Authors: Jami Alden
“She always led guys around by their dicks,” Tony pointed out, “even back when you dated her.”
“Yeah, I know. But I fooled myself into thinking I was different.” He shook his head ruefully.
“Why would you ever think that?” Tony scoffed.
“She was different around me. She had a really warm, funny side she didn’t show much. And in spite of all the rumors, she was a virgin when we started dating.” He couldn’t believe he was defending her.
Tony’s eyes opened wide in surprise.
“I know, I was shocked too.” He still remembered that first night. The look of surprised delight on her face when she came all over his hand. How hot and impossibly tight she’d felt around him, and the sharp cry of pain he couldn’t mistake. “It’s okay,” she’d whispered against his lips as he’d frozen, mid-thrust, his shock palpable. “I want this, I want it with you.”
“I managed to convince myself that the bitch goddess seductress thing was just an act.”
“I guess the bitch goddess was the real thing. After all, she did cheat on you with your best friend.”
Even after all this time, the memory of that speared him straight in the gut.
He’d fallen hard, convinced himself he knew the real Karen. The sweet, surprisingly smart, wickedly funny girl he spent two blissful months with. Not the manipulative, flashy sexpot the rest of the world saw.
He’d loved her so much it had scared the shit out of him. So much so that when she told him she loved him, he’d never let himself say it back. Never in his life had he thought himself a coward, but he’d been one with her. At twenty-one, he hadn’t been prepared for love, for what it meant. He hadn’t been ready to commit to one person for the rest of his life. Shit, at the beginning of that summer, before he and Karen had hooked up, he hadn’t been ready to commit to someone for more than a couple of weeks. As much as he’d loved her, he hadn’t been able to override the fear that drove him to push her away.
Mingled with the fear had been unease. As much as he had loved her, Mike wasn’t one to be ruled by his heart or his dick, and he’d known Karen had a reputation. She may have been a virgin, but she’d known her way around a guy’s body. He’d seen how she worked, seen how she had tried to work him. Even though he knew it was insecurity that drove her, it was so ingrained it had become instinct. And Mike hated to be manipulated.
His friend, Jeremy, had summed up Mike’s fears perfectly that night at the bar in Truckee. “Mike, when you get back to school, you’re going to have pussy coming out of your pockets. Do you really want to give that up for someone like her? No offense, man, but as soon as you’re gone, she’ll be on someone else faster than shit through a goose.”
Jeremy. The bastard had decided to prove his own point later that night by going off to a bedroom and fucking Karen. Images and emotions from that night assaulted him. The joy he’d felt when he saw her across the room, followed almost immediately by the panic he’d come to feel every time he looked into her gorgeous blue eyes so full of love and expectations he wasn’t sure he was ready to meet.
Then anger when she’d started to flirt with Jeremy. Mike had refused to take the bait, knowing she just wanted to make him jealous. She’d been insecure about him, and she’d had every right to be, given his distant behavior. He’d vowed to take her out the next day, really talk to her for the first time in what felt like weeks, straighten everything out.
Despite what Jeremy said, despite his own fear, he hadn’t wanted to lose Karen. He’d loved her. And scared shitless or not, he’d known he needed to stop running from it.
But then he’d gone to get a beer, and when he came back, both Karen and Jeremy were gone. When he asked, he was told they went upstairs.
“I still can’t believe they did that,” Mike said, trying to force the distasteful images from his mind. Tony laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. His stomach clenched, just as it had then as he’d walked down the hall. He’d heard the unmistakable sounds—bedsprings creaking, muted grunts—coming through the slightly ajar door to one of the bedrooms. He’d peeked through the cracks. All he’d seen was Jeremy’s torso, a woman’s long, tan legs spread under him. Tiny feet with the ridiculous platform shoes he’d teased Karen about that very afternoon.
The rest of that night was a blur. He remembered Jeremy’s face, smug and self-congratulatory. Karen’s a mask of guilt as she grabbed his arm and begged him to listen. As though she could possibly explain.
“At least you beat the crap out of him,” Tony said. “Did he ever manage to get his teeth fixed?”
Mike smiled grimly. He could still remember the satisfaction of Jeremy’s face crunching under his fist, the primal pleasure he’d received at Jeremy’s new snaggle-toothed smile. “I think so. I didn’t keep in touch after that.”
He smashed his empty soda can. “I can’t believe she still gets to me like she does,” he ground out, slamming his fist against the tailgate. “You’d think after all this time I would be over it. Goddamn her, she’s still fucking with my head after eleven years.”
Tony was quiet, knowing that Mike’s tirade didn’t require commentary. Mike didn’t often lose his cool, and his brothers had long ago learned to listen quietly as he got it all out. After several moments Tony said, “You know she’s probably going to be at the wedding tomorrow. What are you going to do?”
Mike laughed humorlessly. “Avoid her like the plague.” Right. As though that would be possible.
“Smart move,” Tony nodded soberly.
“Or drag her off and fuck her out of my system.” But that might take another twenty years.
Tony laughed. “I know what I’d do.”
Mike snorted. “Yeah, I know what you’d do. But then, you’re a freakin’ menace.” Tony’s idea of a long-term relationship was having sex with the same woman more than once. He didn’t allow his feelings to get so complicated.
As a rule, Mike didn’t either. Sex was something he enjoyed a lot, and he liked having it regularly. His usual pattern was to date a woman for a while, always clear about his intentions or lack thereof. Within a few weeks, sometimes a couple months, inevitably whomever he was seeing would want to take their relationship to “the next level.” Mike never had any problems cutting it off, had never been emotionally engaged enough to even be tempted to move to any level beyond friends who fuck. And he never, ever, let his dick overrule his brain when he sensed a woman might be more trouble than she was worth.
His sharp laugh caught Tony’s attention. “It figures,” he said. “The only woman who can twist me in knots is the one I let screw me over.”
“Yeah. Too bad Nick got the nice Sullivan sister.”
K
aren paced outside of Kelly’s dressing room as she waited for the last of the bridesmaids to leave. Given their relationship, Karen wasn’t surprised when Kelly didn’t ask her to be a bridesmaid. Still, she was a little sad. She knew her mother would have wanted them to resolve their differences before now and would have wanted the sisters to play bigger roles in each other’s lives.
It was on Karen’s shoulders to make the first move, and here she was. Better late than never.
The ceremony was in ten minutes, and this was supposed to be Kelly’s time alone to compose herself. Karen didn’t want to intrude, but she didn’t have much choice. She had tried to schedule drinks Thursday night, here at the Plumpjack resort, but Kelly had too many last-minute details to handle. Breakfast and lunch yesterday were booked, and of course last night was the rehearsal dinner.
Even if Karen had been able to get Kelly alone, she’d been so distracted by Mike she wouldn’t have been able to focus enough to say what she needed to say.
Karen couldn’t blame Kelly for avoiding her. She couldn’t remember a single conversation in their lives that hadn’t ended in an argument.
Kit suddenly appeared by her side and grabbed her in a quick hug. “It’s all going to be fine. Just get in there and say what you need to say.” Karen returned her friend’s embrace and stepped back and looked into Kit’s encouraging gray eyes. Jake stood next to her, looking hunky in his tuxedo, demonstrating yet again that all the Donovans were put on this earth to be ogled. He regarded Karen with wary friendliness, which was a nice break from the hostility Karen had expected. As far as she knew, all of the Donovans still saw her as that little bitch who had screwed Mike over.
An unpleasant thought reared its ugly head, and she tugged Kit out of Jake’s hearing range. “You didn’t tell Jake, did you? About what really happened?” She wasn’t ashamed or embarrassed, exactly, but she wanted to tell Mike first, in her own time, before his brothers found out.
“No,” Kit said. “I only told him that it didn’t exactly happen the way he heard and he should cut you some slack.”
Karen let out a sigh of relief and squeezed Kit’s hand gratefully. Kit leaned down and brushed a kiss across her cheek. “Remember, you can only control what you do.” Kit and Jake left Karen standing outside Kelly’s room.
Karen squared her shoulders, waiting for Kelly’s attendants to leave. She squeezed her fist, the diamond pendant she held pressing into her palm.
Finally the last of the bridesmaids three—Jenna, Jenny?—something like that—emerged. Even as Karen allowed herself the faintest regret that she wasn’t in her sister’s wedding, she consoled herself with the fact that she looked putrid in that particular shade of lilac.
Mike and Tony came around the corner just as she reached for the doorknob. Both eyed her warily.
Mike looked delicious in his tux, immediately reminding Karen of how good he looked out of it. His suspicious glare was the only thing that prevented her from melting into a puddle right there on the hardwood floor. She glared back. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to splash red paint on her dress or anything.” God, was it too much to ask that someone had a little faith in her better nature?
“If you do anything to upset her, Karen, I swear—” Mike let his threat trail off.
“Or what, you’ll spank me?” She couldn’t help taunting him.
Tony glared at her, arms folded over his massive chest like an angry bouncer.
She shook her head and let out an exasperated sigh. “Look you two, I want to give Karen my mom’s necklace, that’s it.”
“Let me see it,” Mike said.
“You want to frisk me too?” Karen snapped, gratified at the involuntary glint of interest in Mike’s hazel gaze. Karen thrust the necklace into his face.
Tony observed them warily, as though scenting tension and attraction.
“If you hear any screams, you have my permission to raid the premises.”
She turned her back and opened the door before they could stop her.
Kelly turned.
Karen gasped. “Kelly, you look gorgeous,” she breathed.
Kelly stared at her as though she’d grown a third boob.
Not surprising, since Karen hadn’t said anything that nice to Kelly…well, ever.
“I mean it, Kel, you’re a groom’s wet dream.” Kelly’s sleeveless dress hugged her torso like a glove, playing up her enviably full bust and narrow waist before falling into a simple A-line skirt that just brushed the floor. “You look so elegant and sexy.” She ran her gaze up and down again, pausing at Kelly’s deep cleavage framed by the sweetheart neckline. “I can’t believe you got all the brains
and
all the boobs.”
Kelly started to laugh, then caught herself, eyeing Karen warily, poised for the customary attack. “What are you doing here, Karen? I’m getting married in ten minutes, and I really don’t want to get into it with you right now.”
Karen held up a palm. “I know, and that’s not what I’m here for. I have something to give you, and I promise I’ll leave.” She held out the hand with the necklace where Kelly could see.
“Mom’s necklace,” Kelly said, unconsciously touching the matching bracelet already clasped around her right wrist.
“Here, let me,” Karen said, reaching up and around Kelly’s neck, careful not to mess up Kelly’s veil as she fastened the two-carat solitaire pendant around her neck. “You probably already have something borrowed, but I know Mom would want you to wear it.”
From behind her, Karen caught their reflection in the full-length mirror. Tears shimmered in Kelly’s eyes. “I don’t know what to say. Thank you.”
Karen closed her eyes as warmth rushed through her. Amazing, she thought wryly, how good being nice felt. But she wasn’t finished yet. She licked dry lips and tried to remember what she’d planned to say. “Look, Kelly,” she began, stomach clenched in knots.
How come no one ever said how hard it was to apologize?
“I know I haven’t been the best sister.” She saw Kelly’s eyes widen in the mirror. The wary look was back as Kelly turned to face her. “Okay, I’ve been a really shitty sister.” Her palms were sweaty, and she fought the urge to wipe them on the chiffon fabric of her dress. “I know this is too little, too late, but I just want you to know that I love you, Kelly.”
Kelly shook her head and actually glanced behind her shoulder, as though waiting for Ashton Kutcher to tell her she was being punk’d.
“I mean it. I love you, and I’m really happy for you. Nick is a great guy, and I know he’ll treat you well.”
“Karen, are you okay? You’re not, like, sick or anything? Stanford’s a great hospital and we have top specialists—”
Karen laughed. “It’s okay, Doctor, I’m not terminal. Someday I’ll tell you all about Mom, therapy, and figuring out what’s important, but today you have to get married.”
“I’m going to hold you to that,” Kelly said, still completely weirded out. She glanced up at the clock again. “Guess I better get out there.”
Karen smiled. “Guess you better.”
Karen held the door as Kelly walked out of the dressing room and chuckled to see Mike and Tony still out there on security detail. “Your guard dogs,” she muttered to Kelly. “See guys? All in one piece. No tears, scratches, or mussed hairdo.” She turned back to Kelly. “Be happy.”
Kelly reached out to hug her, but Karen held her away. “I don’t want to muss you,” she quickly reassured her when she saw the flash of rejection in Kelly’s face. Karen leaned up on tiptoe and pressed a kiss to her sister’s cheek, and turned to find her father standing with Mike and Tony. After shaking Ryan Sullivan’s hand, Tony left to take his place beside Nick, but Mike lingered.
“Ready to go?” her father asked Kelly. She nodded and took his proffered arm. As they walked down the hall, both looked back, pleasantly bewildered.
Karen started to follow them so she could take her seat before the ceremony began but was stopped by Mike’s firm grip on her forearm. She could practically hear her skin sizzle at the contact, sending heat spiraling through her limbs. Memories, hot and vibrant, sprang into her head.
Mike, hard and thick against her tongue as she sucked him. His lips and tongue buried between her thighs, savoring her wet, juicy sex and making her come like no one ever could. Her eyes drifted shut at the remembered feel of him driving, thrusting, so deep inside her, taunting her, making her beg.
She shook her head, forcing down the temptation to pull him into the dressing room. She could not give in to him—or herself—again. Couldn’t fall back into that trap, no matter how much she wanted him.
For two weeks, she’d tried to put their encounter out of her head, instead focusing on the best way to approach Mike and get him to listen to the truth. But all it took was one touch and she was about to fall apart. Again.
“What are you up to, Karen?”
“Let go of me please,” she said quietly.
He didn’t. “Your entire life you’ve been nothing but mean to your sister, and suddenly you’re friends? I don’t buy it.”
She wrenched her arm from his grip. A snappy remark was on the tip of her tongue. Instead she said, “People change, Mike. Even me.”
His scornful gaze raked her from the top of her tousled curls to the tips of her pink polished toes. “Two weeks ago being an example?”
Heat bloomed in her cheeks and hurt clenched in her chest, followed quickly by anger. “Fuck you, Mike.”
He opened his mouth, but before he could reply, Nick poked his head around the corner and indicated with an impatient gesture for Mike to get his ass out to the altar.
Karen followed them out onto the lawn and took her seat next to Kit. Nick and his brothers stood waiting at the altar, the all of them looking like an advertisement for gorgeous male escorts. The harpist plucked out the first bars of the wedding march, and everyone stood to watch Kelly walk down the aisle.
She really does look like an angel
, Karen thought, surprised at the sentimental turn of her thoughts. Behind the gossamer-thin veil Kelly’s blue eyes sparkled with happiness and her lips trembled even as she smiled.
Never in her wildest dreams had Karen imagined that her best friend and her little sister would end up with Jake and Nick Donovan. The world was so strange.
Karen looked up at the altar and sucked in her breath when she saw Nick. He fairly glowed as he looked at Kelly, all the love in the universe right there on his face.
Karen closed her eyes. What would it feel like to have a man look at her like that?
She looked at Mike, her gaze drawn like a magnet to steel. He stared at her, but there was no love in his expression.
She watched him, her building anger distracting her from the beauty of the ceremony.
She hadn’t been alone in that suite two weeks ago, and for Mike to try to make her feel trashy about it was completely unfair.
So much for her plans for an amicable discussion. Karen was almost tempted to abandon her plan to tell Mike the truth.
No, she thought. She needed to. She knew, deep in her bones, that she would feel better to have the secret out, have it purged from her system. For eleven years she’d carried this burden of shame and self-disgust, and Mike’s abandonment of her had only compounded it. He shouldn’t be allowed to bask in self-righteous anger over her perceived sins. It was time he knew the truth, so she could finally move on.
She focused again on Mike to find him still staring at her. His expression certainly wasn’t loving, but it wasn’t hostile either. He seemed to be studying her, trying to figure her out. She stared him down. She confused him. Good. She hoped he was thrown off by what happened two weeks ago and befuddled by her behavior today. About time someone challenged his assumptions. Maybe he would finally realize how wrong he’d been about her all along.
Five minutes after Karen got to the reception, she was ready to leave. She’d been grateful that she’d only been required to stand for three quick photos, especially when the photographer stood her in front of Mike.
“Hey, big guy, put your hand on the little blonde’s shoulder. You’re all family here. Make it look friendly.”
She glanced down at her shoulder, bare except for the thin spaghetti strap holding her dress up. Shockingly, no brand or burn mark had appeared. She could still feel the imprint of Mike’s hand on her bare skin, the gentle stroke of his callused thumb making circles along her shoulder blade. She’d turned to look at him but he stared straight ahead, as though unaware of his caresses.
Anxious to get away and numb her nerves with some champagne, Karen made a beeline for the bar.
She took her glass, drank a hefty swallow, and looked around.
Objectively, she readily admitted that they had put together a gorgeous party. But then, it
was
Plumpjack, one of the nicest resorts in Squaw Valley. Tables were set around the pool deck. Waiters passed hors d’oeuvres like prosciutto-wrapped figs and smoked trout canapés, while a lavish seafood buffet awaited the arrival of the bride and groom.
No, the party itself wasn’t the problem. Rather, it was the guest list. Karen hadn’t looked around much at the ceremony, focused as she was on Mike, but now she recognized several faces, male and female, from her high school.
She scanned the crowd for Kit and saw her talking to Maria Donovan. No way was she going to bust in on that conversation. Earlier, when Karen had tried to congratulate her on her son’s marriage, Maria had looked through Karen as though she didn’t exist.
Karen straightened her shoulders and walked over to the nearest empty table. At least Kelly had foregone assigned seats so Karen wouldn’t be forced to share a table with, say, Katie Hossford, who glared at Karen and clenched a chicken skewer in a manner that had Karen worried for her eyesight.
She sat for several minutes watching the guests with feigned casualness. Used to being the life of any party, Karen’s pride was pricked when no one sat with her even as the tables began to fill up. After a bit, she couldn’t help but be amused. Several men, some she knew and some she didn’t, smiled at her and made as though to come join her. All were quickly herded away by wives and girlfriends nipping at their heels.