Another wave of heat rushed over me and I could feel my cheeks getting redder as I stood there. Thoughts and questions raced through my head. Had he always been that attractive? Did he look that amazing yesterday? What in the hell was going on with me?
“Cami, did you need something?” he asked again, this time with a worried expression.
“My face,” I started then collected my thoughts a little. “I don’t think I had enough sunscreen on and my face got a little burnt. Do you have any aloe?”
He smiled, “I noticed that. That’s why I suggested we come in. I didn’t want you to get too crispy.” He laughed, “Come on. I’ve got some in here somewhere.” He turned back and disappeared into his room.
I didn’t move. I couldn’t move. Something weird was happening to me. Earlier, when we’d almost kissed, I could actually feel the two halves of me fighting against each other. I could feel my body wanting one thing and my head telling me to do the opposite. I stood in the hall, waiting to feel that fight. But it never happened.
“Cami?” he shouted back at me.
Hearing him say my name made my feet come alive. I started walking and soon found myself standing in his bedroom. He was knelt down over his suitcase looking for the aloe he had offered me. I sat down on the bed and watched him, surveying his body. Yesterday, when I’d asked him about the scars, I had wanted to ask him if he had any others. I searched him over, looking for any evidence of more scars. I couldn’t see any, but I had a feeling that there were more.
“Nick?” I asked quietly and kept my eyes on his back.
He was still rummaging around in his suitcase. He didn’t turn around when he answered, “Yes?”
“Do you have any other scars?” my voice was still soft.
His hands stopped and the muscles in his neck stiffened, but he still didn’t turn around to face me. After a deep breath, he stood up and walked over to the bed. He sat next to me and turned his body to face mine.
“I have one on my head from the time I wiped out and knocked it on my board,” he said as he squeezed aloe into one hand. With his other hand, he scooped a dab of aloe and gently applied it to my face.
I watched him as he spread the aloe across my face. He kept his eyes on his own hands as he gently rubbed the cold, soothing aloe into my heated skin. For one brief second, he looked up and we locked eyes.
“That’s not the type of scar you meant, was it?” he asked with the hint of a smile.
I shook my head lightly, not taking my eyes off him.
He sighed, “I only have one other scar.”
“Where is it?”
He averted his eyes and resumed applying the aloe to me. “It’s in a much more private and sensitive area than the others.”
I felt my brow furrow as I tried to think it through. When I’d figured it out, I knew my cheeks flushed. “Oh,” I uttered. Outrage quickly took over for embarrassment. “Why would he do that to you?”
He smirked, “I told you he was an abusive asshole.” He looked at me, “Also, he caught me looking at his skin mags.” He smiled, trying to lighten the mood.
I smiled in return. “And that didn’t turn you off of big-breasted women for life?
He laughed, “You’d think it would have.”
“What do you tell your women when they ask you about the scars?”
“My women?” he laughed. “You make me sound so cheap when you say it like that!”
“Sorry, I couldn’t think of a better word to use.” I smiled apologetically.
He nodded in acceptance, “They don’t usually ask.” He shrugged, “The few who have were satisfied when I told them they were just chicken pox scars.”
“So you lied to them?”
He nodded.
“Why didn’t you just lie to me?”
He dropped his hands from my face, and looked into my eyes. “It was never an option.”
I titled my head and asked, “What does that mean?”
He shrugged, “I’m not sure why, but I just never thought of not telling you the truth.”
We looked at each other for a few seconds, neither of us sure what to say or do next. The house was so quiet and still that the sound of our breathing seemed amplified.
“Cami,” Nick said softly without looking away from me.
I waited for him to continue, but he never did. After a few seconds, he shook his head, muttered something under his breath, and stood up.
“I need to get the rest of this stuff off my hands. I’ll meet you downstairs in a little bit.” He left the room, leaving me alone on his bed. I heard the door to the bathroom shut and the water turn on.
Something else was on his mind, but he’d stopped himself from saying it. Thinking that it was probably better not to tempt fate any longer, I left his room and headed back down to the kitchen. After five minutes or so, Nick joined me and sat across from me at the table. Neither of us spoke while we ate the leftover meals we’d made for ourselves. A few times, we’d made eye contact, but it was always followed by a nervous or awkward smile.
When he was finished with his food, he carried his plate back to the kitchen. Perhaps feeling bolder with distance between us, he called out a question to me.
“Do you want to finish watching that movie from the other night?” he called out as he rinsed his plate.
I was definitely not ready for bed. It was too early for bed, not to mention that the encounter with Nick in his room had left me too amped up for sleep.
“Sure,” I answered. I took my own plate to the kitchen. Nick was still standing near the sink and my arm brushed against him as I placed my plate in the sink. When my skin touched his, every nerve in my body seemed to light on fire. I inhaled sharply and heard him do the same. He quickly slid to the side and put distance between us.
“I’ll go get the movie started.” He mumbled in a rough voice and left me alone in the kitchen.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I wasn’t sure when it had happened, but at some point in the day things between us had changed. The easiness we’d had the past few days had been replaced with an awkward tension. Any time his body made contact with mine, my nerves went crazy. The battle I’d been having with myself was shifting. My head was no longer fighting as hard as it had before. My physical reactions and needs were making stronger arguments than my head.
After a few deep breaths, and a slow walk to the living room, I joined Nick on the couch. I was careful to choose the furthest cushion from him. He flashed an awkward smile as I sat then turned the movie on. I pulled my feet up onto the couch and wrapped my arms around my legs, keeping myself as secure as possible. The movie started where we’d left off, and I settled into my safe corner of the couch.
Twenty minutes later, my legs were starting to cramp up from the awkward position I’d put myself in. I unwrapped my arms, released my grip on my legs, and unfolded myself. Feeling slightly more relaxed, I let my head rest against the arm of the couch and stared at the screen.
Another ten minutes into the movie and I found myself feeling uncomfortable again. However, this time it had nothing to do with how I was sitting. The tension between Nick and I was almost visible as we both worked to look as unaffected as possible by what was happening on the screen. When he’d suggested the movie, I thought we’d be safe from any awkwardness since I’d chosen an action flick. Unfortunately, I’d forgotten about the graphic sex scene.
The sound of the character’s heavy breathing, moans, and the sight of their writhing bodies made for a very uncomfortable few minutes on the couch in the beach house. I didn’t dare look over at Nick, though I could feel his eyes wandering over to me a few times. He cleared his throat and exhaled loudly.
“Heard anything from Chrissy this evening?” he asked, obviously trying to alleviate the tension.
Hearing his voice made my heart start to race. I closed my eyes, trying to steady myself.
“She sent me a text earlier saying that she was hanging out with Todd and Mike tonight.”
Nick cleared his throat again and said with a nod, “Darren sent me a message, too. He said he’d found a friend and he’d most likely see me in the morning.”
I nodded, but didn’t look over at him. Clearly, we were going to be alone in the house all night. Instead of releasing some of the tension between us, the conversation had actually made the tension thicker. The thought of being completely alone with him was sending my pulse racing again. The battle was clearly not turning back in favor of my mind.
When the movie was finally over, I stood up and stretched. “Well, I suppose I’m off to bed now. I had a nice day with you, again.” I risked a look at him and flashed an awkward smile at him.
He stood up and took a step closer to me.
“Cami,” he said with a wild look in his eyes. “If you lived in LA, or if I lived in New York, would tonight be ending differently?”
I looked into his eyes. I could tell he was breathing harder, but I couldn’t take my eyes off him. With a deep sigh, I answered him.
“Probably.”
We stood staring at each other for several seconds before I broke away. I left him standing in the living room and started up the stairs. I didn’t stop moving, but I did look back at him a few times. Each time, he was still standing in the same place. He had his eyes closed and he was taking slow, deep breaths.
When I got to my room, I fell down across my bed. It felt like my heart had been racing for the last hour. Just being near him had been enough to make my body react physically. Something had definitely changed. There was no longer a voice in my head telling me not to give in. The voice had gone silent. Instead of shouting at me to be reasonable, it was silent. My body wasn’t shouting at me, but it certainly had something to say. It was in total control as I stood up from the bed and reached for the door.
I thought he’d still be in the living room, standing where I’d left him, maybe even with his eyes still closed and breathing deeply. I don’t know what I thought I’d say to him when I got back down there, but I expected to find him there.
I didn’t expect to see him standing just outside my door when I pulled it open.
“Nick!” I said his name loudly. “What…what are you doing out here?”
He shook his head, “Trying to fight the urge to knock on your door.”
“Why?” I asked in a whisper.
He shook his head again, “I don’t know what I thought I was going to say, Cami. I just know that you make me feel things that I didn’t expect. I don’t know if I know what it means, but I just feel like there’s so much more that we need to say to each other.”
Suddenly feeling braver than I’d ever felt before, I took a step closer to him. I smiled, “I meant why are you trying to fight it?”
It only took him one step to reach me. He reached for me and pulled my face to his in one swift movement. Our bodies melted together as his mouth found mine. My arms wrapped around him and held him tighter to me.