“Just a big misunderstanding,” Sydney soothed. “She knows you love her and that you and I are just… well… whatever we are. You know she loves you because you’d have to be blind not to see it, and now both of you will live happily ever after. The end. Ta-daaa!”
He stared at me, but didn’t move. “Do I dare believe her?” he asked, whispering, “after what you said there at—”
Sydney cleared her throat. “Suddenly I’m parched. I think I’ll grab a drink and wait with the others.” Her smile was impish, more so thanks to her short hair. “Take your time. We’re here for as long as it takes. I’ll tell the others you’re coming. Ta!”
I watched her bounce away. “Told you so,” Lane said, coming closer. His steps were a little unsure. “She’s quite a surprise, isn’t she?”
“She knew how angry and frustrated I was at her, but she still did this for me. Why?”
“I guess some of you rubbed off on her. I imagine it doesn’t get more intimate than sharing a body. What’s that like,” he asked, “moving in and out of bodies? It’s got to be a little weird.”
He was standing close to me now, enough so we were touching. I couldn’t look up. “It’s like falling. Falling forever,” I whispered.
“Falling,” he said, more to himself than me. “All this time I couldn’t figure out where I fit in, or even if I could, but now I know what I can be for you, how I can help.” He took my hands. “I’ll be your ground. I’ll be the one to catch you, the one who loves you no matter what.” I still couldn’t look at him.
“Hey,” he said. “Hey, look at me, Brave Britches.” He lifted my chin. “You want to know what’s just as weird as what you’re feeling right now? Think of what
I’m
going through. I go and fall in love for the first time in my life ever, with a girl I worship and want to be with for eternity, and she turns out to be someone else. The one I loved doesn’t live in that body anymore because
she’s
now someone else, too. It took me awhile to figure it out, and yes, it was messy, but we’ll talk about that later because here you are. You’ve returned, and everything I loved about you is still right there. Oh, you’re taller than before, have nicer hair and a prettier face—when it isn’t crying—and you still make my heart do double flips, but it’s as though someone peeled away a cocoon, and now I’m looking at the beautiful butterfly inside.”
“I’m nothing but a parasite, Lane, an ugly parasite.”
“Parasite?” The humor I’d so missed was back in his voice. Suddenly I felt his hand on my shoulder, then his arm against my back. I sagged against him, stubbornly looking away.
“Do you know what a parasite is, Lane, huh? Do you? It’s an organism that grows and feeds and—”
“And lives on or in some other organism,” he recited, “contributing nothing in return. Was that what you were going to say, Miss Dictionary?” He lifted my chin again, brushing away the fresh tears. My new body reacted to his touch, and I was having trouble focusing on his words. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his lips, remembering what they’d tasted like. “Well, little ugly parasite, I have news for you. What if we spell parasite as A-N-G-E-L? That’s a heavenly spirit who protects and offers guidance to us mortal, imperfect humans. That’s what you are, Abithica, an angel. I even have proof. Her name is Shae.”
“Angels don’t think the thoughts I do, or do the things I’ve done. Outrageous, in your case, and you know what I mean.”
“Aaahh, but you are wrong. After you left I did a lot of thinking about the things you said, especially the way you viewed yourself, and I think I have come up with some answers for you… with Father Gabe’s help, of course.” He brushed away another trickle running down my cheek. “Are you curious? Want to hear it?
I nodded, even though I knew he was chasing rainbows. He lifted my chin again.
“Since you’ve chosen to exist in human form, it’s only natural that you share human weaknesses. It’s more complicated than that, but it boils down to the same thing. You must have known it would be this way when you accepted your assignment. Maybe you even asked to be assigned in this way. Did you ever think of that?”
“Assignments? Assignments I
asked
for? Are you kidding me? Who in the world came up with that? Father Gabe? I hate to break it to you, but the word voluntary doesn’t belong in any sentence describing my predicament. The whole thing has been one huge mystery. You really believe this angel stuff, don’t you? This is your explanation for what I am, for the kind of—”
He put a finger on my lips. “Angels are the closest of all God’s assistants to humans. They’re most definitely not parasites. Call them first cousins. Yes, Father Gabe laid it all out for me and I do believe it, I truly do.”
“Because you want to, not because it makes sense. What purpose could it possibly serve, me jumping in and out of people’s bodies and messing around with their lives? That’s what it all boils down to. Aren’t you trying to make yourself feel better about having feelings for me? Look, you fell in love with Sydney, and I’m not her. I’m someone completely different. I have no idea whose body I’ve stolen. I even have
this
… again!” I showed him my right hand. “This tells you I was a member of the same gang that robbed—”
“The Interstate Bank thing?”
“Yeah. Except they’re in Seattle, too. Tell me why you think angels would have anything to do with such gangsters. First here, then there? Go ahead. I’m listening.”
He just chuckled.
“What, Lane, no ideas? What if I were a demon instead of an angel? What then? Better fit? Easier to explain? Does the word ‘parasite’ seem to work better now?”
“I’d have gladly latched onto your parasite theory if I’d thought of it.”
“What do you mean?”
“Call it ego, or my personal greed, or anything you want. My chances were much better of convincing a parasite to love me forever, or even a demon, but an angel? Why would an angel love
me
, of all people? You have no idea how wicked
I’ve
been where you’re concerned, and I don’t mean Sydney, I mean
you
, Abithica, the one I love, the angel I love.” Insecurity? Lane? Was that what I was seeing on his face? He looked away. “How long will it be before you grow bored with a mere man? We both know I’m riddled with faults. Bound to screw up. Make terrible mistakes. You’ll tire of that eventually. Yearn for something more. Something I won’t be able to give you.” He squeezed his eyes shut, and his chin went down so I couldn’t see his face.
Neither of us spoke for several long seconds. I thought of my reasons for returning, of my wish for closure, but I’d never imagined anything like this. Finally I broke our silence.
“I guess… Lane, I guess this
is
more than I’d hoped for, even if you’re living a fantasy I can’t share. If only I could.”
His chin came back up. “We’ll go somewhere private and talk some more about it, if you’re willing, and that’s a promise. Right now the others are dying to see you. They have their own theories, you know, even Shae. Let’s not keep them waiting.”
“Do they all think I’m an angel, too?”
“You’ll see. Are you ready?”
What was taking them so long? Shae had checked all the escalators on the floor or at least the ones Father Gabe had okayed, about a dozen times
and
had avoided stepping on even one crack in the floor! Her mom was gone so it couldn’t
really
break her back, but the just-in-case part of that idea had her clearing every single grout line with room to spare.
When she reached the end of her escalator circuit, she paused to catch her breath. Then began again, starting with the out-of-the-way one. The one nobody used much. Check them all. That’s what Father Gabe had said. Then he’d said the exact opposite and ordered her to stay close to where he was sitting with Sydney’s mom. That was a grown-up for you. How was she supposed go all the way over to those escalators and still stay close to them?
Sure would be fun, though, to run down to where Father Gabe said they’d be and surprise Lane and Sydney and her special angel, Bith-akka, except Bith-akka would be on to her, wouldn’t she? She’d know before she even got close, so that wouldn’t work.
Father Gabe was being kinda silly about this whole thing, sorta nervous, but that was okay. After all, he was a boy, just like Lane, so he’d have
lots
of problems. Shae had to agree with Sydney’s mom, although her mom had used the word, men, and had said it with such venom, but boys
were
dogs. They were all over the place, even priests who knew stuff about angels and all that.
Lane was the perfect example. First he was excited, then he was sad, then he was confused, then back to being excited. Like Teddy Bear on a walk with other dogs around. Where was Lane anyhow? He’d headed off toward those B gates—actually running—but he came back with that don’t-talk-to-me-or-I’ll-bite-your-head-off look. Then Sydney’d gone down the other escalator, right over there, and she wasn’t gone very long before he followed her, so they’d both have to be downstairs now, looking for Bithy-ca. They’d just
have
to.
How long would it take to sneak down there and find them? Could she make it back before Father Gabe noticed she was gone? He’d be mad if he caught her. Well, he wouldn’t
actually
be mad, but he’d pretend he was, and then it would be lecture time and the last thing she wanted to do at that moment was sit through one of
those.
The other escalator went to the baggage area, too, a down and up one for the A gates and another set for the B gates, and they had lots more people using them. Maybe she’d check that one first. Maybe take a ride down, take a quick look around then come right… oops, here came Sydney, all by herself. What happened to Lane and Bitha-ca? Hmmm… She had said it better that time. Bitha-ca. Yep, she was getting better at it, all right. Bithaca! It was one of those words that was hard to say at first, like super-cala-fraja-lipstick-ex-pee-ala-doe-shus, but if you said it enough times it started to come out just right. Bithaca!
The way Lane put it, angels worked just like a lot of “fix-it” guys, like him. They came down, lived with humans and fixed things. Sometimes they stayed around and other times they went to the next place where something else needed fixing. Angels were always busy. They were pretty shy, too. They didn’t want anyone to know they were helping. Bithaca helped Sydney a whole bunch, and now she was helping someone else, that woman with the long, blonde hair, at the circus. Even though she looked different on the outside, she was the same angel inside as before. She’d had that pink glow all around her, same as when she was helping Sydney. It looked a lot like cotton candy, like when you got really close to the paper cone and there was just pink fuzz left, but adults couldn’t see it. Lane couldn’t, and neither could Sydney or Father Gabe! If they’d seen it, they’d have said something.
This time Bithaca was helping the girl with long blonde hair. Lane called her Annie. Something had made him turn around back there at the circus, and
there she was!
Sydney pointed her out, and then Shae saw her, too. Maybe they’d both seen her because she was so pretty. She definitely stood out. Lane ran after her, but she’d already started back to the airport to catch her plane. He didn’t seem so confused back there, not like he was now. Of course, Shae didn’t always get told
everything
—she wasn’t old enough—but the way it looked to her, he was running after her for another reason, like maybe to get a little mushy? Probably wanted to put his arm around her and say gushy things. After all, he was a
grown-up
boy, and they did some pretty goofy things.
After seeing her, Shae didn’t want to look at the circus any more. If Bithaca needed a friend to help her with Annie, Shae wanted to be the one she picked.
From her vantage point at the top of the escalator, Shae couldn’t see much of the floor beneath her.
She
was down there someplace so was Lane. Man, he had looked so freaked out, just like the time Teddy Bear had snatched the brisket off the kitchen table. What a mess! ‘Course, Bear had to go and run all over the house before Lane could catch him. It was amazing how much of the meat Bear had been able to swallow whole, while running. There was definitely more goo left than meat, and boy, had they been starving!
Lane wasn’t hungry now, though.
This time after wearing that freaked out expression, she heard him say that life sure sucked. That was just before he got in the truck on his way here. He said it real low, but she’d heard it anyway. Sucked was one of those potty words you weren’t supposed to say, but adults said it all the time. She’d said it herself a couple of times. Made her feel icky.
Sydney was heading right for her mom and Father Gabe, so Lane was probably right behind her with Bithaca. They’d used the same escalator on the way down, so she’d better check over there again. Oh, and she had to try and remember not to ask lots of questions when they did appear. That’s what Faith, Sydney’s mom, said. That lady was a little weird, but she seemed nice enough and
she
sure didn’t look that excited right now. Neither did Father Gabe. Maybe he was rehearsing for when Bithaca got there. Maybe he’d never met a real angel before. Maybe he only just talked about them.