Authors: Nancy Hopper
“
Be fair? What in life is fair, Tasha? You tell me.” he demanded.
Tasha stared up into his tortured eyes, and smiled sadly. “I don’t know, Gary. I don’t know. Loving you is all that’s ever been right for me. And this nightmare isn’t easy for me, though I can’t imagine what it’s doing to you. I can hardly stand the thought of losing you, Gary. Especially now. But I love you with all my heart, and I won’t let go! Not ever.”
Gary’s eyes misted, and he pulled her against him, groaning miserably. “Honey, I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s happening to me. I took it calmly enough, but suddenly I feel so bitter.”
“
I know, honey. But there is always hope. We can’t give up. Especially now, I can’t believe God would take you from me, knowing that there’s a child inside me who is going to need you so much.”
Gary’s face hardened. He swung his wife up into his arms, and kicked open their bedroom door. Tasha found herself on the bed with Gary braced above her. His eyes were wide, and wild.
“
Are you telling me there’s a baby coming?” He demanded incredulously.
“
I am.” She answered hesitantly.
Gary rolled away to sit on the end of the bed. He dropped his head in his hands. “Dear God.” He muttered brokenly. He looked over into Tasha’s eyes, his hopelessness stabbing at her. “It’s much, much worse this time, Tasha. I don’t have much of a chance.”
“
Like Hell you don’t!” She lashed. Fear made her heart pound, but she set her jaw insistently. “You’re going to be fine.”
Gary swallowed hard, and pulled Tasha into his lap. “I sincerely hope you’re right.” He said softly. “But Tasha, you have to be realistic. It does not look at all good.”
Tasha searched his eyes worriedly. “Gary, why didn’t you tell me?”
He shook his head. “What good would it have done?” He challenged. “I wanted
every last minute
we have together to be perfect. You really didn’t need this hanging over your head, honey. It wouldn’t have changed anything. But I am sorry that you didn’t hear it from me. I guess I owed you that much.”
Tasha smiled, and stroked his face. “It’s all right.” She comforted him. It tore at her heart, to see tears well up in his eyes.
“
You’re good to me, Tasha.” He said tiredly.
“
As you are to me. Let’s go to bed.” She suggested with a smile.
Gary came through the surgery well. Tasha joined him in Recovery, and held his hand until he started coming around. He looked so tired and drawn. She wanted to somehow smooth the cares and pain out of his face. She felt so very helpless.
“
Mrs. Taylor?” the surgeon asked from behind her.
“
Yes?”
“
Gary did very well. He was stable throughout the procedure. We had to take quite a lot more of the intestine.”
“
Will it be all right?” she asked fearfully.
“
We’ll just have to see. Only time can tell us that, for sure. I gave it my very best.”
“
Thank you.” she whispered.
It just seemed so strange, and surreal. How could it be happening? It wasn’t possible that it was Gary lying there, fighting for his life. Tasha kept hoping she'd awaken from a bad dream, but she couldn't get away from reality. Gary was desperately ill, and he might not recover. Those were the facts.
Once he was home from the hospital, it seemed to get easier. Tasha just refused to accept any thought, other than that Gary was recovering and that he’d soon be feeling fine.
Recuperation was very slow, though. It was such a terribly invasive surgery. It hadn’t been so long since the last one; and Gary had been working very hard, putting in such long hours. He’d been exhausted, and it was telling on him now.
He followed the doctor’s diet carefully, and the challenge was to get him to eat enough; he lacked an appetite. Tasha began to know that it would be a long time before Gary was back to work, if he had a job to go back to.
They needed someone on the patrol, and they weren’t sure they could wait for Gary. So, everything was uncertain.
Tasha found a job. It didn’t pay much, but between her wages and the love gifts pouring in constantly, they were making it.
She enjoyed being at the health food store. It wasn’t exciting, but it was educational, and interesting enough. Tasha was grateful it wasn’t physically demanding, for she was in her fifth month and definitely rounding.
Gary was incensed when he found out she was working. “She’s never had to work a day in her life, Marietta. She’s … she doesn’t know how! I’m supposed to take care of her.” He lamented.
Marietta finally helped him see reason. “Gary, she wants to do this. It’s good for her! It lets her feel she’s helping, and you know how helpless she’s felt? She’s a very capable girl. It’ll do her good, to see how the other half lives. It will build her confidence, and help her mature, to work for a living. It won’t be forever, anyway.”
“
But she’s pregnant.” He sighed.
Marietta smiled. “Almost every woman lives through it, Pastor.” She teased.
“
Just until the baby comes.” he insisted, a steely, determined look burning in his eyes.
Tasha promised, hoping it would be possible. Still, she knew she’d do what she had to, when the time came.
She got home from work every day to find Marietta cooking dinner. As she didn’t have to work, Marietta had decided to take over cooking dinner, and cleaning for them. And Gary still needed occasional help.
He grumbled about Tasha going to work every day, until Marietta had had enough. “Gary, it’s not hurting her. I’m sure it’s even helping her. Come on, now. Let her alone. And besides, it won’t hurt us to have a full time pastor for awhile.”
Gary admitted it grudgingly, and began to accept the change of roles slowly.
Just when Tasha was sure she’d have to quit the store, an amazing thing happened.
She walked in the house after work, greeted by the smell of soup.
“
Bless you, Marietta. My, that smells good! Where’s Gary?” she asked wearily.
“
In his study.” Marietta answered darkly.
Too tired to notice how subdued Marietta seemed, Tasha waddled upstairs, and tapped on the study door. “Honey? I’m home.”
“
Hello, Sweet. How are you tonight?” Gary asked cheerfully.
“
Tired, but fine. Gary, I’m going to have to think about quitting. I’ve only got five more weeks and I’m getting pretty tired.” she admitted.
“
Tell Mr. Henry tomorrow.” he agreed immediately.
“
It’s no emergency, Gary. I’m all right for now.”
“
I know you are, but you don’t need to work anymore.” he told her with deep satisfaction. “In fact, we won’t be here when the baby comes. What do you think of that?”
“
What?” Tasha gasped, reaching for the telegram he held out.
“
Come home, son. Need you to pastor in Long Beach, California.” it said. It was signed, “Ron.”
“
Ron?” Tasha asked.
“
Bishop Marshall.” Gary supplied with a grin. “There’s a nice salary attached to it.”
“
But, Gary; is this what you want?” she asked uncertainly.
“
I think so. And I think it’s a gift from the Lord. The cold and damp is hard on me, Tasha, and I know how you love the sunshine. I’d rather see you lying by a pool getting a tan, than working yourself to death. What do you say?”
“
If it’s what you want, Gary.”
“
It is.” he confirmed. “But Marietta has barely been civil since the telegram came.”
“
Oh,” she groaned.
“
She’s all right. She just doesn’t want to lose us.”
“
It’s going to be very hard to leave them all, Gary.”
“
Yeah. But we'll be back to visit, and I know we'll get visits from folks here, when we're in L.A. I know you won’t regret going. You’ve got an eye-opener waiting for you, doll.” he predicted.
It
was
very hard to leave all their loved ones when it came down to it, though. They gathered around for a last hug. It changed Tasha, looking into those sorrowful, tearful eyes. Feeling the tug of their hearts, though they were bravely trying to give them a cheerful and supportive goodbye.
Joe and Delanie were struggling the hardest to blink back tears. Marietta and Glen, and Little Dodi were looking stricken. Andrew and Mattie, and Shawn and Dena, Butch and Kim, and their kids Keely and Mica, were all downcast. Joe and Delanie had been set in as the new pastors, but it was obvious that they’d all rather keep the ones that were leaving.
Gary faced them all, after the hugs had been taken care of. “Thank you, all of you. We love you more than we can say. I know we’re going to be gone for a time, but I don’t think it’ll be forever. I think that the warm sunshine and working one job is just what the doctor ordered for me, for now. But each and every one of you are in our hearts for good; and in a way, you’re going with us to California. And perhaps one day, we’ll be able to return to you. You’re tremendously important to us, and to the Kingdom of God. We Love you, so much.”
That did it. Everyone was wiping tears away, by the time Gary had finished his speech.
Tasha just smiled on through her tears, and took Gary’s arm as they turned to go. She’d never had a family before, other than her father. And now, she was leaving it. It hurt, unbearably.
Tasha had her eyes opened in California, all right. The church in Long Beach was like nothing she’d ever seen in her life. It was big, and full of people every day and every night. The sanctuary always had people in it, with their hands raised and their mouths open, praising God and praying.
Tasha had to constantly remind herself not to be overwhelmed by it. Gary, however, was totally in his element. Tasha had never seen him so alive and full of fire. She knew she’d never forget their first service in Long Beach. The singing and psalms went on and on for the longest time.
Watching Gary, Tasha knew he was drawing strength from the power of the Holy Spirit that resided in this group. The faith and boldness of the people was bringing it forth in a way Tasha had never dreamed possible.
When Gary finally stood and went to the podium for the first time, the church fell silent. Gary stood and looked at his hands for the longest time. Then he raised his head and looked at the faces of the people he’d come to lead. Tasha was sure he must have looked upon every face in the sanctuary.
He smiled then, bringing a smile and chuckle to the lips of many others. “I have no idea,” he said at last in wonder, “why you people think you need me.”
A roar of laughter arose, followed by applause.
“
I don’t know what you think I’m going to do here, today. You stole my message! Everything the Lord gave me to say today, has already been given in the psalms and in prophecy.” he complained with a deep chuckle.
“
I can see this is going to be a hard job. Now, I’m going to have to go deeper, so you all had better pray for me. I had so wanted to make a good impression, and now you’ve gone and stolen my thunder!”
Then, all hint of mirth was instantly gone. Tasha saw Gary lifted up into the spirit as the people began to pray. Speak, he did. God clearly led him forward from where the service had taken them, and Tasha was dazed in wonder, at the way it had happened.
The end result was a deep trust and satisfaction on the part of the people for their new pastor. It was clear that he was deeply rooted in the Word and the heart of God. The church was blessed by the wonderful revelation the Lord gave him to share that Sunday morning.
Tasha had to chuckle as she remembered plotting to drag Gary out of the church. She hadn't any idea then, what it was all about. It was so obvious that her efforts would have been futile! How foolish she’d been to ever think it was possible, or that she’d really ever want to! It simply underscored the work the Lord had done in her life; she was truly, a new woman in Christ.