Authors: Maya Stirling
Tags: #Romance, #historical 1800s
"Okay?" Aaron asked, pausing for a moment before putting some soup into his own plate.
Eva nodded quickly. "Sure."
She took up her spoon and took a sip of the soup. Unlike in previous days, the act of tasting the delicious liquid didn't immediately prompt a spasm of coughing.
Aaron took his seat and they both ate in silence for a while. Eva kept her eyes fixed on the plate, wondering what she could say next, asking herself what Aaron was going to say to her. Would he mention what had happened out by the brook? She supposed not, given that everything she'd learned about Aaron these past days told her that he was a gentleman. Which made what he'd done so surprising. It seemed so unlike the person she'd come to know. Was he more impulsive and spontaneous than she'd given him credit for? Was he more like Eva than she'd realized? Impulsive. Spirited. Restless.
"You seem so much better today," Aaron said eventually.
Eva nodded. "I guess all that sleep did me good. Turns out the doc was right. I just needed some time," she said.
"Sometimes all it takes is time for things to work themselves out," Aaron said.
Eva frowned. "Is that what you think?"
"Sure. It comes with the territory. Living out here, you just have to give things time to breath. You can't rush anything, especially living in a place like Montana. You should know that," he said.
Eva nodded. "I used to think that everything had to be done in a hurry. I was always in a rush to get things done as fast as possible," she said.
"I can confirm that," he said playfully. "You always have been a bundle of energy. I've seen grown men struggle to keep up with you on the ranch. Some of your ranch hands even came over to work for me. Told me you were a hard taskmaster. Or should that be mistress?"
Eva smiled. "You know how it is, Aaron. Ranching's a hard life. My father knew that. He bred it into me. Hard work was all that mattered," Eva said.
"All that mattered?" Aaron queried. His brows rose and his eyes fixed on Eva. He didn't look convinced.
Eva paused. They ate in silence for a while and then she took a final sip of soup, laying down her spoon on the empty plate.
She sighed, propped an elbow on the table and rested her chin on an upraised hand. "My father told me that everything could be fixed with hard work. But since he's been gone, I know that there's more to life than just effort and making a success of things," she admitted.
Aaron rested his elbows on the table and leaned forward. "Like what?"
Eva sighed. She wasn't sure she wanted to answer that. It meant bringing up things that might be best left untouched. But, when she looked across at Aaron and saw the sincere interest in his eyes, she knew she could trust him, knew that he would understand how life had taught her some harsh lessons on recent times.
"I guess that with my father passing I know what it feels like to be really alone," she said softly. Eva didn't feel any tears in her eyes, only that familiar hollow sensation that she'd felt so often in the last few days.
Eva was sure she could hear an almost inaudible sigh escape Aaron's lips.
"You're not alone, Eva," Aaron said. Eva felt something rise up inside her, a flush of expectation, even hope.
"Oh, I know I've got the ranch hands. They sure know how to keep me busy. I suppose they are company too," she said.
"That's not what I'm talking about," Aaron said.
Eva felt her eyes widen and she gazed across at Aaron.
Aaron lowered his head and looked down at the table, his brows furrowed deep in thought. There was a long pause and then he finally spoke. "You know we haven't spoken about what you asked me back at the ranch," Aaron said.
Eva shifted some loose hairs away from the side of her face and peered across the table at Aaron. Was he going to tell her what she wanted to hear? Did she even want to know the answer? Maybe life with Jude wouldn't be as bad as she thought it would be. After all, marriages of convenience happened all the time in these parts. Eva thought of Joshua and Laura. They had entered into a marriage in name only. It seemed to be working out for them.
But, Jude was no Joshua. That much was certain.
Eva gazed across at Aaron. And one thing was for sure. If she had to choose between spending her life with Aaron or Jude, the way she felt right now, there was only one answer she wanted to hear from the man sitting across from her.
***
Aaron was burning up inside. All he needed to do was tell Eva. He'd already made his mind up. Heck, there had been nothing to think of. The prospect of marrying Eva filled him with delight and anticipation.
But, had he ruined it all by that kiss by the brook? He hadn't been able to contain himself, and there was a part of him that truly regretted his hasty, impulsive action. However, one thing he'd learned in the short time he'd been sharing his home with Eva Gillespie, was that she had a way of bringing things out of him that he'd never known existed. And, today had been a perfect example. Looking at her sitting by his side at the brook, her pretty face smiling at him, her delightful figure calling for his attention, the scent of her intoxicating his sense, had just made him act. He'd needed to reach out and touch her face, place his lips on her own as gently as he could, claim her in a way that he'd never thought possible.
But, had he made the biggest mistake of his life? Did she think less of him now than before?
She was waiting for an answer, that was for sure. He looked across the table and felt something shift inside him when he saw the look in her eyes. Was she asking him something with those pretty eyes? He could gaze into those eyes all day and leave the ranch to run itself. That was how he felt right in this moment.
Aaron sighed and forced himself back to the present. "Maybe we need to talk, Eva," he said firmly.
Eva shifted in her seat, suddenly unsettled. Had she misunderstood his tone? Heck, he felt so nervous. He was about to say the most important thing he'd ever said in his life, and he didn't have the slightest idea how to get the words out right.
Aaron felt his throat tighten, and his mouth was suddenly inexplicably dry, even after eating the soup.
"What about, Aaron?" Eva asked. He was sure he heard her voice quiver and her face looked more pale than it had done moments before.
Aaron cleared his throat and frowned. "It has to do with your present situation," he said.
Eva nodded. Aaron saw her brows furrow and her fingers move nervously against the table.
"What about it?" Eva asked, sounding as if she was forcing out the words.
Aaron leaned back in his chair, extending an arm on the table. He needed to maintain an appearance of calm control. He knew that. But, how come his insides were churning the way they were?
"You recall the question you asked me back at the ranch," he said.
Eva nodded wordlessly. He could see she was putting as much effort into appearing calm as he was.
"Well. I've been thinking about that. In fact, I haven't been able to think about much else since you asked me," he said.
Aaron saw Eva's mouth crease slightly into the faintest of satisfied smiles.
"And, I know you've been waiting for me to give you an answer. That's only fair and right. But I was in a difficult position. The doc told me you needed time to recover. He even told me that any kind of shock might set you back. Make you sicker than you should be," Aaron said, wondering why the words weren't coming our right.
He saw Eva start to frown and her eyes narrowed. Aaron suddenly knew he had to press on, get to the point.
"Now, I do appreciate your difficult position. Jude is no kind of man for you. But, the situation with the lawyer and the will is mighty unusual, I'm sure you'd agree," he said.
Eva's eyes were even narrower now. A nervous flutter started in Aaron's stomach. It was a sensation he'd come to recognize when he was making a mess of things. And, that was how it felt right now.
"Don't get me wrong, Eva. I am mighty flattered that you considered me as your...husband," Aaron said forcing out the last word, but enjoying how it sounded once he had said it.
Eva's eyes were as narrow as her lips were tight. "I'm pleased you were flattered by my offer," she said. Her voice sounded tight and Aaron felt a knot of concern as he recognized a familiar look on Eva's face.
Aaron quickly reached a hand across the table, but Eva just as rapidly withdrew her hand.
"I had a word with Zack when he visited the other day. I mentioned about our situation and he said..."
Eva stiffened and her eyes widened. A flush of bright red colored her face. "You did what!"
"Zack knows your father's old lawyer. John McRae. He offered to help out. Get in touch. Check things out," Aaron said.
"What are you talking about, Aaron Stewart? Are you seriously telling me that you told one of your rancher friends that I'd asked you to marry me?"
Eva stood up quickly and the wooden chair made a harsh rasping sound as it slid across the floor.
"Eva. Let me explain," Aaron said reaching out a hand.
"What gave you the right to share that with one of your friends?" she demanded.
"Zack's more than a friend, Eva. He and I go way back," Aaron said.
"I'm sure you do," she answered. "What else have you shared about me?"
Aaron stood and started to move around the table, but Eva gave him a look that made him pause before going any nearer to her.
"Nothing else, Eva. Please, believe me. I've got faith in Zack. He's a good man. If anyone can help you out of this lawyer mess, he can," Aaron tried to explain.
"I don't need anyone to help me," Eva shouted. She took a step back and thrust her fists down by her side. "I can look after myself, Aaron Stewart. If you don't know that about me by now, then you don't know me at all," she yelled.
Aaron felt a rush of panic at the sight of Eva standing on the other side of the table. She was shaking, and her breathing was getting faster by the moment. She looked like she might pass out any time now. Aaron knew he had to stop that from happening.
"Eva, I'm sorry. You don't understand. I need to tell you something," he said.
"I don't want to hear it, Aaron," she said taking another step away from him and waving a dismissive hand. Every step she took away from Aaron made something tighten in his gut. He knew he didn't have much time. It was now or never.
"But, I have to give you my answer, Eva," Aaron insisted moving quickly to her, reaching out to take Eva's quivering hand.
Eva waved him away with a violence that took Aaron by surprise. "No! I will not listen. I'm going back to my ranch. Right now. I know where I'm needed. I'll sort that mess out myself," she declared.
Aaron took a final step closer. He almost managed to take her arm, hold her back from doing the one thing he didn't want her to do. Leave.
But, within an instant, Eva Gillespie whirled and with a noisy swish of her dress and firm steps of her boots on the wooden floor, she strode out of the dining room leaving Aaron standing there inhaling the swiftly vanishing scent of her perfume.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Only minutes later, upstairs in the bedroom, Eva threw the dress she had just taken off into the wardrobe and picked up the gown she had been wearing when they'd brought her to the ranch.
The day Aaron had rescued her.
She bit her lower lip as she shrugged herself into the dress. It had been cleaned, although a hint of smoke still clung to the fabric. It was the only thing she had brought to Aaron's ranch, and it would be the only thing she would take back to her own place.
Her own place. Or at least it would be, until she married Jude, and then it would belong to them both. That thought made her throat tighten, and she had to fight back the wave of emotion that rose up inside her chest.
Eva looked at the dresses Aaron had bought her. The contents of the boxes had been unpacked and hung in the wardrobe. It wouldn't matter any more. She would never be wearing of those outfits.
What had possessed her to ask Aaron to marry her? He'd made her wait, forced her to hold her tongue time and time again. She'd avoided demanding an answer she knew she had every right to expect. And now, downstairs in the dining room, he had shown her just how unsure he was of a life with her, how little he really thought of her. He hadn't even had the decency to come out and give her a straight answer. If he'd wanted her, he would have already told her so. Of that much Eva was absolutely sure.
Eva sat down on the bed and lowered her head down onto her knees, feeling a sob rise in her chest. Eva fought it back. She had been so sure he would say yes. Had even taken it for granted. Was that her fault? She'd always had an inkling that Aaron Stewart held a candle for her. But, she'd never had a chance to test him. Not until now. And he had shown her, in no uncertain terms, that all along she had been deluding herself. He was merely the rancher next door, the neighbour who could be counted on to argue over petty grievances. If she did end up with Jude then one thing was for sure. Aaron Stewart would always be a figure from her past. And only that.
Eva's sat for a while on the bed. Her mind raced with visions of the future. Her own future. And, she didn't like what she saw.
Eva heard the sound of a horse from the yard below. She stood and went to the window. She clutched a hand to her middle, and an involuntary cry emerged from her when she saw what was waiting for her below.
Aaron sat on the seat of a buckboard. He was holding the reins of the single horse hitched to it. He wasn't even looking up at her window. Instead he was staring determinedly ahead. It looked like nothing on earth would induce him to look up at her room.
Eva clutched her fists tight. He was already prepared to drive her back to her ranch. Aaron was going to take her personally back to her fate. Now that he had done what he so obviously felt obligated to do in taking care of his neighbour in trouble, he was simply delivering her to a future that he knew full well filled her with revulsion.
Eva turned and quickly left the room, slamming the door behind her. At the bottom of the stairs she met Mrs. Lang and Mrs. Bell. Both women looked pale and worried.