A Mother's Secret (25 page)

“
Ach
.” Carolyn looked at her mother. “I don’t want to leave all this work for you. The pies—”

“Go.” Her mother waved off the comment. “Have some fun. I know you like to go to the farm.” She gave Carolyn a knowing smile. “I can handle it. I’ve been making pies for forty years.”

“Okay. Just give me one minute.” Carolyn rushed to the bathroom and checked her reflection. She brushed her hands over her apron to remove any stray flour, checked to make sure her prayer covering was straight, and pinched her cheeks to give her complexion some color. She felt silly for being so worried about her appearance. After all, vanity was a sin. At the same time, she felt as giddy as a teenager who was on her way to a singing and hoping to see the boy she liked.

Carolyn met her niece in the kitchen. “I’m ready.” She looked back at her mother. “I’ll be home soon.”

“Take your time.” Her mother winked at her.

Carolyn ignored the gesture despite feeling her pulse race when she thought about seeing Joshua.

“I can’t wait to see Danny,” Rosemary said as they made their way toward the waiting buggy.

Carolyn smiled at her.
I
know
the feeling
.

Joshua stepped into the stables and found Daniel and Benjamin shoveling. “How’s the work coming?” he yelled toward the back of the stable.

“It would be faster if you helped,” Daniel responded from a few stalls away.

“I can’t help right now. I have to balance the books.” Joshua leaned on the door frame.

“Did you hear that, Ben?” Daniel asked. “Josh has to balance the books. That sounds like a lame excuse to me. I think he just doesn’t want to do the real manual labor. He leaves all the fun stuff for us.”

“Isn’t that what bosses always do?” Benjamin stepped out of the stall and wiped his brow with the back of his forearm. “Josh, you brought me on so you can do easier stuff, right?”

Joshua laughed at the joke and then added, “You know that’s not the truth.” He motioned for Benjamin to approach him. “Come here and talk to me for a moment.”

“What’s wrong?” Benjamin looked concerned as he walked over to Joshua.

“Nothing is wrong. Actually, I want to discuss bringing you on board permanently.”

Benjamin’s smile was wide. “That’s fantastic. I’d love to work for you permanently.”

“
Gut
. I need to discuss it with your parents. Would you mind talking with them first and then letting me know what they say?”

Benjamin paused for a moment and then nodded. “
Ya
, I’ll do that.”

“Great. We’ll discuss the details later, and then you can talk to your folks tonight.” Joshua hoped that Benjamin’s parents would accept his offer. He not only appreciated having Benjamin’s help, but he had also enjoyed getting to know the boy. Ben had become like a nephew to him. While he could never replace Andrew, he made the pain of that loss more bearable.

His thoughts were interrupted by the clip-clop of a horse heading up his driveway. He wasn’t expecting any visitors today. No customers had called to make appointments.

“Who can that be?” he mumbled as he headed out to the driveway where a buggy came to a stop.

When his mother and Lena climbed out of the buggy, Joshua swallowed a groan.

“Hello!” His mother hurried over to him.

“Hi,
Mamm
. Lena.” He nodded toward Lena and then looked at his mother as irritation nipped at him. “What brings you out here today?” The question was courteous, but his expression was pointed.

“Lena came over to visit me this morning, and we were just discussing quilting.”
Mamm
motioned toward the house. “I wanted to show her the quilt your
mammi
made for you before she passed away. That quilt means so much to me.” Tears prickled her eyes, and Joshua wondered if she had stood in front of a mirror and practiced her dramatic performance before she came over to visit him.

“You know where the quilt is. You can take Lena upstairs and show her.”

“No, no!”
Mamm
shook her head with emphasis. “I want you to give Lena a tour of the
schee
haus
.”

Joshua studied his mother. “I don’t have the time to give a tour right now. I need to work on the books and pay some bills so I can keep this farm running.”

“That’s fine,” Lena said with a pleasant smile. “You can give me a tour some other time. I know your work is important to you.”

“Don’t be
gegisch
, Lena,”
Mamm
insisted. “Josh has a few minutes. We’ll go inside so Josh and I can show you the
haus
before we look at the barns and stables.” She took Joshua’s sleeve and pulled him toward the house. “Let’s go.”

Joshua followed his mother and Lena into his house. He couldn’t stop wondering how he was going to get through to his mother and make her realize she didn’t have the right to force Lena on him. He could tell Lena was interested in him by the
way she looked at him. Although Lena was a nice young lady, she wasn’t the one who consumed his thoughts.

Carolyn sat in the front of the buggy next to her father while he guided the horse away from the hardware store and toward Joshua’s farm.

“I can’t wait to see the farm,
Daadi
,” Rosemary said while the buggy moved down the main road. “Ben talks about it constantly. I’m certain it’s just as
schee
as he says it is.”

“I can’t wait either.” He smiled at Rosemary, and she returned the gesture.

Carolyn couldn’t wait either. In fact, butterflies took up residence in her abdomen when she thought about seeing Joshua.

When they arrived, Carolyn spotted another buggy in the driveway and wondered who was also visiting.

Dat
stopped the horse behind the first buggy, and they climbed out.

“Oh wow.” Rosemary made a wide gesture. “Look at the pasture and the stables and barns. They are so very
schee
. And those horses,
Daadi
. Aren’t they magnificent?”

“It’s very nice.”
Dat
looked at Carolyn. “Should we go out to the stables to find Joshua?”

“I think we should look in the
haus
first,” Carolyn suggested.

“I’m going to go find Ben,” Rosemary said before heading out toward the stables.

Carolyn started toward the porch with her father in tow. They climbed the steps, and Carolyn knocked twice before stepping into the mudroom.

“Come in!” Joshua called.

Carolyn pushed open the door, and she heard voices and laughter in the kitchen. Who was in the house with him? She walked into the kitchen and found Joshua talking with Barbie and Lena. Carolyn’s mood soured as she stared at the two women. Barbie scowled at Carolyn, but Lena smiled.

“Titus. Carolyn,” Joshua said, moving over to them. “What a nice surprise to see you. I’m glad you came by.” His expression seemed guarded.

Barbie continued to glare at Carolyn, and Lena gazed at Joshua. Carolyn felt as if she’d interrupted a private meeting. She suddenly felt out of place and silly for pursuing Joshua. And, all at once, it became clear to Carolyn that she had no chance of winning Joshua’s heart when a pretty, single woman, who certainly didn’t have a sordid past, was interested in him. Lena had every right to try to get to know Joshua, while Carolyn was only kidding herself. She didn’t belong with someone like Joshua, who had an entirely clean slate. She was more suited for a widower who could handle starting a blended family.

Carolyn was overwhelmed by the urge to flee. “Excuse me.” She backed up toward the door. “I’m going to go see what my niece is doing.”

“Carolyn? Wait a minute,” Joshua called after her. “Carolyn?”

Carolyn rushed out of the house and hurried toward the barn. She found Benjamin, Daniel, and Rosemary standing near the back pasture fence talking.

Carolyn took a deep breath and tried to calm her frayed nerves as she approached them. “Hi.”

Benjamin waved. “Rosemary told us you came along with
Daadi
today. Where is he?” he asked.

“He’s in the kitchen with Joshua and his visitors.” Carolyn pointed toward the house.

“Josh has visitors?” Daniel looked surprised. “Who’s visiting?”

“His
mamm
and a young woman named Lena.” Carolyn tried not to frown as she said the names.

“Oh. His
mamm
stops by a few times a week,” Daniel said.

Carolyn needed to change the subject in an attempt to take her mind off Barbie and Lena. “So, what were you all talking about?”

“Youth gatherings.” Rosemary’s smile was wide. “I was telling Danny he should come back to one of our gatherings. We had a really
gut
time Sunday night. We played volleyball, and we sang.”

Rosemary continued talking about her youth gatherings while Daniel smiled at her. Carolyn could see their friendship blossoming before her eyes. Although she was happy for her niece, she couldn’t ignore her own disappointment.

She looked back toward the house and watched as Lena and Barbie stood in the doorway saying good-bye to Joshua. She longed to be the one standing on the porch talking to him. Yet she knew she had no right to be there. Joshua deserved a woman without a complicated past.

And the reality drowned Carolyn like a tidal wave—she was naïve to think that a man like Joshua could ever fall in love with her.

Joshua couldn’t believe his mother’s timing. Why did she have to pick this opportunity to come and visit? Perhaps it was almost
predictable that she would drag Lena over to his house uninvited at the same time Carolyn would come to see him.

Carolyn had become a permanent vision in his mind since the barn raising last Thursday. But the scene had been awkward when she walked into the kitchen and found his mother and Lena there. Carolyn looked as uncomfortable as he felt.

Joshua had longed to stop her when she rushed out of the house. He felt terrible that she left so quickly, and he wanted to apologize to her. Was she angry with him? He was anxious to find out why she and Titus had come to see him, but he couldn’t figure out how to get his mother to stop talking and leave. After Carolyn went out the back door, his mother prattled on and on about the weather. Titus was a gracious listener as he nodded and fingered his long beard. Joshua, however, suspected Titus, too, was wondering when
Mamm
would stop talking and leave.

“It was
gut
seeing you,” Joshua began as he gestured toward the door. “I’m certain I’ll see you again soon.”

“
Danki
for the tour.” Lena’s smile was genuine. “You have a lovely
haus
.”

“
Danki
.” He shook her hand. “Take care, Lena.”

“Oh.”
Mamm
looked surprised. “I guess we’d better go. Good-bye, Titus.”

Titus nodded at the women as they disappeared through the mudroom and out the back door.

“It’s
gut
to see you.” Joshua motioned toward the table. “Would you like to have a seat?”

“
Danki
.” Titus sank into a chair.

“Would you like something to drink?” Joshua offered.

“No,
danki
. I’m fine.” Titus folded his hands and placed
them on the table. “I was in the area visiting the hardware store, so I thought I would stop by to see your farm. I invited Carolyn and Rosemary to come with me.”