A Time for Peace (16 page)

He trusted them. It was a good hospital and the staff had treated his family well in the past. After all, it hadn't been their fault he'd lost Amelia. The cancer, His will, had been stronger, her time to meet with God at hand.

And all the other times he'd come here, to see Jenny after the buggy accident and the various minor accidents
kinner
got involved in—everything had turned out
allrecht.

But his heart was still beating fast and his hands shook.

"Matthew?"

He looked up as Jenny came rushing toward him. He stood and was relieved when she embraced him and didn't let go.Something lifted and settled inside him as she pressed her cheek against his and held on. He absorbed her love and support.Whatever their problems, he needed this now.

Everything else—the hurt, the hard words, the distance— fell away with the human contact.

Finally, Jenny stood back. "What have they said about Joshua?"

"They haven't told me anything yet, just that he's stable and he's having tests and a CAT scan."

Without speaking they clasped hands, bent their heads, and prayed for their son. And then they sat and kept holding hands and tried not to watch the clock.

Finally, Jenny could bear it no longer.

"Five minutes," she said. "If they don't come out in five minutes and tell us something, I'm going in."

He smiled as he touched her cheek. "The doors are locked."

"How do you know?"

"I watched another parent try them when anxiety got to her."

Jenny lifted her chin. "Well, they can't keep me away from my son. I need to see my son."

Matthew knew his wife. He figured she'd beat the door down if necessary.

Fortunately, he didn't have to worry about that. A nurse came out and called to them a few minutes later.

"They heard me," Jenny muttered beneath her breath.

Knowing was best, Matthew told himself. Whatever the news, it was better than waiting outside, feeling helpless.

The walk down the hallway, then past the cubicles, felt endless. Cries of pain, murmurs of comfort came from behind some of the curtains. There was a flurry of movement as nurses rushed past them to a cubicle where Matthew feared something really serious was happening.

A nurse stood beside Joshua's gurney. She smiled when they walked in. "The doctor stepped out for a minute but he'll be right back."

Joshua lay with his eyes closed, his face pale against the paper pillow. A bandage wound around his head. An IV was hooked up and fluids were being pumped into him. Machines blinked and beeped at his side.

Matthew and Jenny moved to each side of his bed. She carefully stroked Joshua's hair. He could see that part of his son's head had been shaved and several black stitches had been sewn on his scalp. A small cast covered one even smaller wrist.

"Has he woken up yet?" Matthew barely recognized his voice. It sounded old and rusty as if he hadn't used it much.

"Not yet," the nurse told him gently. She looked tired but she had kind eyes and from her age, Matthew guessed she had years of experience with frantic parents.

The doctor stepped inside. He shook their hands and then slapped the X-rays up on a lighted box.

"He took quite a blow to his head," the man said without preamble. "Looks like a bit of concussion but I think he'll be fine. He's also got a simple fracture of the wrist."

Matthew felt Jenny slump with relief at the news. "What about the seizure?" Jenny asked before Matthew could.

"It's fairly common after a head injury."

The police officer had said that. Matthew had wanted to believe him.

"We have some blood tests being analyzed to see how bad the seizure was. It dumps a chemical into the bloodstream.Sometimes a head injury will cause epilepsy but if he has no more seizures there'll be no need for meds."

"When will he wake up?"

The doctor smiled. "Soon. Try to relax."

He left and they stood there with the nurse, watching for a sign of awakening from Joshua, listening to the beep of the machines.

"We had to cut off his clothes to make it easier to examine him," said the nurse whose nameplate announced her as Susan. "I thought you might want this." She handed Jenny a folded up piece of paper.

Curious, Jenny opened it and then she burst into tears. "It's a note I wrote him," she told Matthew. "I put one in his lunchbox every morning. He kept the one from today. Why would he do that?"

Feeling the sting of tears in his own eyes, Matthew tried to smile at her. "He loves his
mamm."

An hour passed, then another. The nurse brought chairs for them to sit beside Joshua's bed.

"Talk to him," the nurse invited.

Matthew stared at her. "He can hear us even when he looks like he's sleeping?"

"I've found it to be true," she said, nodding. "I know it was scary to watch him having a seizure, but some children never have another after a head injury."

"I just want him to wake up," Matthew said.

She patted his arm. "He will." She straightened the sheets on the bed. "What were you doing before the accident? Had you had supper?"

Matthew nodded. "We were visiting with friends who came from New York to see us," he said, struggling to remember what had happened before the accident. "Joshua ran into the road to catch a kitten that got out of the barn. He did it so his younger sister wouldn't. He fell and hit his head."

"Ah, a good big brother, huh?"

Matthew nodded. "
Ya."

"So he's not going to get into trouble?"

The nurse was staring hard at him, looking like she was trying to send a message.

"
Nee,"
Matthew told him. "It was a mistake he'll not likely make again."

"So what's Joshua's favorite dinner?"

"Pizza," Jenny told her. "He loves pizza."

"Maybe that's where you'll go as soon as you get out of here," the nurse said and she winked at Matthew and jerked her head at Joshua. "I bet that'd perk him right up. What's he like on his pizza?"

"Lots of pepperoni."

"I just took my kids to this place where they have games the children can play. You know, like Whack-a-Mole and old fashioned tabletop games. I'll tell you where it is if you like."

Then she frowned. "I'm sorry, I think the games are nothing your faith would object to but—"

Matthew held up a hand. Had he seen Joshua's lashes flutter? He gestured to Jenny to join him at his side and held her close.

"No, I'm sure they're
allrecht,"
he said, not sure of that at all. But at the very least, they were going there as soon as they could for pizza.

"The pizza sounds like a very good idea," he said. "Don't you think, Jenny?"

She looked at him, confused, and then when he gestured at Joshua, her face brightened. "And root beer. Joshua and the other children really love root beer."

Joshua stirred and he slowly opened his eyes. "Games? Pizza?"

Matthew felt his heart rise in his throat. He cleared it."Games. And lots of pepperoni."

Thank you, God, he said silently and he looked at Jenny who was crying.

"That sound good,
sohn?"

"Yeah." He turned his head slightly and winced. "Hi,
Mamm."

"Hi."

"You're crying." He turned back to his
daed.
"You, too."

"Your
mamm
calls them happy tears. We were worried about you."

"Head hurts," he complained. "And I'm sleepy. I want to—" he stopped and closed his eyes, then blinked and opened them again. "I want to sleep a little while. Is that okay?"

"We'll be right here when you wake up," Jenny promised him.

"Pizza. We're going for pizza, right?"

Matthew met the nurse's eyes. "
Schur."

The nurse glanced at Joshua and then she smiled at them. "I should buy stock in that place. Every time I mention it to one of my pediatric patients, they perk right up."

Jenny tucked Joshua's blanket around him and wished she had his quilt to put around him instead. She sighed. Maybe tomorrow he'd be home and she could do it then.

There was a noise at the door and she looked up to see Hannah and Chris.

"How is he?" Hannah whispered as she hurried forward to hug Jenny.

Something pushed at Jenny and, startled, she stepped back.

"Sorry, the baby's been kicking a lot today."

"Can I touch?"

Hannah took her hand and placed it on her abdomen. The kick was instantaneous, as if the baby were trying to connect to her. "Wow."

"I think maybe he's more active because of me rushing."

"He?" She smiled at Chris and accepted his hearty hug.

"Just a term. We still don't know if it's a he or she."

"Not fair—Phoebe knows."

"Tough," Hannah said without rancor and sank into the chair Chris pushed closer to Joshua's bed for her. "How's he doing?"

"He's been sleeping a little while but he's doing fine. No more seizures. And his speech—" she broke off as it all just became too much. "His speech seems fine. We got lucky."

Hannah tried to lever herself out of the chair but Jenny waved her back and dug in her pocket for a handkerchief. "No, stay there. I'm sorry, it's just—it's just—"

"Been really stressful," Chris said and he gave her a big hug again. He patted her back. "I know it must have brought up bad memories of what happened to you."

He glanced around. "Where's Matthew? I thought he was here with you."

Jenny stifled a yawn with her hand. "He went for coffee and some sandwiches. But he's been gone a long time."

"I'll go find him." He turned to Hannah. "Want anything?"

"Coffee," she said, pouting. "But I can't have it."

"Maybe some chocolate milk?"

She grinned. "It sounds babyish but yes." After he left, she looked at Jenny. "He knows me so well."

Joshua stirred and opened his eyes. He focused for a moment and then grinned. "
Aenti
Hannah."

"Hi, Joshua. How are you feeling?"

"Okay," he said.

But both of them saw him wince at even the slightest movement of his head on the pillow.

Jenny checked the clock on the wall. "Let me go ask the nurse if you can have something for the pain."

"
Nee,
it's okay."

"But you're hurting." Jenny frowned as she stroked his hair visible above the bandage around his head.

He avoided her eyes. "I made enough trouble." His mouth trembled when he looked up.

"Ssh," Jenny said, her heart breaking. "Oh, son, you didn't cause us any trouble. It was an accident!"

"I shouldn't have been out in the street running after the kitten," he said staunchly, looking older than his years. "I'll pay you back for the hospital. I'll work this summer—"

"Work? What's this about work?" Matthew asked as he walked into the room with their coffee.

"He thinks he caused us trouble and he should pay for the hospital," Jenny said. "I was trying to tell him he didn't."

"I disobeyed the rules," Joshua insisted and he began crying."Forgive me,
Daed, Mamm?"

Matthew set the cardboard carrier with the coffee down on the bedside table. "Everyone makes mistakes,
sohn.
And you kept your sisters out of the road."

He bent down to hug Joshua. "I know you won't do something like that again. Mary told me Annie wanted to run after the kitten but you wouldn't let her." He patted his son's shoulder."I ran into the doctor on the way back and he said he thinks you can go home tomorrow."

"And have pizza on the way home at that place the nurse said?" Joshua looked hopeful as he shifted to get more comfortable in the bed.

"Pizza on the way home. We'll bring your sisters tomorrow when we come get you."

He looked at Jenny and she nodded. "We'll bring plenty of quarters for the games," she told him. "You can Whack-a-Mole as much as you want. Although Annie may not approve of a game where you're hitting an animal, even a fake one."

Suddenly her stomach roiled and she pushed the cup of coffee in Matthew's hand and bolted for the bathroom. She slammed the door behind her and barely made it to the toilet to throw up.

M
amm!
Mamm!"

Jenny flew down the stairs when she heard Annie calling for her.

"What is it?" Breathless, panting at the exertion, she halted in front of Annie. "What's wrong?"

"Josiah just brought this box!"

Annie set it carefully on the kitchen table.

Frowning, Jenny approached it and then jumped back when the box moved.

"What's in it?"

"I don't know. Can we open it?"

There was a muffled noise and the box moved several inches on the table.

"No! Leave it alone! Let me think." Jenny searched her memory for what Chris had done in the military. Had he been in the bomb squad? Maybe they should go get him . . .

A bit unnerved, she pushed Annie behind her and tried to think what to do. Surely Josiah wouldn't bring them something bad, would he? He'd gotten over his attitude about her, seemed brusque sometimes but wasn't actively unfriendly as he'd been when she first came here and he thought she should go back to New York City. As a matter of fact, he'd almost cracked a smile at her at worship services last month.

Phoebe walked into the room. Seeing them standing there looking at the box, she moved closer. "What's up?"

"Josiah gave this box to Annie."

"What's in it?"

Jenny exchanged a look with Annie who was peeking from behind her. "We don't know. We're afraid to look."

"I'm not afraid to look!" Annie piped up.

Annie started to move around from behind her but Jenny held her back. "Well, I am. So stay where you are."

"This is just silly!" Phoebe put her hands on her hips and stared at them. "Why would you be afraid of anything Josiah brought?"

The box jumped.

Muttering under her breath about people with active imaginations, Phoebe quickly folded back the flaps and out popped an orange-colored kitten.

"Pumpkin!" Annie cried, rushing forward.

The cat hissed and jumped off the table, racing into the other room where it scaled the living room curtains.

Annie ran after it but she couldn't reach it. Jenny hurried over and almost had the kitten in her grasp when Pumpkin decided to jump down.

Onto Jenny's back.

"Ow!" she screeched, dancing and batting her hands at the kitten as its claws sank into her shoulders despite her clothing.

"Get it off! Get it off!"

"What's going on?" Mary asked as she entered the living room. "I could hear you yelling all the way upstairs. "Oh! Pumpkin!"

Laughing, shaking her head, Phoebe grasped the kitten and wrapped it in a dishcloth she carried. She made shushing noises and finally the kitten settled down so that she could hand it to Annie.

"Here, go take her out to her mother," she told the girl. "But if she gets like that again, let her go and do not chase her into the road. Promise me."

"I won't," Annie said soberly. "I promise." She looked at her mother. "I do."

"I'll go with her to make sure," Mary told them.

"How can one tiny kitten create such chaos?" Jenny asked Phoebe. "And have such sharp claws?"

"Let's take a look at those scratches. They can get infected."

"I can do it," Jenny said as she started toward the stairs.

"You cannot reach your back," Phoebe told her quietly. "Will you not let me take care of them for you?"

Jenny stopped. She was right. And it was time to start bridging the gap that had grown between them.

"Thank you," she said, nodding.

"
Kumm,
I have what we need in my rooms."

Following her, Jenny stepped into the
dawdi haus,
a place she hadn't entered since her grandmother had been ill.

Phoebe drew the shades over the window and then turned to help Jenny draw down the top of her dress.

"That looks painful," Phoebe said as she looked at the scratches.

Turning, she took a first-aid box from a kitchen cabinet. "Sit down and we'll take care of it," she invited.

As she did, Jenny found herself glancing around. A pot of herbs basked in the sunlight filtering into the kitchen window.An earthenware vase of bittersweet Annie had picked sat in the center of the table.

But it was more than that. Some of Phoebe's things Jenny couldn't remember bringing from her house to this one were here: the teakettle a good friend had given Phoebe, some decorations and books and the quilt that lay across the back of the sofa.

Little touches that showed that Phoebe had begun making a home here instead of next door, even though when they'd been so upset with each other she'd said that maybe she should go live with a friend because she was getting in the way.

Jenny wanted to ask her grandmother about them but wasn't sure of this new way they were treating each other, a reaching out as tenuous as a strand of spider web.

"This might sting a bit," Phoebe warned.

The stuff she was using to clean the wounds smelled herbal, something naturopathic that Jenny knew people in the community favored over fancy, expensive
Englisch
medicine from pharmacies.

"I remember my mother using iodine years ago and blowing on it to keep it from stinging," Jenny said. "It was so long ago."

She fell silent for a long moment. "It's funny the way the smell of things brings people back. That face lotion, I think it's called Oil of Olay. Lemon muffins. And when I smell lilacs in the spring I remember the night we sneaked into the vacant property down the street from the house where we lived. They were going to cut the trees down the next day to build the new junior high school.

"So Mom and I went and cut armloads of them and brought them home and stuck them into every vase and jar we could find. When I think of lilacs now I can smell them warm and soft in my arms."

She glanced up at her grandmother. "And you. There's always this scent of lavender about you. And I never smell cinnamon buns without thinking of you. How you always baked them for me when I came here, even though it was summer and the house got warm early."

Phoebe smiled slightly and set the cloth down that she'd used to clean the scratches.

Jenny felt her grandmother's fingers dab on something cool and soothing and then she helped Jenny pull her dress back up over her shoulders.

"Dad always wore this aftershave I bought him," Jenny continued."I don't know that he liked it but I'd given it to him for Father's Day when I was ten and he kept buying it after he used it up."

She took a deep breath and then found herself blurting out, "I had a dream about him last week."

Phoebe sat in the chair beside Jenny. "You did?"

Jenny studied the vase of bittersweet. Life felt like that right now. "He and I argued about how I felt he was high-handed taking me away from here that last summer."

"Jenny—"

She held up a hand. "No, please, let me finish. I don't want to fight with you, too. I still think it should have been handled differently. I had a right to make my own decisions. People get married at that age all the time."

"But he and your mother wanted you to have an education.You wouldn't have had that here."

Jenny shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not. And maybe I wouldn't have cared." She glanced around the room. "I was so lonely sometimes,
Grossmudder.
Especially when I went overseas."

She fell silent, wondering if her grandmother would ever understand the pain she'd been through. It had been worse than when she'd sustained physical injuries from the bombing.

"I loved Matthew so much. I know I seemed young then but I really did love him. And when he didn't answer my letters . . . and I heard later that he got married—well, it broke my heart.

"And now . . ." she trailed off and when she looked at her grandmother, she couldn't help blinking away her tears. "I told Daddy it hurts so much that I missed out on having children, that I might never have them."

"But—"

"No, I know what you're going to say," she interrupted."Daddy said the same thing I think you're about to say—that I
have
children. And I don't even have to say he's right. I know he is."

She wiped away a tear with her hand and her grandmother reached over for a box of tissues and handed them to her.

"I love these children I have. I did from almost the minute I met them. They
are
my children now. And Joshua's accident . . . wow, what clarity you get from something like that."

She broke down then and Phoebe gathered her into her arms.

"Shh," Phoebe said, patting her back.

"One minute I'm holding that little baby of David and Joy's and wanting one like her so badly it's like a pain here—" she sobbed, gesturing at her heart. "The next I'm hearing Mary scream and running out to find Joshua lying in the street. And when he started seizing—"

"Ssh," Phoebe whispered. "Everything's
allrecht
now. He's coming home soon. Don't cry, dear one. You'll just make yourself sick again."

Jenny wiped her eyes and pulled away from the comfort. "I know. David will be here any minute," she said, glancing at the clock. "I'm going to go wash my face."

"Maybe I should call my friend and cancel our plans."

"No, you go ahead. Like I said before, I imagine the pizza place will be kind of noisy and all with children. If you cook Joshua's favorite supper for him tomorrow and make a fuss, he'll be happy."

"I'll do that, then."

There was a knock on the door. "
Mamm,
David's here," Mary said.

"Perfect timing," Jenny told her. "Tell him I'll be right there."

"Here, use my bathroom," Phoebe said. "I'll go keep everyone occupied until you come out."

Nodding, Jenny watched Phoebe stride toward the connecting door. "My bathroom," Phoebe had said. She was referring to this addition to the main house as hers.

It was a step, she thought, to bridging the gap that had stretched between them. She hoped that somehow they'd find a way to close it.

"I can get dressed myself. I'm not a
boppli."

"No,
sohn,
you're not. But it's hard with your wrist, isn't it?" Matthew responded reasonably.

"
Ya,"
Joshua admitted as he struggled with the buttons on his shirt and then gave up. "You can help. But just this one time. I'm so hungry for pizza."

Matthew tried to hide his smile as he fastened the buttons."Just this one time," he agreed.

The wrist wasn't going to heal in a day. Few things were accomplished in a day. Especially getting his and Jenny's relationship back on track even though they'd made some strides toward it while their son was injured.

Jenny didn't understand how things were here, even though she'd seemed to adapt so well. A young man had to listen to a young woman's father. He held the authority and he was to be respected. And while Matthew felt he'd have been a good husband to Jenny and provided for her well even at that young age, he'd been trained to give that respect even if he didn't want to.

Somehow he had to make Jenny understand that.

He handed his son the dark pants Jenny had brought him.Joshua held his arms as Matthew slipped them over his legs and after they were fastened, Matthew's eyes widened. The hems were two inches from his son's feet.

"Well, look what we have here," he said. "Did you grow that much in the hospital in one day?"

Joshua grinned. "I'll be taller than you soon."

Matthew nodded as Joshua sat and he put socks on his feet and then shoes. He felt more than heard Joshua make a noise and looked up to see his son wince. "What is it?"

"Nothing."

He didn't think it was nothing. "Stand up," he said and when Joshua did, he knelt and pushed his thumb down on the toe box to see if there was any room, the way every parent did when he bought shoes for his
kinner.
He didn't need to see Joshua's face to find that the shoes were too small. "You've outgrown the shoes, too?"

"They're fine."

Matthew stood and laid a hand on his shoulder. "They're not. And I don't want you to tell me that when it isn't true. We don't want you walking around hurting because you've outgrown your shoes. Your
mamm
and I will take you shopping in a few days when you're feeling better."

"But—"

"And just think," he said, taking out a comb to gently unsnarl Joshua's fair hair above his bandage. "The way you're going, you might grow taller than me. But you're going to have bigger feet."

Joshua laughed then and hugged him. They stood there for a long moment and Matthew silently thanked God for not taking this gawky boy home. Joshua squirmed when he must have thought that his father was holding him too long, too tightly. But he settled and simply held on, too.

And then Annie was knocking impatiently at the door and sticking her head inside, wanting to know what was taking so long, and everything was back to normal.