Authors: Andrea Grigg
Lainey examined herself in the mirror, grateful for waterproof mascara. She only ever wore a minimum amount of make-up and what she’d had on had disappeared. All over Nick’s chest. His lovely, broad, comforting chest.
He’d been so nice, holding her as she’d cried. He hadn’t seemed to have minded, in fact he’d appeared to be as upset as she was, minus the waterworks.
Coming to terms with what had happened to the letters would take some time. The best part was knowing Nick hadn’t dumped her after all. She’d come very close to telling him her secret but had chickened out at the last minute. She just couldn’t do it yet. Anyway, she
was
hungry.
I
t was only a ten minute walk down to the cafés and shops overlooking the beach and the park. The uncomfortable heat had gone and lots of people were about. It was the perfect time for a stroll on the beach.
Angelo’s Pizza and Pasta was only small, but busy. Nick was greeted by a smallish, white-haired man with a big smile, expertly wielding pizza dough.
‘Hey! Mr Nick. How are you?’
‘I’m good, Angelo, and you?’
Lainey noticed people give Nick a second glance and whisper to their friends.
‘Marco! Mr Nick’s special please.’ A man Lainey took to be one of Angelo’s sons appeared with a pizza box and a plastic bag with two cans of drink in it. ‘Here you go, for you and the beautiful lady.’ Lainey was flashed a grin which she managed to return.
‘Thanks, Marco, Angelo. See you around.’ Nick gave them a salute and they made their way outside.
‘I rang and ordered while you were in the bathroom,’ he explained when she remarked on the speedy service. ‘I took my chances on what kind of pizza you like.’
‘No anchovies?’
‘No anchovies. I remembered.’ The warmth of his smile made her catch her breath.
They followed the sloping path to the park and found a vacant table under one of the shelters facing the beach.
‘So,’ said Lainey, as she helped herself to the pizza, ‘is that what usually happens now? You get recognised straightaway like you did in the shop?’
‘Pretty much.’
‘Does it bother you?’
‘Hardly ever. People are mostly good but there are some annoying ones.’
‘Do you have trouble with the paparazzi?’
‘I’m not exactly Hugh Jackman or Nicole Kidman, Lainey, but they’re around.’
‘I’m glad you’re not Nicole, but I could handle Hugh.’
‘I’m sure you could.’
Lainey grinned and took a swig from her can. ‘So would there be any photographers around this evening?’
‘Probably not but you never know. Would it worry you if you were photographed with me and it ended up in a magazine?’
‘That depends.’
‘Depends on what?’
She ran her finger around the rim of the can. ‘What are we doing, Nick?’
‘I presume we’re not talking about eating pizza on the beach.’
‘No.’ She looked up and held his gaze and her heart skipped a beat.
‘Shall we go for a walk?’
‘Yes, please.’ She gathered up their rubbish and put it in the nearest bin, glad for something to do. ‘The ocean looks beautiful at this time of night, doesn’t it?’
‘It does, but before we go and enjoy it, there’s an important rule you need to know and I know how much you teachers like to abide by the rules.’
Lainey paused at the short flight of steps to the beach. ‘And what might that be?’
‘It’s not written anywhere but it states that women who have had an emotional afternoon are not safe on a beach at sunset without holding onto the hand of a man.’
‘Oh, I see,’ she said, ‘any particular man?’
‘Yes. They have to be taller than the woman concerned.’
‘It’s just as well I’m here with you then, isn’t it?’
‘Absolutely, or else you could be in danger.’
‘You’re such a goose, Nick.’ Lainey slipped her hand in his, her stomach experiencing zingy things at the contact. She nudged him with her shoulder as they began walking. ‘You only had to ask.’
‘Really?’
‘Really. Mind you, there’ll be no kissing.’
He feigned horror. ‘I should hope not! This is only our first date.’
‘
Is
it our first date?’
‘If you want it to be. What do you think?’
Red neon lights began to flash in a steady rhythm. ‘
No missionary dating!’
Years ago, all the youth had been made aware of the possible consequences of having a romantic relationship with a non-believer, presuming they could be won to Christ. She blinked away the lights. Anyway, Nick still believed in God. ‘I think I want to get to know you again before we decide anything like that.’
‘Isn’t that what dating is? Getting to know someone? And I haven’t changed much, Lainey. I’m still the same old Nick under all the other stuff.’
‘With chest hair. You didn’t used to have chest hair.’
He laughed loudly enough for another couple near them to stare and then do a double take when they recognised Nick.
Get used to it, girl.
She went fishing. ‘Do you want to get to know
me
all over again?’
‘Now who’s being the goose? Of course I do.’ He stopped and lifted her hand to his lips. ‘More than anything.’
‘I said no kissing.’ Lainey pulled away, pretending to scold, covering up the fact she had electrical currents whizzing up her arm. But when Nick grinned and recaptured her hand, she didn’t resist.
As they strolled along the beach, Lainey told him about her year out at Marshalls Creek, explaining her depression over their break up but stopping short of the whole truth. It was too soon.
She found out Nick still had a bit to do with their Gold Coast friends. He had bought a home there on the hill, overlooking their favourite beach. Nick explained how Hannah lived on the entry level and he had the lower two storeys for himself. Again, he had the perfect arrangement of a housekeeper, this time his mother. He tried to get up there as often as he could.
She heard all about her old friend Sharon and her husband Dave, who owned Irvine’s Café on the beach. Sharon had two children and was expecting her third in a few months. Lainey had a sudden yearning to see them all.
‘I’d love to go back there some day. Do they still all go to the Church in the Valley?’ she asked.
‘I guess. I don’t go myself, but I keep tabs on them all through Sharon. I visit the café a fair bit.’ Nick grinned. ‘Remember Nina, Sharon’s mother? She still likes to have a chat. If you like, I’ll explain to Mum about the letters and how upsetting that was and she can let Nina know and that’ll be that. Within a week everyone will know why you found it too hard to make contact. Maybe we could go up there together one weekend. You could stay upstairs with Mum. I know she’d love to have you.’
‘Don’t rush me, Nick.’
He stopped and looked at her, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand. ‘Lainey, if I like you and you like me, what’s the problem?’
‘I just need to take this slowly.’
He shrugged. ‘Okay. I’ll be patient. Can I see you tomorrow?’
‘Nick.’ She had to laugh, flattered.
‘I’ll have left you alone all day. What’s wrong with the night?’
She melted, but not completely. ‘Tomorrow’s my first day back and I’ll have too much to do. Tuesday is homegroup and Wednesday I’m playing squash. How about Thursday?’
His face fell. ‘Nope. I’ve got a charity dinner.’
‘Friday then. Is that okay? Oh!’ Lainey smacked her forehead with her hand. ‘I forgot. It’s Sarah’s birthday that night.’
‘Sarah, as in ‘The Brat’ Sarah?’
Lainey laughed. ‘Yup. She’s going to be twenty. Makes us old, doesn’t it? We get along really well now and she lives in one of the flats next door to me. We’re having a barbeque in the backyard. Would you want to come to something like that?’
‘If you don’t mind letting your friends know about me.’
She’d confessed to not telling anyone she knew him. Now they’d solved the letter mystery, he understood why she’d kept quiet.
‘They’ll have to know sometime, won’t they?’ That should give him some encouragement. Going by his smile, it did.
The drive home was far too short. She was tempted to ask him in but didn’t. ‘Thanks for today. All of it.’
‘My pleasure.’ Nick took her hand and kissed it again, his eyes challenging her to say something but she didn’t bother. She was enjoying it. Far too much.
He let go. ‘See you Friday, then.’
It seemed a long way away, but she’d asked for it. Lainey watched the tail lights disappear as he roared up the street. Nick was back in her life.
* * *
It seemed like Friday would never come, but when it finally rolled around it was worth waiting for. A big bunch of red roses arrived at work but it was the little card that came with them that made Lainey blush and her heart flutter.
Glad it’s Friday at last. See you at six. Love, Nick.
The card went straight into her treasure box.
That evening when he arrived, Lainey thanked Nick for the flowers but didn’t hug him, even though she wanted to.
Nick fitted in well with the crew. Kate, Lainey’s other flatmate, was gobsmacked at first, but Nick soon had her engaged in conversation as they carted stuff outside in preparation for the barbecue. Most guests had the same reaction as Kate, but Nick was good at making small talk, putting people at ease. Even so, Lainey kept checking on him, telling herself she was just being a good host. Whenever she caught his eye and he smiled, her stomach flipped. His message was clear – he was here to be with her.
Sarah arrived late as usual, even for her own party. ‘Sorry I’m late; I got held up at work.’
‘Happy birthday.’ Lainey hugged her. Over Sarah’s head she saw Nick excuse himself from a conversation and head towards them. ‘I’ve brought a guest with me. Recognise him?’
Sarah’s eyes bugged and she launched herself at him. ‘Nick! What are
you
doing here?’
He laughed as he caught her then held her away. ‘Happy birthday, Brat. Look at you. I can’t believe you’re twenty.’
‘And I can’t believe you’re
here
!’ Sarah shot her step-sister a puzzled look as she buried her nose in the giant bunch of flowers Nick had given her, and then hugged him again. ‘Thank you, they’re beautiful. Now, come with me.’ She dragged him away to show off to all her friends.
Lainey had told her months ago about the possibility of meeting up with Nick when she played at the wedding and repeated her old request to keep quiet about their former relationship. Sarah had done so out of respect, not understanding why she wanted it that way and Lainey wasn’t going to explain. Sarah had been only nine when everything fell apart, oblivious to the drama that had unfolded.
Nick helped clean up after the barbecue, making a good impression on Kate’s boyfriend, Brian, who was also Lara’s brother, and Adam. Lainey was surprised when she heard Adam organise a game of tennis with Nick and sent up a prayer of thanks. Adam was the perfect guy for Nick to get to know. He was sporty, funny and a strong Christ-follower.
When he left, Nick thanked her for a great night, kissed her on the cheek and told her he was coming to the beach with them in the morning. Lainey was pleased but uneasy. Her life had gone from famine to feast as far as Nick was concerned. It was exciting, but unsettling.
That night, she and Lara spent a lot of time talking. It was obvious Nick wanted to renew their friendship, and, as Lara pointed out, not just a platonic one. Was she happy about it? And what about the difference in their spiritual lives? The Bible clearly said not to be ‘unequally yoked’.
Lainey was happy, although apprehensive about the publicity and what people thought. But there was something else.
She was
terrified
of telling Nick about Liam; their baby she’d given up for adoption.
It was hot, unbearably so, if there wasn’t an ocean or a pool nearby to fall into. Today, Lainey had Bondi. Along with about five thousand others.
And Nick. Sarah had insisted they pick him up. She wanted to see where he lived and had been disappointed when he’d been waiting at the top of his driveway.
Lainey tried in vain not to think about the magnificent body only about ten centimetres from hers. Tanned and muscular, Nick had been noticed by every woman within a fifty metre radius. No one had recognised him, she didn’t think. With sunglasses and a cap like everyone else he was fairly anonymous. If anyone wanted to find him amongst this lot it would be like playing ‘Where’s Wally?’
When Nick had asked her to put sunscreen on his back, she was embarrassed. If it had been Adam or Brian she would’ve done it without thinking. With Nick it was different. The feel of him under her fingers was disturbing. And even more so when he returned the favour. Despite the heat, she shivered.
Lord, what’s going on here? Is this okay? Is it alright to feel like this?
At least Nick’s back wasn’t hairy, not like some of the fine specimens within spitting distance. They had more hair on their bodies than on their heads.
‘What are you laughing about under there, miss?’ Nick lifted her hat away from her face.
‘Nothing. Go away, it’s too bright.’ She swatted at his hand.
He replaced the hat. ‘I’ve got a question for you.’
‘What?’
‘Why don’t you wear a bikini anymore?’
Oh dear. This was not the time or the place to enlighten him about pregnancy stretch marks. ‘Because I like wearing a swimsuit.’
Nick sighed. ‘Lainey, have you developed body image issues or something in the last ten years? You always used to wear a bikini, and very nicely too. You still could.’ There was undisguised admiration in his voice.
She was glad of the hat hiding her blush. And she’d had time to think. ‘You’re being very nosy but I’ll tell you.’
‘Good. Out with it then.’
‘A few years ago I went through a stupid phase and I got a tattoo.’
‘What?’
‘Well, you know how people do silly things when they’re teenagers.’
‘I can’t believe you have a tattoo. Where is it?’
‘Right across my stomach. It says ‘Roger was right’. Then I tried to have it removed and I have the most dreadful scarring—’
‘You rat. That’s it. You’re gone.’ Nick yanked her to her feet.
She was laughing so hard she had no resistance whatsoever. He scooped her up and ran, dodging sunbathers and endangering the lives of small children playing at the water’s edge, before depositing her in the surf.
Lainey spluttered and choked as she wiped the hair out of her eyes. Smiling, she got to her feet, and let him drag her with him into an oncoming wave.
As they surfaced, Nick grinned and put an arm around her shoulders. ‘I’ve missed this,’ he said – and put her in a headlock.
She tried to fight him off by pulling the hairs on his legs, laughing when he yelped. She was sixteen again.
‘Miss Sullivan! Hey! Miss Sullivan!’
Nick released her and she spun around to find two of the boys in her class waving at her from a few metres away.
‘Hey, Mitch, Ben. How’re you doing?’
‘Good!’ They were looking from her to Nick with great interest but she didn’t think they knew who he was. Seeing their teacher in her swimmers, let alone with a man, was enough to put them into shock.
‘Have fun, boys. See you Monday.’ She gave a little wave and they took off back into the surf.
‘If I was in your class, I’d definitely have a crush on you.’
‘See? That’s why I don’t wear a bikini. You’d never look at your teacher the same way again.’
‘You’re telling me. Come on. I’ll buy you an ice cream.’
They picked their way over the hot sand up to the shops, and ate their ice creams standing in the shade of the pavilion. It was a beautiful summer’s day. The beach was covered with people and their brightly coloured paraphernalia.
Lainey told Nick about her ‘Where’s Wally?’ theory and he laughed. ‘That’s what I figured. They’d have to be clever to find me today.’ No sooner had he spoken than he groaned. ‘Great. We jinxed ourselves. I’ll meet you back at our spot. Keep your head down and go.’
She did as she was told, tugging her hat lower, glad she’d grabbed her sarong before leaving the beach. The last thing she wanted was to have her photo appear in a magazine. It was an issue she might have to deal with later, but not yet.
‘Where’s Nick?’ Lara sat on her towel, taking a turn at minding everyone’s gear.
‘He spotted some paparazzi and sent me back.’
‘Yeah, you often see those shots in magazines, don’t you? A ‘who’s who’ at the beach.’ She wrinkled her nose. ‘This is so strange. Did you get away in time?’
‘I think so. I didn’t actually see them, Nick did. I guess he’s got a sixth sense about it by now. He’ll be back when he can.’ It had been a sharp dose of reality.
It wasn’t too long until he dropped back down beside her. ‘Sorry about that. Are you okay?’
‘I’m fine, but do you mind if we get going? I’ve got schoolwork to do. Sarah can get a ride with you, can’t she, Lara?’
‘Sure. We’re coming soon anyhow.’
‘You go first, Lainey. I’ll meet you at the car, just in case.’
She nodded, glad he was being careful.
Lainey waited only a few minutes before Nick slid into the passenger seat. He wore his cap backwards, making him look very young except for the three-day growth, and she couldn’t help but smile
.
‘All good?’
‘All good.’ He waited until she’d got out of the beach traffic before he spoke again. ‘I want to explain something.’
‘Go ahead.’
‘When I sent you away, I hope I didn’t give you the wrong impression. It’s just that I’m used to being photographed and you’re not, and I’m not sure if you’re ready for it. That’s if you ever
want
to be ready for it, if you know what I mean.’
‘I know what you mean and I appreciate it.’ She decided to make light of it. ‘So today wouldn’t have been a good day for a walk along the beach holding your hand?’
‘Not if you didn’t want to be the mystery girl in the tabloids.’
‘So Bondi is free from rules? The hand-holding ones, I mean?’
‘Definitely. But they apply when we’re at the movies tonight.’
‘What movies?’
‘Lara’s organised for the four of us to go to the movies.’
Lainey frowned. ‘What do you mean she’s ‘organised’ it? Did you want to go or did you feel you had to because she’s
organised
it?’
‘Lainey, what’s wrong?’ Nick looked puzzled. ‘I’m an adult and make my own choices. Of course I wanted to go.’
‘I would like to be asked, that’s all, not herded into it.’
He looked at her sideways. ‘What are you saying?’
‘Oh, I don’t know, just forget it.’ She knew she sounded cross and felt bad. ‘Actually, no. I’ll tell you. Sarah organised you to come today and Lara’s organised tonight – if you want to see me it would be nice if you did the organising yourself.’ She was heartily sick of the word.
‘I’d almost forgotten how prickly you can be.’
When she glanced at Nick, he was leaning against the car door, studying her with an amused expression, not the least bit annoyed. He was so
nice
.
Lainey sighed. ‘I’m sorry. You’ve rocked my world, Nick. I have no idea where this is all going and I’m a bit freaked out.’
‘You’ve sent me into a spin too but can we at least try to enjoy the ride?’
‘It’s not exactly a chore.’ Lainey pulled up at the top of his driveway and looked at him. ‘You’re alright for a celebrity, you know. Not a tantrum in sight.’
He leaned over and kissed her cheek. ‘I’ll see you soon. And don’t be too sure about the tantrum.’
Lainey smiled as she drove away, touching her face where he’d kissed her. Despite her confusion she was looking forward to tonight. All she wanted was for Nick to ask her himself, not go along with everyone else’s plans. Silly, maybe, but it was how she felt.
After a shower, Lainey propped herself up on her bed and tried to do some work. It was hopeless. Worn out by the sun and distracted by thoughts of Nick, she fell asleep and dreamed of being chased by paparazzi. They were covered in tattoos of Roger’s disapproving face, all wanting to take photographs of her ice cream. Except, when she looked again, it wasn’t an ice cream she was holding, it was a baby.
* * *
After the movie, when she was saying goodnight to him, Nick gave her a wary look.
‘I didn’t want to tell you until now, but I’m coming with you tomorrow to your parents’ place. Actually, you’re coming with me. I’m driving.’
‘I see.’ Lainey’s lips twitched. ‘I presume Sarah organised this little outing too?’ That stupid word again.
‘She did. And you know what? I want to come. I’d like to see your mother and I’m quite curious as to what Roger might have to say about us meeting up again. I’m sure he’ll let me know what he thinks.’
‘No doubt. And did you think that it would be a good idea for me to give them a bit of warning?’
‘Apparently, Sarah already has.’
‘Oh, is that right?’ Lainey folded her arms across her chest. ‘And neither of you decided to tell me. Thanks a lot.’
‘This is exactly why I didn’t tell you earlier.’ Nick raked his hand through his hair. ‘Sarah was keen for me to catch up with your Mum and Roger; it’s as simple as that. She doesn’t remember the problems we had with them and I thought it would be an ideal opportunity for me to see them, break the ice so to speak, because I intend seeing them again now that you and I are … doing whatever it is we’re doing. Getting to know one another again.’
Lainey thought she detected a slight note of sarcasm but ignored it. ‘What time are you picking us up?’
‘Around eleven.’
‘Fine then. I’ll see you in the morning.’ Lainey turned and walked up the path. ‘Thanks for the movie. I had a nice time.’ She flung the words over her shoulder, stalked past Adam kissing Lara goodnight in the entry and pushed open the door to find Kate cuddling up to Brian in the lounge room.
For crying out loud. Was everyone in the whole world paired up?
She marched into the bathroom and began taking off her make-up. That was when she stopped, took a breath and owned up to what was making her upset.
She hadn’t rung her mother and told her about Nick.
It had been a week and now that someone had done it for her, she felt guilty and annoyed for putting it off. Nick had told her how Hannah had been thrilled about them meeting up; she should’ve rung her mum too.
She made the call as soon as she awoke.
Rose answered on the second ring. ‘Hello, honey. I thought it would be you.’
How did she do that? Did all mothers have instincts when it came to their daughters and guilt trips?
‘Mum, I should’ve rung you before and let you know about Nick. I’m sorry Sarah was the one to tell you everything. It should’ve been me.’
‘It would’ve been better, Lainey, but I understand. You must’ve had quite a shock.’
Why hadn’t she rung her mother straight away? She always made her feel better. ‘Mum, I don’t know what to do. The whole thing scares me.’
Rose was silent for a moment. ‘Have you told Nick about the baby?’
‘No, I haven’t. I don’t know how.’
‘Pray, Lainey. God will show you when it’s the right time.’
‘I have been. A lot. Mum?’
‘Yes?’
‘I think Nick still likes me.’ Saying the words out loud made it more real and the familiar zinging sensation shot through her stomach.
‘How do you feel about him?’
‘He’s wonderful, Mum.’ It was impossible to hide her happiness. ‘He’s amazing.’
There was a pause, then, ‘Be very careful, honey. Sarah told me about the letters, but even so, Nick’s not the same guy you grew up with. You’ve seen enough to know that.’
‘Yeah, but we’ve talked and talked, Mum, and he’s nothing like the playboy the media make him out to be. And when we discovered why I never got all his letters, it was … wow… it was an incredible moment. Plus, he told me he still believes in God and I know he needs to do more than just that, but … well, that’s why I’m trying so hard to be careful.’ Lainey swapped the phone to her other hand and flexed her fingers.
‘You know what the Bible says about those kinds of relationships, Lainey.’
‘Yes, but it’s not that simple.’
‘It never is, but God’s word is there to guide us, regardless of how we feel.’
‘I know.’ Lainey sighed. ‘What did Roger say?’
‘He’s concerned, like me.’ Her mother’s serious tone lightened. ‘It will be good to see Nick today, Lainey. He was such a dear little boy, and he has a special place in my heart even after everything else.’
‘Yes, well, your dear little boy is now six feet five and will probably have trouble fitting his knees under the dining table.’
Rose laughed. ‘I’ll see you when you get here. And Lainey, try not to worry. Trust in the Lord and the rest will fall into place.’
‘Thanks, Mum. I’ll try. See you soon.’
Lainey felt better. Now she could enjoy church and she would apologise to Nick.
She hadn’t been home long when a black four-wheel drive with tinted windows pulled up. Lainey watched from her bedroom window as Nick headed up the path. She hoped she hadn’t blown it, almost losing her temper last night. Her emotions were all over the place.
‘Good morning. Nice to see you.’
Nice face, nice hair, nice smile.
Did you know we have a son?
‘Nice to see you, too.’ Nick’s eyes were much warmer than she deserved. ‘Are you okay with today?’
Lainey nodded. ‘Mum’s looking forward to seeing you very much. I’m sorry about last night. I was rude.’
‘That’s okay. What you said was fair enough.’ He brushed her cheek with his finger. ‘Can I take you to dinner tonight when we get back? Just you and me.’
‘I’d really like that.’ For a heart-stopping moment Lainey thought Nick was going to kiss her as he leaned in, but he was only reaching for the door.
Flustered, she climbed the stairs to Sarah’s flat and realised she hadn’t thought twice about missing the evening service. Dinner with Nick had wiped out her routine in one fell swoop. Should that worry her?