A Stormy Knight (33 page)

He had not tried to stop her when she talked of going to her uncle.
Yes
he
had protested, but she did not believe he cared.
In her heart s
he did not want to go. She could not, however, share his bed but not his heart.
I
t would kill her in the end. Something had to change.

"
What has you so worried, little one?
"
he said from the bed.
She
was surprised,
not expecting him to be awake just yet.

"
I am not worried,
"
she said. It was a lie, but she wanted him to get well, not worry about her.
"
I just hope your wound will not get infected.
"

"
Where is the
woman
?
"
he questioned.

"
Who?
"

"
Gavin
'
s wife. Was she not with us?
"

"
Aye, but she is not your prisoner,
"
she
said softly
,
as she got up
and moved a small stool so
she could sit next to the bed.

"
And why is that?
"
he said, his eyes half closed.

"
Because she came in the end to free me
. She heard Gavin tell Hugh
I was to be executed by sundown today.
As it stood, she
was not sure of her husband
'
s intentions, but she thought he was to let me go. When she found out otherwise, she freed me and we made our way out the north gate and down to the woods.
"

"
When was that?
"
he said, propping himself up on his elbows.

"
The storm started not long after we were safe.
"

"
Gemma, you are never to leave the castle without me again. Do
you understand?
"
he said
.
"
This has been a nightmare. I realize this was not your fault, but you threatened to leave and I thought you had.
"

She put her head down.
"
I
'
ll not be your problem any longer
,
Nicholas. You almost lost men today. You are injured. A battle was fought
,
and people died because of me. I will make good on my word. I will go to Wales
,
and you will have my lands if you so desire. I do not wish anything else to happen where harm
could come to someone I love.
"

Although she said it,
she did not mean it. Everything in her was yearni
ng for him to tell her to stay. She wanted him
to tell her
they would find a way to be at peace with one another
and
a way to stop blaming each other for something neither could control. Most of all, she yearned for his love.

"
Have you lost your mind?
"

"
Aye, I have,
"
she said, lifting her eyes to meet his.
"
I am mad about you. I love you, Nicholas. The best thing I could do would be to leave as I said to give you peace. You will never know rest with me around.
"

He started to laugh. It began as a chuckle and
morphed
into a full belly laugh.

Gemma
'
s eyes got big as she stood up and moved away from him.
"
You are laughing at me!
"

"
Nay, woman. I am not laughing at you. I am laughing
at our predicament. You say
you love me
,
but you want to leave. I love you and would do anything to keep you here, yet it appear
s you are so willful
you do not care. I feel like I may be powerless to stop you from doing anything that pops into that pretty little head on your shoulders. How is that not funny?
"

"
You what?
"
Gemma said
,
her eyes wide with disbelief.
"
Do not tease me
,
Nicholas
;
'
tis cruel.
"

"
Come here,
"
he
said and
beckoned to her with one hand.

She studied him for a moment. She went to him and sat back down on the stool.

"
You little fool,
"
he whispered. He pulled her to him. His lips lightly touched hers for a moment and then he pul
led back.
"
You do not know
I love you?
"

"
I do not know what to say,
"
she admitted.

"
Do you think I married you because Henry said so? Do you think I came to Renoir to find you because I had nothing better to do today? Do you think I would have let you dress my wound if I did not love and trust you completely?
"
he asked.

"
You no longer seek revenge?
"

"
Nay.
"

"
But you cannot love me,
"
she protested
.
"
Y
ou hated me
,
remember? You went out of your way to prove that point.
"

"
I think I have always loved you. I always knew, Gemma, there was nothing within you that would allow something like that to happen to my family. I knew.
"

"
Then why were you so angry with me
…
"
she started.

"
I did not know what else to feel. I needed someone to blame. Anger was simple enough and suited my needs. The moment I saw you again I knew I was doomed. I kept up the pretense because it suited me. It made me feel in control.
'
Twas all I knew for seven years. I see the folly of my thinking now.
"

"
Why did you not tell me? You let me think I was a hindrance to your life.
"

"
I knew the night of our wedding after you were attacked. When I thought of what Phillip meant to do to you, I nearly went mad with rage. I knew then I was done for. I could not tell you, little one, because if I had, I would have been lost in you for days on end. The castle would have been more vulnerable because I would not have left our bed. I also worried you still thought I was guilty of betraying you all those years ago. My p
ride was in my way, in our way,
and I know now never to allow that again.
"

"
Nay,
"
she said, tears streaming down her cheeks. She clenched his large hand between her two smaller ones
.
"
I knew
'
twas never you. I knew it
,
but like you, I think anger was easier to handle than to have a broken heart. It maske
d my pain because I did so love
you then
,
and I love more now. I should have known better. You would never have let me down in that way.
"

"
Then we are a pair of fools?
"

"
We are,
"
she agreed.
"
And we have wasted a lot of time being angry.
"

"
Wh
at are we to do about it then?
"

"
I think we should stop being so stubborn. If we love one
another, what else do we need?
"

"
I need you,
"
he said, pulling her up onto their bed. His strong arms held her close to him as he planted kisses all over her face.

"
And I need you,
"
she whispered in return.
"
I shall never leave you, even if you try to kick me out of your life.
"

"
Never!
"
he declared after a long lingering kiss.

She
was
content
, not caring about the past. He loved her! She snuggled cl
ose to him and promised herself
she would never again allow a misunderstanding come between them.

"
We have much to talk a
bout. We must talk about what Ga
vin said to me. I need to tell Father what happened
,
an
d I do not look forward to it.
"

"
Later, please,
"
he said, smiling at her.
"
Can we talk about something else for a while? I am quite bored with Gavin already.
"

She
nodded in agreement.
"
Do yo
u still want to have children?
"

"
Aye, lots and lots of them
.
"

"
We already have one on the way,
'
twould seem.
"

He
stiffen
ed
beside her.
"
Why did you keep it from me? You meant to leave with my child?
"

She paused, not sure if he was angry or not
.
"
I do not think I would have actually left with your babe, at least not for long. I never dreamed you would return my love
,
and it was killing me inside. I could not live with you hating me but with a heart heavy with love. It hurt and I was so angry
,
I did not care. I could not bear it! I think I may have left, but I would have returned.
"

He lifted a hand and cupped her
cheek
.
"
Aye, I would have come for you babe or no babe. You would have returned whether you liked it or not. You must never keep these things from me. I was too harsh with you. Your declaration of love was overwhelming. If I could take back anything, it would be those harsh words I spoke to you that day.
"

"
I know I should have told you, but I thought you wanted me to go away. Besides,
'
tis early. The babe is wee yet.
"

"
I forgive you, milady, but in the future, I am your husband
,
and I want to know everything going on with you.
"

"
Even if I go on and on about how I cannot stop smiling and my heart pounds when you are near? Even when I must prattle on and on about how much I love and adore my handsome husband and cannot wait to be in his arms again? Even when I feel I will burst with pride because I am so lucky to have a brave knight at my side to protect all that is dear to me?
"
she said and then lowered her voice to a whisper
.
"
E
ven when I must brag about how much I desire him?
"

"
Especially then.
"
H
e pulled her closer and kissed her again.