Authors: Billie Green
"I can't do it," she whispered in desperation. "I just can't do it."
Then she remembered Danny. He had more to lose than she had. He had the rest of his life to lose. Danny didn't deserve a coward.
Confront the dragon, she told herself once again. Easing the gearshift into drive, she began again. Almost at once, the gate was before her. She slowed, then came to a stop before it. She had never seen the man who stepped out of the brick-and-glass cage beside the gate. He wasn't the same guard who had admitted her that first day.
"Hello," she said as he reached the car. "I'm Amanda Timbers. Mrs. Oates said she would call to let you know I was leaving tonight."
The glare of a flashlight hit her race, and involuntarily she flinched.
"Can I see your driver's license, miss?"
After fumbling in her purse, Amanda handed him the license and had to endure the glare of the flashlight once more.
"Okay, Miss Timbers. You need to back the car up a few feet. The gates will swing this way." He turned to walk away.. .then stopped when a soft thud came from the trunk of the car.
Turning back, he glanced over the full length of the convertible. "Did you hear something?" he asked.
Her first instinct was to lie, but she squelched it. Nodding her head, she said, "I'm afraid I just threw everything in the trunk—I'm in a hurry—then about two miles back I almost hit a rabbit and slammed pretty hard on the brakes." Was she telling him too much? Did it sound natural? She shrugged. "I guess my things are shifting."
"Would you like me to check to see if anything is broken?" he asked.
"No...no, thank you. As I said, I'm in a hurry. My aunt, is critically ill." She smiled. "There's nothing back there that could come to harm." Only my life, she added silently.
He nodded and seconds later the gates swung open. As she turned onto the macadam road, she heard the heavy gates clang shut behind her. Her hands were locked in a death grip on the steering wheel. She drove silently, desperately, always watching the odometer. After exactly five miles, she pulled over to the side of the road and parked.
Running to the trunk, she fumbled to open it, barely aware of the tears on her face. Danny stepped out and pulled her into his arms.
"It's all right, Mandy," he crooned softly. "Don't cry. I'll take care of you now."
Leaning away from him, she drew in a deep breath. They were free.
Chapter Nine
Hours and hours of 1-15 passed by. Then, rising before them like the Emerald City, was Las Vegas. Its neon lights dazzled the eye and confused the mind. To Amanda, it was a little like being abruptly thrown from darkness into a psychedelic dream.
She had long gone past the point of exhaustion to a blessed numbness. With some rational part of her mind, she knew she needed to stop and rest, but she also knew she wouldn't feel easy until she and Danny were married. The legal tie between them was her safety net.
Pulling into a crowded parking lot, she switched off the motor and turned to the man beside her. "Well, Danny," she said, smiling lightly. "This is Las Vegas. What do you think of it?"
He looked around at the signs that flashed champagne glasses and dancing women and eight-foot bowling pins. Then he turned to watch a group of laughing, weaving people walking along the sidewalk.
"It feels loud," he said finally. "I like it. It's... it's alive."
She laughed. "It's that all right." She rested her chin on the steering wheel. "Danny, I didn't tell you part of my plan. I was waiting until now because... well, I guess because I'm a coward." Turning her head sideways, she met his questioning gaze. "You know that legally I had no right to help you leave Greenleigh."
After a moment, he said, "Dr. Sutherland is the boss and he wouldn't have let me leave."
"That's right. Only someone related to you could tell Dr. Sutherland to let you go." She swallowed heavily, finding the explanation even more difficult than she had anticipated. "You and I, we're not family—but there is a way that we could be."
He stared at her silently for a long time. She watched his changing expression and followed his thoughts almost as though he spoke aloud. He rejected several possibilities with a slight shake of his head, then, his voice unsure, he said, "Is a wife family?"
Nodding her head shortly, she said in relief, "Yes.. .yes, a wife is family." She reached out to touch his hand. "You know, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Tha's the first rule of our new life. You get a choice from now on. But if we were married, no one could put you back in Greenleigh unless I said they could."
"And you wouldn't do that."
There was no uncertainty in his voice now. The totality of his trust made her feel inadequate.
"I want to marry you, Mandy. Then we can always be together."
Always, she thought, biting her lip to keep it from trembling. For Danny, always would be too short a time.
"Okay," she said, inhaling deeply. "Then let's do it."
In the land of takeout weddings, it didn't take long to find what she was looking for. Standing on the sidewalk, Amanda winced when she stared at the bright, white-neon letters across the street. They shouted WEDDING CHAPEL to already satiated senses.
Wedding in Neon, she thought. It sounded like an off-Broadway play.
"It's beautiful," Danny said in awe as he gazed up at the huge letters and the trailing blue-neon ribbons. "It's like the whole town is glad to see us."
Amanda stared at him mutely. How did he always manage to find the good? She saw gaudy worldliness; he saw warm welcome. In that moment, she made a silent vow to try with everything that was in her to look at the world through Danny's eyes.
Suddenly, the chapel didn't look so harsh. Even the white-satin-attired minister and the plastic flowers adorning the small chapel couldn't put her off.
Two witnesses were included in the wedding fee. The disinterested but comfortable-looking women talked in low whispers about a pottery class they were both taking. The down-to-earth reality of them added sharp contrast to the unbelievable night.
No one seemed to think it strange that Amanda's blue-linen slacks were rumpled or that her face was lined with weariness. Or that Danny glanced around the room wide-eyed as he clenched his fist around the opal ring Amanda had removed from her right hand earlier.
For a while, the words of the ceremony flowed uncomprehended through the numbness of her mind, then gradually they began to take shape.
"... to have and to hold from this day forward; to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health—"
She raised her eyes to Danny's as the last words fell into the silence.
"—till death us do part."
"Till death as do part," she whispered unsteadily. Sweet Jesus, she prayed in desperation. It wasn't fair. Death would come so soon. There would be no time for her and Danny. If the soul lingered after death, please, God, let hers linger near Danny's.
She felt a touch on her arm and glanced around. The minister and the witnesses were staring at her expectantly. The woman on her left side whispered, "You're supposed to say 'I do' now, honey."
Amanda swallowed the lump in her throat. "I do."
The words were barely a whisper, but they were enough. Now it was Danny's turn. He listened with solemn care as the same words were intoned, keeping his eyes trained on the minister's face. Then, slowly, he turned to Amanda, his gaze loving as it drifted over her face. Reaching out, he cupped her cheek with a gentle hand.
"I do, Mandy." The words were soft and husky. "I do take you."
Before the minister had finished pronouncing them man and wife, Danny lowered his head and brushed his lips across hers. Amanda placed her hand over his, closing her eyes as she pressed it tightly to her face.
She felt a terrible weight dissolve. They were married, she kept telling herself over and over as they walked out of the chapel to the offhand good wishes of the witnesses and minister. They were married. The license was in her parse. No one could force Danny to go anywhere or do anything without her consent.
"We did it, Danny," she said as they drove away. Her voice was filled with excitement and the laughter of relief. "We really did it."
Laughing with her, he laid his large hand on her thigh, not in a sensual move but in a gesture of affection and camaraderie; they were in it together, for good and for bad.
Amanda's vision was blurring when she pulled the car into the parking lot of a motel on the interstate. The sign that flashed messages to passing cars and the neon palm tree looked familiar now and even homey.
Danny stood at her side as she paid for one night's lodging, then together, they carried their bags to the small room. Amanda was too tired even to speak as they laid the bags on the twin beds. She pulled out her nightgown and walked into the white-tiled bathroom.
When she returned, Danny was already in bed, his strong, bare back turned toward her. After switching off the light, she climbed wearily into the bed, her sore body fighting the characteristic stiffness of the mattress and pillow.
She had expected to fall asleep immediately, but her mind was too full. When Danny shifted his position, it was a restless sound.
"I've been thinking," he said quietly, as though continuing a conversation.
"Me too," she whispered. "Too much has happened. I imagine it's been even more confusing for you."
"Everything is new. It's exciting." His voice trailed off in the darkness.
"But?"
He shifted again. "I don't know very much. I didn't even know there was so much to know." He paused. "You paid for the room. I don't know about money."
She heard the quiet frustration in his voice. "You'll learn," she said, her voice determined. "No one has been teaching you. That's my job now. We'll start tomorrow with money. Soon I'll teach you how to drive the car and use a pay telephone and anything else you want to know."
"I want to know everything," he said flatly.
Her laugh was soft with affection. "I'm afraid even I don't know everything. But I'll teach you what I know, then we'll find someone who can teach you the rest."
He exhaled, and the sound was loud in the dark room. "You make it sound like I can really do it."
"Of course you can do it," she said firmly, almost angrily. "We're alike, remember? Neither of us is perfect, but we have something better than perfection. We've got hard heads; we don't give up. Right?"
"Right," he said, laughing huskily.
Silence mingled with the hum of the air conditioner and after a while Amanda decided he had fallen asleep. She forced her body to relax because she knew she needed her rest. They had a long hard drive ahead of them tomorrow.
"Mandy?" His voice was a mere whisper, soft and wistful in the darkness,
"Yes?"
"It scares me to think about not knowing you. When I look at you... when I look at you my heart smiles. You make me more," he finished simply.
She closed her eyes tightly and tried to keep her voice steady. "We make each other more, Danny. Don't ever forget that. You give me as much as I give you. This is not just a beginning for you. It's also the beginning of the rest of my life."
"What will it be like?"
"It will be whatever we want to make it. You'll like the cabin. It's not very big, but there are no fences around it. There's not a thing there to keep life out."
The sound of her own voice acted as a sedative, and as she slowly talked of their new life, they both fell asleep.
Amanda stared down at the syringe for a long time. "Danny," she said, her voice shaky. "Danny, I'm scared."
"Just stick me," he said. His voice was matter-of-fact as he sat on the bed and watched her. "You did it before and it didn't hurt...honest." He grinned. "Pretend I'm a dragon, then you won't mind sticking me."
Straightening her back, she inserted the needle into the rubber top of the vial, then turned it upside down to draw the drug inside. She had put this off until last. Their bags were packed and in the car. They were ready to go.
Turning around, she walked to the bed. She had already prepared his right upper arm for the intramuscular shot. There was nothing left to do but give it. Holding her breath she plunged the needle into the muscle. Danny didn't even jerk. He simply waited patiently until she was through.
"You did fine," he said, rolling down his sleeve.
"I think I need some breakfast... or a stiff drink," she said wryly.
His laughter reassured her, and suddenly she really did feel hungry. They had breakfast at the small coffee shop attached to the motel. While they were waiting for their orders, Amanda began teaching Danny. He recognized numbers and was quick to understand what she told him, which pleased them both. It was a. good start.
Several hours later, when they stopped for gas, Amanda turned half of their cash over to Danny. After separating a ten-dollar bill from his pile, Danny stepped from the car and told the teenage attendant to put ten dollars' worth in the car.
Giving him an encouraging smile, she left him by himself and went to get cold drinks from a machine beside the station. She dawdled purposely, understanding how important this simple transaction was to him. Then, as she walked back toward the pumps, the irate voice of the attendant reached her.
"What are you—some kind of dummy? I don't know where the ten went, but I know you're gonna pay for this gas. Judas priest, man, just give me two fives or ten ones. It don't have to be a ten-dollar bill."
Amanda ran the rest of the way. When she reached the two men she stooped to pick up the ten-dollar bill from beneath the car and shoved it into the hand of the teenager.
"What do you think you're doing?" she said, her voice low and stiff with fury. "I want your name and your manager's telephone number, and I want them now. Your behavior is inexcusable. You have no right to be serving the public. If I have to—" She broke off when the felt Danny's hand on her arm.
"Mandy," he said softly. "Let's go. I want to get to the cabin."
She exhaled slowly, then nodded and turned away. She drove the car automatically, anger still holding her in its grip long after they had left the gas station behind.
"You're still mad," Danny said sadly, breaking the tense silence. "I didn't do very well."
She glanced at him quickly. "Don't say that. You did just fine. It was that idiot kid who made me mad. What kind of parents does he have? Didn't anyone ever teach him manners? He's got the sensitivity of a warthog in heat."
Danny was silent for a moment, then he said quietly, "Will he be living with us?"
She jerked her gaze toward him in confusion. "Of course not."
He smiled. "Then it doesn't matter, does it?"
She almost sagged as she felt the tension leave her body. Laughing softly, she said, "You're right. He's not important. We're together, and that's what counts."
As if by magic, the incident was behind them. They were on their way to a new life. She couldn't let anything spoil it now.
Flat Nevada highway stretched before them, and it was growing dark when they began to enter the mountainous area that would lead them to their new home.
Now that it was over, now that they were nearing the isolated mountain cabin, Amanda began to have doubts for the first time since they had left Greenleigh.
She couldn't tell whether the doubts came now because she finally had time to think or because she was so bone-achingly tired. Had she done the right thing? What right did she have to tamper with his life, his health? Who in hell did she think she was?