A Heart Decision (9 page)

He turned his face away and swatted at her hand,
rejecting her even while asleep.

Ben was crazy to think a guy like Luke would do an
about-face in his attitude toward marriage. Even if he did make
love with her and, by some miracle, felt something for her—it
wouldn’t last. She couldn’t recall one woman he’d ever dated longer
than a few months. And he’d been involved with women a lot sexier
than her through the years.

But regardless, she owed it to Ben and their future
happiness to try to exorcise Luke from her dreams—even if it meant
sleeping with him for a few weeks to get him out of her system.
Except, what would she do if he gained an even stronger hold on her
heart? Could she still marry Ben? And how would it affect her
future relationship with Luke? Would she wind up hating him?

She couldn’t worry about what
might
be right
now. She could barely think straight. Making sense of her personal
train wreck would have to wait.

Rubbing her eyes, she stifled a long yawn. If she
didn’t get a nap soon she would collapse. She grabbed one of Luke’s
old police academy T-shirts from his clean laundry and headed for
the closest bedroom. Opening the door across the hall, she groaned
at the sight of wall-to-wall bookcases and a big oak desk with a
computer on it.

She scanned the shelves crammed with a wide variety
of nonfiction subjects ranging from auto mechanics to Zimbabwe.

Medical books, alone, occupied two whole shelves and
were only outnumbered by bestselling novels that, surprisingly
enough, had a few romances by her favorite authors scattered among
them.

Wow. She shook her head. In all the years she’d
known Luke, he’d never let on that he read so much or had such
varied interests. When did he find the time in between his job, his
volunteer work with kids, renovating his house, and chasing
thrills?

She closed the office door behind her and glanced up
the long hallway at the two bedroom doors beyond the stairs. As
tired as she was, she’d never hear Luke if he needed her during the
night. That left her two choices until she got the portable
intercom tomorrow. She could either stay awake or crash on the
king-size mattress beside Luke.

It was a no-brainer, seeing as her exhaustion ranked
a fifteen on a scale of ten. Besides, wasn’t his bed where she
wanted to end up, anyway?

Dusty chased her heels as she tiptoed through Luke’s
room into his bathroom to change into his soft cotton T-shirt.
Since it hung halfway to her knees, she washed out her bra and
panties in the sink.

The clock radio read six-fifteen by the time she
pulled down the shades and hoisted herself into the bed on Luke’s
right side. The moment she closed her eyes, Dusty started to whine
and whimper. She pried one eyelid open and peered down at the floor
to see him gazing up at her like a toddler left out of a game of
ring-around-the-rosie.

“Ohhh, all right.” She scrambled off the bed and
scooped him up. When she climbed back in, she scooted over to make
room for the dog so he wouldn’t disturb Luke. She stroked his soft
fur while he pawed the mattress several times and snuggled into her
side. Luke would probably give her hell for spoiling his pet.

“You miss Mopsy don’t you, sweetie?” she whispered.
“Don’t worry, your sister’s coming back tomorrow, and then you can
sleep downstairs with her.”

She had plans for this bed and Dusty’s master that
didn’t include any puppies.

~*~

Sabrina wiggled into the warmth pressed against her
bare back and tugged at the wad of fabric bunched under her
armpits. A wave of shivers rippled through her as her nipple
tightened from the delightful friction teasing it into a hard,
aching point. Moaning, she arched her back, forgot about the
irritating roll of material under her chin, and thrust her breast
toward the source of the intense pleasure.

If this was a dream, she didn’t want to wake
up—ever. Except, the rasp of stubble against the back of her neck
said she already had. She lifted her head and peered at the clock
radio lit up on the night table.

Eleven o’clock.

Luke’s calloused palm cupped her breast while his
thumb stroked idly back and forth over its erect tip, making it
ache for more. His slow, deep breaths told her that, even though
he’d shoved her shirt up around her neck and found her breast, he
was still sound asleep and caught up in an erotic dream.

Was this how Ben felt when he kissed her, wondering
who was on her mind? Despite whether Luke was making love to some
fantasy woman in his dreams or not, she wanted him way too much to
wake him up and tell him to stop.

His hand slid down her stomach and pulled her fanny
against him. She gasped at the thick hard shaft poking her in the
back.

As she squirmed against him, his breathing
accelerated to a soft panting in the crook of her neck. Suddenly,
his breath caught and the rest of his body stiffened and lay
motionless.

“Are you up?” she whispered into the darkness.

“Ohhh, yeah,” he muttered. “Or did you think I sleep
with my nightstick?”

“I wasn’t talking about your state of—” She huffed.
“I was asking if you’re awake.”

“That, too.” He sucked in a shuddering breath. “What
the hell are you doin’ in my bed?”

“Up until a few minutes ago, I was sleeping.” And
then enjoying what his wayward hand had done.

“Why here? And why are you naked?”

“I’m only nearly naked, thank you very much. I’m
wearing one of your T-shirts,” she explained, pulling its hem back
down. “But apparently you objected and tried to pull it off
me.”

“That still doesn’t explain why you’re even
here.”

Sabrina turned to face him. “If I’d slept in the
guest room, I wouldn’t have heard you if you needed me.”

“If you’d stayed in there, I
wouldn’t
need
you.”

“I guess this is a clear-cut case of creating a
demand for myself, huh?” She chuckled as Dusty scrambled over her
head to the top of the bed.

“It isn’t funny, Sabrina,” he snapped. “I won’t do
this to Ben, let alone—” The sound of the puppy’s lapping cut him
off. Luke flipped on the night table’s lamp and scrubbed his hand
over his mouth. “
Yeech
. Damn it. What’s he doing in
here—besides French kissing me?”

Sabrina pursed her lips to keep from laughing.
“Dusty was lonely, so I put him in bed with us so he’d stop
crying.”

“Next time, let him cry.”

“You’re a grouch when you wake up.”

Luke rubbed his stomach as it growled loudly. “What
I am, Princess, is starving. All I’ve had since the party on Sunday
is soda.”

She hadn’t had much more. While they’d been waiting
for the doctor to finish treating Luke, Ben had gotten her a bagel
with cream cheese from the hospital cafeteria. “I’d make us
something to eat if you had anything besides junk in the
house.”

“There’re some frozen dinners you can nuke.”

“Okay.” She flung back her side of the sheet and
slid off the high-rise bed. “I’ll go heat one and bring a tray up
to you.”

“You’d better make it two. And for dessert add some
of that so-called
junk
—” He sputtered and spit as the dog
licked his mouth again.

Chuckling, she grabbed the puppy and set him on the
floor before Luke could toss him off the mattress. “I understand
completely, sweetie.” She scratched Dusty behind his ears and knelt
down to retrieve the ice bag Luke had knocked off his side and
under the bed. “I got the same reaction when I kissed him.”

“Hey, give that back!” Sabrina hollered.

If Luke lived a thousand years, he would never
forget the sight of Sabrina on her hands and knees, wearing no
panties, as she chased Dusty, who dragged the ice bag around the
room.

It was one of those
can’t-look-away
moments.
As much as the erotic sight made his erection throb more than his
broken ankle, he couldn’t help peeking at her wiggling bare
bottom.

“Get back here.” She grabbed for the dog’s leg as he
disappeared under the bed with his booty. She crawled under Luke’s
side of the bed, leaving only the bare cheeks of her fanny and
shapely legs visible.

He spun around on his stomach and leaned over the
mattress to better admire the tantalizing view.

His tongue fought to escape his mouth as he breathed
in her heady feminine scent.

Now, he knew how Adam must’ve felt when Eve waved
that apple in front of his nose.

In this situation, a less than honorable man would
move closer and take, at the very least, a little lick if not an
actual nibble.

“Don’t you dare chew on it!” she squealed. “You’ll
put holes in it.”

He stiffened and then rolled his eyes.
She’s
talking to the damn dog, fool
.

“Come back here, you ungrateful little mongrel. To
think I actually let you sleep with me. Gotcha!” She started to
back out of Dusty’s hideout and froze as her bare bottom smacked
into Luke’s forehead. Neither of them budged for what seemed like
an eternity. Finally, he mumbled. “Uhhh, this isn’t what it seems
like.”

“Then why don’t you tell me, exactly what this
is.”

Clenching his teeth, he forced himself to lift his
head. As he carefully turned around on the mattress, he rolled to
his back.

She emerged from under the bed, her face bright
pink.

“I was just looking to—”

“Yes, so I gathered.” She panted and tugged on the
hem of the T-shirt. “Did you see anything you liked?”

Man, did he ever. “Look, let’s just forget this ever
happened.”

“Can you?” Her gaze flicked to the prominent tent in
the sheet. “Because I certainly won’t be able to.”

“We can try.” He closed his eyes to block out the
sight of her heaving breasts and tousled blonde hair.
“
Pleease—g
o fix us something to eat before we do something
we’ll regret.”

“I wouldn’t regret it,” she whispered. “I’ve wanted
to make love with you since I was fifteen. Now I want to more than
ever—especially after our rather unconventional bout of
foreplay.”

“Damn it, Sabrina.” He raked his fingers through his
hair. “How can you even think about doing that to the man you
supposedly love?”

“I assume you’re referring to Ben?”

“Who the hell else would I be referring to?”

“There’s always
you
.” Staring into his eyes,
she sank onto the edge of the bed and laid her soft hand on his
bare chest. “Luke, I love Ben. But I’m not now, nor have I ever
been,
in love
with him the way I’ve always been with you. He
knows it, and we’ve agreed to put our engagement on hold for a
while. So, if you want to make love with me, you can do it with a
clear conscience. At the moment, I’m not engaged, and Ben has no
expectation of fidelity from me.”

His heart pounded under her warm palm. As her hand
trailed down his abdomen, he grabbed her wrist and flung it away
from him. Then he lied like he’d never lied before. “Well, I don’t
want you to be in love with me. I’ve been dodging your come-ons for
so long, I would’ve thought you’d have gotten the message by now.
Damn it, I don’t want to hurt you, Brina.”

She stood and strolled over to the door. “It doesn’t
matter what you want. Whether you like it or not, life doesn’t give
us a choice about who we fall in love with.”

No one knew that better than he did. A lump the size
of a twelve-gauge shotgun casing clogged his throat as she spun on
her heels and left. He’d give anything not to love her.

He snatched the phone off the night table and slowly
stabbed out Ben’s number with his left hand. When his buddy
answered, Luke blasted him, “Why the hell are you doin’ this to
me?”

“Doing what?” Ben asked through a long yawn.

“You know very well what. If this is some kind of
twisted test of our friendship, then be prepared to be
disappointed. I can’t do this. First thing tomorrow, I’m calling an
agency and hiring a home health aide.”

“Ahhh....now I get it,” Ben said tersely. “You can’t
keep your hands off her, can you?”

“Not when she climbs half naked into my bed after I
fall asleep. And then the freaking dog and the ice bag....” Luke
huffed. “Damn it, Ben, I ended up with my nose practically in
her—”

“Stop!” Ben cut him off, pain infusing his voice.
“This is tough enough for me without hearing all the sordid
details.”

“Then why on earth did you leave her with me?”

“Because I saw the gut-punched look on your face
yesterday after I kissed her. I suddenly realized you love her. I
just want you to admit it.”

“Then you wasted your time. I’ve never denied loving
Sabrina. I’ve known her since she sucked her thumb.”

“Don’t play word games with me, jackass,” Ben
warned. “You’re not some hard-up, pimple-faced adolescent who can’t
get laid.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“If you don’t feel it’s right to sleep with her,
just say NO.
That’s what you tell all the kids in your
D.A.R.E. program.”

“Give me a break,” Luke snorted. “It’s not the
same.”

“Sure it is. If you can’t resist Sabrina long enough
to find some other woman to take care of your needs, you must
either be a dishonorable piece of scum—
which we both know you’re
not
—or you’re in love with her.”

“So what if I am.”

“Then you have as much right to marry her as I do.
And please, don’t tell me you’re denying her and yourself the
chance to be happy over some misguided sense of loyalty to me.”

“That’s a small part of it,” Luke admitted.

A week before his freshman football season ended, a
couple of his teammates had dared him to jump between two sets of
bleachers at the stadium. The challenge had come on the heels of
his brother’s first overdose and horrifying confession about why
he’d gotten hooked on drugs.