A Simple Song (20 page)

“Look,” Lisa said more gently. “I've heard you sing, Katrina. You are really good. Ronny thinks you have a chance to win
American Star
. Isn't that what you want?”

“I want to win enough money to help my father get the surgery he needs,” she said quietly.

“Then you're going to have to trust us.”

It took most of the hour before it was finally decided—after Katrina flatly refused to take a razor to her legs and underarms—that she would wear a dark blue full-length evening gown. This dress, like the short one, sparkled with sequins. But unlike the short one, it had long sleeves. The only flaw Katrina saw in this dress was that it was cut low in the back, but she figured her long hair would conceal it.

On performance night Katrina was disappointed that her stylist had insisted she wear her hair up, but as they waited in the wings for their turn to perform, Tyler assured her that she looked great and that no one would even notice the low back on her dress. “Compared to what the other girls are wearing tonight,” he whispered, “you look like a real lady.” He smiled at her. “A beautiful lady.”

She watched as Lulu and Terrance finished their song, then waited to hear the judges' comments, which seemed a little harsh. Not only did they find fault with Lulu's singing, saying she was “pitchy,” but they picked on her dress as well. Katrina blinked to realize that Lulu was wearing the short dress that Ronny had first wanted Katrina to wear.

“That dress is way too short,” Celeste was telling her, “and way too sophisticated and mature for a seventeen-year-old girl.”

Katrina and Tyler exchanged looks. That could've been her being criticized for her dress. But there was no time to think about that now because the stage manager was motioning for her and Tyler to take their places. Feeling unsteady in the high-heeled shoes, Katrina was grateful to hold Tyler's hand as they slipped out onto the darkened stage and waited for Bruce to announce them. As usual, to steady her nerves, Katrina remembered Daed and why she was doing this.

Bruce finished their introduction with “I give you Tyler Jones and Katrina Yoder singing ‘When I Fall in Love.'” The spotlight came on and the music began, and it was Tyler's turn to sing, then Katrina's. She did it just like they'd practiced it—after their coach had given them some directions—looking intently into Tyler's eyes and singing the words as if they were meant just for him. But as she sang the song, she imagined she was singing it to Cooper, not Tyler. When they finished, the audience clapped and cheered, and for the first time that night, all the judges gave a standing ovation.

When the room quieted down, Ricky began to speak. “Well, you can see that we liked it. No, I take that back. We loved it. Not only did you kids pick the perfect song for your voices—which I have to say sound beautiful together—you look just great too.”

“I agree one thousand percent,” Celeste told them. “When the spotlight came on you two, I thought, ‘Now, those guys really look like stars.' That dress is so classy, Katrina, and with your hair up and those gorgeous earrings, well, you remind me of Princess Kate. And Tyler, you look fantastic in that jacket. So stylish. Bravo!”

“I can tell you're both taking this competition seriously,” Jack said. “Good for you. And I concur with the other judges.
You both look great, but more importantly, you both sounded great. I give you two thumbs up.”

Katrina was relieved to go sit and watch the rest of the contestants, listening to the judges' comments and waiting anxiously for Breezy and Cowboy, who were the final performers tonight. Katrina had barely seen Breezy today, but the last thing she'd said to Breezy was that she'd be praying for her. “I'm praying that you'll sing with your whole heart,” Katrina told her backstage. “That you'll sing it like you really mean it.”

Katrina's prayer was answered as Breezy and Cowboy performed. For the first time, it seemed like Breezy was really singing from her heart. By the time they ended the song, if Katrina didn't know better, she would've believed that Breezy was actually in love with Cowboy.

Once again, the audience clapped and cheered heartily. However, the judges didn't stand up. Katrina hoped that wasn't a bad sign.

“All right,” Ricky said finally. “That was pretty good. I was surprised, Breezy. I honestly didn't think you had it in you. Mind if I ask what's changed? Or are you really in love with Cowboy there? Because you sure had me believing.”

Breezy laughed. “Oh, I like Cowboy just fine. But no, I'm not in love.” She smiled sweetly at the judges. “What happened is that my roommate gave me some good advice . . . and I took it.”

“Katrina told you her secrets?” Celeste asked.

“She told me to sing with my heart,” Breezy told them, “and that's what I did.”

“Well, you did it beautifully,” Celeste told her. But she shook her finger at Cowboy. “You, however, were a bit
disappointing tonight. That's a shame because I know you can do better.”

“I have to agree with Celeste on that,” Jack said. “It almost seemed like when Breezy found her heart, you lost yours, Cowboy. Any explanation for that?”

Cowboy shrugged. “I don't know. Just an off night I guess.”

“Well, we'll have to wait and see what our voters think about it,” Bruce said. He invited all twenty contestants back to the stage and talked about the importance of voting again. “Remember, if it hadn't been for Breezy's committed fans voting for her—I think most of Texas called in the other night—she wouldn't even be here tonight. And I'll bet all her fans are glad that she is, especially after that stellar performance tonight.”

When the house lights came on, Katrina was about to go find Aunt Alma when Tyler stopped her. “Can I talk to you real quick?” he asked with a furrowed brow.

“Ja.”
She nodded, concerned that something was troubling him.

“Come with me.” He led her back up the side steps and into the shadowy sidelines of the stage area, safely away from where fans were starting to press toward the contestants, asking for autographs.

“Is something wrong?” she asked.

“No. Something is right.” Even in the dim light, she could see the longing in his eyes. “Katrina, when we sang that song tonight, I felt like I was really singing it to you . . . and like you were really singing it back to me.”

She made an uncomfortable smile. “We were supposed to sing it to each other like that . . . like we truly meant it.”

“I know. But I actually did mean it. I really do mean it.
Katrina, I have fallen in love with you. Completely. It happened the moment I met you.”

“Oh . . .” She looked away, wondering what to say.

“Please, tell me, do you feel that way too?” He chuckled. “I know, it sounds like I'm just repeating the lyrics to you again. But I mean this from my heart. I love you, Katrina. Do you love me?”

“I love you as my good friend,” she told him.

“But as a boyfriend?”

“Tyler . . .” She took a deep breath. “Even if I did love you, it would be impossible. You know I am Amish. And even though I've left my community to do this show, I want to go back someday . . . if they will accept me . . . and that's something that I won't know until I return.”

“I would become Amish,” he said eagerly. “For you, I would.”

“Really?” She studied him. “Do you have any idea what you are saying?”

“I'll admit I don't know that much about it. But like I told you before, I like old-fashioned things. And I love you. I would gladly become Amish to keep you.”

“Katrina!” called a voice that sounded like Breezy. “You back here?”

“Over here,” Katrina called back.

“Oh, there you both are. You guys were great tonight.” Breezy smiled at them.

“So were you,” Katrina told her. “Your best performance ever.”

“I know.” Breezy hugged her. “Thanks to you. Anyway, Alma is looking for you. She was worried that someone might've stolen you away.”

“Someone was trying,” Tyler said lightly, but Katrina could tell by the look in his eyes that he was hurt—and she knew that it was because of her. As they walked back to where the auditorium was slowly emptying, she wished there was something she could say to make Tyler feel better, but she had no idea what it would be.

As she sat on the shuttle bus next to her snoozing aunt, she felt the weight of guilt pressing down on her. This competition—this game she was playing where the stakes kept getting higher—could really hurt someone. It would be so wrong if someone as kind and sweet as Tyler got his heart broken due to her. All because she'd sung that love song like that. She knew she was to blame for looking into his eyes like that, singing to him as if she loved him. Tyler had gotten caught up in her folly and taken her words to heart. Now he was sitting by himself in the back of the bus, hurting. And why had she sung like that?
Vainglory.
Whether she meant to or not, she had wounded her good friend Tyler. All in a shallow attempt to win the approval of judges and voters . . . to win a foolish contest. She was so ashamed of herself.

The next morning Katrina went down to the lobby and called Bekka. “I'm going to quit the competition,” she told her even before she said hello.

“Why?” Bekka demanded. “You're doing great. You and Tyler were amazing last night. And you looked so beautiful. You can't quit. Everyone on the internet is talking about you. You're like the biggest buzz—that means they like you and—”

“But it's all wrong and—”

“Wait, wait! There's something really important I need to tell you, Katrina. I was going to call you yesterday . . . but I didn't want to distract you from your performance.”

Katrina could tell by Bekka's tone that something was wrong. “What is it?”

“It's your father.”

“What? Is he all right?”

“He's in the hospital.”

“Oh, no. I have to come home now. I have to—”

“No, Katrina, don't come home yet. You can win that money. I know you can. And if you do, your father can have surgery and—”

“But why is he in the hospital?” Katrina asked. She knew her family couldn't afford the expenses of a hospital. Daed would only be in the hospital if it was very serious—life or death serious.

“He had a heart attack yesterday. My mother said she heard it was because he stopped taking some medicine for his back and was in horrible pain, but I'm not really sure if that's it. Anyway, your uncle found him in bad shape yesterday, and he got him to the hospital in time.”

“I have to come home,” Katrina told her. “I need to see him.”

“Katrina.” Bekka's voice was firm. “God has given you this opportunity—you could win enough money to help your father get well. I know you could. But if you come home, what will you do? Just sit by his side and hold his hand and watch him slowly die?”

Katrina bit her lip.

“Greater love has no man than this,” Bekka said somberly, “than to lay down his life for a friend.”

Katrina felt a lump in her throat as she imagined Daed in a hospital. He would hate being there . . . feeling so helpless . . . so hopeless. He might even want to die.

“Jesus said those words,” Bekka told her. “And you are doing that by competing on
American Star
. I know you, Katrina. You don't enjoy being in the spotlight. You're laying down your life for your daed.”

Katrina looked around the hotel lobby. Everything in there seemed to glitter or sparkle or shimmer. Glass windows and fancy water fountains, glossy floors and shiny furnishings. It was like a modern-day palace—and she hated it.

“I've decided to get baptized,” Bekka said quietly.

“Really?”

“
Ja
. I will tell you more about it when you come home. But something inside of my heart has changed. I know I'm ready for this commitment.”

“I'm so happy for you.” Tears were coming down her cheeks now.

“I know you have to decide what's best for you,” Bekka said. “And I promise I'll keep praying for you. But I hope you stay long enough to win some of that money . . . for your daed.”

Katrina sniffed. “Well, it might not be up to me, Bekka. I could be eliminated tonight.”

“Don't count on it.”

“Will you do something for me?”

“
Ja
. Of course. Anything.”

“Go tell my mother that I am praying for Daed. Tell her that I will do whatever I can to win this money to help him. I don't want her to be worried about the cost of the hospital, Bekka.” Katrina knew that Mamm would mostly be worried about losing Daed, but if Katrina could do anything to lighten her family's load, she would do it.

“
Ja
, I know she is worried. I will tell her. And you should know that Cal and Sadie have been sneaking over to the office here, Katrina, to watch you perform on
American Star
. They are so happy for you.”

“Really?” Katrina's heart warmed to imagine her brother and sister crowding into Bekka's little office and seeing her on the computer screen. “Tell them I love them.”

Katrina, Tyler, and Breezy all made it through the next cuts, but Cowboy and three other contestants were sent home.
Now instead of the final twenty, it was the final sixteen. For the next competition, everyone was supposed to sing a solo. Katrina was actually relieved at this news because it meant that she would have some control over what she sang as well as what she wore. As committed as she was to trying to win some money for Daed, she was determined not to compromise herself again. No more singing a love song to a boy as if she meant to marry him. No more baring of skin.

“The challenge for this solo is for each of you to sing a song that tells us about who you are and what you believe,” Bruce Betner told the sixteen contestants. “We'll be rolling video as you perform, from those shoots we took in your hometowns. Keep that in mind for your song choice.”

Thankful for some time alone, Katrina found a quiet spot outside of the hotel where she just sat in the sunshine, thinking and praying. Mostly she was praying for Daed. But she was also thinking about what she wanted to sing. Finally, she called Bekka, and after finding out that Daed was still in the hospital where they were running all kinds of tests, she asked for advice. “What should I sing?” She explained Bruce's directions for the next competition.

“The tin soldier song,” Bekka exclaimed. “Everyone loves it when you sing that song. And it always feels like our Amish history. Sing that for them.”

“All right.” Katrina sighed. “That's what I'll do. Thank you.”

Katrina didn't schedule an appointment with the stylist this time. She knew that people might think she was making a big mistake, but she had decided to take Bruce's challenge to heart. She would sing in a way that told everyone about who she was and what she believed. If it meant she was going
home, well, maybe it was what God intended. Because now, more than ever, she was praying about everything. She was asking God to lead her each step of the way.

When it was her turn to rehearse with the musicians on the stage, she explained how she wanted the song done. “Plain and simple,” she told them. “Like me.” After some discussion and trying several combinations, they all decided that the penny whistle, snare drum, guitar, and trumpet were the only instruments they would use. Katrina told the stage manager that she planned to stand in one place. “No moving about the stage,” she said firmly. “And I want the lighting to be simple.”

He nodded. “This is your show, Katrina. I just hope you know what you're doing. That's a big stage . . . and you're just one little girl. You might regret this.”

“Thank you for your advice.” She smiled. “But this is how I want to do it.”

When the time to perform came and she was waiting backstage, she hoped she hadn't made a mistake. She had finally moved back to a quiet corner because she was so tired of being asked when she was going to change into her costume for her performance. She was wearing her good green dress with her full Sunday apron over it as well as a Sunday
kapp
. The director had questioned this, worried that her white apron would do something bad to the cameras, which seemed silly. What could an apron do to a camera? But after doing a test, he'd told her it was fine. “That translucent white fabric over the green doesn't actually translate as white,” he explained. “It looks more like a pale green, and it's rather interesting.” He smiled. “Good luck.”

Remaining in the backstage shadows, she was unable to see her fellow contestants, but she could hear them. Breezy
had a good solid performance, singing a song about Texas with real gusto and heart. Tyler sang an odd song about a car, but the audience seemed to really like it. And there were lots of other completely different songs—or “totally random,” as Breezy would say.

Katrina knew that her performance was last—and that could be either good or bad, depending on the judges, because sometimes they were out of patience by then and sometimes they were in good spirits. But it did give her more time to pray . . . as well as more time to be nervous.

Finally she heard Bruce announcing her name, and she knew it was time to take her place on the stage. It felt so good not to be worried about tripping in high heels or uncomfortable over an overly exposed back, neck, or arms. She took her place in front of the freestanding microphone, waiting for the rat-a-tat-tat of the snare drum and for the lights to slowly come on. Then she began: “Listen, children, to a story . . .” She continued on with all of her ability and all of her heart to the most meaningful line of the song: “‘Peace on earth' was all it said.” When she finished the song, there was a brief moment of silence, and then the entire auditorium erupted. When the lights came up on the judges, she could see they were all standing too. She took in a deep breath. Perhaps this hadn't been a mistake after all.

“Well, well, well,” Ricky said after it quieted down. “Our little Amish girl has pulled off another surprisingly good performance. Nicely done, Katrina.”

“Very nicely done,” Celeste added. “Although I have to admit you had me worried when you showed up on the stage wearing your little white apron. I thought, okay, it's over now. Katrina is going home. But after I saw the whole thing—the
music arrangement, the scenes of your lovely Amish landscape and children and cows playing on the screen—I got it. Beautifully done, Katrina. You can be proud.”

Katrina swallowed hard. Pride was the same as vainglory . . . not an honorable attribute.

“I agree with the other judges,” Jack said slowly. “You outdid yourself tonight, Katrina. Your grandmother would be proud too.”

There was that word again. She simply nodded, quietly thanking them. But as she was leaving the stage, a couple of cameramen and Brandy stopped her. “Come on over here,” Brandy said. “We want to do a quick interview.”

Katrina blinked as the bright camera lights came on. “All right.”

“Tonight was fun,” Brandy said. “We know that you were supposed to sing something that represented you and your values and beliefs. Can you tell the viewers why you chose that particular song? Rather than, say, a hymn or religious song?”

“My friend back home suggested it,” Katrina said simply. “It's a song that reflects Amish values because we don't believe in war. It also shows a separateness of two very different sorts of people. Like how Amish separate themselves from the English.”

“Well, except for you. How do you explain that?”

Katrina sighed. “It is hard to explain. Even to myself. What I am doing in this competition goes against everything that is Amish. In the beginning I told myself that it was my way of having
rumspringa
, but now I'm not so sure. I even wanted to quit the competition when I felt that I was compromising myself and my beliefs. In some ways this has been a very
enlightening spiritual journey. Except that I am still trying to find my way. Who knows? Maybe I will go home tomorrow.”

“We know you wanted to win money to help with your father's surgery,” Brandy said quickly. “How is he doing?”

Katrina explained that Daed was in the hospital. “I am praying for him always. And if any of the viewers pray, I ask for their prayers too. I know that God will do what is best, but I love Daed . . . I don't want to lose him too soon.”

“No, I'm sure you don't.” Brandy looked at the camera. “So for any of you viewers who are still on the fence about voting, why not cast a vote for this young lady? I know I don't want to see her going home yet.” Brandy thanked Katrina for the interview, and the cameras moved on.

No one seemed too surprised that Katrina made it to the next level. “But I don't know how you're going to follow that up,” Breezy said as they went to the meeting room where Bruce Betner was going to give them their next assignment. As they sat down, Katrina spotted Tyler sitting by the windows. Other than a polite greeting here and there, they hadn't really spoken since the night of their love song duet.

Bruce came in and went to the front of the room with a camera crew trailing him as usual. First he congratulated them for making it, reminding them that they were getting close to the top eight. “Now that there are only twelve of you, we want to break you into four groups of three to form trios. Tomorrow's challenge is to sing a song from a famous trio of the past. Maybe it's the Jonas Brothers, or it could be the Bee Gees. It might be Nirvana or Motorhead or even Peter, Paul and Mary.” He chuckled. “But I would discourage any of you from doing something from Alvin and the
Chipmunks.” He gave them some more instructions, then wished them good luck, and suddenly everyone was moving about, trying to form trios.

Katrina was slightly surprised when Tyler came over, asking if she and Breezy wanted to be in a trio with him. “Sure,” she told him, relieved that he seemed perfectly fine, as if nothing was wrong and he hadn't proclaimed his love for her . . . and she hadn't rejected it. Was it possible she had imagined the whole thing?

“I have an idea,” Breezy said as the three of them clustered together out in the hall. “Let's do a song from Katrina's grandmother's group, Willow Tree.”

“Really?” Katrina was surprised. “You would want to do that?”

“Sure.” Breezy nodded. “You got a great response when you did that other song from them. The judges appreciate that your family has a history of music. And I think the voters like it too.”

“It's a good idea,” Tyler told Breezy.

“Great.” Breezy looked at Katrina. “Which song do you think we should sing?”

“After the Storm,” Katrina declared without even thinking. She explained how she'd sung it for her audition and how the judges really seemed to like it.

“How does it go?” Tyler asked.

Katrina sang it for them and they both agreed it was a great song. Tyler got the lyrics pulled up on his iPad, and Breezy downloaded the music onto her iPod. By later that afternoon, they had worked out their parts, and it was sounding really good. It was different than how Willow Tree sang it originally, but Katrina liked it.