Authors: Nancy Hopper
She snorted. “Really?” she chortled sarcastically. Then, she remembered looking at him while he explained what had really happened, that night on the beach – and she recalled his plea for forgiveness. She shut up.
Gary pressed his lips together, shoved his hands in his pockets, and walked along beside her.
Two weeks after their walks had begun, they went out one evening at dusk. Tasha was feeling much more herself this week. The headaches were less frequent, the listlessness was finally falling away. She looked up at Gary when they’d gone clear to the spit, a mile or so from the cabin. She sat down on a rock at the water’s edge, and he sat next to her.
She looked at him pensively, and watched the breeze ruffle his hair. He was so handsome. And he’d been so loving and patient. He’d taken such wonderful care of her, when he’d found her in Colorado.
She knew she needed to talk to him, now. She owed him that. He’d been waiting patiently for a long, long time.
“
So. You’re still hanging around this old rag doll, hoping I’ll come around, huh?” she asked wryly.
He looked at her, and then looked down. “I’m doing all right.” he said quietly. “I know the time will come when we can talk about it all. I’m not in any hurry.”
She cocked her head thoughtfully, and considered for the first time that he was suffering as much as she was. “Well; I don’t know that we really need to re-hash a lot of garbage that’s in the past. I mean, there’s nothing that happened that I really want to re-live, or spend a lot of time thinking about.”
Gary looked at her, his steady, blue eyes searching. “So what about us?” he asked seriously. “We really do need to talk about that.”
“
Why do you say that?” she asked flippantly. “I was an ignorant idiot, and you didn’t realize it. So what?”
He looked out to sea, and pondered her words. “Tasha, you’ve got a right to be pretty mad at me. I wouldn’t blame you.”
“What purpose would that serve, Gary? You didn’t mean to do it. I didn’t have to flip out, either. I could’ve asked what the hell was going on. Neither of us meant to have it happen.”
"Why would I want to walk away from the best thing that ever has – or ever will happen to me, because of a misunderstanding? You’re still the best thing God ever put on this earth. I say we just pick up and go on. What do you say?”
He looked over at her, measuring the words with something akin to suspicion. “You still ... you still want to get married?” he asked uneasily.
She smiled at him. “Yeah. Gary Taylor, will you marry me?” she asked lightly.
He chuckled and looked at his feet, then stared out at the ocean. “I’m glad you didn’t make me ask
you
, again. It was scary enough the first time.” he admitted. He looked at her with a crooked grin, and she laughed at him. A little bit.
CHAPTER SIX
Gary stared out the small office window, at the freshly cut lawns below. The September sunlight fell into harsh shadows across his troubled face.
“
I’m totally astounded, Gary! It’s not like you to do such a thing. A young college girl, with the reputation of Matilda -- and not even a Christian, except by your persuasion? You know better than that! How is she supposed to survive, much less help you pastor any flock? Don’t you know what would happen to her?”
“
I know in my heart, that this is right. She’s not an ordinary girl. She’s been through a lot, she’s ...” he shook his head. “I’d just rather have you meet her, than to try to explain. Please! Give this a hearing, with an open mind and heart. Try to put aside how it looks, and be impartial.”
“
I see myself as impartial, Gary. But very well, I will meet this ...
girl.
But I want you to know that I am
very unhappy
that you announced your engagement first!”
Gary did not appear troubled by the admonishment. He looked his superior in the eye. “I had my reasons.” he said softly.
Bishop Marshall heaved his large body up out of the chair, moved across the room, and put a comforting hand on Gary’s shoulder. “Listen, son. I’m not trying to be harsh, but you have to be
so very careful
. You are being prepared for a tremendous leadership position. The call of God on your life is incredible. The people need to see that you are disciplined, that you are going to the Lord for leading, and not running about half-cocked.”
Gary nodded acknowledgment. “I believe that they saw such an example, in this case. Anyone who knows me and has spent much time with Tasha, knows that I didn’t choose her. God has put us together; or, everything I've ever known, is wrong.”
Marshall chuckled. “Well. I’ll meet with you, and counsel the two of you.” he sighed. “Come back at four.”
Gary nodded his thanks, and headed for the door.
Tasha touched the corners of her eyes carefully to stay the tears that were forming and threatening to overflow.
“
Tasha, you look incredibly lovely! My dear, I’ve never seen a woman your age, who dresses so intelligently. You’re something else.”
Gary’s mother was a smart dresser, herself. Tasha was a little bit intimidated by the woman’s untouchable sophistication. Her silvery hair was impeccably dressed, her clothing and perfume were obviously only the very best. Tasha was eternally grateful that she seemed to accept her as Gary’s choice, without question.
“
Don’t be nervous.” Lydia Taylor soothed. “They’ll be nice to you, really.”
“
Oh, I can’t seem to help it.” Tasha confessed with a sigh. “I’m so afraid they won’t want Gary to marry me.”
Lydia smiled her understanding. “Even if I do feel they’re too dictatorial, I can’t believe they’d go that far. And if they did, I imagine Gary would have something to say to them.” Lydia predicted.
Tasha smiled hesitantly. “I don’t think he’d give up his ministry for me.” she admitted worriedly. “I really don’t. But I do hope you’re right.”
Lydia patted her arm. “He’s very devoted to you. Don’t underestimate my son.” she warned Tasha with a twinkle in her eyes.
Tasha smiled, and bit her lip. She kept biting, as she walked with Gary up the steps to the big Seattle church where they were planning to be married. Gary wanted it that way, so that both of his parents could attend their wedding. But first, they had to meet with this 'Bishop Marshall', first. It scared her half to death. She sensed that this man had great influence over Gary.
The silence around them once they were inside the building, was complete, and penetrating. There were only a few, secluded spotlights to illuminate their steps through the darkened hallway. They finally reached the study door, and Gary tapped.
“
Come in.” a deep voice boomed. Tasha jumped, in nervous reaction.
The room was nearly bare; just a desk, two chairs and a bench. There were two men sitting at the desk, watching them approach. Gary smiled at her, trying to tease her out of her worry and nervousness.
“
Honey, this is Pastor Benson, of this church; and Bishop Marshall, from our Los Angeles churches.”
Grave, brown eyes assessed her without wavering. The large man kind of drew her. Vaguely she noticed dark, curly hair and an iron gray beard. That, and his eyes, was all she could really recall. And he was large, this Bishop Marshall. She hardly saw the other man.
“
Please, sit down.” he urged. Gary and Tasha obeyed.
“
So, Tasha. You want to marry this young pastor of ours?”
When she nodded her affirmation, he went on.
“
How long have you known this?”
Tasha looked at Gary, not sure how to answer. “Not long. Maybe two months.” she replied, sounding much more self-assured than she felt.
“
Yet, you’re absolutely sure?” he challenged.
Tasha met the compelling eyes steadily. “Absolutely.” she confirmed.
The silence following her statement made her feel jittery inside.
“
You’ve only been a Christian for a very short time. Not even so long as you’ve wanted to get married, I understand. Are you certain it’s God you’re seeking in the church, and not just Gary? They’re kind of a package deal, you know.”
Tasha had the impression that he was on the verge of laughter. “So I understand.” she said coolly. “I can’t honestly sit here and unravel all my motivations for you, Mr. Marshall. All that I’m sure of, is that I love Gary, and I want to marry him. I believe that he knows God, and has a unique relationship with Him. I know that something is happening inside me, as well. I’ve experienced something very special since I met Gary, and I know it’s God. I can’t tell you exactly how much is Gary, and how much is God. But it’s all very real to me.”
A deep, rumbling chuckle met the confession. “Come here, Tasha.” he commanded.
She stood fearlessly, and approached the heavy man. The eyes drew her deeper, forcibly dissecting her as she approached; yet they were twinkling. They actually smiled at her, as they cut deep.
He stood silently before her, and put large, heavy hands on top of her shoulders. The man heaved a heavy sigh. She could feel the strength of his presence around her, like an enveloping cloud.
The chuckle came rolling at her, again. “Yes, Tasha. I’d say there’s a little of both, here.” he agreed. “You’re young in the Lord to be getting married, Tasha; and yet, I believe that Gary must be very, very good for you. But, do you have any idea what marriage to a man like this would be?” he asked carefully.
Tasha just waited, and listened.
“
He burns, all the time. Burns like a light for the Lord. He’s on his knees through the nights; or, on his face, for hours. He’s got his nose in the Word, all the time. He’s rushing here and there, day and night, in answer to the calls of his people.”
“
And his
wife
... ” he said significantly, “his wife takes the phone calls, and has to say she doesn’t know where her husband is. She tells the callers that she knows he went to see the lovely young widow Jenkins again, but she hasn’t heard from him since before he went there, several hours ago. And, not have a flicker of doubt in her voice.”
“
She has to listen to the outpouring of grief, anger, fear, resentment and loneliness of the people who are calling desperately, counting on him to be at their personal disposal, twenty-four hours every day.”
“
She has to smile at the pretty young thing who’s obviously developed a crush on her husband, and hug her, and mentor her -- even though she knows the little monster shows up in his office three times a week with crocodile tears in her eyes, to tell him about this or that problem she’s having.”
"She has to bite her tongue, and be faultless. Faultless, Tasha, before God and man. You will be the standard that the people follow. If they cannot follow you, they will stomp your ministry to death, and crush you in the process.”
He sighed. “You will not be able to lean on Gary. He will not be there, enough. You will have to lean on God, alone. Only He will be faithfully there to give you the strength and the love you will need, to get through the difficult times.”
"Your husband will come home in tears some nights, because he’s so tired and drained in his fight to be a shepherd. And you will have to be there for him. Some nights, he’ll have nothing left at all for you. It will require unfailing teamwork, a strong disposition, and a lot of love. It’s a big pair of combat boots.”