Authors: Johanna Lindsey
J
amie took a swig of ale, bracing himself against the turn in the conversation to his right. Colen and Alasdair MacDonough had warmed to their subject, and Jamie started to interrupt, but too late. At Colen’s prodding, Alasdair admitted why he had broken his betrothal to Sheena. Colen’s face reflected disbelief, then understanding, and finally humor. When Colen burst out laughing, it was more than Jamie could bear.
“I’m thinking you’ve said enough, MacDonough.” Jamie’s tone was sharp, surprising the older man.
“Och, Jamie, you dinna mean to say you’ve told no one of that time, not even your brother?”
“Never mind,” Colen interjected. “I’m wanting to hear more of Jamie’s stay at Tower Esk.”
“Nay, lad, you’ll have to hear that from your brother,” Alasdair replied uncomfortably.
“Well, Jamie?”
Jamie was scowling. As if enough wasn’t going wrong with his life, he also had to contend with his brother’s humor.
“There’s nothing to tell, Colen. I met with Fergusson hospitality is all. Leave it be.”
“In their dungeon?” Colen grinned. “And needing a lass to help you escape?”
Jamie’s mien got even darker. “’Twas only fitting she aid me, since ’twas her fault I was there to begin with.”
“But to end up in a Fergusson dungeon, Jamie?” Colen shook his head mockingly. “You must have been badly smitten even then, to play the fool so well.”
Jamie nearly exploded, but his brother-in-law Ranald Keith had overheard and clapped him on the back. “What is this about a Fergusson dungeon, lad? Is that where you met your bride, then?”
Jamie glared at his brother. He quickly told the humiliating story, except for the part Niall had played, for he was still obliged to protect the lad. More humor was had at his expense, Colen delighting in all of it.
“She risked a great deal to avoid marriage to you, Jamie,” Ranald said thoughtfully. “And yet she’s wed to you after all. ’Tis no wonder the poor lass willna come down to celebrate her wedding.”
“I wouldna call her a poor lass, Ranald Keith.” Thais stuck up for her brother. “She’s lucky to be having a man as fine as Jamie.”
“So
you
think,” Ranald retorted to his wife. “But what does she think, eh?”
“Aye, Jamie,” Colen asked, serious then. “What does she think—now?”
Jamie sighed. “I could’ve sworn you werena going to hold a grudge, Colen. Are you still bitter over losing her?”
“No’ bitter, Jamie,” Colen replied. “But I did warn you no’ to hurt her.”
“And you think I have?”
“What happiness has she had since she wed you?”
Jamie smiled ruefully, remembering. “I’d like to think she had some, if only for a little while.”
Colen reddened, understanding perfectly. “That is no’ the answer to happiness, Jamie. She needs peace of mind. Can you give her that now, after all that’s happened?”
“Och, now, listen to you two.” Daphne came up behind Jamie and put her arms around his neck. “My two brothers fighting, and they canna even blame drink, early as it is. What is this fighting about? Tell me.”
“I do believe the reason has decided to join us,” Ranald said.
Across the hall, Sheena was making her way toward them, regal in her royal blue silk gown, with her hair swept back, the long tresses curling to her waist. Jamie’s chest puffed with pride.
“Och, Jamie, you said she was a bonny lass, but you didna say she was the most bonny lass in all of Scotland,” Ranald breathed in awe.
“Well now, will you look at this big beastie of a husband you have.” Daphne grinned at her sister. “’Tis lucky I am my Dobbin isna here yet, or he’d be drooling over his new sister-in-law, too.”
“Mine can drool all he likes.” Thais grinned, enjoying her husband’s uncomfortable look. “Jamie will see that drooling is all he does.”
Poor Ranald had never understood the penchant for teasing among Red Robbie MacKinnion’s offspring. Nor was he really sure when to take Thais seriously. He glanced at her, and his eyes softened, as they always did, for he was quite in love with his lovely wife. The prettier of the two sisters, in his prejudiced opinion, with a golden tinge to her red hair that gave it a coppery hue and brown eyes that could tease, cajole, and flash with fire or love as the mood took her, Thais was beautiful. Aye, he loved Thais with a passion that surprised him at times. Yet after five years of marriage, he still didn’t know when she was jesting.
Ranald squeezed Thais’ hand under the table, hoping it was not jealousy over her extraordinary sister-in-law that brought the sparkle to her eyes. “Extraordinary” was not even a good enough word to describe the beauty of the Fergusson lass. Skin so delicate, eyes so big and crystal blue, and that glorious hair so darkly contrasting against her pearly skin. Jamie was indeed a lucky man.
Thais did not think Jamie so much lucky as deserving. She adored her older brother and wished for him anything he wished for himself. She would
never be able to repay him for choosing Ranald of the Keith clan for her. Unlike Daphne, who was not satisfied with her husband, chosen by their father, Thais was completely contented with her life. She owed that to Jamie.
It pained Thais to see that Jamie was not as happy as he ought to be, and she was reminded of his first disastrous wedding. Yet he apparently did not feel he had made the wrong choice. That was plain to see in the way he looked at Sheena.
Thais was prepared to love her sister-in-law, simply because it was obvious that Jamie did. Whatever problems were causing the unhappiness between them could be mended. Nothing was impossible.
Daphne also wanted her brother’s happiness. But, standing behind Jamie, she didn’t see the tenderness in his eyes when his bride appeared. She knew only of the bad mood he had displayed the evening before and the whole of the morning, and as far as Daphne was concerned, Jamie had made a terrible choice. What had possessed him to marry a daughter of their lifelong enemy? The match was fated to fail. It couldn’t possibly be otherwise. Colen knew it. Jamie likely knew it, too, or he wouldn’t be so coldly reserved now the deed was done. What had happened yesterday only proved there could never be peace between them.
Daphne could see no way of making it better. There was certainly nothing she could do, so to get involved would be a pointless mistake. She couldn’t even hope that her sister-in-law would warm to
Jamie. Daphne had seen how miserable Sheena was the day before. She looked no happier today. The lass obviously hated Jamie, hated living in his home. They were doomed.
Well, Daphne could sympathize. She knew what it was like not to love her husband. But at least she didn’t hate Dobbin. In fact they got along well, due mainly to their hardly ever speaking to each other. And after so long, she was used to his occasional painful ruttings, over as quickly as they began. Dobbin Martin was an insensitive brute, but Daphne still welcomed his obligatory visits, wanting desperately to have a child to fill the void in her life.
Unlike Alasdair, who sighed wistfully on Sheena’s approach, Colen gritted his teeth. He had yet to speak to her alone since the wedding. He had yet to hear from her how miserable she was. But his eyes told him, and his heart ached for her. It was not that he still pined for her. But she had sworn she would marry only a man she loved. Yes, Colen ached in sympathy for her.
It was painful, taking sides. The soft spot he felt for Sheena and his love for his brother were tearing at him. He was angry, but that anger was directed at the man responsible for ending whatever small chance Sheena had had for happiness at Castle Kinnion.
Colen put the blame on Black Gawain, and he was furious that Jamie had not. The wedding, meant to end the feud, had only fueled it. And the worst was not over yet. There was still a chance that Jamie
might seek retribution for the raid. Sheena’s clan would be held responsible.
It was impossible to get Jamie to confide his intentions. He flatly refused to speak of them. But Colen was certain, more certain than he had ever been of anything, that if Jamie attacked the Fergussons, he would never have peace with Sheena, never have the love he had gambled for, the love he so desired.
Sheena, walking slowly toward her husband, his friends and family surrounding him, felt totally alone and despised. She feared these people, but she would not let them cow her. She held her head high, facing them boldly.
She reached the table, and Jamie rose. Sheena stood stiffly away from him, and he didn’t extend his hand to her. His look was guarded, a little stern, revealing nothing.
It was Alasdair MacDonough who broke the silence, having risen along with the other men. “You’re as sinfully beautiful as ever, lass,” he said.
Sheena’s eyes widened, confusion mingling with surprise. “You’re no’ still angry with me?”
“’Tis only regret I’m feeling, and ’tis growing worse by the second, now I’ve seen you again.”
What could Sheena say? This was not the arrogant, conceited Alasdair she remembered. She began to feel her own regret, regret that fate had stopped her from marrying him instead.
“I’m sorry, Sir Alasdair,” Sheena replied softly. “Truly, I wish—”
“Dinna be monopolizing her, Sir Alasdair.” Thais cut Sheena short, fearing she was about to say something she shouldn’t. “And you’re a great lout, Jamie MacKinnion, to be standing here without making introductions.”
Jamie gave his younger sister a sidelong glance of gratitude. “Sheena, this is my sister Thais, and her husband, Ranald Keith.” Then he added, “And you’ve met my sister Daphne.”
Sheena’s cheeks took on a rosy flush, and she smiled hesitantly at Daphne. “I fear I was a wee bit bemused for the better part of yesterday, when we met.”
“You dinna have to explain, Sheena.” Daphne tried to put the poor girl at ease. “I can remember very little of my own wedding day except the terrible nervousness. I’m sure ’tis the way with most of us.”
Thais took Sheena by the arm and led her over to the fire, murmuring something about getting better acquainted while the men amused themselves. Daphne followed, and Jamie’s eyes followed the women. He was wary of Sheena’s being alone with his sisters. There was no saying what she might tell them.
Ranald congratulated him again on his bride, and then half a dozen Gregorys arrived. The next hour was spent in heavy drinking despite the early hour, and Jamie was kept busy. Aunt Lydia had come down, bemoaning a nasty head, throbbing from the night before. She joined the women by the fireside. Jamie turned around to glance their way every few
minutes and soon saw Sheena laughing with his sisters, apparently at ease and enjoying herself. The sight infuriated him. How dare she dismiss all that had happened?
He needed to talk to her, needed to set her straight. She was his wife. What happened outside the castle would not change that.
T
he merrymaking continued throughout the day. Sheena was actually enjoying herself, especially so while Jamie was away. He left the hall without so much as a glance her way, and then returned a few hours later. He wore the same brooding face. Unapproachable was what he was, unapproachable when she needed to talk to him. She forced herself to forget about him and turn her attention to the company.
She found she liked Jamie’s sisters very much, as she had liked Aunt Lydia from the first. What was it about these MacKinnion women that was so agreeable? Lydia was so warm and sympathetic. Daphne was more reserved, but charming and understanding. Thais, no older than Sheena, was vivacious, full of life and good cheer. Sheena found herself quite envious of Thais. And of the family. She wasn’t used to a loving family. She had had Niall and her father but never the love of her sisters. The differ
ence between these sisters and her own was appalling, making her wistful with longing. No wonder Jamie was tender with her at times. He had had so much practice with his two sisters.
“So my Dobbin has finally arrived.”
When Daphne spoke, Sheena turned to the entrance and saw a big, brutish man with red hair and beard and eyebrows that were much too thick and bushy. Almost his whole face was covered with hair.
Sheena couldn’t hide her surprise. “That’s your husband?” She knew she was staring.
Daphne grinned good-naturedly, used to people’s reaction to Dobbin Martin. “Och, now, we canna all have handsome devils for husbands. And mine’s no’ so bad. At least his temper doesna run amok, and his only real fault is his indulgence of his cousins—especially that one. She must have been waiting outside for Dobbin, knowing she would find welcome here only with Dobbin as her escort.”
Sheena saw the woman standing a little behind him. Jessie Martin. She frowned. Having hoped she would never see that viper again, she was unpleasantly surprised.
And if that was not enough. Black Gawain appeared in the entrance. His face was more darkly set even than Jamie’s, if that was possible. His anger stirred Sheena’s own temper. Was he here to cause trouble? His eyes lit on her with a smoldering intensity that signaled the worst.
Sheena left the women by the fire and hurried to Jamie’s side without considering that she might be
rebuffed. She pulled him away from his conversation, away from the tables and any eavesdroppers. When she turned to face him, Jamie didn’t look at all pleased.
Undaunted, Sheena let her anger spill forth. “Are you aware Black Gawain is here?”
“Is he?”
Jamie’s casual response brought sparks to Sheena’s eyes, and she demanded, “Are these guests here for our wedding or no’?”
“They are.”
“Then have I no say in who is invited to partake of the celebrating?”
“Dinna be a hypocrite, Sheena,” Jamie replied coldly. “You’ve made it clear you’ve no reason to celebrate, so what does it matter if there is another here who feels the same way?”
“I dinna want him here, that is what matters! I canna stand the sight of him, Jamie. If no’ for him…”
She hesitated, and he demanded, “What?”
But she wouldn’t admit that things might have been different between them if not for Gawain. She would have spent the night with Jamie, still in a haze of happiness, instead of crying her heart out alone. But she wouldn’t tell him any of that, so she said instead, “If no’ for Black Gawain, my cousin wouldna have been wounded. Do you think Iain survived the long trek home? He is probably dead even now!”
“And only fitting if so, considering I’ve two kins
men of my own sorely wounded,” Jamie retorted cruelly before he could stop himself.
Sheena gasped. This was not the man she had come to know. Worse, it
was
the man she had been raised to fear. What was happening to him?
“What will you do, Jamie?” she asked, as mildly as she could.
But he had spent the whole day in a black mood and was not appeased by her sudden meekness. The fact was, he had made no decision about what to do, but he would keep that from her.
“Whatever I do, lass, you’ll still be my wife. If you’re no’ clear about what that means, let me enlighten you. I’ll no’ stay away from our room again as I did last night. We will share that room—and more. Do you ken?”
Her chin came up stubbornly. If Jamie thought he could dominate her simply because he was her husband, he was about to learn differently.
“I ken.” Her answer was controlled. “And now
you
ken. You think you have rights over me, but I’ll no’ honor them. I was made wife to you, but ’twas no’ what I wanted, and in my mind those ties are severed as of now. So dinna expect me to ever call you husband, Jamie, for our marriage is a mockery.”
Her words dissolved Jamie’s anger, striking him with terrible pain until his heart felt wrenched from his chest.
He had lost her
. He knew it was probably too late to change that. Panicked, he knew it was his own fault.
“Sheena…”
She turned away, unable to listen anymore. What she had said had stunned her. She hadn’t meant to be so…final. Her throat constricted. She hadn’t meant what she’d said. But having said the words, she couldn’t take them back.
She looked at him, at the soft blond waves of his hair curling on his neck, the strong, handsome face. Pain reflected in his hazel eyes. Did her eyes mirror his? But hers were even more revealing, filling with tears she couldn’t stop.
“I’m sorry, Jamie. I fear we’re both too stubborn.” She couldn’t say more, and she couldn’t stop crying, so she turned and walked swiftly from the hall.