A Heart Decision (17 page)

While she waited for him to climb the steps, she
stood and slipped her ring back off her finger. Once he reached the
second floor, she led him down the hall to Luke’s library and
pressed the ring into his hand. “I can’t keep this.”

“I told you, I want you to have it no matter
what.”

“No. It’s not going to work, Ben. I can’t marry
you.”

He stared into her eyes and stroked her cheek. “Why?
He still doesn’t want you.”

“Yes, he does. Luke’s just protecting me from
something terrible in his life. He won’t tell me what it is, but I
intend to make it my business to find out.”

“Maybe when you do, you won’t want
him
.”

“There isn’t anything that could make me stop loving
him. And you deserve someone who won’t make you feel like second
best the rest of your life.”

The muscles in Ben’s throat flexed furiously for
several seconds before he spoke. “I love you, Sabrina. I hope it
works out with Luke, but he doesn’t seem as if he’s about to change
his mind. Just remember, if he doesn’t come around, I’ll still be
willing to give you the family you want.” He brushed his lips over
her forehead and left. As his feet pounded down the steps, she
wandered back to the stairs in time to hear Ben say to Luke,
“Congratulations, she’s all yours, whether you want her or
not.”

“What do you mean—” The back door slammed, cutting
off Luke’s words. When she strolled back into the kitchen, a deep
crevice bisected his forehead. “What did he mean you’re all
mine?”

“I just gave Ben his ring back,” she whispered and
turned away while she filled a mug with coffee for him.

“Damn it, Brina! The man is head over ass in love
with you. Why the hell would you do that? If you think I’m gonna
step up to the plate just cause he’s out of the game—”

“I don’t expect a damn thing from you, you big
jerk!” She set the hot cup of coffee down on the table in front of
him. “I ought to throw that at you. How dare you insinuate I’m
trying to manipulate you? If you really think that, then you don’t
know me at all.”

“I don’t understand why you would ditch a guy who
loves you and wants to give you the world.”

“Because I care about him. Ben can never be happy
with me, feeling like he can’t measure up to you.”

“That’s not
my
fault.” He jabbed his chest
with his thumb.

“No one says it is.”

“I don’t think Ben would agree.”

“Face it, Luke, I love
you
. That’s not going
to change if I marry him. I can’t stand to see your friendship torn
apart. And if you think Ben is upset with you now, consider how
he’ll feel about you when I call out your name in bed some
night.”

Another set of knuckles rapped on the door and
interupted. Luke’s partner stood outside, sweat glistening on his
dark face.

“Hey, Cal!” Luke waved him inside.

As usual, the big jerk welcomed anything that would
offer a reprieve from discussing his feelings.

The big man stepped through the door, carrying a box
from Dunkin’ Donuts, and shook Luke’s hand. “I thought I’d stop by
to deliver the good news in person. We arrested Suarez and his
supplier last night with the drugs.”

“Yes!” Luke punched the air. “That’s great
news.”

“We staked out the exotic dancer’s house like you
suggested. How the hell did you know she was his girlfriend?”

“It was just a gut feeling. He brought her a dose of
antihistamine that night, and he didn’t seem thrilled with the way
his contact was ogling her.”

“Well, it was a good call. We collared ‘em right in
the middle of their deal at her kitchen table.” Cal set the box of
donuts on the table. “So, how’re you doing?”

“A lot better now that you’ve brought me some food.”
Luke chose one of the glazed donuts from the carton and tore into
it. His mouth full, he mumbled, “Sabrina’s trying to starve me this
morning. Pull up a chair, and take a load off.”

The man should’ve been an actor instead of cop. She
didn’t know anyone who could mask his feelings the way he did.

“Let me say hello to this beautiful lady first.” Cal
kissed her on the cheek. “Is he behaving himself?”

“Mostly. Thanks for the goodies. But seriously,
donuts?”

“I’m just doing my part, living up to the cop
stereotype.”

“Bull.” Luke reached over and patted Cal’s
substantial paunch. “He brought donuts because Darlene won’t let
him eat them. She’s more afraid of him dying from a heart attack
than a bullet.”

She poured a mug of coffee for Cal and smiled down
at Luke. “Since you now have company as well as sustenance, I’ll go
upstairs to call Annie and tell her we can take care of the kids
today.”

She grabbed one of the donuts and gnawed on her lip
as she climbed the stairs to Luke’s office. How was she going to
face her brother and sister-in-law? Tyler had been so happy when
she’d agreed to marry Ben.

It had always been her nature to look for the silver
lining in a cloud. Unfortunately, the only one she could see on the
horizon was that she could go back to work now.

“You don’t know what a Godsend this is,” Annie said.
“With my school schedule, it would be December before I’d be able
to squeeze in another appointment.”

After getting pregnant with Noah at only sixteen,
Annie had been forced to drop out of high school. When Sabrina
first met her, Annie had been extremely insecure about her lack of
education.

“Going to college was your dream, but you don’t
sound very happy about it.” Sabrina licked the donut’s sugar from
her fingers and straightened the pile of mail on Luke’s desk. “I
thought you really enjoyed your classes. You made the Dean’s list
while you were pregnant and caring for two six-year-olds, for
crying out loud.”

“I know.” Annie sighed. “But I didn’t have Sam then.
I can’t stand leaving him every day. I think going to college was
more about proving to myself I could do it than anything. I don’t
even know what I want to major in.”

“Lots of people aren’t sure about that when they
start. If you don’t want to go to school, don’t.”

“You don’t understand. Tyler is so proud of me. You
should see the beautiful leather backpack he surprised me with. I
don’t want to disappoint him.”

“My brother loves you and wants whatever is going to
make you happy.”

“But even I’m not sure what that is. I love going to
school. But Sam will only be a baby for such a short time.”

“Then take this time to enjoy him.”

“But I also hate it when people ask what I do for a
living, and I have to say I’m just a stay-at-home mom. It makes me
feel sort of....I don’t know....inadequate.”

Sabrina shook her head and sighed. She hated the
pressure society put on mothers. One half of the world considered
it selfish for a woman to leave her children and continue working
once she had a family, and the other half considered her lazy and
unproductive if she didn’t pursue a career.

“I despise that phrase
just a
stay-at-home-mom
. There is no job more important than raising
your children, Annie. If that fulfills you, forget about other
people’s opinions. The next time someone asks what you do for a
living, tell them you’re raising the next generation’s Thomas
Edison, Margaret Thatcher, and Jonas Salk.”

Annie chuckled. “You might not be too far off on
that Margaret Thatcher thing. Your niece definitely inherited her
father’s ability to debate an issue, and she’s no slouch at getting
Noah to do what she wants, either.”

“I know. I’ve seen Mandy in action. The most
important thing is for your kids to have a happy mom. Talk to
Tyler. He’ll understand.”

Sabrina’s own words reverberated through her head.
Great advice. So why didn’t she take it herself? Unfortunately, she
wasn’t sure her brother would understand her driving a wedge
between his two best friends.

Tyler still hated their late father for all his
shortcomings and blamed him for gambling away the money to purchase
the heating oil that might have prevented their mother from losing
her battle against pneumonia. When their dad died a year later, as
a result of a beating from someone he’d owed money to, her brother
had even refused to attend his funeral.

Granted, her broken engagement hadn’t killed anyone,
but coming between the two men Tyler would give his life for might
still make his
unforgivable sins
list.

Sam began crying in the background, and Annie said,
“I have to go. My breasts feel as if they’re ready to explode.”

After Sabrina hung up the phone, she continued
straightening Luke’s office to give him more time alone with his
partner. Undoubtedly, he needed someone to talk to right now, and
she was the last person in the world he would pour his heart out
to.

As she transferred the contents of the wastepaper
basket into a large empty potato chip bag Luke had left on his
desk, a newsletter from a support group grabbed her attention.

Dear, God, no.

It was times like this that ignorance truly would be
bliss, and she hated being a nurse. Her gaze snapped to the
bookshelves. The answer she needed had been right there the whole
time. At least a dozen volumes on neurological disorders sat among
his medical books, and three dealt specifically with Huntington’s
disease.

It all fit—his father’s violent behavior and
suicide, his brother’s drug addiction, Luke’s reckless
thrill-seeking behavior, and his decision to have a
vasectomy....not to mention, his zealous objections to Mrs. Klausen
bearing the burden of her husband’s Alzheimer’s.

That only left one question unanswered. Was he sure
he would eventually develop the disease, or did he simply fear he
was a ticking time bomb?

She winced as a memory from her nurse’s training
flooded back.

Little Ricky Norton had been afflicted with juvenile
Huntington’s. It was the most heartbreaking case she’d ever had,
and she spent hours crying for the child and his parents. After
Ricky died in her arms, she’d suffered intense guilt over her
failure to notice his lack of muscle control had compromised his
ability to swallow. Consequently, he’d aspirated a mouthful of
oatmeal. She’d shared her remorse and anguish with the women in
Luke’s family while helping with the Christmas dinner dishes at his
mom’s house.

Talk about putting her foot in her mouth.

His sisters and mother had seemed so uncomfortable.
Sabrina had figured they’d thought she was rude to bring up such a
depressing subject on a holiday. Only now did she realize exactly
how upset his family must have been.

Knowing how much Ricky’s battle with the disease had
tormented her, she understood why Luke was so determined to spare
her. Watching a loved one suffer with Huntington’s had to be ten
times as horrendous.

One thing was certain—she couldn’t tell him she knew
his secret until she found a way to prove that, no matter what the
future held, she’d always love him and be by his side.

She buried the wadded up newsletter deep in the
trash and tied the bag up tight so he wouldn’t guess she’d seen
it.

Somehow she had to convince him she wanted to take
care of him and would grieve just as deeply whether she was his
wife or not.

~*~

Women would always be a mystery to Luke. It boggled
his mind how, in the space of a single hour, Sabrina could go from
being on the verge of scalding him with a mug of boiling hot coffee
to smothering him with affection. Ever since Cal left, she’d been
doting on him.

First, she’d fixed him a thick turkey club sandwich
for lunch, after which, she’d given him a long relaxing back rub.
It amazed him she hadn’t even argued when he’d told her his wrist
felt good enough to drive to Tyler and Annie’s. She’d simply handed
him her keys and helped him behind the wheel.

“Uncle Luke, you’re doin’ it wrong!” Mandy snatched
the Barbie doll and the dress out of his hand. “It’s s’pose to snap
in the back.”

Sabrina laughed, set the cucumber salad she’d
prepared for dinner on the table, and wandered into the family
room. “Your uncle doesn’t have a lot of experience dressing dolls,
Mandy. He’s much better at
undressing
them.” She smirked at
him and muttered, “Especially the live ones.”

Chuckling, he grabbed her hand and pressed his lips
to her palm. “So true.” He ruffled Mandy’s hair. “Your daddy and I
used to tease your aunt when she was a little girl by undressing
all of her dolls and leaving them naked.”

“That’s what Noah does, too.” Mandy glared at her
brother and sprang to her feet as the door to the garage swung
open. “Daddy!” She sprinted across the kitchen and flung herself
into Tyler’s arms.

“Thanks for babysitting, you two.” Tyler slapped
Luke on the back and kissed his sister on the cheek.

Annie strolled in the back door and dumped a bag of
fresh corn on the center island’s granite countertop. “How was the
baby for you?”

“Baby?” Luke grinned at Sabrina. “Was there a baby
here?”

“Don’t tell me Sam’s been asleep the whole time.”
Tyler groaned and pulled Annie back against him, murmuring into her
nape, “That’s just perfect. It’s gonna be midnight before I get you
alone again.”

Annie turned in his arms and kissed him. “Why don’t
you and Luke go grill the chicken while Sabrina and I put the rest
of our dinner on the table?”

While Tyler gathered his barbecue tools, Luke
steered his wheelchair out through the solarium to the raised
terrace and lit the gas grill.

“So how’re you doing?” Tyler asked, once he joined
him with the platter of chicken parts and a couple of cold beers.
“Does your ankle hurt much?”

“Not really.” Luke had expected a lot more
discomfort than he’d had. But, then again, Sabrina had pretty much
kept his mind focused on a more vital body part. “I take it you
didn’t talk to Ben this afternoon.”