Authors: Ellen Wolf
‘
Good
.
’
S
he
wouldn’t admit it was hurting, not after the look of worry that was in his eyes. ‘I
’
m sorry about your clothes
,
though
.
’
He
had changed while she was sleeping
, his
elegant suit replaced by a pair of dark jeans and a grey t-shirt. She cringed
,
remembering all the
bloodstains
that soiled his outfit for the gala.
He wasn’t sharing her
regrets
,
that much was sure. ‘
It
is nothing, really. All that matters is you are here, with me
.
’
S
uddenly
, he was holding her to him, carefully
,
as if she
w
ere
a delicate china doll he
mustn’t
break
.
‘I was so worried, Jade. I don’t think I
’ve
ever
been
as worried in my entire life.’
It must have been the shock that she had read about, she thought dazedly.
Otherwise, h
ow
could she explain the tremor in his voice, his heart beating unevenly under her cheek
?
‘I
’
m fine
.
D
on’t
worry
.
’
S
he
had to get back into her space, away from the treacherous promise of his embrace. If she allowed herself to stay there any longer, it would only
be
harder later, when he was over his shock.
‘I should call Laura
.
’
S
he
freed herself from his embrace delicately, desperate to break the silence between
them
.
‘
S
he
’
ll be worried sick.’
‘I did already
.
’
H
e
wasn’t so easy
shake
off. His hand went to hers, warm and strong as he pulled her with him to the kitchen. She looked at the table set with food and two
water
glasses
, her heart going out to this man who looked at her almost warily, dark eyes expectant.
‘I will take you home
,
of course
,
’ he
promised,
sliding the chair for her and pouring her some of the
sparkling, clear
liquid. ‘
But
I thought I should feed you first a bit.’
She was surprised to find that she was actually hungry. Maybe it was the
shock
,
or
maybe it was
the fact that the fresh baguette and tapenade sandwiches smelled way too appealing to be ignored for much longer. It was a simple meal, relying on
what
he had in his fridge. Just a few spreads and a veggie
salad that
she suspected he
had
made himself. But it all tasted
divine
,
and she ate it obediently, aware
that
his gaze
return
ed
to her time and time again.
When they were done, she agreed
to let
him to clean up the table, as he sent her off to the living room with her glass. Soon he joined her, sitting next to her on the sofa.
‘I realized something today
,
’ he said unexpectedly, his eyes intent as he put down his empty w
ater
glass. It was a very wide opening for a conversation, she thought as she finished her own drink, putting her empty
glass
next to his. She wasn’t sure she was ready for any more dramatic developments. If he was trying to apologize for his idea to use her help in his dealing with
Mel
, he could rest assured she didn’t blame him at all. But maybe this was just the start?
She was suddenly anxious, imagining him telling her that the charade was over
,
and she was free of this game of pretense. It
hadn’t gone
too well so far
,
and
it
would only
be
right
for him
to find someone else t
o
replace her. She wasn’t ready for it, she thought miserably, as stubborn tears started to escape from under her eyelids, her humiliation complete. She didn’t care anymore to hid
e
them. The shock from
the evening’s events,
together with her nightmare
and
the pain in her arm
,
blended together into
something bigger and more difficult than anything she was ready to tackle. She would miss him so much, was her only coherent thought as she pressed her palm against her mouth to stop herself from sobbing.
‘God, J
ade. I am sorry
.
’
I
n an instant
he had pulled her into
his lap, her
wet face
against the soft fabric of his
t-shirt.
‘I didn’t mean to upset you, baby
.
’
W
arm
lips came to kiss her hair and
,
after she had lifted her head
,
moved on to her forehead and wet, teary eyes.
‘
It
’
s me, not you
.
’
S
he
shook her head, trying to explain her sudden meltdown
.
‘I
’
m an idiot, Liam. I promised myself
I’d
be stronger and keep it together so you
would
n’t
have to deal with my feelings. I know what you must be thinking
.
’
‘I don’t think you do, actually
.
’
W
as
it a smile in his voice as he held her to him, the powerful muscles of his thighs moving under her as he readjusted her to be even closer
?
‘I
’
m surprised myself, I have to admit. After I allowed myself to actually let my guard down and see things for what they are, it became
very clear how wrong I was to drag you into this whole mess
.’
She
was right then, Jade thought with
a
sinking feeling. He regretted getting involved with
her,
their relationship
simply a mess, nothing more.
‘Don’t worry about it
,
’ she said in a hoarse voice, trying
unsuccessfully to
move away from his lap. It proved too much of a challenge, the iron ring of his arms keeping her in place. ‘
You
were very clear from the beginning, Liam. I knew exactly what to expect
,
and the sudden faux pas from yesterday won’t change anything. I don’t want anything from you that you aren’t willing to give.’
‘
But
that’s exactly it
.
’
H
e
kissed the trace of moisture on her cheek, his lips
moving
toward the corner of her mouth. ‘I
’
m tired of this whole thing I thought
I
’d
built for myself in the last
few
years. And don’t you call our lovemaking a faux pas. It was anything but that.
‘I meant that it was wrong of me to ask you for this favor
,
Jade,
knowing deep down that there was more to it than just
us
acting for Mel. Yes,
that
matter
ed,
too, but I knew all along that I
had done
it because I couldn’t stand the thought of you disappearing
again. It gave our relationship some purpose,
something
that I was desperate to establish.’
O
K
, so she must have been suffering some kind of posttraumatic reaction to her injury, Jade thought. How otherwise could she explain what she was
hearing?
Maybe she was still asleep, imagining him saying all the things she longed to hear?
‘
I
didn’t allow myself to show you what I felt, because I was convinced that it was for the best. For you mostly
,
’ he continued, his eyes dark and remote. ‘
After
all the mess
es
I
had
made with my other relationships, I knew I wasn’t really the best material for more than a friend. And I almost managed to keep myself strictly in
th
at
role
.
B
ut
it didn’t matter in the end, because I broke all the rules I
ha
d
set up
when
I slept with
you
.’
‘I dragged you to the house
,
’
s
he
corrected him instantly, her cheeks hot. ‘
If
I
ha
dn’t,
you wouldn’t even
have
dream
t
about sleeping with me.’
‘I dreamt about
doing
it enough times
.
’
H
is
response was wry
,
and he kissed her again, this time on her lips. ‘
You
just showed me a shortcut, that’s all
.
’
His
kiss was all she could have wanted, she thought as she felt the firm pressure of his lips demanding a response that she wasn’t able to withhold. It was only when she moved in his arms that her arm throbbed
,
reminding her of the injury she
had
sustained. She gasped and he stilled, his lips slowing down to the pleasurable pace that sent shivers down her spine.
‘And then I saw you with Mel
,
’ he continued, his eyes wistful
.
‘I saw her holding
that
gun
,
and I thought that I might be unable to save you. That she would shoot you right there
because
it was impossible to predict the madness that was in her mind.
And that you would be gone without me telling y
ou what you really mean to me, J
ade. It was horrible and liberating at the same time, because I knew that once we managed to survive this dram
a, I wouldn’t hesitate any longer
.
’
‘
You
don’t have to
.
’
S
he
shook her head violently, her brown hair rippling against the soft fabric of his
t-shirt
. ‘I know that you feel responsible and all, but I
’
m telling you, it
’
s all good. Don’t try to make me feel better just because you know I
’
ve been hopelessly into you since forever.’
‘I
’
m glad to hear it
.
’
H
e
was openly
laughing
now, his face tender
.
‘
I
t makes
this
much easier. And for the record
,
I was seriously shaken by our little episode twelve years ago. Let’s just say that I
’
ve measured all my other kisses
against
that
one
,
and they never quite lived up to my expectations. I was seriously tempted to kidnap you
when I moved
to California, since you were with me in my head all the time
.
’
She
was on cloud nine, Jade thought as she listened to him speak, the pain in her arm totally forgotten. She couldn’t feel anything but joy now, excitement starting to curse in her veins like liquid fire. He said
that
he cared
.
T
hat was her mantra now, simple and to the point. She looked up to him as she asked, her voice barely audible
,
‘
You
never tried to get in touch with me
.
’
S
he
didn’t want it to sound like an accusation, whiny and desperate.