Authors: Maya Stirling
Tags: #Romance, #historical 1800s
Aaron's eyes locked on Eva's, peering deep into them, expectant.
Eva drew in a deep breath. Suddenly Aaron was sure that Eva was examining him, scrutinizing Aaron, trying to make sure that whatever it was she was about to say to him would be taken seriously.
"What is it, Eva?" Aaron asked. He felt a knot of anxiety twist in his middle. Finally he saw Eva nod, as if giving herself permission.
"Aaron. Would you consider becoming my husband?" she asked, speaking in an even tone of voice.
Aaron looked at Eva and knew that, no matter what answer he gave her, even if it was the one that came first to his mind, his life from this moment on would never be quite the same.
CHAPTER FIVE
There! She'd done it.
Eva had asked him the one question she'd never have thought in a million years she would ever ask any man, let alone Aaron Stewart. And, judging by the expression on his face, he'd been stunned by what she'd just said to him. The color had drained out of his face and made his always pleasing features look only a little less handsome.
Aaron didn't say anything at first. His posture had stiffened, his lips tightened and his brows furrowed. She could see confusion in his eyes. He looked like he was busy trying to make sense of what she'd said.
Eventually, after an interminable silence, he spoke. "Did you just ask me to marry you?" he asked quietly, his voice quivering slightly.
Eva paused and then nodded. "I guess I just did," she said softly trying to contain the surprising emotion in her voice.
Aaron's frown deepened, and she saw him begin to shake his head imperceptibly. "I thought you did," he said. "I just needed to check that I heard you right."
Eva sighed. "I'm sorry I was so blunt about it. There didn't seem any other way to say it," she said.
Aaron nodded. "I suppose there wasn't," he said. He peered deeply into Eva's eyes with a searching, probing look that made something tumble inside her."Are you being serious?" he asked after a long pause.
Eva nodded. "I am. Never been more serious about anything before," she admitted curtly.
Aaron nodded. "I can see that," he said. The way he was looking at her, Eva couldn't exactly tell how he was feeling about the proposal she'd just made to him. And that was what it had been, she realized with consternation. She'd just proposed marriage to Aaron Stewart! As if the day couldn't get any more astonishing and perplexing. Eva felt like there was a hidden force driving her toward a destiny which, before today, she would never have guessed even existed.
Until her father's recent illness she'd never had any doubt about what lay ahead in her future. There had been such a certainty and confidence inside her about how she would live out her life. But, today, all that conviction had been thrown away in a matter of a few hours. She no longer knew what her fate might be.
It looked like she had to make a choice between marriage to a man for whom she felt nothing but revulsion, or marriage to a man with whom she had a complex past that, frankly, she hadn't quite figured out yet. For a very long time Eva had felt vague and barely admitted feelings about Aaron Stewart. The two of them had bumped shoulders over the years. Sometimes it had been on friendly terms, and other times there had been frictions which Eva's father had always worked hard to resolve. Eva and Aaron had history, and it had never been simple.
Aaron looked at her intently and there was a clear, genuine expression of sincerity written on his features. "What do you expect me to say, Eva?" he asked softly.
Eva sighed. "I don't know Aaron. It's all as confusing to me as it is to you," she admitted.
A wry smile creased his mouth. "Boy, you sure know how to rattle a man," he said.
Eva clenched her fists. "Look. Forget what I just said. Forget the whole thing. It was a crazy thing for me to even suggest," she blurted out rapidly.
Aaron shook his head. "It wasn't crazy, Eva. It's just that it's so sudden," he said.
"I don't expect an answer from you today. Lord knows I've had more than enough to deal with."
Aaron frowned. "That's putting it mildly," he said. He sighed and bit on his lower lip. Although it was merely a demonstration that he was thinking deeply about her proposal, when she saw him do that, Eva found it strangely alluring and even vaguely unsettling. Now that she was so close to him, the moment so intense and intimate, the subject of their conversation so personal, his every gesture and movement seemed charged with meaning.
"Look, Eva. Are you sure this is what you want? Have you thought this through?"
Eva gasped. "Of course I haven't thought it through. How could I?" she admitted. "It's just that I don't seem to have an overwhelming number of options."
Aaron shook his head slowly. He didn't say anything for a very long time. Eva could feel her heart thudding inside her chest, and she was sure she could even feel the blood coursing around her veins. What was he going to say? Was he even going to give her an answer?
Eventually he spoke. "Can you give me some time to think about it? To say this has been a surprise is an understatement," he said.
Eva had the sudden feeling that he would refuse her, that there was no way on earth he would consider marriage to her, even if it meant he could save her from an unthinkably miserable life. She leaned across and took his hand in her own. Eva had never been one to beg and, even now, she wasn't going to make an exception to that rule. But, she had to be sure he knew how much this meant to her.
Eva squeezed Aaron's hand slightly. His eye widened and she was sure she saw his lips crease in approval, a smile that looked like he was struggling hard to hold in check. "Please, Aaron. Consider it carefully. I know I can't expect an immediate answer from you. But I know you understand why I'm suggesting it. I don't know what kind of marriage it would be," she said noticing his eyes darken, become more serious. "But at least we would have an... understanding. We have so much in common. The ranch life. Being brought up in Montana. And, we've known each other a long time."
Aaron nodded and placed his hand over Eva's. "We have known each other a while, haven't we?"
He paused for what seemed like an eternity. Then he spoke. "Give me some time to think it over, Eva. Can you do that?"
Aaron looked at Eva. She could see so many questions lurking in his intense gaze.
"I can understand if you need some time to think it over," she said.
Aaron's mouth creased into a smile and he nodded. "I promise I'll give you my answer. Maybe tomorrow. Okay?"
Eva nodded wordlessly. She'd said enough. The hole she'd fallen into today seemed to be getting deeper by the minute.
Eva worried she had gone too far in pleading with him. But, she was sure he understood the situation she was in. Although she was asking him to make one of the biggest sacrifices of his life, there was a part of her that harbored a lingering hope that Aaron Stewart would ultimately come to her aid. Given the circumstances, Eva felt there was something right about it, after all.
Eva stood and clasped her hands tightly. Her mother had drummed into her the importance of maintaining dignity, no matter what the circumstances. It was more important now than at any time she'd ever known.
Aaron stood up next to her. Until this moment she'd never been truly aware of how tall he really was. He reached down and lifted his hat from the sofa. Eva thought he looked so awkward, his movements tentative, self conscious, and he was clearly trying to think of the right words to say so he could make a dignified exit.
"Thank you for coming," Eva said.
Aaron smiled gently. He stepped closer to Eva and looked down intently. His eyes were so bright and full of compassion, Eva felt her heart stir. "I'm truly sorry for your loss. I only hope today will be the start of a good new life for you," he said, his voice quiet and sure.
Aaron leaned in closer, and she could feel the sheer power of his presence in the breadth of his chest, the width of his shoulders. "Eva. You deserve the best," he said slowly. Eva drew in a quick breath and caught his scent, a pleasing mixture of leather and soap.
Aaron paused, glanced briefly to one side, and then continued. "I know we've had our differences over the years. And it hasn't always been friendly between us. But I think we both know that sometimes, over the past few years, we've had a sympathy for each other. I don't know how else to put it. But, all I can say is that there have been times when I have thought about you in the most congenial and pleasing of terms."
Aaron swallowed after uttering those final words, as if he'd had to force them out. Had he said what she thought he'd said? Had he just admitted to a past attraction to her?
Aaron cleared his throat. He patted his hat against his thigh in a gesture of finality. "I guess I best be going," he said softly.
And then Aaron did something for which Eva was completely unprepared. He reached down and took her hand. Eva made no effort to stop him as he raised her hand to his lips and kissed the back of her fingers. His kiss was brief and slightly hesitant. As his mouth made contact with her hand Eva saw him lift his gaze. Aaron's blue eyes seemed to shimmer as they looked at Eva. She felt her heart rush, taking no notice of her mind's command to ignore this gesture. Her breath stalled, and she was sure that the expression on her face must have been that of stunned surprise.
After a moment Aaron released her hand. Eva's arm seemed to float back down to her side as if it weighed no more than a feather. There was a long moment when they both simply looked at one another. Aaron's face had satisfaction written on it. Eva raised a hand to her collar.
Then she heard someone cough and a knock on the parlor door. Eva whirled around and saw the last person she would have wanted to witness what had just taken place between her and Aaron.
"Jude! What are you doing there?" Eva demanded.
"The door was open," the foreman said with a gesture behind him. "I wanted to ask if Mr. Stewart here wanted his horse tied up in the stable. Especially if he's planning on being here a while," Jude said.
Aaron stepped around Eva and placed himself between her and Jude. "How long I'm staying isn't any of your concern, Jude," Aaron stated firmly.
Jude rolled his eyes. "From what I just saw, looked like you were planning on hanging around quite a while," he said, his words drawling and slurred.
Aaron strode over to Jude. Eva could see that Aaron had a notion to teach Jude a lesson in respecting people's privacy. She rushed behind Aaron and took his arm. Aaron halted a few steps away from Jude. Aaron turned and looked at Eva. She saw the indignation in his eyes, such a contrast to the tender and considerate gaze only moments before. Eva shook her head, words unnecessary, and an understanding seemed to connect Eva and Aaron in that moment.
Aaron turned and peered at Jude. "What you saw is none of your business, Jude. Miss. Gillespie and I were discussing an arrangement to which you are not a party, and I'll thank you to keep your nose out of our present and future affairs," Aaron said, his voice firm and emphatic.
Jude's face paled. His brows furrowed. Eva couldn't help noticing the difference in the two men's stature. Aaron was firm and confident looking, while Jude just seemed to shrink before the larger man.
"I'll see you out, Aaron," Eva said taking his elbow and leading him past Jude. The foreman leaned back against the door.
Outside, the afternoon air was cool. Ranch hands were busy going about their business. Eva felt a rush of relief as she stopped on the porch. She noticed she'd kept a hold of Aaron's elbow. When he looked down at her with an approving smile, she cleared her throat and hurriedly loosened her grip.
"He's an insufferable man," she said.
"He's been like that since I've known him. I don't think he's ever liked me," Aaron said.
"Even less now, I suppose after what he saw," Eva said.
Aaron eyes narrowed. "And what did he just see, Eva?"
Eva raised a hand to her throat and glanced over toward the corral. How much had Jude heard? How long had he been there? Eva was suddenly seized with a powerful urge to tell Aaron just how much his acceptance of her proposal would mean to her. But she couldn't. She dare not tell Aaron Stewart that marriage to him wasn't just about avoiding forced matrimony with Jude Arabin, or making sure she got ownership of the ranch. There was no possibility in Eva's mind that she could admit to Aaron right now that their shared past had meant the same to her, as it had so obviously meant to him.
Aaron looked at Eva. She knew he was waiting for an answer. He probably deserved more than she was offering. The way Aaron had protected her from Jude since his arrival at the ranch had touched her heart. This handsome rancher, a man barely a few years older than Eva, her neighbour and supposed rival for so many years, had shown her, in less than an hour, just how far he was willing to go to take care of her. What on earth would Eva do if Aaron declined her offer of marriage?
"Are you going to be okay?" Aaron asked.
Eva glanced back toward the house. "Of course. Mrs. Bell knows how to take care of me," she answered.
Aaron smiled. "I'm sure she does." He put his hat on and bowed his head slightly. "You get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow. I promise," he said and started toward his horse.
And then Aaron was raising himself up onto the horse, grasping the reins, turning his mount away from Eva and riding off, leaving her with a sinking feeling that wasn't only caused by the confusing and disturbing events of one of the most momentous days of her life.
CHAPTER SIX
"He's gone," Eva said to Mrs. Bell.
They were in the kitchen and Eva was trying to take her mind of things by helping with the preparation of the dinner. Eva peeled the potatoes over the bowl and tried to forget how she'd felt at seeing Aaron heading off earlier that afternoon. It seemed that preparing food didn't do much to help someone forget.
"He'll be back," Mrs. Bell said cutting up some vegetables on a wooden board. Outside, darkness was starting to fall. It was the end to a truly sad and awful day. Eva couldn't wait for it to end. There was a tiredness in her soul that she'd never felt before. Maybe Mrs. Bell could lift her spirits, as she'd done so many times in the past.