Authors: Carrie Turansky
Adrie pressed her lips together as she watched him go. A tear overflowed and spilled down her cheek.
“Oh, honey, why the tears?”
“I’m just not sure this is the right thing.”
“We’ll be fine. Don’t worry. Ross is an excellent manager, and I’m on the mend.”
Adrie clasped her hands in her lap. “I know. What I mean is I’m not sure I should go to the audition.”
Her grandmother sat back. “But this is your chance to have what you’ve always wanted. Why this sudden change of heart?” She looked toward the door and back at Adrie. “Is it because of Ross?”
Adrie swallowed. “Partly. The thought of leaving him is just… I don’t even want to think about it.”
Nana sent her a sympathetic smile. “Do you love him?”
Adrie lifted her gaze to meet her grandmother’s. “I could, if I let myself.”
“Have you told him how you feel?”
She shook her head. “I said I only want to be friends, and I’m afraid he believes me.”
“Why don’t you just tell him what’s in your heart?”
“And what if I do? Does that mean I give up my chance to play professionally?”
“But to say goodbye to someone you love? Is it worth that much to you?”
She closed her eyes, trying to make sense of her jumbled thoughts and emotions. “I know God’s given me a gift. And when I play, I feel a deep sense of connection with Him, like that’s what I was born to do. How can I give that up?”
“No one’s saying you have to give up your music.”
“I know, but that’s not the only issue.” Adrie’s heart clenched. “Ross has never said he loves me, and he’s never asked me to stay.”
Nana clicked her tongue. “Maybe he’s holding back because he knows how much your music means to you.”
Adrie groaned and laid her head back on the couch. “What am I supposed to do, Nana? I’m so confused.”
“I’m not sure, honey, but God knows. He has a plan just for you.” Nana laid her hand on Adrie’s arm. “Why don’t we pray and see what He says?”
Adrie sighed, rubbing her eyes, feeling tired and discouraged and definitely not in the mood to pray. “You really think that will help?”
“I
know
it will. Then you just need to be watching and listening for His answer.”
A tiny spark of hope ignited in her heart. Maybe Nana was right. Maybe God could help her make sense out of all these decisions if she would just take time to stop and ask Him. She bowed her head. “Okay, Nana. Let’s pray.”
Ross trudged down the steps and out to his car, feeling like fifty-pound weights were chained to his feet.
Adrie was leaving. He knew it was coming. He should’ve been prepared, but the news hit him hard, like someone had kicked him behind the knees and knocked him down. With a low growl, he climbed in his car and slammed the door.
Closing his eyes, he leaned forward and rested his head on the steering wheel.
Lord, what am I supposed to do? I love Adrie. I don’t want her to go. But I can’t ask her to stay. She’s been working toward this her whole life. But just thinking about sending her off is killing me.
He pulled in a deep breath and tried to think clearly.
He loved Adrie.
So that meant he should do what was best for her. Holding on to her or begging her to stay would just cause more pain for both of them. He wouldn’t hurt her like that.
Another shaft of pain sliced through his chest. He not only had to let Adrie go, he needed to encourage her and send her off with his best wishes for the future.
He sank lower in his seat.
Lord, there’s no way I can do that on my own. You’re going to have to help me.
He waited there a few more minutes, silently praying and asking God for strength.
Finally, he reached for his phone and tapped in Ray Clarkson’s number. As he waited for the call to go through competing thoughts fought in his mind. Ray picked up after the third ring.
“This is Ross Peterson. I wanted to get back to you about the photo studio.” He gripped the phone and forced out the next words. “I appreciate your confidence in me, but I’m not going to be able to follow through on that offer.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, Ross. I was hoping we could make a deal.”
“So was I.”
“If the rate of the buyout is too steep, I’m open to changing the terms.”
“No, your offer is more than generous.”
“Not sure what I’ll do now. George doesn’t want to keep things running too much longer. If you don’t want the business, I suppose I’ll have to shut it down and put the building up for sale.”
Ross gritted his teeth and held back a groan. All that equipment, all those contacts and years of goodwill down the drain.
“Are you sure about this, Ross? If you need more time, I could give you a few more weeks to think it over.”
“No, I need to stay at Bayside Books. With Marian out of commission, they need me more than ever.”
“George told me about Marian’s fall. How’s she doing?”
“We brought her home from the hospital today, but the doctor wants her to stay off her feet for a few weeks.”
“Good thing she has you and Adrie to manage the store.”
Ross shook his head. “Adrie just got invited down in Portland for an audition. She’s leaving on Thursday.”
Ray huffed. “That puts you in a real spot. How are you going to run things without her?”
“I don’t know. I’ll figure something out.”
“I admire you, Ross, keeping your word to Marian and holding down the store for her while Adrie’s away. George told me that she wants to play in a symphony. Do you think she’ll get that position?”
He hesitated, wishing he could give a different answer. “I’m afraid she will, Ray.”
Adrie sank down on the stool behind the bookstore sales counter, kicked off one shoe and rubbed her sore toes. She had spent too many hours on her feet the last few days. And her toes weren’t the only problem. A slight headache had been inching its way up her neck during the last half hour.
Had she eaten lunch? She glanced at the clock. It was already past two—definitely time for a break and some nourishment. She reached for her cup of chai, took a sip and grimaced. Cold chai was not going to do the trick.
“I’ll be right back,” she called to Ross.
He stood in the biography section, shelving a box of books. “Take your time,” he said without looking her way.
She walked toward the café. Though she prayed about her decision every day, she didn’t sense a clear answer or reason to change course. She and Ross had worked side by side all week, but the only comment he had made about her trip to Portland was on Tuesday, when he had asked if she wanted him to bring in her mail. She stared at him for a few seconds, trying to absorb the fact that he didn’t seem to care she might be leaving Fairhaven for good. With a stiff nod, she thanked him, then excused herself to cry in the bathroom.
Thinking of it now, her head pounded harder, and her stomach felt like she’d swallowed a rock. Here she was on the eve of the most wonderful opportunity of her life, and she’d never felt more miserable.
But her plans were set. Tomorrow morning at seven, she’d load her car and head to Portland. She’d called Charity and told her that she was coming to audition. Her friend was thrilled and invited her to stay through the weekend. Adrie agreed, hoping she might hear the audition results while she was there.
“Hello, sweetie.” Irene smiled at her from behind the café counter. “Can I get you something?”
“Would you stick this in the microwave?” She passed Irene her cold cup of chai.
“Sure thing.” Irene placed it in the microwave and glanced over her shoulder at Adrie. “Everything okay?”
“I’m exhausted. I’ve been running like a crazy woman all week.”
“Getting ready for your big audition?”
Adrie nodded, but she couldn’t summon up a smile.
“Well, you sure look pretty today. I love that royal-blue sweater. It makes your eyes sparkle like sapphires.”
A slight smile lifted the corners of her mouth. “Irene, you are so sweet.”
“Well, it’s true, and I think a certain someone agrees with me.” She wiggled her eyebrows and tilted her head to the left.
Ross walked down the aisle toward the café.
Adrie leaned toward Irene. “Shh, you don’t want to embarrass me, do you?”
Irene’s eyes grew large, and she quickly covered her mouth to hold back a giggle.
Ross stepped up next to Adrie. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” Irene grabbed a cloth and began vigorously wiping the counter.
Ross sent her a quizzical look. “Could you pour me a cup of coffee?”
“Coming right up.” Irene reached for Ross’s mug.
He turned to Adrie. “You want to sit down for a minute?”
“Do you think Mandy is okay up front?” They’d just hired the young woman two days ago.
“I told her to holler if she needs help.”
“Okay. I could use a break.” Adrie took her chai and a banana nut muffin and walked over to the table in the corner.
Ross sat across from her. “So, are you ready for your trip to Portland?”
Her hand stilled, and she looked up at him. “I finished packing last night.”
He nodded, his expression revealing nothing. “Good.”
Good? He thought it was good she was ready to leave?
Her heart chilled a few more degrees.
“Did you hear they canceled the Christmas Boat Parade last weekend because of the storm?”
She bit into her muffin and shook her head. It tasted like sawdust in her mouth.
“They rescheduled it for tonight at six. I was thinking I’d drive down to the bay and watch.” He took a sip of his coffee. “Would you like to come?”
She blinked and almost choked on her bite of muffin. “That sounds fun.”
“Is that a yes?”
“Can Mandy and Irene stay until seven?”
He nodded. “They’re both here until closing.”
Maybe this was the answer to her prayer, and Ross would finally share what was in his heart. “Okay. I’d love to see the boat parade.”
His expression brightened. “How about we pick up some pizza to take along?”
She smiled and nodded. “I’d like that.”
Three hours later darkness cloaked Fairhaven, and stars twinkled overhead. Adrie held the warm box of pizza on her lap as Ross drove toward the bay. She glanced over at him, and bittersweet memories filled her mind. How could she have known him for only four months? It seemed much longer. They’d spent a lot of time together, and that had drawn them closer. But it was more than that. Ross understood her past and how that had shaped her. He’d taken time to discover what she liked and what was important to her. When she needed someone to talk to, he was always there.
How could she drive away tomorrow into a future without him?
But that was exactly what was going to happen, and he didn’t seem inclined to stop her. Tears stung her eyes and she quickly looked away.
Ross pulled into a parking spot near the Taylor Avenue Dock. “I think we can see pretty well from here.”
She pushed her troubled thoughts away, determined to enjoy this precious time with him. “This is perfect. Ready for some pizza?”
“More than ready.” He turned toward her, his eyes glowing with some undefined emotion.
She passed him a couple of napkins, then opened the box and offered him first pick. The scent of sausage and pepperoni drifted up and made her mouth water. “This was a great idea.”
He grinned. “You mean the pizza or the boat parade?”
“Both.” Her throat clogged, and she had a hard time swallowing her bite.
“Look, here they come.” A sailboat drifted by with colorful lights strung from the top of the mast to the bow and stern and all around the riggings.
Adrie leaned forward. “It’s so pretty.”
The first boat sailed on and another soon followed. This one had white lights in the shape of a star on top of the mast and strings of lights leading down to a manger scene on the deck.
“Wow, that one’s nice,” Ross said between bites.
Adrie nodded, savoring her pizza and the twinkling lights, but most of all just being with Ross.
“So what was Christmas like in Kenya when you were growing up?”
Memories came flooding back, and she turned to him with a smile. “We had the whole month of December off from school so we could travel home and spend that time with our family. My mom would decorate the house and bake lots of cookies. Then the week before Christmas, we’d drive up to the mountains and cut a small pine tree.”
“You’re kidding. They have pine trees in Kenya?”
She chuckled and nodded. “We made paper birds and stars to decorate the tree, and sometimes we cut out pictures from Christmas cards to make ornaments. Then on Christmas Day we exchanged handmade gifts, and we went to church where they had a pageant and acted out the Christmas story. It was a simple celebration compared to what people do here, but I loved it.”