A Second Chance (The Publicist, Book Four) (9 page)

Chapter 31

Mac left the building and went for lunch. He felt like Thai, and although it was a bit of a walk, he decided to go to a place his favorite place in Korea Town.

When he arrived, the restaurant was busy, but he wasn’t surprised, it was every local’s favorite. It’s this hole-on-the-wall place, with small, cafeteria-like tables where diners would crowd around. Often you’d see strangers sitting together just to have someplace to sit. Mac ordered and looked around. It was full. Well, there was one seat open, next to a woman with her head down, clearly alone. If he was lucky, he could grab it. Mac waited for his order and then walked over.

“Is this seat taken?”

The woman looked up.

It was Kate Mitchell.

Karma was really out to kick his ass today.

At first, Kate didn’t say anything and Mac looked around. It was, of course, the only chair free.

“Never mind, sorry. I didn’t see you there.”

Kate waved a hand, “Mac, it’s fine, sit down.”

“Are you sure?”

“Just sit, before someone else grabs it. Looks like we’re going to have that lunch you wanted after all,” Kate said almost matter-of-factly as she stabbed at her noodles.

“So, how are you?” she asked, though a part of her already knew. There was something off about Mac today, he seemed even more off his axis than when she’d run him the other day.

“Long day,” he offered, setting down his tray. “I was in the mood for Thai,” he said with a dark edge to his voice. There was a day when he would have given anything to see Kate again, to talk to her. Today was not that day.

“So you walked all the way here from 52
nd
Street? You
must
be having a bad day.”

“It’s fine, though I could say the same for you.”

“I was in the neighborhood, author meeting,” she said simply. “Speaking of, congrats on getting the Wonder Woman book.”

Christ. Well, of course she’d mention it. This whole day was dripping with irony.

“Thanks, yeah, it’s a pretty exciting project.”

“What’s she like?” Kate asked with genuine curiosity.

“Kate, can I tell you something?” Mac took a forkful of rice, considered it for a moment and then popped it in his mouth.

Kate’s eyes narrowed, “Um, sure…” The slight hesitation in her voice was evident. Mac knew the last thing Kate expected or probably needed was some confession.

“She and I were involved, years ago. When we were kids, we grew up together. She was my first love actually, but I didn’t know that till after we’d signed her because, you know, I hadn’t seen her in years. Her last name was different and she now goes by her middle name for her job. When I realized it…” Mac’s words trailed off.

“Did you get involved with her?” Then she quickly added, “I’m sorry. It’s none of my business.”

Mac shrugged, “No, it’s fine and yes we did. We rediscovered our old flame, only she is too busy saving the world to want to settle down.”

Kate set down her fork and turned to him, “Mac, are you in love with her?”

He followed her lead and looked her straight in the eyes, “I am, and I think part of me has never stopped.”

“And she’s….?”

“That’s the best part!” He said in mock irony, “She wants nothing to do with me, I mean she did, up to a point, but when things got dicey she decided it was too much. I feel like I’m dating myself.”

Kate let out a small laugh, “Oh Mac.” She said and her eyes softened. “I’m so sorry.” And he could tell she genuinely meant it. Of course she did, Kate was a quality person, even after all he’d done to her, she still didn’t want to see him hurt.

“It’s my penance,” he said, “for everything I’ve done.”
Kate blinked, “Wait, you really believe that?”

Mac shoved away his tray. Suddenly, he’d had enough and said, “It really doesn’t matter, Kate. She doesn’t want it, she isn’t ready.”

“Look, I’m sorry this happened, I really am, but just because she isn’t ready now doesn’t mean she won’t ever be, but the point is that you are, and that’s great.”

Mac raised an eyebrow, “So are you going to tell me to go out and find a nice girl and settle down and forget this ever happened?”

Kate covered her hand with his, “Time does heal, Mac. I know that better than anyone.” She gave him a soft, sweet smile.

“You seem happy.” Mac said, holding her eyes.

“I am, Mac, very happy and you will be, too.”

Somehow Mac doubted that.

. . . .

The run-in with Kate had been an odd twist on a day that had set out to mock him. By the time he returned to the office, he was told that Sydney was gone. He buried his disappointment in work until his assistant walked in.

“I’m sorry to disturb, but Sydney left this letter for you. She asked me to give it to you when you got back.” Beth handed him the sealed envelope and he took it and set it down immediately.

“She told me to tell you it’s urgent that you read it.”

“Thanks, I will. Beth, can you close the door when you leave?” Beth nodded and walked out, the door clicking behind her. When she was gone, Mac opened the envelope.

My dearest Mac,

I wanted to tell you this when I saw you earlier, but I became so overwhelmed by my feelings for you that I wasn’t sure where to begin. Also, as you’ve learned by now, I’m not terribly good at this. Years ago you sent me a letter that I never opened. You asked me to meet you at our special place and I never showed up. Now I am asking you, all these years later, to give me a second chance.

Do you remember the day we came to New York on that one-day summer camp thing? You told me you loved me that day. I’m asking you to meet me there. I’ll wait all afternoon. If you don’t show up, I’ll have my answer.

I love you.

Your Sydney

Mac stared at the letter for a moment and thought about her words. The place, how could he forget? He told her he loved her and they had kissed for the first time. He could still remember what it was like to kiss Sydney that day.

He was certain she was the only woman he’d ever love.

In one motion, Mac shoved his chair back, stood up and walked out of his office. “I need to run out, cancel my 1pm call if you would.” Luckily, he had a light afternoon; he could easily sneak away for a few hours.

Mac walked out of his office and hailed a cab.

“The High Line, please,” he said, referring to the park and walkway that was built over abandoned railroad tracks. They had kissed there, years before there was a High Line, back when it was pretty abandoned. They’d snuck off from the group and found a quiet place, where he told her he loved her, and then he kissed her. He remembered it like it was yesterday.

Chapter 32

Sydney wasn’t at all sure he’d show. He seemed pretty angry with her earlier and who could blame him? But now she knew, beyond a doubt, what she had to do. She gripped the railing and looked out, beyond the city. Lost in thought, she didn’t hear Mac approaching.

“I thought you were off on another mission.” She was startled by his voice and turned slowly to see him standing there.

“I am going on a mission. Perhaps the biggest one of my life.” She gave a tentative smile, reached down and grabbed a small suitcase that was at her feet and handed it to him. He paused before he extended a hand and took it.

“What’s this?”

“We call it our “go” bags, it’s what I take on missions.”
Mac began to hand it back to her, “You’ll need this then.”

Sydney shook her head and crossed her arms, “Open it.” She said softly.

Mac unzipped the bag and pulled a stack of his letters out, confused, he looked at her. “My letters? You’re giving them back to me?”

“No, I thought we could take them with us. Along with all of the mementos I kept from our time together, when we first fell in love.”

Mac set the bag back down and stuffed the letters back inside, “Where are we going, Sydney?” There was still a slight edge to his voice.

She smiled and walked over to him, “Wherever you want, as long as I am with you, I don’t care.”

He narrowed his eyes, “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I’ll never stop wanting to get the bad guy, but for the first time in a long time, I want something more, I want you.”

Mac took a deep breath and stepped towards her, “You’re sure?”

Sydney reached up and touched his face, “After you left, I realized that for the second time in my life I let the best thing in my life get away. After Joe was killed, I made it my mission to stop the bad guy. The agency teaches you to never second guess the trade-offs and when I was with you, that’s all I did.” She looked away for a moment and then looked back at him, “All of it sent me into a bit of an emotional tailspin, and after more than twenty-five years with the CIA, that’s pretty hard to do.”

Mac took a step toward her and reached for her hand, “I don’t want to take something from you that you love, at some point you’ll end up hating me for it.”

“You’re not; I’m not leaving the agency. I’m just not going to go on missions the way I used to.”

“I’m not a good bet, Syd.” He said tightly.

She gave him a speculative glance, “You mean your history with women?”

Mac nodded.

“One thing I’ve learned is that life is one big fat gamble and the odds are never in your favor. We take chances, some we win, and some we don’t.”

“Sounds pessimistic.”

Sydney shook her head, “No, it’s realistic. Things happen and the future is guaranteed to no one. We can only be happy now and let the rest unfold.” She narrowed her eyes and smiled playfully, “Also, I know people…”

He returned her smile, “To make me disappear?”

“Worse,” she nodded towards his pants and he let out a laugh, then Mac pulled her to him and held her tight, for a moment she thought her heart would burst open.

“Your necklace,” he said softly, “I noticed when you were in my office today, you weren’t wearing it.”

“I thought it was time to put the past away.”

She pulled back slightly and looked at him, his beautiful, chiseled face. It was different, older and wiser but still the same.

Her Mac.

He was the one. She knew it, and no matter how scary it was, or how easy it was to get lost in his eyes, she was simply, and undeniably his.

Mac bent his head down, “God, I love you.” He whispered before he pressed his lips to hers. Her vision flashed, her breath shuddered out of her and her heart felt too big for her chest.

He was hot, pressed against her. He pulled back, his breath uneven.

“I want it all, Sydney. You. Every day. For the rest of my life. Can you handle that?”

She smiled and reached up to kiss him again, “I thought you’d never ask.”

prologue

“Thanks for coming tonight,” Kate smiled as their cab pulled up to the hotel; she gave Nick a soft kiss on the cheek, “I’m sure this is the last place you want to be.”

“You mean because of Mac? Honey, I don’t care about the guy being around you, though he still bugs the crap out of me for reasons not related to us. I know this is important to you, so it’s important to me, and I know you still have a lot of friends who work there, so it’s good to show up and support them.”

Kate slid out of the cab as Nick paid the driver. It was a big night for Morris and Dean. The eve of the launch of the Wonder Woman book, they were hosting a big party, a sort of comeback for the publisher that most had written off.

It was all thanks to Mac Ellis.

“Is it weird that I’m sort of proud of my old company?” Kate asked as they walked inside.

Mac had worked tirelessly, getting new titles, realigning the business and rebranding the house, which he’d done flawlessly.

Nick smiled at his wife and held out his arm, he looked impossibly handsome in his tailored suit.

“I love you.” He bent his head and kissed her, “And no, it’s perfectly normal to feel proud of MD, even of Mac, and you know, I’m so proud of you, too. You’ve come so far from your days at Morris and Dean.”

“I love you, Nicholas Lavigne, and I love our little family and our life.”

Nick kissed her again, “I think we should stay for the least amount of time possible and then let me take you home and ravage you.”

“I would love that.”

They stepped inside, past the doorman and walked into the ballroom. It was already full of people and buzzing with conversations. Kate smiled and waved at some people she knew, other publishers who were also invited, but not necessarily connected with MD. There were several agents. She also spotted Delia off in the distance.

“Kate, Nick, glad you could make it.” Kate turned to see Mac, impeccably dressed in an expensive suit; he looked different than the day she’d seen him in the Thai place. He looked happy, and Kate could see a sparkle in his eye.

Nick nodded, never a fan of Kate’s ex, “Mac, looks like the company is doing well.”

Mac narrowed his eyes, a playful look on his face, “It’s been a long time, Nick. The last time I saw you, I think I was kicking your ass.” The fight they’d had over Kate felt like a million years ago to him now.

Nick shrugged and returned his stare. He took a sip of his champagne and kept his voice light: “That’s not actually what happened, but whatever you have to tell yourself to get through the day.”

“Boys,” Kate said, she knew Mac was teasing, but she wasn’t sure Nick took it that way.

“Mac, sounds like M.D. is on its feet again. You must be really proud.” That’s when she spotted it, the glint of a wedding ring on his hand. She grabbed it and smiled, “Mac! You’re married!” She gave him a gentle hug, almost a reflex. They’d been good friends once; then they were more.

“Congratulations,” Nick held out his hand and shook Mac’s. Kate made a mental note to remember the first time Nick and Mac were in the same room without tearing each other apart, verbally or otherwise.

Just then, a tall, stunning blond in a red dress walked up to them.

“Sydney, honey,” Mac turned and smiled at her. Actually, Kate observed, he beamed. “I want you to meet Kate Mitchell Lavigne and her husband Nick Lavigne. Nick, Kate, this is my wife. Sydney Sullivan, eh, I mean Ellis.”

Sydney’s smile broadened, “Nice to meet you both. “ She extended her hand to Nick first and then Kate, “I’ve heard so much about you,” she said to Kate, “it’s lovely to finally meet you.”

Kate returned her smile, “It’s really lovely to meet you, too. Congrats on getting married, I didn’t see it mentioned in any of the trades, nice work.”

Mac smiled to his wife, “No, once we decided, we flew in Syd’s family and had it in a small church where we grew up. We’re leaving on our honeymoon right after this event.” His eyes, the way he looked at Sydney, Kate could tell how much he loved her.

“Well, we should go mingle,” Kate said and then as they turned she leaned into Mac and whispered: “Good for you, Mac, I’m really happy for you.”

Mac looked at her for a moment and smiled, “Thanks, Katie, that means a lot, coming from you.” Then Mac turned back to his wife and swept her away, through the crowd.

“Do you have any idea how much I love you, Mrs. Ellis?”

Sydney smiled, “I’d love for you to show me again. When can we sneak out of here?”

“How about now?” A smiled teased his lips. “These people have enough champagne and food to keep them plenty happy without us. Let’s go officially start our life together.”