A Second Chance (18 page)

“
Working
breasts?”

“
Yes, I won’t ever be
feeding a baby again, like Auntie Regan does.”

“
Oh.” She focused back on
the pamphlet. “So you won’t have those?” She pointed to a picture
of a nipple.

“
I could have that done, but
I don’t think I will.” She swallowed hard. Never before would she
have thought something like a nipple would be important to
consider. “But who knows, I might change my mind.”

Clara snuggled closer to her. “I’m
glad you’re feeling better, Mom. I was scared.”

“
You know what, honey?” She
smoothed her daughter’s hair with her hand. “So was I.”

“
Maybe when you feel better
about yourself, you’ll get married again.”

Her heart ached when she thought about
marriage. “Maybe I will, but I’m not too interested in that right
now.”

The day of her surgery, Madeline
pulled into the driveway of Carlos’s house. The sun hadn’t risen
yet, and the kids were still in their pajamas. They reluctantly
climbed out of the car and walked up the back steps to the
house.

The kitchen light was on, and Madeline
got out of the car and watched as they walked inside. She saw Kathy
in the window and she waved. She was glad the kids had stayed with
her for the night.

“
Today’s the day.” Carlos
stepped out of the house and stood on the step with a cup of coffee
in his hand.

He was shaven and dressed for the day.
She smiled up at him. It had been so long since she’d seen or
talked to him. All of his hair had grown back in, and he was as
handsome as ever.

She suppressed the stirring in her
stomach. “Yeah. In a couple of days I’ll look normal
again.”

“
Couple of days?”

“
My doctor says I can
probably go home in two days.”

His lips tightened, and she noticed
his eyes shift to her body. “Good.” He disappeared back into the
house.

Madeline shook her head. That had been
more awkward than she’d expected. He’d stopped talking to her and
coming by almost four weeks ago; why she thought he’d have a full
conversation with her was beyond her. She opened her car door and
caught sight of him though the kitchen window kissing his fiancée.
Kathy smiled up at him, and Madeline watched him pull his coat from
the hook and open the back door. She climbed into her car, not
wanting to draw out a moment that had obviously made him
uncomfortable, but he ran around the side and knocked on her
window.

Madeline let out a breath. She didn’t
want to talk to him, she wanted to drive away, quickly. Instead,
she rolled down the window.

Carlos zipped up his coat. “Park it
over there.” He pointed to the side of the driveway. “We’ll take my
car.”

“
What?” Her attitude had
taken a nosedive after watching him kiss Kathy as though he knew he
was on display.

“
I’m taking you to the
hospital and staying with you.”

“
Carlos, don’t
be…”

“
Park it, Maddie!” He smiled
with a wink of his eye, and she sat staring at him. What was she
supposed to do? First he’s in her face wanting to help her, then he
just disappears. Now there he’s standing here grinning at her
telling her he’s taking her to the hospital? Once she was done with
the surgery on her breasts, maybe she could get a lobotomy so she
could forget how much the man could twist her insides
up.

She reluctantly moved her car to the
area where he’d pointed, turned it off, and climbed out. By the
time her feet hit the ground, he had her bag out of the backseat
and the garage door open. She looked up at the window where Kathy
still stood looking out at them. She waved, but the smile on her
lips was forced. Madeline knew she might be supportive, but it
didn’t mean she was comfortable with Carlos’s decision to take care
of her.

Madeline followed him toward the
garage. “What’s going on?”

“
I already told you,” he
said as he walked toward his car.

“
No.” She grabbed his arm,
stopping him from putting the bag in the backseat. “You were in my
face from the minute Curtis called you and told you I was at the
hospital, and then one day you stopped calling. I haven’t seen you
in four weeks. Now here you are telling me what to do. Telling me
that you’re going to take care of me again? I don’t need your
charity, Carlos Keller.”

The dimple in his cheek deepened.
“Then think of it as Kathy’s charity, because she’s the one who
told me I had to take care of you again. Now get in the damn car or
you’re going to be late.”

Madeline huffed out a breath and
trudged around the other side of the car. She climbed in and
fastened her seat belt. As Carlos backed out of the garage, she
looked up at the back porch. Her children stood there in the
pajamas. Kathy stood in a robe with a cup of coffee. They all
smiled and waved, and the kids blew kisses. Tears fell from her
eyes as Carlos turned the car out of the drive and proceeded to the
hospital.

“
Thank you,” she finally
said as they turned onto the highway.

“
For what?”

She let her shoulders drop. There was
no need for tension when she was with Carlos. “For
caring.”

“
Well, I’m going to say
this, and then I’m going to hate myself for it, but I would have
been there for the past four weeks had it been up to
me.”

“
Kathy?” She should have
known. Carlos never would have just drifted away from
her.

“
Yeah, Kathy.” He signaled
to change lanes, checked the mirrors, and then glided into the
center lane and picked up speed. “She found she had a new emotion.
Jealousy. She hates herself for it, but it’s
understandable.”

“
I’ve kinda put a damper on
her perfect wedding.”

He shook his head. “No, she’s still
having the time of her life putting it together.”

Madeline twisted her fingers together.
Carlos’s eyes shifted to her and she set her hands flat on her lap.
She knew he was waiting for her to process her thoughts. There was
a time they could have a conversation without words. Though she
didn’t think they’d strayed too far from that. Madeline turned to
watch him. “She came by the other day and saw me.”

He made another lane change. “She told
me.”

“
Did you know she was going
to do that?” she asked, straightening her fingers and trying to
relax.

“
No. She told me she had a
meeting. I had no idea.”

Madeline nodded. She wanted to hate
the woman, but it was just impossible to do.

Carlos shifted a quick glance her way.
“You are going to come to the wedding, aren’t you?”

“
I don’t know. I just don’t
think it would be right.”

He shook his head. “I’d like you to be
there.” He reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze.

How could she tell him she wasn’t sure
if she could do it? She couldn’t stand the thought of him marrying
someone else. Watching him say I do to someone else just might
literally break her heart. But then again she deserved it. Karma
was a bitch.

Madeline checked into the hospital.
She was in a room having her vitals taken by six
o’clock.

The sun was rising outside her window.
She’d never paid much attention to little details like sunrises or
sunsets until she got sick. Now it was a habit to watch the sun
come up just to make sure it did.

Carlos walked back into her room.
“Okay, they say you’ll be going in about eight o’clock.” He packed
up the few items she’d taken out of her small suitcase and zipped
it up.

“
Okay.”

He moved to her side and took her
hand. “I’ll be here.”

“
Thank you, Carlos. Thank
you for everything.”

“
My pleasure, honey. Hey, I
also found something in the hallway. I thought you might like it.”
He moved to the door.

She sat up straighter. He still called
her by the pet names he’d called her when they were married. Oh,
how she wished it didn’t make her heart rate kick up when he
slipped them into conversation. “Really? What?”

The moment he opened the door,
Madeline gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. One by one
his family walked through the door.

“
You weren’t going to sneak
in this time.” Curtis crossed to her took her hand.

Alan and Emily walked to her side
next. Emily kissed her on the cheek and whispered to her in German.
Madeline didn’t know what it was she said, but she knew it was a
prayer.

“
I can’t believe they
wouldn’t let you wear your hair.” Arianna moved to her side. “I
hear you’re a knockout in the red one.”

“
It’s my favorite,” she
said, smiling up at her.

Regan pushed through the rest of them
and hugged her tight. “I hate that they wouldn’t let me bring Tyler
in for you to see him. Zach said he’d e-mail a picture when he got
him up and dressed. So you’ll be able to virtually see him when you
wake up.”

“
You’re going to be here
when I wake up?” Her voice cracked from the tears that stung her
throat.

“
We all are,” Regan
promised, and all heads nodded.

They all stayed in her room until it
was time for her to head to surgery. That kept her calm, but when
the nurse told them they’d have to leave, Madeline’s heartbeat
kicked up and her palms grew damp.

Only Carlos stayed behind and walked
next to her as they pushed her down the hall on her bed.

He held her hand, rubbing his thumb
over her knuckles. “You’re going to do great.” He leaned in close
to her.

“
I can’t believe your whole
family is here.” She’d always belonged more to the Kellers than she
did to her own family. Her mother had called the day before to say
good luck, but her sisters hadn’t said a word.

“
You’re family. You will
always be a part of our family.”

There was no reason to hold back the
tears that were induced by his sentiment. “Thank you.”

When they reached the door to the
operating room, Carlos lifted her hand to his lips and brushed them
with a kiss. “I’ll be here when you’re done.”

“
Promise?”

“
Promise.” He leaned in and
pressed his lips to hers and laid a warm, soft kiss on her
mouth.

Madeline took his hand and gave it a
squeeze. Love and compassion for the man at her side swirled inside
her. She had to say what was in her heart. “Hey,” she said looking
up into his dark eyes. “I love you,” she said, figuring she had
nothing to lose.

As they pushed her through the door,
she closed her eyes so she couldn’t see his reaction.

Carlos felt like he’d swallowed a box
of old-fashioned chalkboard erasers. He couldn’t get her words out
of his mind. During the first hour of her surgery, his family kept
giving him sorrowful looks. He mustn’t be containing his emotions
very well.

She’d meant them as a term of
endearment. Of course she loved him. They were friends and he was
taking care of her. They’d loved each other since they were
fifteen. They just hadn’t been able to function as a married
couple.

That had to be the part he kept in his
head. They couldn’t be married. It hadn’t worked out. Things were
just too hard for them to be married. But they could always love
each other as friends.

He pressed his hands to his face. What
had been the breaking point? Who had said it was over? He didn’t
know. But for years he’d lived with the fact that Madeline was
Matt’s wife. He’d searched for a woman he could love with all his
heart, other than Madeline. He’d finally found that woman in
Kathy.

What had Madeline really meant when
she said she loved him?

Without a word, he walked out of the
waiting room, but Arianna was hot on his heels. By the time he sat
down in the small chapel, she sat right next to him.

They were silent for a long time. He’d
expected some kind of lecture, but she didn’t say
anything.

He stared at the cross that hung from
the ceiling in front of the stained-glass window. “She told me she
loves me.”

Arianna nodded. “Did you ever doubt
that?”

“
I must have doubted it five
years ago.”

She took her brother’s hand. “You are
so supportive of her. She’s always going to love you for
that.”

“
I should have been more
supportive when she was my wife. I was so focused on finishing
school and going on in my career, I think I forgot what was
important. God, she worked two jobs, took care of the kids, and
supported everything I did. What did I do? I kept going to school
and was mostly unemployed.”

“
But you can’t blame
yourself. That was what you both agreed on.”

“
Yeah, and somewhere I lost
that, and Matt picked it up. He took care of her. I didn’t do that.
I didn’t give her the chance to enjoy her children or participate
in school events. I didn’t take care of her.”