But they didn’t team up on me. It was the exact opposite. They’d decided to pretend nothing had happened, that there’d been no significance to Shae’s phone call, but they were looking at me strangely when they thought I wasn’t paying attention. At least they were pretending, so I could pretend I didn’t notice they were pretending. That suited me just fine, for as long as it lasted. Surely they couldn’t keep up the charade for long. I waited for just the right time. The curtain would go up.
After dinner, we were huddled around Faith’s outdoor fire pit, enjoying an indescribable display of stars while the fire kept us warm. I couldn’t remember seeing so many stars before, but Faith’s house was far enough from city lights so the whole sky was deep black and crystal clear, making the stars all look orderly from where I sat, as if each and every one of them had been deliberately placed, unlike me.
Or was it
like
me? I’d been deliberately placed, hadn’t I? Maybe this was the right time to…
Just do it. Stop putting it off by trying to make it just the right time. Tell them you have an announcement to make, and the words will come.
Faith suddenly jerked and yelled, “Ouch! Steven, if you kick me one more time, so help me… for the love of God,
why
can’t I just ask her? Do you really think that’ll change anything? Hell, just look at her!”
And look they did, all three of them. I liked it better when they were pretending.
“She’s already a mess,” Faith continued. “Why can’t we just put all the cards on the table and see what we have? Maybe if she knows what we’re thinking and we know what she’s thinking we can unite and actually do something to stop whatever it is that’s freaking her out.”
I cleared my throat. “Uh, excuse me. I’m right here. I can hear you.”
I regretted saying the words before they were even out.
She turned to me. “I don’t even know what
shoes
to put you in tomorrow! I don’t know anything, and these guys keep telling me that if I push too hard you’re going to leave or run away or something, but when I look at you…” Her face softened. “Oh, honey, I see such desperation… like you’re about to stand in front of a firing squad all alone… and I start to think that whatever’s happening, it’s against your will, which makes me think that maybe you
want
our help. Maybe you…”
She took a deep breath as if to continue, but Lane cut in.
“Stop! No more.” He turned to me, looking more resigned than I’d ever seen him. “This isn’t something we can help you with, is it?”
I shook my head.
“And telling us about it won’t do any good?”
Correct him. This is the opening you waited for. Do it! Now!
“Telling you about it? Lane, that’s been my problem all along.”
Okay, good start. Keep going. Stand up. Make your speech.
“We all love you,” he interrupted. “You know that, right? If patience is what you need, so be it. We’ll be patient.”
“Listen to me. Please! This is all about tomorrow. I… the reason I haven’t been able to tell you why I—”
“Don’t worry about tomorrow,” Faith said. “Dr. Chen will—”
“STOP!” I screamed, shouting to the stars. “STOP, STOP, STOP! Stop interrupting me, all of you.” My eyes filled; I didn’t care. “I’m trying to tell you something none of you could know… or guess. I don’t know how to say this, but you
have
to know. You have to know what I am. What I
am!”
I had to repeat the three words because I’d choked up. They waited, silent for once, while I composed myself again.
“I’m not who you think I am. I’m not Sydney.
This
is Sydney… “I ran my hands down my body and legs—
her
body and legs—then put one of
her
hands on my forehead and the other on my heart. “
This
is me. I’m in here. I’ve taken control. Sydney’s not home right now, but she’s returning… soon… and then I won’t see any of you anymore. It’ll be over. I’ll be gone.” I was bawling, but I didn’t care. “You all have to be careful now. She’s… she’s… look, I don’t know what I
am
, don’t you see? I may be some sort of ghost without a name, damned for all eternity to jump from body to body, stealing lives and… and… I get shoved into bodies and I just take over. That’s why I can’t remember my past, not much at all. I’m a parasite. Just a parasite, not an angel, not something good like that. Just a damn parasite! And I never know when I’m going to be snatched away and shoved into someone else. That’s why… that’s why I…”
I couldn’t continue. Lane was standing next to me. I turned to him, feeling his arms around me as I sagged against his chest and cried my heart out for what seemed like forever. Then there were other arms, along with his. Faith was there. She brought her face within inches of mine, speaking softly.
“I love you,” she said, “like the real daughter I’ve gone without for so many years. Always will, no matter what.” She was about to perform one of her grand exits, but then she stopped. “Thank you. Thank you for trusting me with your friendship.”
“Do you understand?” I whispered back.
“No, but it doesn’t matter, does it? My daughter’s coming back. Do you know when? Can you tell us?”
I shook my head as the tears started all over again.
“That’s what I thought you’d say.” She sniffed. “Now I’m doubly pleased that you’re going to see Dr. Chen tomorrow. If anyone can help you, he can. Be patient. Trust me, he will help you. Now you and Lane need some quiet time together, so Steven and I will say good night.”
And she gave my wet cheek a kiss.
* * *
Lane held me there by the fire, until I used up all my sobs. “I love you,” he whispered. “I will always love you. What I said about every second of life being precious, back when you were washing Bear’s gift off your face… well, it sounds like I hit the nail on the head, doesn’t it? I’ve fallen in love with the
you
that’s in here.” He poked me tenderly between my breasts. “Not simply the outside part. We’ll just have to see what happens tomorrow.”
With that, he swept me up in his arms, carried me inside, and placed me on Faith’s double-wide couch, set alongside a window wall that looked east. The crescent moon had nearly set, even though it wasn’t that late at night. We could watch it for awhile.
There was a colorful blanket there, folded up. He covered us with it, then wrapped me in his arms. “I love you, Little Miss Brave Britches. I will always love you.” After a pause, he added one last thought. “So will Shae.”
Eventually his body relaxed and his breathing slowed. He hadn’t really believed me. None of them had. I was just a girl having mental problems they all hoped could be straightened out by Faith’s psychiatrist. In a way, I couldn’t blame them, but at least they’d been warned. They’d remember my words when… when it happened… when Sydney got her body back.
Now my life here was down to hours.
After the moon sank below the horizon, I focused on the stars, feeling more alone than ever. They were my only witnesses, the only ones who could testify that I actually existed.
Seattle, 10:30 P.M.
“Quit draggin’ your feet, Sarah, and stop your sniveling. I’m not going to carry you, and you might as well get used to it.”
The way out of the underground maze was different than the way in, because the Legnas wanted to dump her into a different part of the city. It was part of their weird plan, some of which had become pretty evident during the “ceremony,” once they’d gotten over her deflowered condition. They’d been vexed at
themselves
for not picking up on that fact, not at him. Maybe that explained him hearing more than he should have when they’d discussed returning the damaged goods to its source once they were finished with her.
For reasons only they understood, they got their rocks off going after church stock. It wasn’t for recruitment to their growing organization, only for some sort of campaign they had, sorta like revenge, except that was the wrong word for it.
Sarah had been a prime example of the kind they were after, now that he saw things a little clearer. Hell, she wouldn’t know what hit her until that last dose wore off, but if there was anything they’d forgotten to do with her, it wasn’t worth mentioning. Her stupid dress didn’t slow them down any; they’d cut the whole bottom off. Gave her a nice, short mini, even if it was a little ragged. He’d had his own kicks with her a few times, along with a whole bunch of the other disciples with the right equipment under their robes, but the high points were when the four Legnas took their turns. Whatever they did with her, it had nothing to do with sex.
The only thing missing was some good music. Maybe some Rob Zombie. Yeah, that would’ve been perfect.
She’d screamed a little at first, but it wasn’t long before she did whatever anyone wanted, for as long as they wanted. Problem was she acted like a robot, not all that exciting until she started fighting back a little. After that it was great fun… fun for everyone but her… but that was her problem, not his. All in all, a pretty damned decent orgy. Even Theresa and the girl disciples seemed to have had a great time!
Delivery of the damaged goods fell partly to the one who’d produced them in the first place—him. He’d take her out of the underground. Someone else would “save her” and drive her home, some kind-hearted soul. No sense risking being caught with her, and no way would he take her even close to his Mustang. The cops had probably already added her to their three-page list of missing persons.
But the cops wouldn’t be watching the spot where he’d dump her. They didn’t even know about it; nobody did. The old city had several legitimate entrances used by the tourist trade, yes, but there’d been plenty that tourists never saw. Most had been sealed a long time back, but a few strategic ones had been altered from the inside. They were used as exits only, never entrances, and only when one of the disciples was posted outside ahead of time to keep a watch on things.
This one was a rusty old steel-clad door in what had once been a meat-packing plant, now a small retail shop near Fisherman’s Wharf. During the reconstruction phase, workmen used an existing stairway to the old building’s first floor for their comings and goings. Later the stairway and bottom floor had been filled with dirt and the whole back of the building’s interior had been bricked up, walled off from the rest with a space between the inside wall and the original outside. A new “rear entrance door” had been installed in the part of the building still in use. No need to tear down the old part. Wasn’t worth the expense.
There might have been fifty similar remnants—all filled with dirt, all officially forgotten unless utilities such as gas, water and electricity were involved—but dirt was easily moved aside, as any mole could prove. Not so with cobwebs, rats, and centipedes. Even blindfolded, Sarah’s reaction to cobwebs was one scream after another. He’d been forced to slow down, using his flashlight to sweep them away just so she’d shut up. Bad enough she’d spent every other breath whimpering and moaning, but she kept stumbling as well. Then she’d clutch at his arm and drag him halfway down every time some little wisp brushed her hair.
Well, she had to wear the blindfold, and that was that.
“There are stairs here, Sarah. I’ll nudge your foot against the first one, okay?” There was no answer, just more sniveling. “OKAY?”
“Everything hurts… everything… my hand… my body… headaches… need more pills.”
“Not yet. Stop sniveling and go up the stairs.”
“I’ll… I’ll… do anything. Please? Just one?”
“Not now. Once we’re back outside and I let you go, then maybe I’ll hand you a couple. Step up, damn it, UP.”
“You’re going to let me go? Aren’t you coming with me?”
“Sarah, you’re starting to piss me off again. Now shut up and take the stairs.”
“I don’t understand. I thought you liked me. I… I… don’t believe you. What’s the catch?”
“They want you to go home, back to your daddy, back to your church.”
“But I can’t go back, not ever. Father won’t want me. He’ll punish me… for… for… embarrassing him. He’ll blame me for what you did to him.”
“That’ll be nothing compared to what’ll happen to you if you don’t do what
they
want. If you ask me, you’re lucky. You should see what they did to the other chicks when they were through with them. Not pretty. Okay, this is the top stair. Turn right. There’s a door in front of you.”
If everything was okay outside, there’d be a straw sticking through a tiny hole, drilled through the door—and there it was! The bolts had already been pulled back by the disciple. All he had to do was shove it open.
“Here… I’m giving you two blue friends that’ll get you home. Take one now and the other only if you need it. That should be a couple hours from now.” She clutched them, immediately popping one. Then he held her by the hair and pushed the door open, surprised when an icy blast greeted him. Somehow the tunnels never got much below fifty degrees, same as Seattle itself, but some blustery weather had moved in.
“You can see the street from here, Sarah. Go out there and someone will take pity on you. Make it fast, because it’s really cold now.” With that, he yanked her blindfold away.