A Touch Morbid (3 page)

“Eden coming by today?” Zach asked, twisting to fill another paper cup.

“Not sure. Maybe. Tomorrow probably.”

Zach moved in front of Jarrod, pausing enough to catch his attention. “She okay?”

Zach hadn’t been told why Adam suddenly wasn’t with their crew anymore. The one time it was brought up, Jarrod’s discomfort left Zach assuming there’d been a nasty breakup between Eden and Adam.

“Sure,” Jarrod said, already knowing his answer came too quick to be believable. “She’s got the new boyfriend so they’ve been holed up.”

“Right.” Zach frowned. “Well, tell her I miss her face.”

“I’ll pass it on.” Jarrod took a second to strip off his dirty gloves and throw on a new pair.

“How about you? You seem off today.”

Jarrod shrugged. He’d known Zach awhile now. Granted, he’d been on the other side of the counter before, a customer, not an employee. Still, if he was that easy to read, Jarrod needed to get better at hiding his worry. “Just tired. I’m sorry.”

He’d spent last night out with Eden, scouring block after block, alleys and cafes and dark corners, searching for any sign of Gabe. Too many hours of rushing adrenaline. The three hours of sleep he’d gotten left him feeling drugged, disoriented. The shuffling approach of another customer brought him back to the counter.

“What can I get you?” he asked. When there was no answer, he glanced up. The girl at the counter stared at his hands. He waved one in front of her. “Order?”

“Oh,” she said, as if suddenly realizing there was a line behind her. Her eyes jumped to the menu. “Surprise me with something.”

“You got it.” He turned, throwing together a mix of flavors and steamed milk. He tossed some whipped cream on top and slid the cup across the counter as he took her twenty-dollar bill. When he dropped the change into her hand, she whimpered.

He froze instinctively, but he knew he hadn’t passed her Touch. His gloves were fresh, and he hadn’t made contact. Even if he had, she wouldn’t have felt it for hours still. He eyed the girl. She stared back, her teeth digging into a chapped lip. A few minute cracks started to seep maroon. The girl didn’t seem to care at all.

“We good here?” he asked slowly. She wandered off to a table without responding.

Jarrod watched her, unsure if he should mention her to Zach. If the girl was a regular, maybe he knew something about her, something that would account for her bizarre reaction to his hands. Normal customers didn’t get all wigged out when he handed them their change. But she didn’t act like a Sider, either.

Something familiar about her struck him. Something… The color drained from his face. Something Libby.

The girl reminded him of Libby. Jarrod moved aside as Zach rang up the next customer, studying the girl around a display of overpriced tea bags. Libby, who’d infiltrated their crew and betrayed them to Luke. She’d been able to kill Siders the same way Eden could, had killed James before they’d known what she was and taken out Adam on the roof.

Eden had turned Libby to ash in his arms. He knew this girl wasn’t her. Still, the first night Libby’d found their crew, when she’d been amping up the “cheerleader in distress” act—this girl looked like that, like she was in trouble. Except something in her eyes, that split lip, made him believe she wasn’t acting. She looked like she’d had a rough night. A rough year.

She looked like she needed help.

“Well, look who decided to grace us with her presence,” Zach said.

Jarrod’s attention whipped to the counter. Eden smirked at him from the other side, Az behind her.

“I told Zach I didn’t know if you’d be in today. Needed a caffeine fix, eh?”

Unless they’d found Gabe. He gave Eden a closer look. “Anything new?”

“You only left a little bit ago. Our lives aren’t that exciting.” Jarrod caught the sarcasm and rolled his eyes. “Think you can handle making me something?” Eden asked, changing the subject.

He turned to grab a cup, but Zach was already there.

“She’s easy. Always the same and she leaves a kick-ass tip,” Zach said, setting a large coffee cup in front of Eden. “Best kind of customer.” He leaned closer to Eden and wiped at her cheek with a gloved hand. She jerked away, her palm rising to her face. “Sorry, you had something black on you.”

She scooted back, into Az. “What was it?”

“A fuzz or something,” Zach said. He tilted his chin up at Az. “Want anything?”

He stared at the menu board for a second before shrugging. “I don’t know, surprise me.”

Jarrod couldn’t help but glance in the direction the girl had gone. “Nobody’ll make a decision today.”

From a table far back in the corner, the girl watched him. No. She focused slightly in front of him. On Eden. Jarrod nodded in the girl’s direction. “You know her?” he asked Eden.

Eden and Az turned. The girl didn’t look away.

Az slipped his arm around Eden’s waist. “She sure seems interested.”

Jarrod tapped the order into the cash register and grabbed the bill Eden held out. “I rang her out. She seemed bizarre,” he said as he made change.

“Like bizarre how, Jarrod?” Eden leaned on the counter, gauging his reaction.

Jarrod shrugged. “Jumpy around my hands.”

“You didn’t—” Eden paled, glancing down, and waved away her change, the motion a double meaning.

“Of course not,” Jarrod cut her off. He tilted his head at the girl. “But there’s something off about her.”

Eden turned to Az. “Any thoughts?” Jarrod heard what she’d really asked Az: Was it the Bound? The Fallen? He fought to keep the fear off his face. Zach knew nothing of Upstairs or Downstairs, any angels, and for now it was best that it stay that way. Az shook his head, and Jarrod released a breath he hadn’t realized he held.

“I’ll keep an eye on her,” Jarrod said. He grabbed a cup, filled it for Az, and handed it over.

“Let me know. Az and I are going to head to the Bronx.” Eden paused. “Kristen needs to know about Gabe. The truth. We can use her help looking for him.”

Jarrod followed her down the counter as she moved toward the door. If she was going to Kristen, Eden must be way more spent than she let on. “You want to wait until I get off?”

They hadn’t told Kristen about Gabe’s Fall. He wasn’t sure exactly what Eden
had
told her about what happened that morning. It hadn’t mattered to him. It wasn’t like Kristen was a friend of theirs.

Eden shook her head. “No, we’ve got it.” Before they went outside, Eden turned back. Even from the counter, Jarrod saw the way she hesitated before her eyes sparked with defiance. Whatever she was about to say, he wasn’t going to like it. “Az and I are going out later tonight. Just us.”

Jarrod grabbed a rag from the counter, swiped angrily. Their date night thing seemed an unnecessary chance, though he couldn’t really be too pissed since they all searched for Gabe every night. The problem was how exhausted Eden looked. She was pushing herself too hard. She’d done it before, when she’d been killing the Siders and the buildup of Touch had messed her up. Now she was testing her limits again. And like last time, it fell on Jarrod to play the asshole. “Shouldn’t you rest or something? I thought the point of telling Kristen was getting backup. You look like shit, Eden.”

Eden’s glare burned into him as Az strode back to the counter.

“Listen, don’t be like this,” Az said, his voice cool, low enough not to carry to Eden. “We’ve all been through hell, man. But that girl,” he pointed back to Eden, “deserves something happy. One night, Jarrod. She needs it. I need it.” Az shifted closer to be sure Jarrod caught his meaning.

Jarrod wiped down the espresso machine, focusing on it so he wouldn’t give away his anger. He didn’t trust Az. Not when at any moment he could snap. He’d seen what the Fallen could do. “If you’re having trouble not Falling, you should have told us.”

“And now I have.” Az stepped back from the counter. “We won’t be too late. We’ll both have phones.” He swung the door open for Eden.

“Jarrod!” Eden’s eyes flicked to the back of the coffee shop. “Be careful.”

When he turned, the strange girl raised a hand, her fingers twitching in a half wave. Jarrod didn’t look away until she faltered, going back to her coffee. Whatever trouble she was in, he didn’t want any part of it.

T
he last time Eden had ridden the train to Kristen’s, Gabe had been with her. They’d been going to Kristen for help getting Az back from Luke. She felt as hopeless now as she did then. At least this time, there would be no death. No Falling.

Eden tried to lose herself in the rhythm of the train, but the familiar guilt rolled over her. Now it was Az beside her, and Kristen would be the one devastated.

They’d lied to Kristen.

No
, Eden thought, I
lied to her
. Minutes after Luke had stumbled away that morning, Kristen had called. Eden hardly remembered the call, only the frantic tone of Kristen’s voice. Rapid-fire questions.
What happened? Did Az Fall?
Eden had done her best to get the details out as fast as possible, her attention on Jarrod, who had still been so broken, and Az, barely holding out against the Fall.
Didn’t Gabriel find you?
Kristen had asked. It was only then that Eden realized she’d left out everything about Gabe.
He wasn’t very pleased with me when he left. Because of you
, Kristen had said, something off in her voice. Eden had latched on to the idea.
He needs some time to cool down, Kristen. Give it a few days
.

One simple lie. She should have told Kristen what had really happened.
It’s all my fault
, Eden thought.
Gabe’s Fall, everything. All because of me
.

Eden’s gaze wandered to Az. Even the thought of the Fallen was enough to light fire to her rage at seeing him hurt, the terror of almost losing him. A light scar on his cheek was faded but still visible. The memory of the shears so close to his face, already glistening with his blood, fought to the forefront of her mind.
He’s still here
, she reassured herself.

She gave Az’s hand a squeeze.

“You okay?” he asked.

She nodded, then reconsidered. They’d made a pact. No secrets between them, no lies. “Actually, not really.”

“Too many people?”

“It’s not that,” she said. The mortals around her on the train weren’t as distracting as the Siders that still camped out on her stairs every morning. Without the constant excess Touch she absorbed at each Sider’s death, being in public wasn’t as tempting as she’d thought it’d be. The cold snap that had rolled in this morning had helped, since the mortals left little skin exposed.

Actually, she realized suddenly, she hadn’t spread Touch since passing it to Jarrod to help him heal after the rooftop. Her fingertips weren’t tingling, no itching burn pressing her to pass. She flashed back to the night of the rave, when she’d spread too much Touch and it’d made her sick. Maybe that had been the cause of her stomach pains last night.

The train squealed into the station. The urge to get off, to turn around and go home, almost overwhelmed her. Az’s arm came around her. His chin fell to the top of her head.

“I don’t know how we’re going to tell Kristen. She’s gonna blame me,” Eden said. She turned into Az’s shoulder so he wouldn’t see the hurt and guilt.

If she’d done better on the roof and gotten Az out of there before Gabe had shown up, things would have ended differently. Gabe’s sin, the one that had caused his Fall, had been taking a life. Hers.

Gabe had known Eden would turn into a Sider after her death. He’d sped up the process to keep her safe from Luke, and it had cost him everything.

“Gabe made his choices,” Az said. “He knew it was a mortal sin. He did it anyway.” He kept his gaze on the list of subway stops above them, the next one lit with a red light. “I think Kristen’s going to be more worried about finding him than blaming you.”

Eden had the distinct feeling Kristen wouldn’t be so civil once she knew she’d lost her best friend because of Eden. “Gabriel would want her to know, right? He’d want her to know he didn’t just leave?”

“Honestly? Gabe’s dangerous. I think we’re putting her in more danger telling her what happened.” Az wouldn’t look at her as the train’s brakes squealed. “I don’t know if we should be looking for him at all.”