A Tragic Heart (25 page)

They both start to calm down, but they still have evil looks in their eyes. I move in closer to Mason and pretend that I’m pushing him further away from Peyton, when in reality I slip my old wedding ring into his pocket. I’m tired of the fighting. I just want them both to get over it. That way, I can stop feeling guilty about causing the entire situation.

I grab Peyton’s arm, pull him out of the room, and walked him toward the door. I have to get him away from Mason, because judging from the looks in their eyes, they are going to kill each other. Peyton and I finally make it back to the car. We both angrily get
in and slam the doors, intentionally this time. Looks like I wasn’t moving out after all.

“You promised you would walk away!” I yell.

“I know, but he just pisses me off. I’m sorry. I’m usually good at keeping my promises,” he says in a very calm manner.

“I just wish you two would just work it out somehow. I hate seeing you guys fight; especially when it’s because of me,” I admit.

“It’s not because of you. It’s because Mason is being immature. He’s just a little hurt. He feels like it’s his fault; I know him. Maybe if I never told you that I loved you—”

“Then I would’ve told you that I loved you. And if I never did, then we wouldn’t be in the amazing place we are in today. Peyton, please don’t do that; don’t regret what we are,” I say.

“I’ll never regret what we are,” Peyton answers. He holds my hand with his right hand as he drives with his left. “I hope you don’t mind, but I have to go meet up with my band right now so we can play for Mitch. You can come, or I can drop you off at
our
place.”

He said
our
place. I’m afraid to ask if he means it or not, but I have to.

“
Our
place?” I ask, looking for confirmation.

“Yeah, I was too afraid to ask, so I thought maybe I should just tell you. Unless you want to keep your old place,” Peyton says, still holding my hand.

“No, I like the sound of
our
house,” I inform him. “And by the way, I’m coming with you; I told you I would be at every band session.”

“Okay, if that’s what you want,” he says with a beautiful smile painted on his face.

The bar was empty since it wasn’t officially open yet. This is the place where Peyton and his band practice, and they also play gigs here fairly often. Mitch, Jackson, and his band are here already. I kiss Peyton before he and his band set up to play for Mitch. I can’t help but watch Adalyn and Peyton together. Some part of me is still bothered that they are so close after being madly in love at one time. I believe that Peyton will remain faithful, I’m just not sure if he was being truthful when he said he does not having any feelings left for her. There has to be something there; I mean I do still
have feelings for Mason. Or maybe that’s just me. Maybe Peyton honestly doesn’t have any of
those
feelings toward her anymore. She’s beautiful, and that intimidates me; and I’m not one who is easily intimidated. She has long, blonde hair, light-brown eyes, a gorgeous smile, and flawless skin. I’ve seen Adalyn a number of times, but this is the first time I realize how flawless she is. How could Peyton honestly love me more? How could he not have any feelings for her? I watch them both as they laugh and play around. I can still see the love she had for him in her eyes. I’m not too sure about him.

All this thinking is creating knots in my stomach; that is, until my thinking is interrupted by Matt sitting next to me. “Hey,” he says.

“What’s going on?” I ask, glancing at him.

“Nothing much, just getting ready to head back to New York tomorrow evening. I always miss this place when I leave,” he says, staring straight ahead at Peyton and his band.

Matt looks adorable, sitting with the front of his body facing the back of the chair. He has short, dirty-blond hair, and bright blue eyes. His eyes always reminded me of the ocean—clear and hypnotizing.

“Weren’t you married to Mason?” Matt asks me.

We’d caught up on a few things the other night, but I never went into the divorce.

“Yeah,” I answer.

“When did you guys split…well, divorce? If you don’t mind me asking,” he quickly adds.

“Well, I actually just signed the papers today, so in sixty days we’ll officially be over. And to answer the question you really wanted to ask me, Peyton and I have been together for basically two months now. The marriage was complicated, and in the end, I fell in love with Mason’s cousin, who was also my best friend at the time,” I confess to Matt.

“Peyton and Mason are cousins? How come I never heard of this?” he asks.

“I don’t know. I thought everyone who was from this town knew that. I guess it was just you and Jackson,” I say nonchalantly.

“So, uh, can you tell that they’re cousins?” Matt asks in a tone that I couldn’t interpret.

“What do you mean?” I ask, confused by his question.

“You know…are they about the same…when you guys—”

I interrupt him before he can finish. “I am so not answering that question, Matthew Dobson,” I say, holding in my laugh.

“You know, I always thought I would be your first,” Matt confesses.

This made me a little uncomfortable. I’m unsure what to say. “Matt, what were your true feelings toward me? I know you liked me, and we were really close before you left, but how much did you like me, exactly?”

“You mean, did I love you?” he asks, being straightforward.

“Yeah.”

“I did. And sometimes I think I still do,” Matt finally admits.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask, wondering why this all had to come out now.

“Because I didn’t know if you felt the same. I didn’t know if it would scare you away or not. I was going to tell you when I came back from tour, but you already found Mason. It was too late for me. But I guess it’s all better now. Life is just messy. Besides, you can’t change the past; you can just remember it and remind yourself to never make the same mistake twice,” Matt says, looking deeply into my green eyes.

I have to look away because I don’t want him to reach my soul. “Do you have anyone now?” I ask, hoping that Matt isn’t lonely.

“Like a girlfriend? No, but I’m okay with that for now. I’ll find the girl for me, just like you found the guy for you.”

“Yeah, but it took me a marriage, adultery, and a divorce to find him,” I say, not flattered by my situation.

“But you still found him. What’s worse: staying in a marriage, knowing your husband isn’t your knight in shining armor, or getting a divorce because you found it all in Prince Charming?”

He’s right. My situation isn’t as bad as it seems.

“All that matters, Tay, is that you’re happy,” Matt says. He gives me that cute smirk that won me over in the first place.

“We should continue being friends. You’re a great person to talk to, and I just realized how much I missed you,” I proclaim to Matt.

“I’d like that. Can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah, sure, anything,” I answer.

“Did you ever love me?”

I’d just told Peyton that Matt would never know that I loved him. It’s true that we should never say never, because I have no choice now but to be honest with him. “Yeah, I did. I just didn’t want to tell you first because you were older and I didn’t think you’d take me seriously. But I did love you and I missed you like hell when you left me. But, like you said, we can’t change the past.”

It feels great to be honest with Matt and to laugh and talk with him like I once did.

Peyton’s band plays three original songs for Mitch, and I think he loves each one more than the last. The band agrees to sign Mitch on as their manager. I’m glad to say that I witnessed life dreams come true for two people who are very important to me. Peyton is on his way. I still haven’t figured out my dream yet, but somehow, I’m okay with that.

***

“Hey Jackson!” I shout as he gets ready to leave the bar.

He stops in his tracks and turns around. “Yeah, what’s up, Tay?”

“How would you like an apartment to come home to whenever you’re in Arizona? That way, you won’t have to stay at Henry and Eva’s house,” I say, ready to bribe him into taking my apartment from me.

“What are you talking about, Taylor?” Jackson says, noticing my trick.

“Mason gave me the apartment, but I don’t want it for a number of reasons—one being that I can’t afford it right now. So I think it would be best if you took it,” I say, getting straight to the point.

“How much do I have to pay you for it?”

“Well, you wouldn’t pay me anything,” I say. “It’ll be like I own it, my name will stay on all the documents but you’d just live there and pay the monthly bill,” I say hoping he’d agree.

“No, I’ll buy it from you legally and pay the bill, and you can stay whenever you feel the need to. I’ll give you the key and all,” Jackson negotiates.

“Deal,” I say, holding my hand out to shake his. I would be a fool to turn down a deal that sweet. It’s a good thing I didn’t move out like I originally planned.

“And just to let you know, I’m throwing away all the furniture and burning the bed. I can only imagine what went on there,” he says, giving me a suspicious look.

“Whatever, Jack. I have to go now, since Peyton is waiting for me in the car,” I say. Then I give him a hug good-bye.

I always hate saying good-bye to Jackson; it always feels like the last time I’ll ever see him, although I know that’s not true. But he is leaving tomorrow, and with his new, rich-and-famous life, there’s no telling when he’ll be back. I blow him a kiss. It’s cliché, I’ll admit, but it is
us,
and that’s all that matters.

I run to Peyton and jump into his arms. I kiss him on the lips and congratulate him. I’m happy for both Peyton and Jackson. They are doing what most people forget to do: they are following their dreams, no matter what the circumstances are. In today’s world, that’s rare.

“Let’s celebrate tonight! We can go out and then go back to
our
home and get drunk and pass out, holding each other,” I say, smiling and wrapping my arms around Peyton’s neck.

“First of all, you’ve never been drunk. And second of all, I don’t want to go out. I want to cook for you, and then we can get drunk and pass out holding each other,” Peyton says, correcting my version of the perfect night.

“You never told me you could cook!” I exclaim, giving him a mistrustful look.

“Well, I can, and now you know. I’m going to take you home and then I’m going to go shopping to make you dinner, which will probably take a little while, so I hope you’re patient,” he says, walking me to the passenger side of the car.

“What are you going to make?” I ask, getting into his Porsche.

I’ve been told that his mom put loads of money away for different occasions. She wanted Peyton to have the car of his choice,
emergency spending money just in case she wasn’t able to be there for him, and of course, college money. I guess being a surgeon paid very well. Or maybe she really loved her son and wanted nothing but the best for him. I’m thinking it was a little bit of both.

“It’s a surprise,” he says, “so don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of everything tonight.” Peyton slides in behind the wheel.

“Why are you doing this for me?” I ask, confused about his motives.

“Because you deserve it,” he answers simply, putting the key in the ignition.

“But you’re the one with the great news; you’re the one who deserves it. I did nothing,” I say, staring at him as he pulls away from the curb.

“You did everything. You’ve been here for me the entire time. So with all due respect, you deserve it. You sat back and watched my dreams come true; you watched Jackson’s dreams come true and you survived a failed marriage, all before you reached your eighteenth birthday. So as far as I’m concerned, you deserve it. You don’t give yourself enough credit, Taylor Caldwell,” he says, taking his eyes off the road to glance at me.

“Well…if you insist, then I guess I have no choice,” I say, staring out the window.

An overwhelming silence fills the car, but it isn’t a bad thing. I take the time to admire the boy sitting next to me. He is truly beautiful. His features are soft, yet manly enough to attract any female. Most girls shriek in horror at the thought of a guy with red hair, but for Peyton, it doesn’t matter. He’s able to attract anyone he wants. Even in school, everyone agreed that he was irresistible, red hair and all.

“You know, most girls would jump at the chance to get pampered for a day by their boyfriends,” he says.

“Well, I’m not most girls,” I say blandly.

“And thank God for that!”

When we arrive home, Peyton gives me the key to the apartment and tells me not to go anywhere, or else he’ll be stranded. He has to get another key made, pronto. I reach the eleventh floor and notice that our door is already open. I remember Peyton locking it
before we left; he always locks his doors. I decide to be fearless and walk toward the door anyway. Thankfully, it isn’t anyone dangerous, it’s just Mason.
I hope he isn’t dangerous
.

“What are you doing here? How did you get in?” I ask.

“Don’t worry. I’m not here to crash your boyfriend’s apartment. I just came back to return the emergency key he gave to me when he first moved in. I won’t be needing it anymore,” he says angrily, crumpling a piece of paper that must be a note to Peyton, explaining the key.

“Mason, keep it. You’re going to need it someday soon—you know that, I know that, and even Peyton knows that,” I tell him, my arms crossed.

“Taylor, I wish you would just get out of that fairy tale that you live in. Peyton and I are done
for good
. He can’t help me, and I can’t help him in any way. Besides, you probably need this now,” Mason said, handing me the key.

“No.” I refuse to take it. “Peyton will just get another one made for me. You keep that one. You and Peyton are far from over. Neither one of you is dead and neither one of you is dying on me any time soon, so therefore you still need it,” I say with my arms still crossed.

“Well, Peyton is dead to me. Our friendship died the night he decided to go to bed with you. So basically, Peyton is already dead.” He slams the key down on the table in the living room.