Read A Writer's Guide to Active Setting Online
Authors: Mary Buckham
As he walked along the damp sidewalks, [
Nice sensory detail, but by itself this could be any sidewalk in any city.
] his breath came out in a swirling mist, adding to the fog rolling in off the water. [
Now the reader knows there's a body of water nearby large enough to create the mist and damp.
] He tried to stay in the shadows, despite the fear that crept into his mind and curdled his stomach. Henry had never been out this late by himself. Though with the crowds of people that bustled up and down the avenues, he hardly felt alone. [
At this point we could be in a generic Setting except that we're deep into the story and know we're in Seattle. As a result, the sensory details anchor us into this character's experience of this part of Seattle at this time of night.
]
All the way down South King, [
Specific street name for those familiar with Seattle, placing the story near the area now called the International District.
] the street was awash in the stain of neon signs that defied the blackout restrictions. [
This key historical reference lets the reader know we're in World War II.
] Signs for bars and nightclubs reflected greens and reds in each puddle he jumped over. The occasional car would drive by, bathing the street in its dim blue headlights, [
Earlier in the story the reader was shown how car lights were muffled for the blackout so this reinforces that image.
] illuminating the men and women, Chinese and Caucasian, enjoying the nightlifeâdespite the rationing. [
Another reference to the time period.
]
Let's review the above passage for details that show the reader we're not in a contemporary worldâ
signs that defied the blackout restrictions
;
bathing the street in its dim blue headlights
;
despite the rationing
. If you visited this area of Seattle you'd experience a lot of the general Setting detailsâ
damp sidewalks
;
fog rolling in off the water
;
South King
;
street was awash in the stain of neon signs
. Threading historical references and specific details of the Setting through ordinary details brings the reader deeper into the period of the story. The reader is transitioned by what they know firsthandâsidewalks, fog, a specific street name in Seattleâto what they have not experienced directlyâblackout regulations, dimmed lights, and rationing.
Writers of fantasy, urban fantasy, sci-fi, steampunk, and paranormal often must introduce a whole new element of their world while keeping the forward momentum of the story line strong. Using Setting can help transition readers through a story, slowing the pacing to allow the reader to get a solid image of a new Setting, and then picking up the pace again as the story continues.
NOTE
: When first introduced into a new-world Setting in fantasy and SF stories, the reader is willing to slow down for the external events of the story just enough to be anchored into the new Setting. A few paragraphs or sentences are all that's needed. Not pages and pages of Setting details.
An example from an Ilona Andrews urban-fantasy series shows how she transitions the readers from one Setting of her story to a very different Setting. First, the reader is cued in to expect the Setting to change as the characters move from one realm to another:
The California of the Broken was a desert in parts, she reflected. The California of the Weird was all mountains, lakes, and lush greenery.
âIlona Andrews,
Fate's Edge
In this example, readers do not need to see specific lakes, types of trees, or shades of green. They only need to know they are moving out of one worldâ
the Broken
âinto anotherâ
the Weird
. The author starts with the normal details that the average reader is familiar with before transitioning to the specific details that show us how different the world of the Weird is:
Far ahead on the mountaintop, cushioned with the foliage of the Weird's old forests, a castle thrust into the sky. Tall, majestic turrets and flanking towers of white stone covered by conical roofs of bright turquoise green stretched upward, connected by a textured curtain wall. â¦
“It's like a fairy tale,” Audrey said.
âIlona Andrews,
Fate's Edge
Let's dissect how Andrews transitions the reader from one unusual world into another:
Far ahead on the mountaintop, [
A known image to the average reader.
] cushioned with the foliage of the Weird's old forests, [
A detail that shows this Setting is different. Many readers might have heard of old-growth forests, but unless the reader lives in an area where they still exist, they are unusual and unknown.
] a castle [
Most readers get a visual of this from TV and movies.
] thrust into the sky. Tall, majestic turrets and flanking towers of white stone covered by conical roofs of bright turquoise green stretched upward, [
The details anchor the reader into this particular castle.
] connected by a textured curtain wall. [
And we're back to an unknown image. But because so much of the description is easily seen, it's okayâit does not throw us out of the story.
]
“It's like a fairy tale,” Audrey said. [
Here the character says what the reader feels, which makes the visual real. Now we're transitioned to the world of the Weird.
]
NOTE
: Once the reader has a general sense of the place and period of a story, it can be helpful to reinforce that information with key specific details throughout your novel. Setting is one way to do this.
In the opening of your novel, the reader is willing to give you enough word allocation to let him enter the world of the story, but only for so long before something must happen. He picked up your mystery, romance, fantasy, or general fiction novel to get lost in the world of your story. He could have picked up a
National Geographic
if he wanted a travelogue to read, so keep that in mind as you are using Setting in your opening.
Let's look how historical writer Susan Vreeland pulls the reader deep into the world of the west coast of Vancouver Island in 1906. Readers might not know what all the words mean or where the specific Setting, but they are given enough detail to see how this POV character sees her Setting:
Salmonberry, 1906
Letting her cape snap in the wind, Emily gripped her carpetbag and wicker food hamper, and hiked up the beach, feasting her eyes on Hitats'uu spread wide beneath fine-spun vapor. Cedars elbowing firs and swinging the branches pushed against the village from behind. One wayward fir had fallen and lay uprooted with its foliage battered by waves and tangled in kelp. Wind whipped up a froth of sword fern sprouting in its bark. At last, she was right here, where trees had some get-up-and-go to them, where the ocean was wetter than mere water, where forest and sea crashed against each other with the Nootka pressed between them.
âSusan Vreeland,
The Forest Lover
Examining more closely, we can see how Vreeland anchors the reader deeply into the world of the story via Setting and sets up the relationship between the protagonist and her Setting. She also foreshadows the theme of the novel: one woman's love affair with the First Nations tribes and the coastal world of those tribes at the turn of the century:
Salmonberry, 1906 [
A device often found in historical, fantasy, science fiction, and thriller novels to clearly cue the reader into the where and when of the story.
]
Letting her cape snap in the wind, Emily gripped her carpetbag and wicker food hamper, [
Two small historical details that begin layering the time period. If she carried a backpack and thermos she'd clearly be in a later time period than 1906.
] and hiked up the beach, feasting her eyes on Hitats'uu [
At this point the reader has no reference to let them know what this word means, so the author makes sure it's clear in the next sentence.
] spread wide beneath fine-spun vapor. Cedars elbowing firs and swinging the branches pushed against the village [
Here we're informed Hitats'uu is a village.
] from behind. One wayward fir had fallen and lay uprooted with its foliage battered by waves and tangled in kelp. Wind whipped up a froth of sword fern sprouting in its bark. [
Look at the specific details she uses to paint this Setting versus the woods in South Georgia or Maineâcedars, fir, kelp, sword fern not on the ground but growing along the bark.
] At last, she was right here, where trees had some get-up-and-go to them, [
And here is the transition from just Setting to a clear sharing of what this particular character feels about this Setting.
] where the ocean was wetter than mere water, where forest and sea crashed against each other with the Nootka [
Tribe name which will be expanded upon in the story.
] pressed between them.
This one paragraph of detailed description brings this forest environment, and the protagonist's relationship to it, alive. The next paragraph contrasts where the POV character has lived prior to this time and how she feels about those locations. In the final paragraph on that page the author returns the reader to “west coast of Vancouver Island” so that it's clearer where this Setting is.
The next example comes from the opening of book six in a mystery series set in upstate New York, where the location is a vital element of the story. What's important to note in this passage is how quickly and seamlessly the author, Julia Spencer-Fleming, slides in enough Setting details to anchor the reader on the first page. There's a lot of action going on, so the Setting can't stop the forward momentum and the pacing, but without the Setting, the reader would be lost attempting to understand what's happening and where. There's also a nice contrast between the bucolic Setting and what's happening.
When she saw the glint of the revolver barrel through the broken glass in the window, Hadley Knox thought, I'm going to die for sixteen bucks an hour. Sixteen bucks an hour, medical and dental. She dove behind her squad car as the thing went off, a monstrous thunderclap that rolled on and on across green gold fields of hay.
The bullet smacked into the maple tree she had parked under with a meaty thud, showering her with wet, raw splinters. She could smell the stink of her own fear, a mixture of sweat trapped beneath her uniform and the bitter edge of cordite floating across the farmhouse yard.
The man shooting at her turned away from the porch shaded window and yelled something to someone screaming inside. Hadley wrenched the cruiser door open, banging the edge into the tree. She grabbed the mic. “Dispatch, Harlene! This bastard's shooting at me!”
âJulia Spencer-Fleming,
I Shall Not Want
Let's pull this opening apart to see how the Setting is made to work for the situation while not intruding on the action and tenseness of the passage.
When she saw the glint of the revolver barrel through the broken glass in the window, Hadley Knox thought, I'm going to die for sixteen bucks an hour. [
The passage opens with action: Her life's in danger and she's risking it for very little reward. The setting is a house with windows of broken glass and a weapon pointing at her, which ramps up the desperation of the situation. The emotion is in the internalization, but by layering in the Setting details, it's clearer the POV character is in a dangerous situation. If the house had been described as a split-level ranch or spit-and-polish townhouse, the tension would be decreased a little.
] Sixteen bucks an hour, medical and dental. [
Internalization.
] She dove behind her squad car as the thing went off, a monstrous thunderclap that rolled on and on across green gold fields of hay. [
Action and character information: She's law enforcement based on the vehicle. Setting: She's in the country, deep POV giving her personal association with what the sound means in contrast to the Setting. That detail of green gold fields of hay should have been a lovely image, but instead of hammering home the broken condition of the house, the author chose to contrast what should have been an idyllic landscape with what the character is dealing with. Plus the reader has a hint more understanding that this character might be isolated here, out in the country.
]
The bullet smacked into the maple tree she had parked under with a meaty thud, showering her with wet, raw splinters. [
Danger is rising: We know the shooter can reach her and her vehicle, which means he can shoot her if she tries to drive off. Senses: “Smacked with a meaty thud and showered wet splinters on her” pulls the reader deeper into the action via Setting, with a specific kind of tree for a stronger image.
] She could smell the stink of her own fear, a mixture of sweat trapped beneath her uniform and the bitter edge of cordite floating across the farmhouse yard. [
Nice emotional insight and a sensory detail that is added to the visual of a farmyard.
]
The man shooting at her turned away from the porch shaded window and yelled something to someone screaming inside. Hadley wrenched the cruiser door open, banging the edge into the tree. [
Action and a bit more Setting: We know she's trapped because she doesn't jump in the car and drive off.
] She grabbed the mic. “Dispatch, Harlene! This bastard's shooting at me!”
Now let's pull out all the Setting details that, if read alone, help anchor the reader just enough to where the character isâ
broken glass in the window, green gold fields of hay, maple tree, farmhouse yard, porch shaded window, banging the edge
(of the car door)
into the tree
. See? Not a lot of information is needed to identify this character's location. Given the situation, too many details would detract from the life-and-death situation this character is handling. As the sixth book in the series, with the fifth one ending on a cliffhanger, this book does not open like some of the earlier novels, with more description of the Adirondacks in New York State. Instead it opens in action, which raises a lot of story questions that have the reader turning that first page to find out what happens next.