Authors: Sylvia McDaniel
"For a traveling company they were excellent. We really should think about taking Suzanne to a performance," she acknowledged.
Connor sighed. "Yes, you're right, but tonight I wanted it to be just the two of us."
Alexandra swallowed. Was the man insatiable? Why would he say such things when he planned to meet Lizzie later tonight?
Connor moved restlessly in the darkened space. "We have so little time alone without either Suzanne or the servants underfoot. Besides, I know things have not been good between the two of us. I want to change that."
Just then, the carriage hit a bump and almost pitched Connor into Alexandra's lap. He caught himself by the arms, just before he toppled on top of her, his hands on either side of her head. They were mere inches apart, in total darkness.
Alexandra felt him more than saw him, though his body was dimly outlined in the darkness. He was so close, and for just a moment, she thought he was going to sit beside her and she wanted him to. Though why she felt that way when she was certain he was going back to meet Lizzie when they returned home was beyond her. What was it about this man that both attracted and repelled her at the same time, and why couldn't she seem to remember he was no better than Gordon?
He moved back to the seat across from her. "I'm sorry. Fred is used to driving a plow, not a carriage."
"It was an accident," she managed to
utter,
trying to control the rapid beat of her heart.
The air inside the carriage felt warm and heavy. There seemed to be an almost languid heat building inside the small space, a heat that had nothing to do with atmospheric changes.
Connor glanced out the window and cleared his throat. "We should be home soon. I know you must be tired."
"Yes," she said, her voice clipped. He wasn't concerned about her wellbeing. It was just that the sooner they arrived at River Bend, the sooner he could slip away.
He shifted uncomfortably on the seat. "I'm glad William gave us the tickets. I was afraid you wouldn't go with me."
"Of course I would.
Especially to see
Falstaff
."
The carriage pulled to a stop, and a quick glance out the window confirmed they were home. Alexandra swallowed nervously, dreading confirmation of her fears. Now he would leave her, since he'd seen her safely home. His conscience could rest easy on that score, while he went to visit his lover.
Alighting from the carriage, Connor turned to help Alexandra disembark. He placed her right hand on his arm, and they strolled up the stairs to the house. With each step, Alexandra's heart seemed to beat more fiercely.
With each step, she didn't know if she dreaded or anticipated the sound of his leaving.
What would she do? Could she go to bed and sleep knowing her husband was on his way back into town, to his former paramour? Knowing he would spend the night in Lizzie's arms?
He opened the door and they entered the house. Leona had left several lamps burning for them, lighting the way to the staircase.
Connor stopped but held onto her arm as he turned out the lamps. Together they proceeded up the stairway. By the time they reached the top, Alexandra was a bundle of nerves.
The glow of a lamp filled their sitting room with a cozy welcoming light, a light that reflected off the smooth planes of Connor's handsome face.
Once inside their sitting area, he turned to her. Nervously, she pulled her gloves off, focusing on her hands while she anticipated him telling her good night.
He bowed and lifted the back of her hand to his lips and kissed it gently, before turning it over and kissing the inside of her palm. She almost gasped aloud at the feel of his lips against her skin.
Straightening from his waist, he pulled her closer to him. His lips were mere inches from hers. "Thank you for the most pleasant evening I've ever had. I never knew the opera could be so enjoyable."
Before she could respond, his lips briefly brushed against hers, leaving her yearning for more.
"Good night, Alexandra. Sleep well."
He turned away, his steps quick and sure as he strode to his room. Entering his bedroom, he closed the door firmly behind him.
For a moment, Alexandra stood stunned, rooted to the spot. He had left her standing in their sitting area. Of course he had no knowledge that she'd overheard his conversation with Lizzie. The man was waiting for her to retreat to her bedroom. Then he would make his departure for his mistress.
She walked slowly to her room. Her body ached with an unfamiliar awareness. A sensual hum vibrated inside her, a need that one man had awakened, a need she'd never known before.
Opening the door to her room, she stumbled inside, aware of a weariness of spirit that gripped her. Peeling off her dress, she hung her clothes in her wardrobe. Unpinning her hair, she slowly pulled the brush through her locks, delaying the moment she would crawl into bed. How could she sleep while she listened for the squeak of a door, a creak on the staircase, or the thunder of hooves on the ground outside?
How could she sleep while she waited for Connor to prove he was no better than her
exhusband
?
Laying the hairbrush down, she pulled a chair in front of the window, and glanced out to see moonlight glistening off the bam. Sitting, she waited for the scoundrel to sneak across the yard, determined to catch him at his deception.
A night owl hooted in the stillness, and the moon reached its peak, and still she waited. She had to know the truth regarding his meeting with Lizzie. Part of her wanted to believe he wouldn't go, but the part that had been so badly burned by love before waited, expecting the worst.
Her eyelids drooped and she fought the veil of sleep that
threaten
to close her eyes. She had to stay awake. A quick glance at the clock on her fireplace mantel showed the night was slipping away and morning would soon dawn.
She stood and stretched, her limbs stiff from sitting in the chair all night. Had she
fallen
asleep and missed Connor's departure, or was he still in his bedroom sleeping?
Curiosity sent her searching for answers. Opening her bedroom door, she tiptoed across the sitting room, and stood before his bedroom. She leaned her head against his closed door and listened. The sound of quiet snores came through the wooden portal, stunning Alexandra.
Connor was fast asleep! Obviously he had no intention of meeting Lizzie anywhere tonight.
Stunned, Alexandra made her way back to her own room. Why had it mattered so much what Connor had done tonight if she had no feelings for him?
The realization hit her with such force that she almost ran back into her room. She wanted Connor back in her arms, sharing him with no one else. Sometime during the last few months, the resolve around her heart had weakened and now lay vulnerable to Connor's passions. Heaven help her! Sometime during the last few months, she had begun to care for the rake.
***
The next morning a
blearyeyed
Alexandra hurried downstairs for breakfast. With barely two hours sleep, she felt exhausted, and knew her late night showed in the shadows beneath her eyes.
When she walked into the breakfast room, Connor jumped up and hurried to her side.
"Good morning," he said as he pulled out her chair. "I trust you slept well?"
She gazed up at him. How could she explain that she had spent the night listening for his departure? "No. Actually I slept very little. I guess it was the excitement from the opera."
Connor smiled. "I hope you enjoyed the evening."
"Very much.''
But the morning sun made it even better, with the realization that Connor must have turned Lizzie down. Somehow she had assumed he would automatically want to meet with Lizzie, and with Alexandra's headlong flight, she had never heard his acknowledgment. Now she realized he must have refused Lizzie, and this morning, even though she was exhausted, she couldn't help but feel elated at the same time.
Maybe he wasn't quite the philandering rakehell she thought after all. Maybe he was only a tidbit of a rakehell.
She shook her head. She was so tired, she wasn't making any sense.
"Well, I hate to leave such pleasant company this early in the morning, but I must see to the fields," Connor acknowledged. He glanced at her, his eyes skimming her face. "Why don't you spend the day resting? You look exhausted."
She reached out and laid her hand on his arm. "Thank you, Connor."
"Whatever for?"
"For taking me last night.
For buying me the new opera glasses."
She took a deep breath and released it slowly.
"For not meeting Lizzie afterward."
Connor looked taken back. "You overheard us?"
"Partly.
I left when she asked you to meet her. I didn't want to hear your response."
He lifted her hand and kissed the back of it. "Why in the world would I want to meet her when I have such a lovely wife?
A woman who is so much more than a flighty piece of fluff like Lizzie?"
Alexandra felt her cheeks redden. "Thank you."
"My pleasure, dear.
I'll take you to every opera that comes to town if it brings this kind of results. I promise you, you're the only woman I have any interest in," he said, his steady blue eyes never leaving her face.
She cleared her throat, trying to steady the rapid beating of her heart, to clear the mist of tears from her eyes. "That's a big promise coming from Charleston County's most notorious bachelor."
"Ah, but you forget. The bachelor is a married man now." He leaned over and brushed his lips across hers.
"A very married man."
***
Several days later, Connor barged into the parlor, interrupting Suzanne's afternoon lesson. "Get ready, ladies. We're going for a swim today!"
"I can't," Suzanne lamented.
"Why not?
I took the afternoon off from the fields just to spend time with my two favorite girls."
"I'm going to tea with Sarah Rutherford."
Connor shrugged his shoulders. "Oh, well. Alexandra and I will just have to go swimming without you."
Suzanne stuck out her bottom lip at her brother.
"Aha! The childish imp is still alive and well inside that young woman's body."
Suzanne flounced out of the room. Connor and Alexandra looked at each other and burst out laughing.
"That was wicked of you, Connor."
"What are big brothers for, but to tease and torment their younger sisters?"
"I wouldn't know. I didn't have any brothers or sisters."
"That's what wrong with you. You have no one to torment in your life except me."
She smiled. "Only when you deserve it, and you've
been very deserving
."
He shrugged in acquiescence. "Get your bathing costume and we'll go swimming."
"I told you the first day we were married that I don't swim. I drown. Besides, I don't even own a bathing costume."
Connor smiled. "What a coincidence. I happened to pick up a bathing costume for you in town. I knew that sooner or later we would be in the water together, so I can teach you."
"To drown?" she asked, her gaze dubious.
"No, silly, to swim," he said, exasperated. "Come on, it'll be fun, Alexandra. You don't even have to get into the water if you don't want to."
Reluctantly, Alexandra went upstairs against her better judgment. The thought of spending time alone with Connor was intriguing. After the opera, there had been a gradual shift in their attitude toward one another. She had softened, and Connor was all but tripping over himself to be nice to her.
When she came back downstairs, the buggy was hitched and ready to go. Connor seemed bursting with excitement and once everything was loaded into the surrey, they were off. After a short buggy ride, they came to the Ashley River. The river ambled along, the water seemingly unmoving. Connor watched as Alexandra gazed at the water, her eyes big and wide with fright.
Connor hurried around to help Alexandra alight from the surrey. As he held her in his arms, she asked fearfully, "Where will I change?"
"See that grove of oak trees? You can change over there."
She looked at him, the lines of her forehead gathered like a storm cloud. "You expect me to disrobe behind some trees?"
"Oh, come on, it won't be bad."
"What if someone sees me?"
"There is no one out here but you and me." A slow smile spread across his face. "You
know,
if you would feel more comfortable, I could go with you and help you undress."
She stepped out of his arms. "No!"
He shrugged. "It was worth a try."
Reluctantly, Alexandra disappeared into the grove of trees. While she was gone, Connor changed into his own bathing costume, an old pair of pants. He'd yet to buy himself one of those new bathing suits. This would do him just fine. After what seemed like forever, she stepped out from the bushes and awkwardly approached him.