A Surrendered Heart (22 page)

Read A Surrendered Heart Online

Authors: Tracie Peterson

Tags: #FIC042030

“I have been both confused and concerned. I can never provide you and Elizabeth with the way of life you deserve, but it appears Wesley Hedrick can now do so.” Paul slapped his palm on the table and sent the piece of paper floating to the wood floor of the veranda.

Sophie reached to clasp his hand, but he withdrew it. There was a time when his actions would have made her angry, but this time was different. Sophie could see the doubt and fear in his eyes. She softened her voice. “Surely you know better than that, Paul. I love you dearly. You are all that I desire.”

He shifted in his chair and leaned down to pick up the clipping. Crumpling it in his hand, he stared at her. “Am I? I can’t give you expensive things. I can’t buy you new gowns and furnish our home with beautiful furniture. I’m a simple man of God. I’ll never be wealthy.”

“That isn’t important to me.” Sophie realized the depth of just how true that statement was. It was freeing to know that she loved and cherished her husband far more than the things money could buy.

“I couldn’t help but wonder if you would consider taking Elizabeth and running off to be with Wesley.”

She could see the sadness in his eyes. “I would never do such a thing, Paul. You have been a loving husband and father. I have no desire for anyone except you.”

“I want to believe you, but . . .”

Disbelief shone in his eyes. How could she convince him of her love? “I know I exhibited dreadful behavior when I first arrived at Broadmoor Island. And I won’t deny that I was quickly wooed by the new gowns and parties. I was lured back into my old habits far too easily. I admit that. But after seeing the barrier it created between the two of us, I understood that what I truly wanted was a life with you and Elizabeth.”

He unclenched his fist. The balled-up clipping rested in his palm, a silent accusation. “Then why do you have this?”

“Amanda read the article in a New York newspaper while she was recuperating from the cholera. She clipped it out and wasn’t even going to tell me about it, but I found it when I was looking at one of her books.” She wanted to hold his hand but feared he would again withdraw, so she folded her hands in her lap. “In truth, reading that piece helped me to see that money wasn’t as important as I’d previously thought. I realize that even though Wesley may have enough money to buy gowns and jewels, he would never cherish or love me as you do. I understand that money is not a key to happiness. In fact, it seems frequently to have quite the opposite effect. It is you I love, Paul, and I am most content to be your wife, even if I never have another new dress.”

“Yet you failed to mention Wesley or the newspaper article to me,” he murmured.

“Because Wesley Hedrick is of no importance to me.” She cupped his jaw in her palm. “I realize how blessed I am to have you as my husband. You are a good man, and I will always be thankful that you came to my rescue. Without you, I would have thrown myself from those rocks and taken Elizabeth with me.” Her voice cracked at the remembrance that she’d been only minutes away from destroying her own life and that of her unborn child. Only Paul’s gentle, pleading words had saved her from a crushing death upon those jagged rocks below. “Recently I’ve acted badly, and I apologize for my churlish behavior. I know that you have our best interests and protection in mind whenever you make a decision.”

With the tip of his finger, Paul raised her chin and stared into her eyes. “I’m thankful for your kind words, but I know it was my uncompromising decision to send you and Elizabeth to Broadmoor Island that caused you such unhappiness.”

Sophie lifted his hand to her lips and kissed his palm. “That’s true enough. Yet I never doubted your love. In my heart I knew you made that decision in order to protect us. Now, seeing the distress Amanda has suffered since agreeing to marry Mr. Jackson, I truly realize how fortunate I am to be married to the man I love.”

“And I to the only woman I could ever love.” He leaned down and captured her lips in a lingering kiss.

Sophie pulled away. “Let’s never allow these kind of things to come between us again. I love you, and that will never change. I do not want Wesley and his money. I want you and your love.”

Amanda paced the length of the lobby while she waited for Blake. The bellboy had delivered her message and returned to say Blake would join her in a moment and to please wait. The gossamer curtains that shaded the lobby windows fluttered in the morning breeze and made her long to run outside. She shouldn’t have come here. What if Ellert should discover she’d left the house? And what if Blake told her he’d been joking and he and Julia were husband and wife? Worse yet, what if Julia descended the staircase at his side?

There was still time to escape. She turned. “Blake,” she gasped.

Obviously perplexed, he tipped his head to the side and arched his brows. “You did ask me to meet you in the lobby, didn’t you?” He held her note between his fingers.

“Yes, of course.” She cleared her throat, hoping to quiet the tremor in her voice.

“Shall we go for a walk?”

She recalled Paul’s earlier comment about proper decorum, but the lobby was filled with guests and who could know what might be overheard. Any number of people might recognize her. She had no idea if any of their other guests had elected to remain in the islands throughout the weekend. What if one of them told Ellert he’d seen her in the hotel lobby visiting with a young man? Without further consideration, she nodded to a door leading to the east side of the veranda. Their departure wouldn’t be visible to Paul and Sophie.

“It’s good to see you. I had hoped we’d have another opportunity to visit before I left your en-en-gagement party, but Mr. Jackson seemed to be constantly keeping you by his side.”

Amanda noted that Blake had stumbled over the word
engagement
. “Mr. Jackson tends to be somewhat possessive,” she replied.

“I’m surprised you would choose such a man, since you are such an independent young woman. But I suppose you know what type of man appeals to you.”

Amanda led him toward the river, choosing a spot where guests couldn’t see them from the veranda. “I don’t have time for banter or stilted conversation. I can’t be away from Broad-moor Island much longer before I’ll be missed. I came here to ask exactly what happened between you and Julia.”

“Absolutely nothing happened between us. It’s true that I had proposed to Julia before I moved to Rochester. I thought we loved each other, and I asked her to be my wife. As I told you before, she accepted the engagement ring but returned it a short time later. She’d found another prospect more appealing—or so she told me. But things didn’t work out with him, so she came to Rochester thinking I would be delighted to pick up where we’d left off.”

“But you weren’t?”

He cupped her chin in his palm. “No, I wasn’t. When I told her I wouldn’t marry her, she begged me to accompany her back to California to explain to her parents that I was in love with someone else. She said they would never believe her. I offered to write a letter, but she cried until I finally agreed.”

“So that’s why you departed in such a hurry?”

“Yes. I knew my explanation wouldn’t sound plausible. But I’ve known Julia for years. Even though she’d broken our engagement to be with another man, I felt an obligation to her and to her parents.”

“She probably wanted the time with you, hoping to change your mind.”

“You may be correct, but I knew that wouldn’t happen. After you left that day, I realized the feelings I’d had for Julia were nothing compared to my love for you. I admired her and considered her a friend, but it’s you I desire to have by my side for the rest of my life. I never experienced that intense desire for Julia—only for you.”

His words made it difficult for Amanda to breathe. “You truly love me?”

“You know I do. I don’t want you to marry Ellert Jackson. You belong with me. Surely you know that’s true.”

“But that can’t happen. The future of my family depends upon my marriage to Ellert.”

“I don’t understand. How can a family’s future depend upon a marriage?”

“My father owes Mr. Jackson a great deal of money. If I refuse to marry him, our family will lose what’s left of our assets, not to mention the loss of social position. I am not aware of all the details or arrangements Ellert made with my father, but I do know that my family will be ruined if I don’t go through with the wedding.”

“But you don’t love him. Knowing you’ll be subjecting yourself to a life of misery in a loveless marriage, how can you agree?”

“Love doesn’t matter. This marriage is required of me.”

Blake pulled her into his arms and covered her lips with a fierce and passionate kiss and then pulled away from her. “Tell me again that it doesn’t matter.” Before she could gain enough breath to speak, he devoured her with another fervent and unyielding kiss. “Tell me you don’t love me.”

“What I feel isn’t important,” Amanda said, tears blurring her sight.

Blake wiped one tear away and placed his hand against her cheek. “It’s important to me.” He lifted her chin, forcing her eyes to meet his. “Tell me that you don’t love me, and I will go away and leave you alone.”

Amanda did her best to stifle a sob. “I’m already alone, Blake. I will be for the rest of my life.”

Ellert had quietly inquired about the young man who’d been speaking to Amanda near the back door yesterday afternoon. In all likelihood Amanda didn’t think he’d observed her little tête-à-tête, but she’d soon learn very little escaped his scrutiny. The clueless girl didn’t understand that it took only a few coins placed in the proper hand to loosen tongues.

He wasn’t all that comfortable around the water, but he was thankful for the rowing experience he’d acquired in his younger years. His muscles would ache by evening, but it would be worth it. If the fisherman who’d watched the threesome depart from the dock a short time ago was correct, he’d locate Amanda at Round Island. Instead of rowing toward the dock where guests might see him and wonder at the sight of Ellert Jackson rowing himself to the island, he approached from the other side. If necessary, he should be able to pull the skiff onto dry land without much difficulty.

He spotted a young couple near the water’s edge—young lovers clinging to each other in a passionate kiss. There was something oddly familiar about the woman. He lifted a pair of binoculars to his eyes. Amanda!

She clung to the man—the same man he’d seen her talking to the day before. How comfortable she appeared in his arms. The man touched her face with such familiarity that Ellert wanted to shout across the water and demand he release her. She certainly had never allowed him such liberties.

Ellert shoved the binoculars into the leather case and turned the boat back toward Broadmoor Island. The tightness in his chest caused his breath to come in a strained pant. How dare Amanda toy with him this way? She knew what was at stake. Ellert gripped the handles of the oars until he felt the muscles in his arms spasm in protest. She would pay dearly for this indiscretion. They both would pay.

20

Tuesday, July 18, 1899

“You are the most beautiful woman in the world,” Michael whispered against Fanny’s ear.

Fanny opened her eyes to find Michael watching her while she slept. She smiled and reached out for him. “I still can’t quite get used to your being here.”

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her soundly. “I dreamed of this every night while in the Yukon.”

“Was it horrible?” Fanny asked.

“Dreaming of you?” He looked at her oddly. “What would make you think such a thing?”

“No, silly, I meant the Yukon. I heard such horrible stories. The newspapers were full of accounts of tragedy and death. You’ve hardly told me anything about it.”

“It was some of the most beautiful and deadly country I’ve ever experienced. You would like it there, I’m quite sure. The mountains are incredible, and the vast size of the country is unbelievable.” He kissed her again. “But right now I’d rather talk about how much I love you.”

Fanny sighed and put her arms around his neck. “And right now I’d love to hear you tell me how much you love me.”

“Oh, I nearly forgot,” he said, pulling away slightly. “The paper work arrived. We now have the deed to our own island.”

“How wonderful. How soon can we move there?”

He laughed. “Well, there’s hardly more than a shack on it at present. We’ll need to build a better house first.”

“I suppose in the meantime we can live here or at Broad-moor Mansion in Rochester.”

“I’m so glad you were able to lay claim to it. I know how much your grandparents’ place meant to you. I fear, however, there would be very little I’d be able to do in Rochester to make a living.”

“Between the gold you mined in the Yukon and whatever I have left of my fortune, we hardly need to be so concerned about that.”

“I can’t sit idle,” Michael countered. “At least out here I can work with the boats. On our little island I plan to set up the finest shop to make and repair boats.”

“And I shall cook and clean for you and raise our beautiful children.”

He kissed her and pulled her close again. “I really don’t care where we live, my sweet wife, so long as you are by my side.”

“I feel the same way, Michael. I pray God never allows us to be separated again.”

Later that morning Fanny bid Michael good-bye as he headed out to help his father in the boathouse. The house seemed strangely quiet until Fanny recalled that some of the family had departed for Canada earlier in the day. Her cousin Beatrice had decided a trip to Brockville would provide an opportunity for all of the young children to become better acquainted with their Canadian ancestry. Fanny thought Beatrice simply wanted an excuse to go shopping, for she’d made certain that nannies were included among those slated for the daylong adventure.

If all went according to plan, Fanny would locate Uncle Jonas in the library. For some time she’d waited for an opportunity to speak with him in private. She inhaled a deep breath before tapping on the door. When her uncle responded, she opened the door while offering a quick prayer for strength.

“Good morning, Uncle Jonas. I’m glad to find you alone.”

“Why?” He didn’t look up.

She continued into the room and stood directly in front of the expansive mahogany desk. “Because we need to talk.”

“I’m not aware of anything that requires my attention,” he said, dipping his pen into the ink.

Not once did he make eye contact, yet she refused to be deterred by his boorish behavior. “Why don’t we discuss Amanda’s betrothal to a man she doesn’t love, a man who bears a terrible reputation and is known throughout Rochester as cruel and heartless. And then why don’t you explain to me why you would force your daughter to marry such a man.”

Finally her uncle looked up. His angry stare seared like a hot poker, and she took a backward step.

“My daughter and her marriage are none of your business, but I know that Ellert loves her. You are like so many foolish women who harbor a romantic notion that you must be in love with a man before you wed. Love can grow after marriage. You will see. Once Amanda is married to Ellert, she will learn to love him. Your aunt Victoria didn’t profess to love me before we married.”

Fanny wondered if her aunt had
ever
professed to love this cold and uncaring man, but she dared not ask such a personal question. “Even if one sets aside the age difference between Mr. Jackson and Amanda, it is obvious they have nothing in common. How can she possibly build a life with him?”

“You have nothing in common with a boatswain, yet you profess to love him. Tell me, how is this different?”

“You would dare to compare Michael to the likes of Ellert Jackson? Unlike your Mr. Jackson, Michael is a kind and generous man.” Anger welled within her, and she pointed at her uncle. “Mark my words: I will not stand by and watch you force Amanda into a loveless marriage with that despicable man.”

Her uncle scratched the nib of his pen across the writing paper. “I find it amazing that you think you have the ability to influence decisions regarding
my
daughter.” He lifted the pen into the air and aimed it at the door. “Go on with you. I have work that requires my attention.”

“I will not leave this room!” Fanny considered stomping her foot but decided her uncle would laugh at such behavior. Instead, she folded her arms tight against her chest, hoping the defiant stance underscored her determination. One look proved she’d failed. Her uncle appeared unmoved.

“Suit yourself, but I’ve given my final word on the matter.” Her uncle stood up. “If you won’t leave the room, then I will.”

She had hoped it wouldn’t come to this, but he’d given her no choice. “I think not, Uncle Jonas.” Before he could step from behind the desk, she said, “If you don’t release Amanda from this preposterous arrangement, I shall be forced to tell everyone that you stole a great deal of my inheritance, and I will also make it known that Amanda’s rejection to medical college was due to your interference. I know that you sent money to the school in exchange for a letter rejecting her application.”

He collapsed into the large leather chair. His complexion turned as gray as yesterday’s ashes. “None of what you tell Amanda or other members of the family can change the arrangement that I’ve made with Ellert.”

“Your bluff won’t work.”

“This is no bluff.” A shadow of defeat darkened his eyes.

Fanny maintained a steely look. She’d seen her uncle manipulate far too many people in the past. He’d not make a fool of her again—not after stealing her inheritance and lying to Amanda. Uncle Jonas wouldn’t win her trust so easily this time. “If you expect me to believe what you say, then I need further explanation.”

He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the back of the chair. “Sit down, Fanny. This will take a while.”

With her hands clenched into tight knots, she followed his instruction and waited for him to begin. It seemed an eternity before he finally struggled through the first sentence. She considered his words before stopping him. “I don’t know what you mean when you say Mr. Jackson bailed you out and you owe him. You owe him
what
? Amanda? Is that what you’re saying? You used your own flesh and blood as a guarantee for money?”

Her uncle sighed and hung his head forward. “Mr. Rosenblume is an excellent lawyer. I knew it would be only a matter of time before he pieced together all that had happened. He’s obviously revealed many details to you.” He shook his head in dismay. “Mortimer was instructed to destroy all of those incriminating papers. Since his death, it’s given me pause to wonder if there’s any man who can be trusted.”

“I had hoped you would say that these circumstances have caused you to reflect upon your own deceitful behavior and you have begged God’s forgiveness. Instead, you place blame on a dead man because he maintained a record of your misdeeds.”

“He was a partner in my transgressions. They were his misdeeds, as well. Keeping such records was stupidity.”

“Was it? I think Mr. Fillmore may have been protecting himself. He likely feared you would attempt to place all of the blame on him if accusations arose in regard to handling the estate. Maintaining the records provided him with proof that you were involved.” She shook her head in disgust. “The bards of old wrote that there is no honor among thieves. You and Mr. Fillmore certainly followed that dictate.”

“Have you no pity? Had I not been faced with financial ruin, I wouldn’t have touched your inheritance. I needed to save the family from disaster. My plan was to borrow from your funds and repay you when my investments improved.” His voice faltered.

“But they didn’t improve,” she said. “And when you could think of nothing else to save the Broadmoor financial empire, you decided Amanda could be sacrificed.”

“You make it sound so . . . so . . .”

“Cold and calculating?” She unfolded her hands and leaned forward. “That’s exactly what it is, Uncle Jonas. You care little if Amanda spends the rest of her life with a man who is cruel and uncaring. I daresay, he’s a man not unlike yourself.”

“No! I could never be as ruthless as Ellert Jackson,” he defended.

Fanny shook her head in disbelief. “You’ve just now admitted you know Mr. Jackson to be a heartless man, yet earlier you professed him to be a man Amanda could someday love. How is that possible? You think only of yourself, Uncle Jonas.”

“That’s not true. I was seeking a way to cover my wrongdoings—that much is correct. But my actions were to protect the family. I knew how they would suffer if the truth came out. Ellert’s proposition was my only recourse. Unfortunately, he now holds all the cards. There is nothing I can do to change things.”

Her uncle appeared to be telling the truth, yet one could never be certain with him. Had he truly explored every possible option? Fanny tapped her finger atop the desk until an idea occurred. With newfound energy, she jumped up from the chair. “I know! I’ll pay Ellert’s loan with what remains of my inheritance. Then you’ll be free to break your agreement with him.” She folded her arms across her chest, pleased with her solution.

Her smile faded as he guffawed and waved away her suggestion. “Don’t you think that if there had been enough money remaining in
either
of our accounts I would have used it to save the family?”

“Michael has money now. Perhaps if we pool our efforts.”

Desperate to find an answer to Amanda’s dilemma, Fanny sat down. She peered across the desk at her uncle. “Do you think Uncle Quincy saved any of his inheritance? Surely he hasn’t placed all of it in the Home for the Friendless. With his share he could have built a much more lavish place. If you ask him, perhaps you’ll discover that he’s invested some of his funds.”

“Quincy? He’ll be no help. I’m sure he used most of his fortune to pay past debts. You’ll recall that Wesley Hedrick’s huge pledge never came through as promised. When pledges failed to be paid, I imagine he used his inheritance to cover his losses. No doubt he’s given a good deal to several other charities. He never could give his money away quickly enough.”

“I’ll sell Broadmoor Mansion. Combined with what is left of my inheritance, there should be adequate funds, shouldn’t there?”

His brow furrowed, and he swiped at the air as if to brush away her question. “You own Broadmoor Mansion? How is that possible?”

“Mr. Rosenblume handled the details for me. I’m not certain what transpired, but he received permission from the judge before making the acquisition.” She took a modicum of pleasure seeing him pale. He was momentarily struck speechless by what she’d accomplished without his knowledge.

He massaged his temples. “Even if you sold the house, there would be insufficient funds to pay off Ellert, and he will agree to nothing less than what he is owed, plus interest. You may take my word for that or ask him yourself. He is set upon this marriage. Believe me, I tried to change his mind.” Her uncle laced his fingers together and bowed his head. “You can tell Amanda about the college situation if that’s your desire. But I believe hearing such information will only cause her undue anguish. There’s no way I can alter the past.”

Were Amanda not the one who would suffer, Fanny knew she would shout her uncle’s selfish offenses from the rooftop. She cared little if the revelation would embarrass Uncle Jonas, but Fanny would not inflict further pain upon her cousin. “At the moment there is no good that can come from telling her,” Fanny said. “Tell me, was Broadmoor Island included in your bargain with Mr. Jackson, or does it still belong to the family?”

“It remains with the family by the dictates of my father’s will. Please understand, Fanny. Ellert Jackson knows too much—he can ruin our family even if I had a way to pay him back. At least this way, he will forgive a portion of my loan and grant me an extension to repay the remainder. This will allow your aunt to go on in society as she has before and will see that my sons’ good names continue to be respected. Their futures are at stake as much as Amanda’s. I’ve done nothing but cause pain and misfortune to all those I love.”

Uncle Jonas covered his face with the palms of his hands and turned away from her. He made no sound, but his quaking shoulders were proof he’d finally been touched by remorse. Fanny stood and quietly crossed the room. After a quick glance over her shoulder, she pulled the door closed behind her. She had no desire to watch her uncle collapse in defeat. Though he’d brought this upon himself, it was Ellert Jackson who now controlled all of their lives. How could Mr. Jackson so easily take advantage of her uncle when he was in dire circumstances? Then again, Uncle Jonas had done the same thing to Ellert years ago. Though two wrongs would not set things aright, Fanny knew Ellert would take great pleasure in watching her uncle suffer.

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