A Maine Christmas...or Two (14 page)

Another moan of protest, and this time she punctuated it by biting his neck and tilting her hips against him to increase the friction between them. “But you know what I want.”

“And you know that I want to hear you say it. Now, sweetheart. Before I insist that you give me every detail, all while looking me in the eyes.” Though he couldn’t see her face since she’d buried it at his neck, he knew her cheeks must be blushing furiously. He supposed that was one way to warm her up.

She looked up at him with a glare, and the humor in her voice made him smile. “You’re a real pain in the ass. You know that, right?”

“That can be arranged too, if it’s what you want.” When she playfully swatted at him, he couldn’t help but laugh—and damn if it didn’t feel good. “Well? I’m still waiting.”

He kissed her cheek, her jawline, her neck, loving how she arched up to give him easy access, as if offering herself to him, to do as he wished. A needy little moan escaped her, though it was laced with frustration. “
Fine
. Fine. I want you…your cock…in me.”

“Is that all?” His kisses wandered down her neck to the slope of her shoulder, as his hands went to her hips and, with a small lift, seated her onto his hard length. Her exhale was so full of satisfaction and contentment, he couldn’t help but laugh. “Better?”

“Yes…
sooo
much better.” She rolled her hips along his shaft as he sat up and caught her nipple, first one and then the other, sucking and nipping as her movements quickened.

He picked up his pace, thrusting up from under her, even as he pulled the blankets up over her shoulders. He was still worried about her getting chilled, and wasn’t convinced their current activities wouldn’t set her recovery back. Not that he could stop now, even if he wanted to.

She was so tight, so slick—so fucking gorgeous—it left his head spinning and had him wondering if he’d ever get his fill of her. It seemed she’d walked right into his life and, like a whirlwind, turned everything he knew on its head. The thought that the storm would eventually blow over and she’d soon be leaving left him wondering if he might be able to convince her to come back for a visit. Or maybe he should ask her to stay…

He kissed her, letting his tongue play over hers, as he took all she had to offer. He didn’t know how much longer he’d be able to hold out, and he knew with the pace they were setting and with the eager whimpers she couldn’t quite contain, she wasn’t going to last long either.

She grew tight around him as he gripped her hips in his tight grasp, their pace growing frenzied. “Come for me. Now, love.”

And she did—her body shuddering against him as she cried out and he joined her in his release, his cock pumping into her until he was spent and there was nothing but the two of them, the rest of the world falling away.

C
hloe tried not
to get defensive as Aidan questioned her about trying to leave the night before. He was still holding her close, which certainly helped matters, but she really didn’t want to explain to him the reason why it was so important that she get the chance to spend the holidays with her family. Not that she’d be going anywhere with the storm still raging.

“I didn’t want to be in your way. I know you’re not used to company—Finn said you liked your privacy. And then we’d argued, and you were looking so miserable…I just figured I’d grab the desk and go. I’d spend the night at the B&B, and then see if I could get off the island. Maybe speak to the police about opening the bridge.” She snuggled deeper into his embrace, her head propped against his chest.

“Firstly, they don’t open that bridge for anyone, unless it’s an actual emergency—and I’m talking medical, life-or-death stuff. But even if you made it off the island, the roads are still dangerous, Chloe.” He shook his head, but there was also a tension and annoyance in him that she hadn’t expected. “I get that you want to spend the holidays with your family, but for fuck’s sake, you need to keep yourself safe, first and foremost.”

“Yeah, I know…” And she did. Sort of. If it was anything else, she’d have no problem canceling her plans, but the fact that she’d be disappointing her father—yet again—left her frustrated and miserable. She shouldn’t care. She was always going out of her way to take care of her family, and yet it never quite seemed enough. “It’s just one of those family things. My father…”

“The one the desk’s for…” He sat up just enough to look at her, though the intensity of his gaze had her pulling away. “Seems like you’re really going out of your way for him.”

“It’s complicated.” She distracted herself with the blanket, running her fingers along the lines of the plaid, trying to avoid looking at him while she spoke. “My mom’s gone, so he’s alone and…I’m the oldest. My two brothers were really young at the time and my dad needed help.”

“So you essentially stepped into the role of your mother to help raise them.” He ran a gentle hand down her back, and then pulled her in close. “How old were you when she passed?”

“Fourteen.” Far too young to deal with losing a parent, and yet those were the cards fate had dealt her, and there was no giving them back.

“I can’t imagine taking on such responsibility at that age.” He let out a ragged sigh and held her to him as she tried to push away the memories. “I can see why you’ve been wanting to get home, but you know he’ll be understanding. Especially when it’s out of your control.”

“What he’ll be is disappointed—
again
.” The moment the words were out of her mouth, she regretted speaking them out loud. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

She tried to pull away, wanting nothing more than to escape to her room and bury herself under the blankets, because she knew Aidan wasn’t going to let this go. She’d do anything to end this discussion, and as if sensing she might bolt, he tightened his hold.

“Wait…what do you mean, he’ll be disappointed?” He looked at her as if he couldn’t quite grasp the concept. “You can’t really mean that. Are you sure you’re not just reading into it?”

She took it as an out, even if she knew it wasn’t the truth. “I’m sure I am.” She managed a smile, though she knew she was a horrible liar.

“You really do think he’s disappointed in you…” His eyes narrowed in disbelief and with a simmering anger. “I just don’t understand how that could happen. Did something happen?”

She shrugged. “I was selfish—I put myself first when it came to college. I could have gone to a local community school, but instead I went out to the Berkshires and that meant leaving them behind to fend for themselves.”

“And by fend for themselves, you mean an adult man and two teenage boys would have to make do without you to take care of them.” His brows were raised, his jaw was tight, and he was
not happy
.

“It wasn’t just for school. It was work, too…I left for Boston. Got a job straight out of college. But I send them money. I go and visit. I try.” She cupped his cheek and kissed him, hoping it’d ease the tension that was pouring off him in waves. He had his own problems to deal with and she didn’t need to add to them.

“Sounds to me like you not only try, but do more than your share. Not that he sees it. Am I right?” He slowly shook his head, his hazel eyes burning with anger. “And you’ve likely been bending over backwards so he won’t be disappointed.”

“It doesn’t matter, Aidan. Honestly.” She just had to live her life—
her
life, not the one her father wanted for her. “I’m an adult and I make my own decisions. I’m okay with that.”

He cupped the back of her neck and pulled her close, kissing her head. “Of course you are, love. I just hate to see you killing yourself so as not to disappoint him, when it sounds to me like it doesn’t matter what you do.”

“If I moved back home…” Not that she would.

“Do you really think that would make him happy? Or would he just move on to the next thing on his list? Something new to be disappointed in. Because people like that aren’t ever happy, love.” He cupped her face in his hands and held her gaze. “And you deserve so much better than that.”

She gave him a shrug and let him hold her in his strong arms. “Unfortunately, we don’t always get what we deserve.”

Chloe leaned back against Aidan as they sat in front of the fire. Though she was no longer feeling the effects of nearly freezing her butt off, Aidan had insisted she stay put, even as he got them leftover chili for dinner and made her fireplace s’mores for dessert.

“Thanks for all this…you’ve been really sweet to me.” And he had been, even though his mood had grown sullen as the day trickled into the evening.

“It’s the least I can do after being such a jerk last night.” He ran a finger down her cheek and then settled back against the sofa with a sigh.

“You weren’t the only one at fault. I read too much into it, Aidan. I think I was being overly sensitive because of my own problems.” She linked her hand with his, wanting some sort of connection between them, since it felt like he was drifting further and further away with each passing moment. “Aidan…I hope you know that I’m here for you if you want to talk. I don’t know what sort of demons you’re struggling with, but…”

“My demons are my own to deal with, Chloe. There’s nothing anyone can do to fix my problems.” As if punctuating his hurt and anger, the winds howled away as branches beat against the house. “
You
can’t fix this—and you can’t fix me. Are we clear?”

“Yeah…crystal.” She told herself not to let it bother her. He was upset, and it wasn’t because of her or anything she’d done, but rather because of things that were outside of their control. And yet it hurt that he was pushing her away.

Part of her felt foolish for thinking that he might open up to her after she’d told him about her family and their problems. She knew better. And yet she was quickly realizing that the reason she’d expected him to let her in on his troubles was because she was reading far more into whatever it was that they were doing. She had stupidly started to fall for him, when he was
not
emotionally available.

He cursed under his breath. “I know I’m being an asshole, Chloe. But it’s who I am—and you deserve better than that, even if you only have to put up with me for a few days. I just can’t be anything else. And for that, I’m sorry.”

“You’re not an asshole. I just stupidly thought…” When her eyes started to sting, she was thankful that they didn’t have many lights on as they sat by the fire.

“You thought what? That this would turn into some happily ever after?” He scoffed and shook his head. Though his words stung, she could hear the hurt in his voice. “Well, it’s not going to happen. I live in a nightmare—not some goddamned fairytale. And the last thing I’m going to do is drag you down with me.”

“So it’s perfectly fine for us to discuss
my
issues and problems, but your issues are off-limits. Instead, I get to just sit idly by and watch your mood sour with each passing minute, so I’m left thinking I’d rather brave a blizzard than stay here and feel miserable.” And she would, because the longer she stayed here, the more unbearable it got. She couldn’t bear to see him hurting. It was killing her.

“You’re going nowhere, Chloe. It’s not even up for discussion. Do you hear me?” He may have been in a bad mood before, but right now he was downright furious with her.

Well, she had a temper too, and though she was trying to stay reasonable, she refused to let him push her around. “That’s not a decision you get to make on my behalf. I’m not saying I’m going anywhere, since I know the roads are impossible to navigate, but whether I come or go is
my
choice and mine alone.”

His lips curled up in a smug smile that still carried his anger with it. “Sweetheart, I’d have you locked in my room before I let you go out in that storm.”

“Oh, sure…why don’t you just cuff me to your bed while you’re at it?” She was furious and got up to go, though he was quick on her heels. If she thought she’d be able to get away from him, she was gravely mistaken.

He pulled her into his arms and held her close, her body pinned to his as he nipped at her neck, his breath hot on her skin. “Don’t tempt me, sweetheart. You’d be a fine sight tied to my bed.”

She did her best to ignore the shiver of need that raced through her, her body’s reaction to him—to his words—instantaneous, especially when her memories of their coupling were still so vivid in her mind. “Just because you have bucket loads of money and are used to people letting you be a grump does
not
mean I have to put up with it. Even if I am trapped in this house with you.”

The lights flickered off and then on as she growled out a cry of frustration over everything and pulled out of his grasp. She cursed herself for getting emotional and letting any of this bother her. As soon as the storm blew over, she’d be gone, and he’d be nothing but a memory and a heartache.

“Do you think this is easy for me? Do you think I just woke up one morning and decided to close myself off from the world? Well, I didn’t, Chloe. I had my life stolen from me. Turned upside down.”

“Then let me be here for you. For fuck’s sake, Aidan—let me in. There’s no reason to go through this alone.” Her anger was turning to sorrow, and it left her heart breaking for him. Yet there was little she could do for him if he didn’t trust her enough to open up to her. “I’ve seen glimpses of what you’re like when you’re happy…and I want that for you. I don’t know what happened, but you have to let it go. You can’t let it consume you.”

He just hung his head looking so defeated, she couldn’t help but forget her anger with him. “That’s just it…I don’t deserve to be happy. Not when…”

She slipped her arms around his waist and held him tightly, wondering when he’d managed to claim her heart. “Everyone deserves a bit of happiness, Aidan. I don’t know what happened to make you think otherwise, but you’re mistaken. I know I haven’t known you long, but I don’t need years to figure out that you’re a good man.”

“No—what I am is a greedy and self-centered man.” He pulled away from her and started to pace, his body tense with anger and hurt, his face contorted by the pain. “I was too busy to give a shit about what was happening around me, and others paid the price. Two lives…” His voice cracked then, as did her heart. “And their blood is on
my
hands. That’s something I’ll have to live with the rest of my life.”