A Weekend Getaway (18 page)

“Sounds like you had a good dad.”

“He was. Especially when he was younger. Before. . . .”

She understood why he didn’t finish the sentence. He meant
before the Huntington’s.

Once she’d felt close to her dad, too. When she started
dating and watching rated R movies, he seemed prickly and judgmental. She
hadn’t rebelled as much as some preacher’s kids did; she’d never done drugs or
skipped curfew, but simply making out with a boy was considered sinful by her
father. Then the pregnancy caused her to pull away from him completely.

Parker glanced over at her. “What about you? What did you
care about when you were a teenager?”

“Fitting in with the popular clique. Fitting into my jeans.”

“It’s not easy, is it?”

“What?”

“Being a girl. Trying to look like the models you see in
magazines.”

She shrugged. “Since when did you get in touch with your
feminine side?”

“I guess I learned how hard it is by being married to Ivy.
She won’t let herself eat red meat or carbs or processed sugar.” He sighed.
“Sometimes you have to live a little, you know?”

“I guess. But everyone judges you. If you eat whatever you
like and you’re female, then it’s like you disappear off the radar. Men don’t
look at you.”

He waited a beat then spoke softly. “Like the way I treated
you in college.”

She let his words ping around inside her head. It was such a
broad statement—not quite an apology. Was he sorry for being superficial
and not asking her out on a date? Was he sorry for using her body to help him
deal with Ivy’s cruel words? Was he sorry for not even caring enough after
their tryst, to talk her through things?

She gathered her thoughts. For so long, she’d wanted to have
a real conversation with him. “It was probably awkward for you. I had such a
huge crush on you.”

He looked at her. “And I was so full of hormones, I was a
jerk.”

“You weren’t a jerk. Except, I guess, the morning after
we.
. . you know.” She’d awoken in his brass bed, the
sunlight streaming in through the balcony window, thinking all of her wishes
had finally come true. Only to find a note. “Dear Beth, Had some stuff to do.
See you around.”

“You have it memorized? How awful of me. I didn’t remember
exactly what I wrote, but that’s cold.”

She nodded. “Yes, it was.”

Another long pause hovered between them. “That’s still no
excuse for what you did.” Even though he watched the traffic ahead of him, his
thoughts seemed elsewhere.

Just like that, a barrier stood between them. She swallowed.
“I knew you and Ivy were on again off again. I’d hoped that night meant
something to you the way it did to me.” Oh, God. Why did she just admit that?
Had sixteen years of him choosing Ivy not been answer enough? “When it was
obvious you wanted to pretend it never happened, I realized I was on my own.”

He checked his blind spot and pulled into the left lane. He
accelerated past the Volvo that had been in front of them. “It did mean
something. I just couldn’t deal with it. My relationship with Ivy was like an
addiction. It didn’t make sense.”

She clasped her hands together tightly. Sleeping with her
had actually meant something to him. All of these years and she’d never known
that. She’d felt used by him, but she’d willingly allowed him to use her.
Anything to get close to him. She’d been secretly addicted to him, too.

His cell phone rang and he didn’t hesitate to answer. He
talked business with the caller. She looked at the center console that must’ve
had twenty buttons on it. Almost like something on the Star Ship Enterprise.

When Parker hung up his phone, it rang again. This time he spoke
in short sentences, as if he didn’t want to explain where he was going or when
he’d be back. His tone changed. Less professional, more emotional.

That was probably Ivy. She still had him. After he ended the
call, Beth looked at him. “How are things with your wife?”

His forehead wrinkled. “Over.”

“What do you mean?”

 
“None of your
business.”

Her spine stiffened. “I didn’t mean to pry.” She faced the
side window, watching the snowy drifts forming like dunes.

He sighed. “I caught her cheating on me. I always suspected,
but tried to deny it. When I found her piano player buck naked in our bed, I
decided that’s it.”

So Ivy had probably slept with that guy at the reunion, too.
“Are you getting a divorce?”

“I don’t know if it’s worth the hassle. I’m dying after
all.”

She swallowed hard. How could this handsome,
thirty-something be sick? “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. Only apologize for things that are
your fault. I think that’s one of the differences between men and women. When I
say I’m sorry, it’s because I screwed up.”

Pondering that, she watched the snow covered cornfields whiz
by the SUV. She did tend to apologize just to make other people feel better.
That was her job after all.
I’m sorry,
Mrs.
Klem
, that we sent you the wrong vitamins. Mr.
Stover, I’m sorry your package hasn’t arrived yet—must be a delay with
the mail. I’m sorry you’re never going to order from us again, Miss Peck, but
what if I threw in a three months’ supply for free?

Parker cleared his throat. His face relaxed. “Let’s not
waste our time talking about Ivy. I’d rather think about where we’re going.”

Her heart pitter-pattered inside her chest. “Me, too.”

CHAPTER
SIXTEEN

Beth jumped back into the passenger’s seat and held her icy
hands in front of the heating vents. “They have one room left, but it only has
a double bed.”

Long after the moon had replaced the sun in the sky, Parker
had asked her to call four-star hotels about vacancies. After thirty minutes, they’d
been forced to consider cheap motels, like this one. “Take it. I’ll sleep on
the couch.”

“Are you sure?” He nodded and she ran back to see the clerk.

Stepping inside their room fifteen minutes later, she
noticed prints of Elvis and Graceland decorating the walls. She knew she should
visit the exercise room after sitting in the car all day, but she felt wiped
out. “Do you mind if I change first?”

“Go ahead. I’ll check the closet for an extra blanket.”

In the dinky bathroom with one burned out bulb, she brushed
her teeth and slipped into her flannel nightshirt. When she opened the door,
she quickly dove for the bed and covered herself with the comforter so he
wouldn’t see her bare legs. Hiding her body had become
a
 
habit
.

A few minutes later, dressed in sweatpants and a red and
white Hoosiers T-shirt, he emerged from the bathroom. He grabbed a pillow off
the bed and tossed it on the paisley couch. More awkward silence hovered
between them. “Good night.” He turned off the light and made his way to his
spot in the dark.

The wall unit heater clicked and hummed, but the room
remained chilly. Beth snuggled under the thin bedspread. “Did you find a
blanket?”

“No. I’ll be fine, though.” The springs squeaked, telling of
his struggle to find a comfortable position.

A streetlight forced its beam through the gap in the
curtains. She sat up and looked at Parker. His silhouetted feet hung over the
edge of the sofa. “This is silly. I can share.”

“I’m okay here.”

“Seriously. We’re grown ups. Come over here.” She flipped
down the covers on the empty side of the bed.

He hesitated. “What about your boyfriend? Won’t he mind?”

“What he wants no longer matters to me.” The announcement
surprised even her.

Parker sat up and cocked his head. “Well, if you’re sure. I
don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

She waved him over. He gingerly slipped onto the far side of
the mattress. She put her back toward his. Less than a foot of space separated
them.

All keyed up about meeting Hannah, Beth couldn’t fall
asleep. She listened to Parker breathe. The intimacy of this moment confused
her. She needed approval--especially after Drew’s rejection and the potential
rejection from Hannah. She needed someone to accept her for who she was. But
just today Parker had said she had no excuse for what she’d done. She grinded
her teeth just thinking about it.

He turned over. “I’m so excited about tomorrow, I can’t
relax.”

Her jaw loosened. She faced him and whispered, “Me, too.”

“Want to talk about what happened between you and your
boyfriend?”

She blinked her eyelids, trying to focus. His face remained
shadowy. She decided to keep it vague, not wanting to blather on about longing
to marry and start a family. “A lot of issues have been adding up for a while.”

“It’s hard when you realize it’s time to end things.” His
voice signaled understanding.

“If I did call it quits, it would be the first time in my
life I’ve been the one to break up with the guy. I’m used to being the one
dumped.” She laughed at herself. “That’s what happens when you’re fat.”

“You’re not overweight anymore.”

“But I still feel like the fat girl. Inside.” Their faces
were only inches apart. He didn’t act like the enemy at all. God, she was so
mixed up, she actually wanted him to kiss her.

Of course he didn’t. He kept talking instead. “You’ve
seriously never dumped anyone?”

“No. There haven’t been that many relationships to begin
with.”

“How many boyfriends have you had?”

She swallowed her embarrassment. “Define boyfriend.”

He laughed. “You know. Someone you dated, kissed, slept
with.”

She’d dated five guys. Kissed six, if you counted Timmy in
fourth grade. Only slept with two. After an unwanted pregnancy right out of the
gate, she hadn’t been quick to jump into bed with anyone. “If you require all
three of those things, then Drew’s the only boyfriend I’ve ever had.”

“What?” He propped his head up with his bent elbow. “I’m
supposed to believe you’re in your thirties and only had one boyfriend?”

“I dated one guy in high school, but we
never.
. . you know.”

“What about college? Everyone sleeps around in college. I
did until I met Ivy.”

She didn’t answer. Ivy always seemed to come between them.

He studied her. “Come on. How many guys have you been with?”

“Only two.”

“Two? Bullshit.”

Her face warmed. He’d figure it out soon.

“Wait a minute. You’re living with a guy now. I’m assuming
you two have sex.”

She nodded. “Of course.”

“And you and I had sex.”

“Uh-huh.”

“That’s two.”

She inhaled deeply. She wanted to hide her face under the
sheet. “That’s right, Sherlock.”

“You’re telling me you didn’t sow your wild oats in
college?”

“Nope.”

“So that time with
me.
. . you were
a virgin?”

The word still made her cringe. She closed her eyes. “You
were my first.” She dared to open her lids to witness his reaction.

He sat upright and put some distance between them. “I
thought you were just shy.”

“I was.” Her heart thudded. “But I was also clueless. My
parents actually pulled me out of health class in school when they covered sex
ed
.”

He covered his face with his hands. “Shit. I seriously took
advantage of you.”

She sat up so they were on the same level. “I wanted you to.”

He dropped his hands and studied her. “I don’t know what to
say. If I had known, I wouldn’t have. . . .”

She shrugged. “Now you know. Let’s talk about something
else. Tell me about your many conquests, Romeo.” They both chuckled.

“I’m kind of ashamed of it now. But back then, if a woman
wanted to throw herself at me, I didn’t see any reason to say no.”

“That’s called being male, I believe.” She teased, yet she
hated to think she’d been one of those women. Just another number. Should she
believe what he said in the car earlier? That with her, it was special?

He interrupted her thoughts. “Now I worry that it meant more
to them than it did to me.”

“Since you married Ivy, though, you haven’t been with
another woman?”

“I’ve been faithful, even though I suspected she wasn’t.” He
let out a breath. “I take wedding vows seriously.”

“Me, too.” The fact that he’d been with plenty of women
didn’t shock her. He was definitely a ten in a world filled with sixes and
sevens. “I told you about my first time. Now you tell me about yours.”

“That’s embarrassing.”

“I know. Tell me. It’s only fair.”

He cleared his throat and paused as if considering whether
to divulge his personal history or not. “Well, I’d had a crush on this woman
who lived in our neighborhood since I was fifteen. She was twenty-eight and had
the kind of body I’d only seen in Playboy. She was divorced and never had kids.
To an adolescent boy, she was a dream, but she was never anything but polite to
me. Until high school graduation.” He smiled at the memory.

“You’re telling me you were a virgin all through high
school?”

He nodded. “Anyway, she came to my graduation party and told
me she had left my present at her house. She told me to stop by after everyone
left. I walked over there and she answered the door in this black silk robe. I
blushed and looked at my feet, but she acted like it was no big deal. She took
my hand and pulled me inside. Said she’d had her eye on me for a while, but had
been waiting for me to grow into a man. Well, that day, I became a man.”

Beth didn’t know what to say. “Lucky you.”

“She taught me everything I know about pleasing a woman.”

Beth felt the heat flushing her cheeks and hoped he couldn’t
tell. He reached forward and brushed a loose strand of hair out of her eyes. At
his touch, a thrill zinged throughout her nerve endings.

His palm warmed her cheek. “We’d better get some sleep.” He
hesitated as if he wanted to say something more. “Good night.” Then he rolled
over and left her with goose bumps--even more keyed up than before.

# # #

The next morning, Parker woke to the sound of Beth taking a
shower. When she exited the bathroom, her naturally blonde hair shone and her
eyes seemed especially blue. He forced himself to look away. He rifled in his
suitcase for his clothes—jeans and a rugby shirt. When she passed by him,
she smelled fresh and citrus-y. Was that her shampoo or shower gel? Part of him
longed to find out. He distracted himself by searching for his socks. “Where do
you want to go for breakfast?”

“It doesn’t matter. I brought some diet granola bars.”

“Diet granola? That sounds horrible. When’s the last time
you ate a waffle?”

“I make Drew’s niece waffles sometimes, but I don’t allow
myself a taste.” She shrugged. “It’s been a long time.”

“Remember how I said sometimes you
gotta
live a little? You never know which is your last meal.” People didn’t
understand how to enjoy all of the simple pleasures. Why did it take a
diagnosis of Huntington’s or cancer to make a person savor every bite?

Her face grew somber. “I guess I couldn’t be held
responsible if you forced me.”

He reached for her wrist and gently twisted it behind her
back. “You’re coming with me, lady. Don’t try to resist.” He attempted to sound
like a gangster in a movie. Touching her soft skin sent electric jolts up his
arm and straight to his heart. He let go quickly.

She smiled at his antics. “I do love waffles.”

They asked in the hotel lobby for a place to eat. The clerk,
an elderly gentleman with a stooped back, didn’t hesitate. “It’s a little ways
into town and therefore most tourists miss it.”

After listening to the fairly simple directions, Parker
handed the man a generous tip. “Thanks. We don’t want to miss a thing.” He
looked at Beth and winked. “Right?” Shit. Why did he wink at her?

As they drove toward a small town eclipsed by Memphis, he realized
that Beth had been the only woman to ever pull away from him. Until the
Leadership Club reunion, it had been years since he’d tried to kiss anyone
besides Ivy. Before he’d settled down, though, one-hundred percent of his
advances had been welcomed.

He glanced over at her. She still had a few freckles
sprinkled across her nose. So cute. She didn’t look a day past twenty-five.

Catching him watching, she frowned. “What?”

He forced his eyes to focus on the two-lane road in front of
him. “Nothing.”

“You were staring at me. Why?” She flipped down the sun
visor to check herself in the mirror. “Is there something on my face?”

He laughed. “Yes.”

“Where? What is it?” Leaning closer to the mirror, she squinted.

“On your nose.”

“What? I don’t see it.” She brushed at her face.

“Your freckles.”

She pushed his shoulder playfully. “You had me worried.”

“Beth, you have nothing to worry about.” Silence surrounded
them. Had he done it again? Let down his guard? Big mistake. Just like climbing
into bed with her last night and talking about their sexual histories. Huge
mistake.

“I have tons of things to worry about. I’m about to meet the
baby I gave away years ago. Maybe she’ll hate me. Maybe she should.”

He didn’t offer her any comfort. Everything in his life
would’ve been so much better had he experienced fatherhood. His short life
would’ve meant something. It was still Beth’s fault. How could he ever forgive
her?

She took a deep breath. “Okay. I guess I deserve that. The
silent treatment. To be honest, back in college, I didn’t for one second think
that you’d want to hear you’d gotten me pregnant. All I knew was that if I kept
the baby when I was eighteen, then my whole life would be over. No more
college. No career. I was afraid I’d resent her.” She waited a beat before
finishing. “I assumed you’d feel the same way.” Pursing her lips, she stared
out the side window. “I guess I shouldn’t have assumed I knew what you wanted.”

He blinked quickly, trying to stay focused on the country
road. Finally she admitted that she’d been presumptuous. She’d made all of the
decisions, cutting him out of his own destiny. Worried his voice might crack,
he didn’t speak.

“If I had told you, what would you have done?”

Even though Hannah had basically asked the same thing, the
question still threw him. He’d been married. He’d hoped to build a family with
Ivy and a business with what was left of his inheritance. “I don’t know. I like
to think that I would’ve stepped up to the plate. But I can’t imagine that Ivy
would’ve wanted to raise someone else’s child.” Perhaps the baby would’ve saved
him from years in a lackluster marriage. Forced them to split earlier. “I
would’ve paid what I could in child support.”

She didn’t respond.

He paused a moment. “If you and I both agreed to adoption, I
would’ve liked to help select the parents.”

Tears shone in the corners of her eyes as words tiptoed out
of her mouth. “That would’ve been nice.”

He’d never seen Beth on the verge of crying before and it
softened his heart. “I would’ve wanted an open adoption, though. I would’ve
stayed involved as much as possible. And there’s no way I would’ve let some
family in Texas adopt her.” He was so distracted by his pain that he drove
right past the Sunnyside Diner. “Shit.” He turned around, parking on the
street.

“They lived in Indiana at the time,” she said as they
climbed out of his not-so-white SUV. Dirt and salt clung to the paint as a
reminder of the long road they’d taken to get here.