A Hard Man to Forget (18 page)

“Explains what?”

“Where I’d heard of it. You must have mentioned it. And
why you went there.”

A chill slid down her spine. She read the meaning into his words. As
far as he was concerned, this was proof that she’d left him.
How would she have wound up in an obscure place that held such a
special significance for her if not by choice?

“We don’t know that.”

“What other explanation is there?”

“There are a lot of things that still need explaining before I
can begin to touch that one.”

“Hmmm…” he said noncommittally, turning his full
attention to the computer and putting his back to her. She could
almost see the walls slamming down around him, shutting her out. He
wasn’t going to give her an inch.

He was still angry with her, believing that she was Meredith and
she’d left him. She couldn’t argue the point, not when
she didn’t have the answers herself. Instead she struggled for
a change of topic to reach him with.

Her gaze fell on the laptop. “Your family must be proud of how
successful you are.”

His fingers stilled on the keyboard for the slightest of instants,
the reaction so brief she almost missed it. “I have no idea if
they are or not.”

“You’re not close?”

“No.”

Laura waited for him to elaborate. He didn’t. She frowned,
trying to think back to the pictures she’d looked at yesterday.
There had been such an overload of names and faces. Now that she
thought of it, she hadn’t seen any of Simon’s relatives,
something that had slipped past her as she struggled to take it all
in.

“They weren’t at your wedding.”

“No.”

“How can that be?”

“Like I said, we’re not close.”

“Why not?”

“It’s a very long, not very interesting story.”

“I’m not going anywhere, and I’m very interested.”

He sighed. “There’s no chance you’re going to drop
this?”

“None whatsoever.”

He took a deep breath. For a moment she wasn’t sure he was
going to tell her. Then he dropped his hands from the keyboard.
Still, he didn’t turn to look at her.

“My parents married at a young age. They believed themselves to
be in love. It wasn’t long before they realized what they were
feeling had more to do with rebelling against their disapproving
parents than actual affection. But it was too late. I had already
been born. They divorced soon after. Each went on to marry partners
their families viewed more favorably and started new families of
their own.”

“What happened to you?”

“I was raised by a nanny until I was old enough to go to
boarding school.”

“How old was that?”

“Ten.”

She gasped in disbelief. “They sent you away when you were ten
years old?”

“There was no reason to keep me around. No one wants to look at
a reminder of a youthful mistake everyday across the dinner table.”

“You make it sound so sensible.”

“It was probably best for everyone involved.”

“Including you?”

A vein leapt at the base of his neck. “Yes. Who wants to be
where they aren’t wanted?”

Simon did his best to mask the emotion behind the dry words. A few
days ago, he might have been able to fool her. But Laura was learning
to read him better and better. She could see the pain beneath the
sarcasm, and she felt it as if it were her own.

“What about on breaks and during the summer?”

“I usually stayed at school. It really was better that way.
There was a great computer lab at school. I managed to keep myself
occupied.”

“That’s horrible.”

He looked back at her with amusement. “Trust me, I was much
happier there than I would have been in any family gathering. If I
had spent that time being shuttled between two families where I
didn’t fit in, I might not be where I am today.”

“Alone?” She cringed as soon as the word popped out of
her mouth. “I’m sorry. I seem to have developed a bad
habit of speaking first and thinking second.”

“So I noticed,” he said wryly. “In any case, for
all intents and purposes, I don’t have a family.”

“But if you have brothers and sisters—"

“Who don’t view me as a brother. It takes more than blood
ties to make a family. If you showed any of them my picture, I doubt
they’d recognize it.”

He said the words so dispassionately Laura might have thought they
didn’t affect him.

In her mind, she saw a clear picture of the lonely little boy no one
had cared about, and one more piece of the puzzle clicked into place.

“So that’s it.”

“What?”

“I never understood why you were so sure that Meredith left you
when no one else thought it was possible. It was because you expected
her to abandon you in the end, just like everybody else.”

He snorted. “You can’t be serious.”

“You told me so yourself.”

“When?”

“When you confronted me that first night. You said the only
thing that kept you from turning me over to the police was that you
wanted to know why first. Why she left you. What is it that’s
so awful about Simon Randall that everyone he cares about leaves
him?”

He said nothing for a moment, though his shoulders heaved beneath the
fabric of his shirt. “I told you what you wanted to know. Any
more questions, counselor?”

“Not at the moment. And I’m sorry about your family.”

“Don’t be. That’s not why I told you.”

She tilted her head. “Why did you?”

“Because you asked.”

“How did Meredith react when you told her?”

He didn’t say anything for a moment. “I’m not sure
I ever did. I usually tell people I don’t have any family and
leave it at that. I think that’s what I told Meredith. She
probably assumed I meant they were all dead.”

Laura frowned. He was right. There was no mention of any of this in
Meredith’s diaries. The whole idea struck her as wrong somehow.
She couldn’t imagine herself “leaving it at that.”
Even now, Laura felt the urge to press him for more information, for
more details. She wanted to know everything there was to know about
this man.

Impulsively, she got up from the bed and threw her arms around him.
He went rigid, and she knew she’d caught him off-guard. She
didn’t move, waiting. Then his arms went around her, somewhat
awkwardly at first, then more relaxed. A sigh of contentment, so soft
she felt it more than heard it, came from him. It was quickly echoed
by her own. He felt so warm and strong and solid. She squeezed him
tight, and she knew that she could never let him go.

Even as the thought crossed her mind, she felt him begin to pull
away.

“We should get back to work,” he said. “This isn’t
getting us any closer to the answers.”

“Sure.” Unnerved by the strength of her reaction, she
could only agree with the suggestion.

She went back to the bed. When she looked back at him again, he was
working on the computer again as though nothing had happened. It was
hard not to get the impression that she’d been dismissed.

He might want to pretend he hadn’t allowed her in just that
little bit, but it was too late. She sensed that something had
changed between them, and no matter what he might like, she wasn’t
about to let him push her away.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Simon asked.

Laura hid a smile. He sounded more reluctant than she felt. “I’m
sure. We’ve spent so much time in that room the walls are
starting to close in. Besides, I’m going to have to face these
people sometime.”

“If you say so,” Simon grumbled. He didn’t argue
further. Setting his shoulders, he reached out and opened the door
of the restaurant for her.

The Bluebell Café was Rockwell’s only real place to eat
out, not counting the fast food restaurant on the edge of town. It
was exactly what she would have expected a small town diner to be
like, with wooden booths and tables and a wide main counter that
dominated the middle of the room. Two waitresses stood behind it,
retrieving food-laden plates from the window behind them, while
another server worked the room. It was 8:30 in the morning, so the
place was packed with the breakfast crowd, at least some of whom had
to be tourists or simply driving through. They were the only ones who
didn’t stop to stare when she and Simon stepped through the
door.

God bless the tourists, otherwise the room might have gone completely
silent. Instead, the loud cacophony only quieted a little.

It was the same intense scrutiny she’d been through yesterday
on the street, so Laura was at least somewhat prepared for it. It was
a good thing to. Facing several dozen pairs of eyes all focused on
her was a daunting prospect. If she hadn’t known it was coming,
she might have been inclined to turn around and walk back out the
door.

She felt Simon’s hand on the small of her back, his tension
palpable. She straightened her spine, giving him the signal that she
wasn’t about to turn back. After being shot at twice in the
last two days, she figured she could handle breakfast.

One of the waitresses came out from behind the counter, grabbing two
menus on her way over to them. Her face was set with a welcoming
smile. As she came closer, Laura could read the wariness in the
woman’s eyes. She never looked at Simon, and it was clearly a
struggle to keep her gaze on Laura’s face.

“Good morning,” she said, stopping a few feet in front of
them. “Table for two?”

“Yes.” Laura tried for a smile. It didn’t ease the
tension on the woman’s face one bit.

“Right this way.”

The waitress turned and scanned the room. The only available table
was in the far corner. She couldn’t tell if the waitress was
relieved or not. It meant they would be out of the way of most of the
diners, but also that they’d have to walk past the entire room
to get there.

Everyone who’d stopped to look had returned to their meals, but
Laura could still feel their eyes on her as they walked by. It didn’t
help that she was wearing more of Meredith’s clothes. Again, it
was just a sweater and jeans, fairly plain clothes, but with the
unflinching scrutiny being aimed her way, she didn’t know if
they were somehow too recognizable. Simon hadn’t said anything,
but maybe the blue sweater was something Meredith had worn a lot.
Maybe it only increased the resemblance, making some people believe
it really was her, and others angry that she was stepping so easily
into another woman’s life.

They slid into opposite sides of the corner booth. The
waitress—Penny, according to her nametag—slid the two
menus on the table in front of them. “Can I get you anything to
drink?”

“Water’s fine for now,” Laura said.

“Nothing,” Simon muttered before Penny could turn to him.
She moved away from the table.

Simon reached for his menu. “Ten bucks says she tries to get
another waitress to handle this table.”

Laura’s mouth quirked. “She was perfectly nice.”

“And nervous. Who can blame her? Serving the boogeyman and a
ghost can’t be a waitress’s dream.”

“You’re exaggerating.”

He lifted one brow and slowly slid his gaze over to the counter. She
followed his stare. Sure enough, the waitresses were huddled together
having a furious conversation.

“I take back the bet,” Simon said. “I don’t
think she’s going to be able to pass us off. The others don’t
look like they want any part of us.”

She frowned as the waitress shot a glance back at them. Their eyes
met. Color spiked in Penny’s face before she quickly turned
away.

Laura sighed. “I wish there was something I could say to put
them at ease.”

“Forget about them. Are you okay with this? We can still go.”

“No. I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“That you know of,” he murmured.

She tried not to feel the sting of his comment. “Either way,
I’m not going to run.” She spotted another woman a few
tables away staring at her. As soon as the woman saw her looking
back, she quickly lowered her head. “I just wish it was
easier.”

“If it makes you feel any better, they probably wouldn’t
be acting much different if I had shown up here by myself. Now you
see why I live so far outside of town.”

“Why didn’t you move if things are so bad here?”

“Who said they were bad? I like being left alone.”

“That must get old after a while.”

“There’s a difference between being alone and being
lonely.”

“Which one are you?”

He pinned her with his dark stare. For the slightest moment, she
thought she detected a hint of vulnerability, quickly disguised,
there.

He turned back to his menu. “Save the pop psychology for
someone who’s interested.”

It was probably a good idea, but she couldn’t let go. She
wanted to know. “Why didn’t you move out of that house?”

“Where would I go?”

“Anywhere. I’m sure you could afford it. You could have
gone anywhere you wanted to get away from all of this.”

“Maybe there was nowhere I wanted to go.”

“Really? You wanted to stay in that house, with all of
Meredith’s things? With her room there exactly as she left it?
Were you waiting for her to come back?”

“No, I never expected her to come back,” he said quietly.
“But I thought the answer might be there somewhere. The truth
to why she left might be found in her belongings.” A humorless
smile touched his lips. “Little did I know it was in
Harrisville.”

Penny’s reappearance at her side prevented Laura from
responding to that. The waitress placed two glasses of water on the
tabletop. Laura realized that she hadn’t looked at her menu.
She quickly picked it up while Simon placed his order, but the words
all blurred together. In spite of how hungry she’d been when
they left the inn, she felt no hunger now. When Penny came back to
her she named the first thing she saw on the page and handed her menu
over.