I said, get out.”
“No, wait. I'm not trying to steal him from
you. You’ve been pushing him away. You push everyone away, me included.”
“Considering your behaviour now, why
shouldn’t I? Do you want me to have you thrown out?”
“You think Leo would want you to do that?”
A nurse came to the door. “Yes, Zachary? Is
there a problem?”
The man turned down the glare to merely
haughty as he spoke to the nurse. “My uncle’s had a stroke and has been
admitted here—is there any way I can visit him?”
“Let me find out. I'm sorry to hear about
Mr Underwood.”
The nurse ducked out again. Zachary stared
over at the window, avoiding Julian’s eyes. “I want you to leave.”
“I want to talk to you about this.”
“I don’t. This is a family matter now.
You’re not family. Just go away and leave us both alone.”
Stung, Julian picked Pyon up, who protested
at the abruptness, and stalked out, his face hot with anger. No, he wasn’t
family. But if Zachary was all Leo could count on, then Leo was in a bad way.
He sat in the car, fuming, worried,
wondering what he should do. But finally he decided that while Zachary could
make decisions for Zachary, he couldn’t make them for Leo—and Julian really was
Leo’s PA, for however long that lasted. So he’d be a good PA and look after the
old guy, until Zachary managed to persuade him that Julian wasn’t family enough
to be bothered with.
Back at his apartment, the paramedics had
left a mess—not surprising, since they were a little busy saving Leo’s
life
—so Julian tidied up the litter of
packets and plastic, now feeling rather numb and helpless. What if Zachary got
him banned? What if he turned Leo against him? What if Zachary decided to go
further to remove Julian from his life? He could have him fired—even what
Julian had said today would be more than enough for him to do that.
Pyon mewled and twisted in his arms—he
wanted to climb up to Julian’s shoulder so he could lick his ear. “At least I
still have you, right?” Pyon chirped happily but Julian felt his eyes filling
with tears. What a mess.
He left it for two hours before he called
the hospital. Leo was now settled in and expecting him, he was told. That took
the decision out of Julian’s hands. Even if Leo only wanted to tell him to get
out of his and Zachary’s life, Julian had to let him do that in person.
He took a taxi up to the hospital, feeling
that he shouldn’t use the car when it was just him,
and when maybe he didn’t have the right to use it all any more. He asked for
directions to the cardiac wing, and found Leo dozing in a small ward with two
other patients. As he approached, Leo opened his eyes and smiled, a little
crookedly.
“Julian,” he said, and Julian was relieved
beyond measure that the earlier garbled speech had disappeared. Leo’s voice
still sounded a little slurred, but it was much better than Julian had dared
hope. He looked normal, weary, maybe a touch pale. Frail,
certainly. But not
dying.
Leo reached out a hand and Julian took it.
It shook a little, and there was less strength in Leo’s grip, but he could
still move his hand. He wasn’t paralysed.
“I was so worried,” Julian
said, his voice choking.
“Me too. Frightening.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Tired. Worried about you. You look
dreadful.”
“I feel…God, Leo, I thought you were going
to…” He bowed his head, and bit his lip. Relief and sadness overwhelmed him.
Leo wouldn’t die today. But he still might do, and he was still Zachary’s
uncle.
Leo patted his head. Then Julian heard a
meep, and then Nuji jumped onto his lap, making Pyon squeak excitedly. The two
kems embraced like long-lost brothers. “He missed his friend,” Leo said.
“Yes, maybe he should get used to it.” He
looked up, rubbing his eyes quickly. “I saw Zachary. We, um…”
“Yes, he told me,” Leo murmured. He held
his hand out again for Julian to take. “He said you were very rude and accused
him of wanting me to die.”
“I did. I didn’t mean…I just felt he…hasn’t
been very thoughtful.”
“No. He hasn’t been. I told him the same
thing.”
“Oh. What did he say?”
“Not very much. He asked me to dismiss you,
tell you to go back to work, and for me to move into his apartment. I told him
he was a bloody stupid young fool and I would do no such thing.”
Julian blinked away the tears. “Really?”
“Yes, of course. I love Zachary but he’s
the last person I want rearranging my personal relationships, especially with
people I’ve become so fond of.”
Julian pressed Leo’s hand to his cheek, not
caring that he was getting it wet. “I thought…he said I wasn’t family. I'm not
but I still…care a lot and…if you died…Leo, if you died, I’d be…” He broke
down. It had been too much, this morning, with Leo and then Zachary.
Leo patted his shoulder. “My dear, dear
boy, I'm not going to die. Not yet anyway. The doctors here are almost
embarrassed to have me in here, I'm in such rude health.”
Julian laughed and then sniffled, scrubbing
at his face with his hand.
“Look at me, Julian.” He obeyed, and found
Leo regarding him with a kind expression. “I can honestly say that nothing
Zachary does or says will ever make a difference to my friendship with you. I
want you to know that, believe it. Will you?” Julian nodded. “Good. I'm sure it
got a bit fraught—Zachary was very upset too, and not just on his own behalf.
He does care. He’s just terrified—of being abandoned, of being lonely, of
losing those he loves. And the truth is…at my age, I
can’t offer him the reassurances he needs. One day I won’t be around any more.
I lie awake at night sometimes and wonder how will he cope, all alone and so
unwilling to let anyone come close to him. He’s such a good man, Julian, but so
very, very frightened of being hurt again. The world hasn’t been kind to him,
and he doesn’t trust it.”
“But he makes it worse than it needs to. I
want to be his friend and he pushes me away. He wanted to send you away. It’s
like he can’t see the connection.”
“He probably can’t—or can’t allow himself
to. I’ve let him down, I know that.
I could have been closer, tried harder, but I let him move away, and then I
settled overseas, never thinking that I could have made a difference, when I
could and should have. I don’t know how many years I have left to me, but I'm
going to change things now. I'm going to live in this city, be close to him,
even if he pushes me away. I won’t let him be alone when I can be there.”