A Gentle Feuding (21 page)

I
f Jamie had meant to put on a good front, to deceive his guests into thinking all was well, he failed miserably. Sheena did not return to the hall. And more than one person had seen her leaving shedding dismal tears.

How he wanted to go after her! Yet how could he? It had become a matter of pride and where pride was concerned, Jamie was too vulnerable. Pride had always mastered him, not the other way around. She had made their argument public.

It was all Jamie could do to wait until the hour when he could retire without notice. It grew quite late, but there were still many guests in the hall. The Gregorys and the Martins were stout drinkers and would no doubt be at it long into the night. Deciding there was no discourtesy in it, he rose to leave. He had had a few hefty tankards, but had been careful not to drink too much.

Jamie opened the door to his room. It was quite dark. The room was chilly, the fire out. She wasn’t there. In a moment or two he had a blaze going, but it was still chilly. And empty.

He sat down on the bed with a sigh. Should he go searching for her? He should just let her stay wherever she was. There were any number of lasses who would warm his bed. Jessie, of course, had signaled that she was available again. She had ignored Black Gawain all evening, staying by her cousin, Dobbin, which put her closer to Jamie, as close as she could get. He could remember the warmth of Jessie’s body, so soft and yielding. Never would he get anger from her, only heady passion.

“Who am I fooling?” Jamie muttered aloud in the cold room. He listened to the silence, then got up and left.

He tried the room he had put Sheena in before their wedding. And there she was, curled up in the small bed, fast asleep. She had no business being asleep, looking so peaceful.

He didn’t wake her, just removed her covers gently and scooped her up in his arms. She made a faint noise of protest but remained asleep and snuggled into his shoulder as he carried her back to where she belonged.

Jamie laid her on the bed, then stood back ready for the fight to begin. But Sheena only stretched slightly without opening her eyes. Jamie grinned. She was making this very easy for him. He would have her at his mercy before she even woke up. And
with that delightful thought, he quickly divested himself of his clothes.

He began by slowly easing her thin woolen shift up her legs, running his fingers along the smooth skin as he did, stopping whenever she made a noise, beginning again when she was quiet. How he delighted in the silken feel of her, her legs so shapely, so firm yet pliant.

When her shift couldn’t be moved any farther without disturbing her, Jamie left it alone, gently lifting only the front above her waist. He then devoted his full attention to the tender warm nest between her legs, touching her ever so gently, his fingers teasing, beckoning a response.

It was long in coming, but when she began to respond, his fingers glided easily over the moist surface. She was ready for him, but he held back.

He knelt by her side and tugged her shift from under her hips, but she still didn’t waken. He positioned himself between her legs, then swiftly pulled the shift up.

Sheena woke instantly, but before she could speak, he was pulling the shift over her head. Her cry of outrage was smothered as his mouth covered hers.

She tried to turn her head away, but he held her still, plundering her mouth with his fiery tongue. His pulsing manhood glided smoothly into her.

Sheena was shocked by the ease with which he entered her, filling her totally. More shocking was the way her body reacted, welcoming, arching toward him.

I canna! her mind screamed. I canna let him master my body!

But he was doing just that, and with such expertise. Sheena succumbed quickly. She wanted him. Despite everything, desire soared in her with a fluid rush. He was filling her, filling her to bursting. Nothing mattered but the heat inflaming her, and Jamie.

Release remained just out of reach, maddeningly so. Jamie wouldn’t quicken his pace, and it was driving her crazy. He would bring her just so close, so near, then he would stop. Her entire body screamed for that last release. She moaned, her nails raking his back. But Jamie was determined to prolong this exquisite torture.

Finally she realized that Jamie was no longer kissing her. Her eyes flew open, and she found him staring at her with such a pained expression that she knew what he was doing to her was hurting him, as well.

Why? He told her soon enough, his voice beseeching yet insistent. “I’m your husband. Say it!”

Her thoughts were too jumbled for understanding, so she gladly told him what he wanted to hear.

“You’re my husband.”

“You’ll never deny it again.”

“Nay, never.”

His body pummeled hers with a violence then that was sweetly savage, and Sheena thrilled to it, met it with equal fervor. She was starving, and he
was the nourishment, and she could never get enough of him, never….

To have thought intrude on that delicious languor was regrettable, but intrude it did, after the fury was spent. When Jamie rolled over and pulled her body into the crook of his arm, when he began to move his fingers over her, caressing her with such tenderness, as if their lovemaking had settled everything between them, she couldn’t hold back anymore. She spoke up quickly, before his hands had a chance to work their magic again.

“You took advantage of me, Jamie.”

“Och, now, sweetheart, I didna do anything you didna want me to.”

“You’re wrong, Jamie. I dinna know why you’re able to stir such passion in me with your touch, but there is a great difference in what I felt then and what I feel now. You can only rob me of my will for a short time. I have it back now. Nothing has changed.”

“Ah, but it has, lass, it has,” Jamie breathed softly. “You’ve learned you canna deny me, no matter your wanting to. Whatever the future brings, we will still have this. And I’ll no’ stop wanting you, Sheena.” This was spoken solemnly, in earnest, almost like a threat. “And you may wish it otherwise, but you’ll no’ stop wanting me, either.”

T
he loveliest, most wonderful feeling, to be bathed in soft cloud, as if you were floating high above the reality of the world in a mystical heaven. Sheena experienced that feeling as she walked along the battlements late in the afternoon. It had been that way most of the day, thick clouds coming down to surround the castle. At times she’d had to stop, unable to see a foot in front of her. And she could see nothing at all beyond the walls. Yet she could look down into the courtyard and see clearly, for, of course, the clouds did not gather there, only over it, like a ceiling.

She was watching another group of guests leaving. That was probably the last of them, except for the Martins, who intended to visit for a while. Jamie would be sorely displeased. He had wanted the festivities to continue for a week or more, but the prevailing atmosphere had not encouraged festivity.
The guests had been quite uncomfortable amidst the hostilities of bride and groom.

It was Sheena’s fault, she knew it. Jamie had tried to appear in good spirits that day. Perhaps he really was enjoying himself after his victory of the night before. But Sheena had made little effort.

The possibility that she might always want Jamie was absurd, wasn’t it? Yet something had been proven the night before, and the truth of it was hard to bear.

She hated Jamie—didn’t she? It certainly felt like hate. If it wasn’t hate, what was it? How could she feel such pleasure from his touch? She couldn’t reason it out.

Sheena heartily wished she could float away with the clouds and forget it all, her marriage, Jamie’s claim on her, everything. Of course she couldn’t. She would have to go back to the hall eventually and suffer through another painfully solemn meal. And then later—where could she hide that he couldn’t find her? Perversely, a small voice asked if she really wanted to hide.

Sheena shivered in the cold and wrapped her cloak tighter as she watched the Keiths riding through the gate. Could they see to make their way down the mountainside? From her perch on the wall, she couldn’t tell. She would miss Thais and her cheerful banter. But perhaps it was better that the guests were gone. Maybe Jamie would settle the matter that had cast the pall over their wedding. Set
tle it one way or another. She couldn’t bear the suspense, the constant worry over her family.

“You should be leaving as well, ’afore there are more deaths because of you.”

Sheena gasped. She didn’t have to turn around. She knew that vengeful voice behind her. She ran, ran as fast as she could, before Black Gawain decided to help her leave. It would be so easy to claim that she had stumbled because of the thick clouds and fallen over the wall. An accident. Who could say it hadn’t been accidental?

When she reached the warmth of the hall, she was still trembling. But she was safe there, and the trembling subsided. If she could say nothing else for Jamie, at least his presence made her feel secure.

Jamie didn’t speak to her when she sat down by his side. His mood had indeed soured with the parting of nearly all his guests. He took no notice of her pallor, acknowledging her presence with a grunt and then resuming his conversation with Dobbin. At least Daphne and Lydia were there to keep her company, and to help her ignore the presence of Jessie, who was sitting next to Dobbin.

It might have continued fairly comfortably, each ignoring the other, if Black Gawain hadn’t put in an appearance. He wasn’t there just for the evening meal; Sheena sensed that. Her eyes were fastened on his face, mesmerized by the malevolence of him. Daphne was talking to her, but she didn’t even hear. Reaching the table, Gawain stood directly behind
Jamie’s chair and announced as loudly as he could, “Hamish has succumbed to his wounds. He is dead.”

Jamie turned around instantly. “Are you sure?” he asked simply, quietly.

Gawain nodded. “The question is, what will you be doing about it?”

It took great daring to demand that of James MacKinnion. Black Gawain was either a fool or simply beyond all caution.

It was Colen who shoved the question aside angrily. “Is that all you can think of when a kinsman has just died? Can he no’ be buried first?”

“If your brother had been thinking of the clan, instead of his new bride, there would be no need for burying at all” was Gawain’s blistering reply.

There were shocked mutterings. Was the fool looking to be buried himself? How did he dare cast aspersions against Jamie?

Quite slowly, Jamie stood, until his face was only inches above Gawain’s, and very close. Gawain had to look up to meet those cold hazel eyes.

“For a tacksman, cousin, you take a lot upon yourself,” Jamie said smoothly. “I’m thinking you forget whose blade it was that pierced a Fergusson, when they were one and all under my protection.”

“And you forget I was provoked!” Gawain fumed.

Jamie’s voice was but a whisper. Only Gawain heard him say, “No’ forgetting, just doubting now—as I did then—that there was any provocation at all. Need I make myself clearer, Gawain, or do you see the action I should have taken was against you?”

Gawain lost some of his bluster. He turned quite pale, and Sheena would have given anything to know why. But she hadn’t heard.

“Have a care, Gawain,” Jamie added more loudly. “You would do well to leave my presence while I’m still inclined to let you.”

Black Gawain saw the wisdom in that, but he couldn’t resist a parting shot. “She’s bewitched you, Jamie. You’ve no’ seen things in perspective since she came here. Retaliation is called for, yet you let her sway you. She’s turned you soft, man. There’s no other explanation.”

Jamie held himself in check to keep from responding. For the truth was, he still wasn’t certain what had happened that day, his wedding day. It was time to be certain, though, time to stop procrastinating and do something. Black Gawain’s accusation rang true, and Jamie resented it bitterly. Maybe he had let Sheena influence his judgment. There was no excuse for that, even if he hadn’t been aware of it at the time.

“Jamie?”

He looked at Sheena but couldn’t bear seeing fear in her eyes yet again. Besides, he needed space to breathe, to think. He couldn’t do that with her asking questions he couldn’t answer. Without another word to anyone, he left the hall.

It was the middle of the night when Jamie finally came to their room, and she was waiting for him. She found out what he’d decided on more easily
than she wanted to. Her stomach twisted into a tight knot as she watched him gather weapons, knowing whom those weapons would be used against.

“So you’ve let him goad you into it?” Sheena whispered in a strained voice.

Jamie wouldn’t look at her. “I’ve delayed long enough. It must be done.”

She felt lifeless, dead, except for the pain that wouldn’t stop.

“I’ll no’ be here when you return.” Her words fell out of her, one over the other.

Jamie swung around, his eyes blazing. “You’ll be here, Sheena, or you’ll be wishing you were dead when I find you. And find you I will!”

She caught her breath. On top of everything else, he dared threaten her! Life rushed back into her, and she flew off the chair where she had been sitting for hours, waiting for him.

“Wish I were dead? I wish I were dead now! Aye, dead, instead of married to you!”

“Careful, Sheena—”

“Or what?” she shouted. “You’ll kill me? Better me than my kin!”

Jamie turned away. He had no intention of killing her kin. He’d meant only to talk to Dugald, but he was too angry to say so.

“I’ll no’ be swayed again!” he growled, more to himself than to her.

Sheena ground her fists into her temples in utter frustration. “I hate you for the fool you are, James MacKinnion,” she hissed. “I’m my father’s first
born! You know how he feels about me. Knowing that, how can you believe he would attack you, leaving me here to suffer for it? Don’t you see?”

“You’ve no’ suffered!”

“But he canna know whether I have or no’. He wouldna risk it! Can you no’ see that?”

If Sheena had been distraught and crying, he might have relented and reassured her. But she was too angry to cry, and he was too angry to acknowledge the sense of what she said. Still, he couldn’t leave her like that. He caught her to him, and his kiss was as furious as their tempers.

And then he shoved her from him, holding her at arm’s length. “I’ll be talking to Dugald first,” Jamie told her curtly. “But I make no promises beyond that.”

He gathered the last of his things and walked out of the room. Then, finally, tears came to Sheena. They racked her, the tears and her desolation.