A Seacat's Love (Oceanan Trilogy Book 1) (19 page)

Normally tied back, Rick’s lustrous hair flowed like a golden halo around his massive shoulders. This was another sign that something was wrong, since the only time Rick allowed his hair loose was when he bathed and when he had a terrible headache. And the only time Rick McCall got a headache was when his thoughts were in turmoil, like now.

“I feel like…an alien has possession of my soul.”

Carol Ann pressed her lips together, trying not to laugh. Rick sounded downhearted. Something was seriously bothering him. She could not afford to laugh or let him think she was not taking him seriously. “Why do you feel like an alien has possession of your soul?”

“For starters, I have no control over my own body. I’m feeling things I’ve never felt before. Not even with Mary, and you know how much I loved her.” His shoulders slumped lower.

Carol Ann grew more concerned. “What exactly are you feeling?”

“Fear. Frustration. Anger. The likes I’ve never felt before. Jealousy so intense it stops me from thinking clearly and keeps me from breathing.” He continued in a much softer tone. “I feel myself falling into an abyss surrounded by a pale blue light.”

He made the declaration with such emotional intensity that tears gathered in his eyes and his hands curled into tight fists. He quickly swiped at the tear that escaped, jumped off the bed, and hurried to the window.

But he was too slow. Carol Ann had seen the tear. “And what do you want to do about it?” She believed she already knew what his problem was.

It was a while before Rick could answer her. When he finally did, it was in a low, strained voice. “I want to fall into the abyss. To embrace it. I want its pale blue light to cleanse my soul. I want my essence to become one with it…forever.”

“It sounds to me like you’ve fallen in love,” she tenderly told him.

“Oh, God, Carol Ann, no.” Moving away from the window, Rick returned to her. “Not again. I can’t go through that again.” He knelt before her and placed his head on her lap. Wrapping his arms around the lower parts of her legs, he whimpered, “Not again.”

Carol Ann caressed his hair. “Why not, Rick? It’s been three years. Mary would’ve wanted you to be happy.” She massaged his scalp. That always seemed to have a calming effect on him. “I saw the way she looked at you as you left the house this afternoon. I don’t think you’ll have any problems making her fall in love with you. I think she already is.”

She received as a reply a loud groan that seemed to have been ripped from Rick’s soul. Her forehead wrinkled. “Rick, what is it? There’s something you’re not telling me here, isn’t there?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Then start from the beginning.”

“The man called Tigif, did you meet him?”

“Yes. He introduced himself to me. He said he was a friend of yours from work.”

Rick released a strained chuckle. “He’s no friend of mine.”

Hearing that age-old warning signal in her head, Carol Ann cautiously asked, “Who is he then?”

“I’m not sure.” With haunted eyes, Rick looked up at her. “He claims to be her lover.”

Carol Ann’s frown deepened. “You can’t be serious. Are you having an affair with another man’s woman? Rick, how could you?”

“What the bloody hell do you mean ‘how could I’? What’s the matter with you?” He shot to his feet. “You actually think I would do such a thing. Besides, it’s a he-said, she-said type of thing with those two. I don’t know which one is telling me the truth.”

“I see. I’m sorry.”

“Well, you should be. You know me better than that.”

“Yes, I do. I’m sorry. So what makes you think they’re lovers? Did she tell you?”

“No.”

She was suspicious. “Did he?”

“Yes.”

“Aah.”

“Aah, what?”

“Jealousy.”

Rick scowled.

“From him, I mean. He must like her.” Carol Ann shrugged one shoulder. “And he feels threatened by you. Therefore, he lied.”

“Oh,
really?”
Rick crossed his arms. “What makes you think it’s that simple?”

“Well…” She gestured to him. “For starters, you’re better looking than he is.”

“That’s because you’re biased.”

Carol Ann twisted her lips. “All right then, what exactly did he say to you?”

Rick played back the confrontations he had with Tigif at his house in Arizona and the hotel room.

“So…” Carol Ann bent her left arm in a right angle, adjacent to her midsection. Her right elbow rested on her left wrist. She held her chin with her right thumb and tapped her nose with her index finger.

“
She
said he was engaged to her sister, which she later discovered was a lie.
He
said she has no other siblings, except her brother, Challen.
He
said she invented this story so that you would think she was eligible, while all along she’s actually his lover and has been for quite some time. This also isn’t the first time she’s tried something like this, huh?”

Her finger tapped away on her nose. “Hmmm. A ploy? Humph. A ploy to get her, I’ll bet.”

Rick’s face scrunched up. “What are you mumbling?”

“I think he’s the one playing games, Rick. There’s something about him I don’t like. I don’t trust him, and neither should you.”

“You’re saying that because you’re a woman like her.”

“I’m saying it because I think it’s the truth.” She nodded to him. “But if you don’t believe me, you’re the spy here. What does your gut instinct tell you?”

Rick thought for a moment. “That he’s lying.”

“There you have it. You’re instincts have never failed you before.”

“Yes, they have.” Rick stared into her eyes. “Three years ago.”

“Rick—”

“I thought I could take him. I was wrong. Mary and my baby died because of my poor judgment.” He gestured to the door. “I think he’s lying. What if I’m wrong…again?” Rick looked away. “Something inside of me felt like it woke up.” He pictured Leonora staring up at him with passion in her eyes.
“I want her.”
He met Carol Ann’s eyes. “I want her more than anything in the world.”

“Then go to her.”

“I can’t.”

“Rick—”

“You don’t understand. I loved Mary—”

“And you always will. But Mary is dead—”

“Exactly!” he cut her off. “She’s gone. And she’s never coming back. I died that day. I almost lost my mind. If it wasn’t for you and Lance, I don’t know what would’ve happened to me.” His eyes watered. “This time…it’s different. What I feel is completely different. Unique. I didn’t feel this with Mary. Not any of it. If I tell Nora how I feel and she feels the same way about me…” He rushed to the window.

“If she feels the same way about you, then the two of you would be happy.”

“Until I die,” he whispered. His chest constricted.

“What?”

“She’ll be leaving soon.” He struggled against the pain and the inability to breathe. “Why?!” he yelled as he punched the glass to a framed artwork that hung on the wall next to the window. The glass shattered, tearing the art within and Rick’s knuckles. Blood swiftly began to drip onto the wooden floor.

“Rick!” Carol Ann cried. “You don’t know that. If you tell her, she might decide to stay.”

Rick’s head dropped forward. “There’s a lot you don’t know, sweetheart.”

“Then stop punching holes in my artwork and enlighten me.”

Rick examined his bleeding knuckles and the embedded shards of glass, while taking a seat on the bed’s edge. Carol Ann ran to the adjoining bathroom and snatched the hand towel from the ring holder. She hurried to where Rick sat and wrapped his hand carefully in the towel.

Rick tried to prepare her for the shocking story. He explained what he had done and why. In the end, he wondered why he had even bothered preparing her.

“Oh, Rick, you always did know how to make me laugh,” she managed to say between burst of laughter. “Even when there’s something seriously bothering one of us, you always managed to make a joke.”

“It’s no joke, Carol Ann,” he stated flatly.

The young woman continued to giggle. At seeing Rick’s somber expression, she sobered. “You can’t be serious. There’s no such
thing as aliens from another planet—another country maybe, but not another world. That’s just someone’s overactive imagination… isn’t it?”

Rick shook his head at her hopeful look. “No, I’m afraid not.”

“But I always thought aliens would be short and green with a big head and big, black eyes—not a tall, handsome man and a beautiful, creepy-eyed woman who have funny names.”

“Only in the movies, sweetie. And that’s only half of it.”

“There’s more?”

“You’ll see,” he told her. “And boy, will you see. Good night.” He kissed her on her forehead and left.

Rick entered his bedroom through the adjoining doors. He did not bother changing his clothes. He knew sleep would elude him this evening as it had done for some time now. He sat in his reading chair beside an open window and listened to the lullaby of the sea.

He ignored the throbbing in his hand and thought about his wife and the years they had shared. He missed her. He missed her laughter and her funny way of doing things. He was happy with her, even though there were things he had tried to change about her. He smiled. There were things she had tried to change about him, but Rick had refused. They both had. Still, he loved her, and what they had shared would live forever in his heart.

No matter what happens, I’ll never forget you. You were my first love. Thank you for everything, Mary. Thank you for our daughter, Samantha
.

Rick glanced at his hand. He stood and went into the master bathroom. Using his left hand, he placed everything he would need to clean and bandage his wounds on the counter. He switched the faucet on and plugged the sink. He removed the towel from around his hand. He wondered how Leonora would respond when she saw his bandages. He dipped his hand in the water. His jaw tightened. He hoped she would care.

You have turned my planned-out life inside out. You have awakened feelings in me I thought were dead. You made me start to dream again. Dreams a man like me have no right dreaming. But how can I take the chance when you’re leaving?

Rick gazed at his reflection in the mirror. Leonora’s image gradually replaced his. “I feel lost and confused without you. I feel so cold, so scared, and empty whenever I think about you leaving me and never coming back.”

He reached with his left hand to caress her image. “I love you. I can’t look at you without loving you. I can’t speak to you without feeling that I would die for you. I can’t have your mouth near me without my lips seeking to kiss you. So how then can I continue to stay away from you? How then can I live my life after you leave, when you, Nora, have become my life?” The image of the woman he loved faded, and his own reappeared.

Closing his grief-stricken eyes, Rick lowered his hand. A tear rolled down his cheek—a tear that was followed by its twin.

Rick left his room and made his way into the kitchen without saying good morning to his guests already sitting in the kitchen’s eating area reading the morning paper. He noticed Leonora paused in her reading to look at him. Her attention lowered to his bandaged hand. When she made no comment on it and flipped the page to continue reading, he was disappointed.

He tried to put aside the hurt and focus on preparing breakfast for everyone. Because of the bandages and the tenderness in his hand, Rick struggled with mixing batter, pouring liquids, buttering toasts, and handling the three heavy pans he placed on the stove. He looked at Leonora for help, but she left the huge kitchen without offering any assistance. He felt insulted and a bit angered.

Muttering to himself, Rick continued to cook the best he could. He was unaware that the kitchen towel he used to hold the pans’ handle was too close to the flame. As he reached into the cabinets above the stove for seasonings, it caught on fire. He cried out in surprise. He released the handle and began waving the towel in the air. The pan was too close to the edge and fell to the ground. There was food everywhere.

Carol Ann and Tigif rushed into the kitchen. Tigif plucked the burning towel from Rick’s bandaged hand, threw it into the sink, and sprayed water on it. Carol Ann was right behind him, thrusting Rick’s burning bandages under the water. Through the smoke and above their heads, Rick searched for Leonora. He was certain she would be worried about him. He wanted to reassure her that he was fine. But, she was not there. He was hurt.

Leaving the mess for Tigif and breakfast to Carol Ann, Rick went to his bathroom to rebandage his hand. Exiting his bedroom, he sought Leonora. He wanted to speak to her about her lack of concern. He found her outside on the deck sitting in one of the patio chairs staring out at the beach.

Her swollen eyes and the dark circles underneath them sidetracked him. He asked her if she was feeling okay. Without acknowledging him, Leonora went inside the house to watch the early news with Tigif in the living room. Rick’s hurt increased, as did his anger.

Carol Ann finally announced the food was ready. She began to set the table situated to one side of the large kitchen. To keep from thinking about Leonora’s behavior, Rick helped against Carol Ann’s wishes.