Authors: Carrie Turansky
“Sounds nice.”
“I’m blessed. My parents and brother are far away, but I’ll always have those memories. Now Nana and I have our own fun traditions.”
“Like what?”
“We’re busy at the store right up to Christmas Eve, but we always close early enough so we can go to the candlelight service at church. Then we have a special breakfast together on Christmas morning and exchange gifts. After that we call my family and a few other relatives. Then we just relax and enjoy the day. In the evening we usually watch
It’s a Wonderful Life
or
While You Were Sleeping
.”
Her smile dimmed. How often would she see her grandmother if she moved to Portland? She might be able to drive home for holidays, but everything about her daily life would change. She’d have to find a new church and get used to a new job with all its pressures and expectations.
Ross reached for her hand. “I’m glad we can share tonight. Sort of a nice way you can add to those Christmas memories.”
She wove her fingers through his and tears stung her eyes. This might be her first and last Christmas season with Ross.
The boat parade sailed on for another thirty minutes. They finished the pizza and Adrie set the empty box on the car floor.
When the last boat floated out of sight, she shifted in her seat and turned toward him. Her pulse sped up. Maybe now he’d finally tell her what was in his heart. Surely if he loved her, he’d say he didn’t want her to go.
With a sad smile, he reached for his keys. “I better get you home. You have a big day tomorrow. You need to get a good night’s sleep so you can do your best at the audition.”
Go ahead, tell him that you love him. Say it!
But the words stuck in her throat.
They drove home in silence, and when he pulled into the parking lot behind the store, she felt like her heart would break. He was a great friend, probably the best she’d ever had, but he didn’t love her. If he did, surely he wouldn’t let her go. Not like this. Not without a word.
She pushed open the door and climbed out before he could circle the car and open it for her. She reached back and grabbed the empty pizza box and her purse.
“Here, let me take that.” He held out his hand for the pizza box.
She passed it to him, then watched him walk over and toss it in the trash. This was her chance to walk away and not face another painful goodbye, but she couldn’t do it. Not yet.
He walked back toward her, and without a word he slipped his arms around her, pulling her close. “I’ll miss you, Adrie.”
She held on tight, her heart breaking.
He leaned back and looked into her eyes. “I’ll be praying for you and asking God to help you do your best.”
She pressed her lips together and nodded. Words were impossible.
Then he leaned down and gave her a featherlight kiss on her forehead, like a dear friend saying goodbye.
Ross paced across the living room, then turned and strode back toward the kitchen. He was going to wear a path through the carpet at this rate. The apartment was dark except for one small lamp that glowed on the end table, and a faint light from a half moon shone through the window.
He’d gone to bed just after ten, but sleep wouldn’t come. In just a few hours, the woman he loved was leaving town and most likely changing the course of her life forever.
Was it fair to send her off without telling her the truth? If she knew he loved her, would she change her mind? Why hadn’t he told her when he’d held her in his arms? The words had rushed through his mind, begging to be set free, but he’d held back, determined to do what he thought was best for her. Now he wasn’t so sure.
But if he spoke up, and she turned down this opportunity, how would she feel later? Would the constant shadow of regret hang over their relationship, making her wish she’d stayed true to her plans? Would she grow to resent him?
If she really cared for him, she wouldn’t leave him like this, would she?
Maybe he was a fool to think she could love someone like him—a man with a failed business, an empty bank account and an unknown future.
He sank down on the couch and lowered his head into his hands.
Lord, I thought I heard You speaking to me through Cam and George. I’ve tried to follow that advice and be a good friend to Adrie. I really thought her heart would soften and she’d come around, but she’s leaving tomorrow. What am I supposed to do now?
He waited, listening for direction, but the only sound he heard was the steady beat of his heart drumming in his ears. After a couple more minutes of silence, one truth rose and filled his mind. If he loved Adrie, then he had to let her make this decision on her own. His role was to pray and send her off with encouraging words.
He released a deep sigh, letting go of his desire to keep her close and have her for his own. Closing his eyes, he hung on to the truths that anchored his soul—God was still in control. He knew what was best, and Ross was determined to trust Him no matter what happened.
Rising from the couch, he walked to his desk and grabbed a pen. At least he could write her a note and tell her she would always have his friendship and a very special place in his heart.
Chapter Twenty-One
A
drie pulled her keys from her purse and unlocked the trunk of her car. Her hand stilled as she looked up at the pale pink eastern sky. Silver frost dusted the branches of the fir trees at the end of the parking lot. She took a slow deep breath, receiving the beauty of the morning as a comforting gift, but her heart still ached.
Somehow she had to find the strength to get in her car and drive to Portland. With a quiet shake of her head, she lifted her suitcase into the trunk and closed it with a gentle thud. She took the scraper from the glove compartment and started the car. Her hand shook slightly as she grasped the plastic scraper and slid it over her frosty windshield.
If only she could clear away the painful, icy coating covering her heart.
She’d prayed again this morning, but no new revelation came. Her grandmother’s words from their last conversation rose in her mind.
If the Lord hasn’t given you any new direction, then just follow the last thing He told you. Trust Him, honey.
A bakery truck rumbled down the street. The wind whistled under the back eaves. She shivered and zipped her jacket higher, then placed her flute case, computer bag and a tissue-stuffed gift bag for Charity in the backseat along with her purse.
Climbing in the car, she closed her eyes.
Lord, You’ve opened this door for me, and I’m willing to walk through it. But my heart is so heavy. Please give me the strength I need. I’ll go and do my best, and leave the decision up to You. But if this is not Your will, and You have another path for me, please show me. I’d turn around in a minute if You make it clear I should be going a different way.
Lifting her gaze to Ross’s dark window, she wished the light would come on and he’d lean out and beg her not to go. But he was probably sound asleep, unaware that she was driving away with a broken heart.
She brushed one last tear from her cheek and drove out of the parking lot. For the next hour she continued to wrestle, pray and beg God to give her peace and clarity for her future.
As she approached Everett, she noticed her fuel gauge was close to E, so she pulled off the interstate. A few blocks from the exit she found a gas station and drove up to the pump. She hopped out and opened the back door. As she lifted her purse, an envelope slid off the backseat and dropped to the floor. Her name was printed on the front in Ross’s familiar handwriting.
Her breath caught in her throat, and she reached for the envelope. With trembling fingers, she carefully opened it and pulled out a note card with a photo of a beautiful purple starfish on the front. She bit her lip and read the message.
Dear Adrie,
I wanted you to know I’m praying for you as you go to the audition. I’m sure you’ll blow them away when you play. They would be crazy not to hire you on the spot and give you the chance you deserve and have worked toward for so long.
I am proud of you for your determination to see your dream come true. I feel honored that God would call me to fill in for you at the bookstore so you can be free to follow that dream.
But I would not be a true friend if I didn’t tell you that saying goodbye and sending you off is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I love you, Adrie, with all my heart. And it’s because of that love that I can wish you well and pray you will find God’s very best for your life.
Until then, know that you have a friend who treasures you.
You’ll always have my love,
Ross
Tears flooded her eyes. He wasn’t sending her off because he didn’t love her. He was releasing her because of his love.
Her heart swelled. She blinked to clear her eyes and read the note once more, letting the tender words soothe and comfort her. Then she noticed an arrow at the bottom, encouraging her to turn the card over and read the back.
I wanted to give you this early Christmas present. Maybe it will remind you of that morning on the beach when we shared our first kiss.
Ross
Pushing aside her computer case, she spotted the small rectangular box wrapped in silver paper and tied with a slim red satin ribbon.
Her heart began to pound as she slipped off the paper and opened the box. She gasped and smiled through her tears. Inside, lying on a bed of soft cotton, was a lovely silver necklace interspersed with aqua sea glass beads and silver charms—starfish, seagulls, fish and clamshells. The design was exquisite and obviously handmade by a jewelry designer. She fingered the beautiful beads, each one tumbled by the sea to a unique shape and size. She lifted it to her lips and closed her eyes.
The words of the card were beautiful, but the necklace declared his love in an even deeper way.
Thank You, Lord.
Her phone chirped, alerting her to a message. She pulled it from her purse, hoping it might be Ross. But her grandmother’s name flashed on the screen. She lifted it to her ear and listened to the voice mail. “Call me, honey. As soon as you can.” Adrie tapped the screen and called her grandmother.
“Nana, are you all right?”
“Yes, I’m fine. But I spoke to George this morning, and I think you should know what’s going on.”
Adrie’s stomach clenched. “What do you mean?”
“Ray wants to turn over his studio to Ross, but Ross turned him down.”
“Because of the bookstore?”
“Yes, but mostly because he didn’t want you to miss out on this opportunity in Portland.”
“Oh, that crazy guy, what is he thinking?”
“He’s thinking he loves you, and he doesn’t want to let you down.”
“But he shouldn’t give up a chance like this. He’s an amazing photographer. Having his own studio again, that’s his dream. That’s what he’s been saving for.”
“Exactly, and he’s willing to give that all up for you. If that doesn’t prove he loves you, then I don’t know what would.”
“He gave me the sweetest card and a beautiful necklace.” Adrie’s voice choked off.
“I guess you don’t have to wonder about his feelings anymore.”
“No, he’s made them pretty clear.”
Her grandmother waited a few seconds. “I just thought you should know before you get too far down the road.”
“Thanks, Nana. It means a lot.” She ended the call and slipped the phone back in her purse. Then she picked up the necklace and ran her fingers over the silver clamshell.
Ross glanced at his watch. Had Adrie reached Seattle yet on her way to Portland? Was the weather still clear or had those icy road conditions he’d read about online slowed her down?
This morning just after seven he’d stood at his bedroom window in the dark and watched her pull out of the parking lot. Had she found the card and gift he’d left in the backseat? He checked his phone again, but there were no missed calls, messages or texts.
So much for baring his soul and proclaiming his love.
He lowered himself onto the stool behind the sales counter and stared out the bookstore’s front window. It was going to be a long four days. Would she call him after the audition? If he didn’t hear from her by tonight maybe he’d call her.
He slowly shook his head, rejecting that idea. He’d made the last move with the card and gift. It was up to her now to decide if she wanted something more in their relationship.
“Do you want me to unlock the front door? It’s a little past nine.” Mandy walked toward him from the back of the store where she had been dusting and straightening the gift section.
“Sure.” He passed her the keys. These early holiday hours made it a long day, but at least their sales numbers were increasing.
“Everything okay, boss? You look a little green around the gills.”
He rubbed his eyes. “I’m okay.” But he hadn’t slept much last night and it obviously showed.
Mandy unlocked the front door and flipped the OPEN sign. The door burst open, setting the bell jingling. Marian, Irene, Barb and Hannah trooped in and headed straight for the sales counter.
Ross sprung from his stool. “Marian, what are you doing here? I thought the doctor said you were supposed to stay home and take it easy.”
“He did, but I’m fine. The Treasures chauffeured me.”
“We’ve got a bone to pick with you.” Barb sent him a stern glance.
“Me?” Ross blinked and looked around the group.
“George called this morning,” Marian said. “He told me about Ray’s offer to turn his photo studio over to you.” She placed her good hand on her hip. “How could you turn that down?”
Surprise rippled through Ross. He hadn’t expected George to tell Marian. “I didn’t think it was the right time to leave, especially when you’ve got your arm in a sling and Adrie is headed out of town.”
Barb crossed her arms. “We think you ought to reconsider.”
Irene’s eyes widened and she sent him a sweet smile. “It’s a perfect opportunity for you.”
“Remember how much you loved having your own studio at the Arts Center?” Hannah gave him an encouraging nod. “This is your chance for a fresh start.”
Ross rubbed his chin. “But I don’t see how it would work. Mandy can’t run the store on her own, Marian can’t carry boxes of books, and Adrie…might be moving to Portland.”
“You’re right,” Marian said. “And that’s why these ladies are volunteering to help out until I’m ready to come back to work. I’ll hire a new manager. Don’t worry about that. If you’ll stay through Christmas, we can free you up so you can take over for Ray in January.”
Ross slowly shook his head. “Wow, I don’t know what to say.”
Irene clasped her hands to her chest. “Say yes, and promise you’ll call Ray today.”
“But I’m not sure his offer still stands. He was talking about closing the studio and selling the building.”
Marian tipped her head and smiled. “I happen to have a little influence with George, and I’m sure he can convince Ray to give you some more time.”
Ross’s throat clogged. He stepped forward and hugged Marian. “Thank you.”
“No need to thank me. It’s the right thing to do.” She smiled up at him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “The girls and I haven’t had our coffee yet, so we’re—”
The bell over the front door jingled again, and they all turned toward the door.
Adrie stepped inside wearing her lavender ski coat with a purple scarf around her neck. The tip of her nose and her cheeks glowed a pretty pink from the cold. “How come the back door’s still locked?”
He blinked and his mouth dropped open. “Adrie? What are you doing here?”
She walked toward him, her blue eyes twinkling with starry light and her smile glowing like she had discovered a wonderful secret. “I got as far as Everett, then I stopped for gas and found the envelope and this.” She lifted her hand and touched the sea glass beads around her neck. “As soon as I read your note I knew I had the answer to my prayer.”
He stepped around the counter and walked toward her. “What prayer? What do you mean?”
They met in the fiction section, and she reached for his hands. “I asked the Lord to stop me if I was headed in the wrong direction. And that’s just what He did.”
“But what about the audition?”
Tears misted her eyes, and she sent him a tremulous smile. “I’m not going.”
“Oh, Adrie, are you sure? I don’t want to hold you back from following your dream.”
She sniffed and shook her head. “You’re not holding me back. You opened the door to your heart and helped me believe in love again. That’s the only dream I want.”
His heart swelled. He leaned down and kissed her, and she tasted like cinnamon and sugar and all the sweetness his heart could ever hold.
Marian, Irene, Barb and Hannah broke out with clapping and cheers.
Adrie laughed softly and rested her forehead against his. “You know they planned this from the first day we met.”
He grinned and winked at her. “They’re not the only ones.” Then he kissed her once more, just to be sure she knew how glad he was that she’d turned her car around and driven back home to Fairhaven.
Adrie couldn’t stop smiling and laughing as she made the rounds to hug Irene, Barb and Hannah. Finally she faced her grandmother with glistening eyes. “Thanks for praying for me, Nana.”
“You’re welcome, sweetie. That’s what grandmas do.” She hugged Adrie, then turned to Ross. “Why don’t you take the rest of the morning off? Go out for breakfast or take a walk. The girls and I can stay and run the store.”
Ross sent Marian a pointed look. “Only if you promise to sit in the café and not do too much.”
Barb slipped her arm around Marian’s shoulder. “We’ll make sure she behaves herself.”
“Are you sure you want to stay, Nana? Ross and I could drive you home.”
“I’ll be fine. I’ve missed playing Scrabble with the Treasures.” Nana shooed them toward the back door. “Go on. I’m sure you two have a lot to talk about.”
“Okay.” Adrie smiled up at Ross.
He chuckled as he grabbed his coat off the hook by the office. “How about driving down to the bay?”
“That sounds perfect.”
Ten minutes later they strolled down Taylor Avenue Dock as a cool breeze blew in from the bay. Adrie tugged her hat down over her ears, thankful they’d both worn warm coats and scarves. They stopped and leaned against the railing, gazing out across the rippling water toward the misty blue San Juan Islands.