Kelsey turned and threw her arms around Theresa's neck. "Oh, Miss Rogers! Why did my mother have to die? Why can't my dad get over her? It's not fair!
I
love you. Why can't he?"
Holding the little girl in her arms, Theresa wanted to cry, too. Why had she let herself fall in love with Austin? Kelsey was right. Life did suck.
She stroked the long blonde hair, comforting the child who was close to her heart, despite her stubborn, frustrating father. Theresa couldn't do anything about Austin, but she sure as hell could do something for Kelsey.
One more hug and she leaned back, taking Kelsey's chin in her hand, making her meet her eyes. "Your dad can't love me. I realize that and you have to accept it. Although I'm hurting now, I will go on with my life. And so will you. No matter what happens, it doesn't affect how I feel about you. You and I have a special bond. Nothing can change that. I can't be your mom, but I can always be your friend."
Kelsey wiped the tears from her eyes. "It's not the same," she said with a sniff.
Theresa hugged her again. "I know, sweetheart. There's nothing we can do about it. Your father is hurting, too. Try to understand." Grabbing a Kleenex, she handed it to Kelsey. "Dry your tears. You can help me clean up, then we can get out of here. You have a ride home?"
Kelsey blew her nose and tossed the tissue in the garbage. "I can call Grams. It's not the first time I've missed the bus."
"Don't call your grandmother. Help me gather my books, then I'll give you a lift."
"It's out of your way, Miss Rogers. I don't want to put you to any trouble." Kelsey stuffed books into the bag Theresa gave to her.
Ruffling the blonde hair, Theresa shrugged and handed Kelsey two more books. "It's no trouble. What are friends for?"
Kelsey smiled. "Thanks, Miss Rogers."
The road to the Diamondback Ranch snaked through the countryside, stretching for miles, twisting and turning according to the lay of the land. The fields and pastures stood barren and gray in the cold winter afternoon.
"What are you going to do for the holidays?" Theresa asked, breaking the silence of the twelve-mile drive to the ranch.
"Nothing much," Kelsey said. "Grams will cook and bake. The aunts and uncles will come over. We'll eat lots of good food. Open presents. Go to church. What are you going to do?"
"I'm going home to Houston."
"You're leaving Salt Fork?"
"My parents want to see me for the holidays. It's only natural. I want to see them, too."
"You'll come back, won't you?"
"Of course," Theresa said, glancing at the little girl. "Don't sound so sad, Kelsey. I'll be back."
"Are you driving to Houston? Ten hours is a long time to drive. I know because I've made the trip several times to visit Uncle Cam when he lived there and to enter my heifers in the Livestock Show."
Theresa smiled. "Have you ever won anything?"
"I've placed third, four years in a row."
"Wow, I'm impressed."
Kelsey shrugged. "Are you driving to Houston?" she asked again.
"I don't know. I was thinking about catching a flight out of Lubbock. Only, I'm not sure I want to leave my car in the parking lot for that long. Maybe I can get someone to drive me to the airport."
"I've got a better idea. Uncle Tyler can
fly
you to Lubbock."
"I couldn't impose on him like that." Theresa cringed inside, imagining what Austin would think about his brother flying her to the airport.
Kelsey swiveled in the seat, tucking a leg under her bottom and faced Theresa. "It wouldn't be an imposition. And I could go with you. Have you ever flown in a small plane? It is
so
cool."
"I bet it is," Theresa said. "I've never had the opportunity. But I'm sure your uncle is too busy to take me to Lubbock."
"I don't think he's too busy this time of year. I'll ask him and if he says yes, you'll go, won't you? It'll be fun."
Theresa hesitated. Kelsey looked so happy with the idea. After a small struggle with her conscience, she finally relented. "Okay, but don't coerce him, understand? And no begging or whining. I don't want to impose. Remember."
"I keep telling you. It won't be imposing." Kelsey smiled. "Besides, what are friends for?"
****
Austin squinted his eyes against the glare from the afternoon sun. He'd been up before dawn and it was several hours until dark. A tractor was down and two of the field hands had gone home sick. Not a good day.
Glancing at his watch, he wondered why Kelsey wasn't home from school. The bus had come and gone over an hour ago. Austin walked across the yard from the implement barn to the house. He'd call the school and make sure she was okay.
As he stepped onto the porch, he heard a car engine in the distance. Shielding his eyes with one hand, he spotted a black car coming down the dirt road from the mailbox, riding the terraces toward the house.
His gut clenched with pain. He knew that car.
He didn't want to see Theresa. Didn't want to talk to her. Didn't want to be near her. He was having a hell of a time trying to forget her. The past month had seemed like years.
He couldn't forget how she felt in his arms or the sweetness of her kisses. Couldn't forget how well she lay beneath him. Couldn't forget the mind-numbing pleasure he'd taken from her body. Couldn't forget any of it.
He was going insane. That was the god-awful truth.
Standing on the porch, Austin waited for Theresa to pull to a stop. Kelsey hopped out of the car.
"Hey, Dad," she said, grabbing her backpack and slinging it over one shoulder.
"Where have you been? And why is Miss Rogers . . . why is
she
bringing you home?" He saw Theresa's eyes widen in hurt. He was acting like a bastard, but at this point in time, he didn't really give a damn.
Kelsey stared at him open-mouthed. "Dad, don't be rude. Just because you don't want to be friends with Miss Rogers doesn't mean I can't have her for a friend." She turned away, leaning down to tell her teacher goodbye.
Austin heard Theresa talking, but couldn't distinguish the words. The soft warm timbre of her voice washed over him, tightening the muscles in his stomach, making him want her with the desperation that scared him.
Austin climbed down the steps and walked toward the car. "Get in the house, Kelsey."
Theresa lifted her chin as he jerked open the driver's side door and pulled her out. He grabbed her arm and dragged her in the direction of the barn.
"What are you doing?" Kelsey called from the porch.
"This doesn't concern you," he yelled over his shoulder. "Stay in the house. I mean it, Kelsey."
"What
are
you doing?" Theresa tried to yank her arm from his strong grasp.
"I want to talk to you," he said between clenched teeth, tightening his hold, hurrying her toward the back of the barn. He pushed her through the doorway and closed the door to the small office.
"You couldn't talk to me out there?" Theresa rubbed her arm where Austin had held her, watching him warily as he advanced toward her.
"I didn't want an audience," he said, his eyes blazing with anger and something else. Something fierce and untamed.
She took a step back, not liking the look on his rugged face. The desk stopped her retreat. There was no escape.
Austin stood before her. She could smell the healthy sweat of a hard-working man.
"I told you I didn't want to see you again," he said. "And now I find you bringing Kelsey home? What game are you playing?"
"I'm not playing games. I respect your feelings and understand why you don't want to be involved with me," Theresa said. "But this is a small town and we're going to see each other, bump into one another. Kelsey needed a ride home and I gave her one. It's no big deal. Or at least, it wouldn't have been, if you hadn't made it into one."
"I told you once before what I'd do if you kept coming around me," Austin growled. "I don't want to get involved with you, but if you keep flaunting yourself, I might take you up on your invitation."
Theresa felt the blood drain from her face. She understood he was hurting inside, fighting his demons, but he didn't have to hurt her, too.
"You know that's not what I'm doing," she said softly. "There's no need to insult me. I've done nothing to deserve those hateful words. I know you loved your wife. I respect your feelings and accept that you can't or won't get involved with me. I feel sorry for you because you're wasting your life. Throwing away your chances for happiness."
Theresa pushed him out of her way and made for the door. With her hand on the knob, she looked back. Austin stood facing away from her, his head hanging down. More than anything in the world, she wanted to go to him, wrap her arms around those broad shoulders and comfort him. Except he didn't want her. He'd made that perfectly clear.
She bit back a sob. "Kelsey was right, you know. Even though you and I can't be friends, lovers, or whatever, doesn't mean she and I can't be friends. She needs me, even if you don't."
Austin heard the door close softly behind him. He clenched his hands into fists and leaned them on the desk. Why couldn't he let go of Deborah? Why couldn't he find the courage to love again? To love Theresa? For twelve years, he'd been living in limbo. Now, he was living in hell.
****
"Watch your step," Tyler said, helping Theresa into the small plane. "Why don't you sit up front with me and let Kelsey have the back seat. The view's better."
"Thanks." Theresa took his hand and climbed into the cockpit. The instrument panel with all the buttons and knobs looked intimidating and complicated.
"Here, Miss Rogers," Kelsey said. "Let me help you buckle in."
Theresa leaned back in the seat, as Kelsey adjusted the straps. The small hands worked competently locking the buckle and making sure everything was snug.
"There you go," Kelsey said with a smile. She climbed in the back seat and buckled herself in. "You're going to love this. It's great. Aren't you glad I asked Uncle Tyler to give you a lift?"
Theresa smiled and twisted around to see Kelsey better. "I think your uncle is very sweet. I didn't expect a lift all the way to Houston."
"He insisted."
"Who insisted on what?" Tyler asked, as he eased his tall frame into the pilot's seat.
Kelsey giggled. "
You
did. You figured if you were going to fly Miss Rogers to Lubbock, you might as well fly her all the way home to Houston."
"What can I say? I love to fly." Tyler flipped switches and checked gauges. "Besides, it saves time and trouble. And it's a hell of a lot more fun than driving!"
"It doesn't save
you
time and trouble," Theresa said with a frown. "I feel like I'm imposing on your goodwill."
"No such thing." Tyler flashed his megawatt smile. "Hotshot back there will tell you I'm never happier than when I'm flying one of my babies."
Kelsey leaned forward. "That's true, Miss Rogers. Uncle Tyler lives to fly. Don't you, Uncle Tyler?"
"That's right."
"Well, I appreciate it all the same."
"No problem. Just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride," Tyler said with a wink.
Theresa smiled. Tyler McCade was handsome and charming, flirtatious and happy-go-lucky. People had warned her to watch out for this McCade brother, too. He was a love 'em and leave 'em kind of guy. Looking for a good time and nothing else. All of his love and commitment was lavished on his planes. Women were just for fun.
Tyler's killer smile and outrageous wink did nothing for Theresa. No tummy flutterings. No tingling down to her toes. He was good-looking, but there were no sparks arcing between them. No sizzling tension like she experienced with Austin.
She wondered if she'd ever find that with another man. Was she doomed to spend the rest of her days alone? Or would she have to settle for second best? And would that be fair to the man involved?
Pushing the depressing thoughts aside, Theresa sat back and put on the headphones Tyler had pointed to. She was determined to enjoy this experience with Kelsey and her ever-charming uncle.
It didn't matter that Austin disapproved of the whole expedition. He had given Kelsey permission to go and that was all that mattered. Theresa hadn't seen him since that afternoon in the barn. She told herself she didn't miss him. She was getting real good at lying to herself.
"Everybody ready?" Tyler asked, glancing around at his passengers. He adjusted Theresa's headset, then started the engine. It rumbled to life.
Theresa watched the propeller turn, slowly at first, gaining speed until it was only a whirling blur on the nose of the plane.
Tyler maneuvered onto the airstrip. "Hold on," he said, as he prepared to take them up in the air. The small plane sped down the runway, lifting effortlessly into the clear blue West Texas sky.