A Mother's Secret (6 page)

He was certain her heart was broken after Hannah chose to leave and take Amanda and Andrew away from the Amish church. And in some ways, it made sense that she hoped Joshua could provide more grandchildren to help heal the hole in her heart. Yet, at the same time, he wasn’t focused on finding a wife and starting a family. He wanted to run the best horse farm he could in honor of Gideon’s memory. Finding a wife didn’t fit in with his plans right now. He was too busy to date, but his mother wasn’t known for taking no for an answer.

Joshua considered Lena while he merged onto another road, heading toward his farm. She looked to be a nice enough young
lady. He was certain his mother wouldn’t stop nagging him until he attended a social and met her, but he’d only told her he would to get her to drop the subject. Joshua had no intention of attending a social with the rest of the older single folks in his church district. If he were meant to meet Lena Esh, then God would place her in his path. If his mother asked about the social, he’d simply tell her he was too busy and he’d try again the following week. She would have to accept that answer for now. He prayed she would find something else to occupy her time and take her focus off Joshua’s life.

He turned onto his street and made his way toward his horse farm. Soon the sign advertising Glick’s Belgian and Dutch Harness Horses came into view and Joshua thought again about Gideon. He missed his older brother and thought of him nearly every day as he walked out to the stables, thinking of how Gideon would be pleased if he could witness how busy and successful the farm had become during the past few years.

Joshua guided the horse up the rock driveway and past the two-story, white clapboard house where he now lived. It was the house where Gideon had brought Hannah after they were married and then welcomed his three children. The house seemed too big and too empty for only Joshua, but it made sense for him to move onto the farm after Hannah left.

He climbed down from the buggy, unhitched the horse, and led it toward the stable while thinking about his life. He knew God intended him to stay on the farm after Gideon died, and for a long time he believed God intended for him and Hannah to be together.

As he stepped into the stable, he pondered what life would be like if he had a wife and a family. He pushed the thoughts away,
knowing he didn’t have time to find a wife. Dreaming about it was crazy. He was where he needed to be. After all, he was nearly forty and still single. Maybe God didn’t intend for everyone to be married.

Yet deep in his heart, he wondered if there was more for him than his lonely life on the horse farm.

Later that evening, Barbie checked to make sure the back door was locked before heading to bed.

“
Mammi
.” Lillian walked through the kitchen clad in her long nightgown. “I thought you had already gone to bed.”

“I was heading that way.” She watched her granddaughter place a book in her tote bag. “Are you getting ready for school tomorrow?”

“
Ya
.” Lillian yawned and stretched her arms. “I had fun at youth group today. We played volleyball until our arms hurt over at Nancy’s
haus
.”

“That’s
gut
.” Barbie sat on a kitchen chair. “Have a seat. Let’s talk for a minute. How’s Leroy?”

“He’s
gut
.” Lillian’s smile was wide as she sat across from her. “I really like him. I can’t wait until we’re both baptized so we can really date.” She suddenly frowned. “Sometimes I really miss Amanda while I’m at youth group. I know she chose to go with
mei mamm
and go to college, but sometimes I feel so lonely. It was hard enough losing
mei mamm
, but I also lost
mei zwillingboppli
and
mei bruder
.”

“I know,
mei liewe
.” Barbie touched her hand while wondering how Hannah could’ve walked away from her daughter
and started a new life without her. “But you still have me. You’ll always have your
daadi
and me.”

“
Danki
.” Lillian’s expression brightened again. “So, do you think
Onkel
Josh and Lena will get together?”

“I hope so.” Barbie rested her chin on her palm. “He promised me that he’d go to one of the social gatherings for the older singles. I hope they meet and start dating. Maybe we’ll have a wedding to plan in the fall.”

“Ach!”
Lillian clapped her hands. “That would be
wunderbaar
.” She suddenly frowned again. “But he’s awfully stubborn. What if he doesn’t go to the social? What can we do to get them together?”

“Hmm.” Barbie rubbed her chin. “We’ll have to come up with a
gut
plan.”

“Okay.” Lillian cupped her hand to her mouth to block a yawn. “We’ll have to think about that. I’ll let you know what I come up with. I better get to bed.
Gut nacht, Mammi
.”

“
Gut nacht
.” Barbie considered the issue of Joshua’s bachelorhood while her granddaughter disappeared up the stairs. Barbie never took no for an answer. She would find the right wife for Joshua no matter how long it took.

FOUR

J
oshua glanced toward the driveway just as a horse and buggy steered in. He’d been expecting Benjamin Lapp to arrive anytime. The young man stopped the horse by the barn and Joshua crossed the pasture to meet him.

“Willkumm!”
Joshua shook Benjamin’s hand.

“
Danki
.” Benjamin scanned the property. “This is a
schee
farm.”

“
Danki, danki
.” Joshua gestured toward the horse. “Why don’t you unhitch your horse and you can bring him to the stables. I’ll show you around.”

“Okay.” Joshua gave him a little history of the farm as Ben guided his horse toward the stables. Daniel King stepped out as they approached.

“Benjamin.” Daniel shook Benjamin’s hand. “It’s
gut
to see you. Are you ready for some hard work?”

Benjamin shrugged. “
Ya
.”

“
Gut
.” Daniel motioned for Benjamin to follow him. “Let’s get started shoveling out the stalls.”

Joshua walked toward the barn where his telephone and answering machine were kept. He found the red button flashing
and listened to the messages. The first two were from potential customers wishing to make an appointment to come and see the horses. He wrote down their names and numbers so he could call them back.

When the machine began the third message, his mother’s voice rang through the speaker. “Joshua, this is your
mamm
. I need you to bring me that casserole dish I left at your
haus
Friday. I’m planning on making you another casserole, and I have to have that dish. Please bring it this evening around five. See you then.
Danki
.”

Joshua sighed while wondering what casserole dish his mother needed. He called the customers back, made appointments with them for the following day, and then strolled into the house. He crossed from the mudroom into the kitchen and grimaced at the mountain of dirty dishes clogging the sink. He had planned to take care of the dishes this morning, but he was sidetracked outside by the constant work required to keep a successful farm running.

Joshua scanned the kitchen, finding piles of newspapers, unopened bills, catalogs, and notepads peppering the long table. When Hannah and her family lived in this house, it was spotless. Now it was nothing but a messy bachelor residence. Actually, it was a
lonely
and messy bachelor house. Hannah would be so ashamed if she saw it.

Hannah.

Joshua wondered if that ache he felt in his heart when he thought of her would ever go away. He wanted to move past the hurt and betrayal she had left behind, but he didn’t know how to let go. He knew he needed to pray and ask God for help healing his heart, but he didn’t even know how to ask for help.
How silly was that? He couldn’t even open up his heart to pray for healing.

He moved to the sink and sifted through the heap of pots, dishes, and bowls until he found the casserole dish his mother had requested. Then he washed all the dishes and picked up some of the mess on the kitchen table before returning outside to continue his chores.

Carolyn stepped into the break room at the Lancaster Grand Hotel that afternoon after she finished cleaning the rooms on the second floor. She found her friends and fellow housekeepers, Ruth Ebersol and Linda Zook, already sitting at the table, eating their lunches.

“Hello,” Carolyn said, pulling her lunch bag from the refrigerator. “How is your day going?” She poured water into a plastic cup and then sat across from them.

“It’s been
gut
,” Linda, a petite brunette in her early thirties, said. She shrugged as she unwrapped a cheese sandwich. “The usual. Dirty rooms and unmade beds.”

Ruth laughed. Her graying hair peeked out from under her prayer covering. “You sound as if this is the worst job in the world, Linda. It’s not so bad, really. And the sun is shining and February is almost over. March will be here soon. It’s been a fine day. I’ve been training the newest member of our housekeeping team.”

“We have a new coworker?” Carolyn raised her eyebrows with surprise as she pulled her sandwich out of the bag. “I didn’t know Gregg was hiring someone new.”

“
Ya
, her name is Madeleine Miller. She’s going to come and
join us for lunch in a few minutes. She had to go talk to Gregg.” Ruth gestured toward the door. “You’ll like her. She’s very sweet, and she’s
English
.”

“Really?” Carolyn lifted her turkey sandwich.

“She’s going to replace Hannah.” Ruth sipped her cup of water. “It will be nice to finally have the extra help again. Gregg wasn’t sure we needed it for a while, but business has picked up considerably. I’m glad he decided to hire someone.”

The door opened, and a woman who appeared to be in her late twenties stepped into the room wearing a gray dress and a black bib apron. Her dark brown hair was pulled back in a long ponytail, and her gold name tag said “Madeleine.”

“You must be Carolyn.” Madeleine approached Carolyn and shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you. Ruth has told me all about you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too.” Carolyn tapped the seat next to her. “Join us for lunch.”

“Thank you.” Madeleine placed her lunch bag on the table and then sat next to Carolyn. “Gregg seems really nice.”

Ruth nodded while chewing. “He’s a
gut
supervisor. He’s fair, and he also expects us to do our best.”

“Do you live close to the hotel?” Carolyn asked as she wiped her mouth with a paper napkin.

Madeleine nodded. “I live a couple of miles away in Paradise. I moved here a few months ago. I’m sort of starting over.”

Carolyn and Ruth exchanged intrigued expressions.

Linda folded up the wrapper for her sandwich. “What made you move here?”

“Well,” Madeleine said as she glanced around at her newest friends, “my grandparents were Amish, and I used to visit them
here frequently when I was a child. I spent nearly every summer with them when I was little. After they passed away, I found out I inherited their house, and I decided to move here instead of selling it.”