Abnormal Lives (30 page)

“Why you say that?” Simone asked.

“You know damn well she really don't want y'all to come,” Paris said. “The only reason she asked y'all to come is 'cause she figured y'all wouldn't and she could feel good about herself for inviting y'all.”

“Well, I hope she's feeling mighty Christian-like, 'cause we're gonna surprise her ass today,” Stefan said.

They all went to Simone and Stefan's house to wash up and change clothes. They hurried to make the service. Stefan and Paris jumped in the shower together and Simone washed up in the sink, spot-checking, only washing the parts of her body that were prone to odor.

Simone put on a summer dress and wore a shawl to cover up her shoulders and back. Paris borrowed a pair of slacks, a dress shirt, trouser socks, and a pair of dress shoes from Stefan. Stefan wore a brown V-neck dress that tied in the back, a pair of sandals, and a big brown hat with a black bow on the side that had once belonged to his grandmother. Stefan had kept his grandmother's hat for such an occasion.

Stefan looked himself over in the mirror. “Okay, y'all, let's go.”

Simone looked at Stefan and covered her mouth. “Are you really going to church like that?”

“They say come as you are and this is who I am.”

Paris looked at Stefan and smiled. “I'll tell you one thing, your boldness has no boundaries.”

The three walked up the church steps. Simone's cheeks turned cherry red. She felt the embarrassment she thought that Stefan should have felt. She took a deep breath and prepared herself for the reaction of the congregation.

Stefan held his head high as he walked through the door. He nodded his head, acknowledging everyone who looked his way. The ladies smirked and the men looked at him with disdain. The congregation began to whisper among themselves. One of the men hurried over to get one of the ushers.

By the time Simone, Stefan, and Paris made it to the pew, the entire congregation was eyeing Stefan.

The usher walked over to Stefan as he was taking his seat and grabbed his arm. “Come with me.”

“Excuse me?” Stefan said.

“Come on,” the usher said, squeezing Stefan's arm.

Stefan snatched away from the usher. “I'm not going anywhere. I'm here to praise the Lord like everyone else.”

The commotion grabbed Mrs. Sandra's attention. She slid past the people who sat on the pew with her and made her way over to Stefan.

The usher grabbed Stefan's arm again and demanded that he come with him.

“Come on, man; I told you, I'm not going anywhere,” Stefan said. “Now go sit down. You can't keep groping on me in the house of the Lord.”

“What?” the usher exclaimed.

“You heard me,” Stefan said. “If you've got to have me that bad, I'll give you my number and we can get together later, but now ain't the time.”

Mrs. Sandra tapped the usher on his shoulder. “Excuse me, Brother Thompson, he's with me.”

The usher huffed and walked back to his post.

Simone sighed. She felt like she had been rescued from embarrassment.

Mrs. Sandra sat down on the pew with Simone, Stefan, and Paris
and waited for the sermon to start. She looked around the church to see if Stefan's father was there. She spotted Stefan's father sitting three rows up from them. She tapped the lady in front of her on her shoulder and asked her to get his attention. The lady passed the message up the next row and soon Stefan's father turned around. Mrs. Sandra motioned for him to come to the pew where they sat but as soon as he saw Stefan, he turned away.

Stefan's father hadn't seen Stefan in over ten years. No matter how much Stefan had changed, it was impossible to forget his eyes. Stefan's father was shaken; he had seen a ghost.

The pastor asked the congregation to bow their heads for prayer. As the congregation prayed, Stefan looked over at his father, who took advantage of the opportunity. Stefan's father looked back at Stefan and then grabbed his hat and made his way out of the church.

Stefan's father tried to convince himself that he'd left because he was angry at what Stefan had become, but his soul knew the truth. The anger he felt when Stefan was a little boy was gone. This time he left because he feared how the congregation would perceive him when they found out that Stefan was his son. He also feared having to explain to Stefan why he was too weak to be a gay boy's father. He fled the church with his head held down like a coward with no intention of ever coming there again.

Mrs. Sandra looked up and noticed Stefan's father was gone. “I'm sorry, Stefan,” she said, patting Stefan on his knee.

Stefan looked up at Mrs. Sandra and faked a smile. “It's okay; he did exactly what I expected him to do.”

The pastor's voice shook the church as he sermonized about the love God had for all of His children who fell short of His glory. His children the sinners, whom He loved so much that He sent His only son down to earth to suffer all of the discomforts
and limitations that came along with inhabiting a physical body and to be persecuted to give mankind the opportunity to be saved from the torment of hell.

Tears filled Stefan's eyes. They misrepresented God. They made Him petty and vengeful toward His children who didn't follow the laws set in place by officials. God wasn't the one that was petty or vengeful; it was men and they used the professed word of God to excuse their actions. Men lied, misconstrued words, and spoke falsely of people and situations for their benefit. The victors of wars and the thieves of continents wrote history to their liking, making fairytales out of notorieties. It was their practice all throughout time. Officers of the law inflated situations, lawyers twisted words, and the judges adhered. All in the name of collecting fines from the citizens they so-called protected, the same citizens who had to jump through hoops or perform other circus tricks, or be beaten nearly to death to get a restraining order. A lot of religious organizations had similar practices. They could tell you how to live and what would happen to you if you didn't adhere to their rules. Pay the church; follow our rules; break them and God will punish you; if you oppose us you're a heathen and heathens go to hell. They could tell you that but rarely nurtured the destitute or lent any physical help to those in need. As far as Stefan was concerned, they could take all of their rules, talk of sin and abomination, and hell-fire and shove it up their asses. If there was such a thing as sin it would be telling fibs about God, giving the masses a feeling of inferiority from the day they were old enough to comprehend the dogma drilled into their heads by religious groups. If sin did actually exist, it would be no more than guilt and inhibition. He didn't spread dogma. He didn't have any inhibitions. Nor was he guilty about how he lived his life.

Stefan wished his father would have accepted him for who he was and been a part of his life but he had chosen not to. If he could change how his father felt about him, he would, but he lacked the power to do so. He wasn't going to pretend to be someone he wasn't to court his father's acceptance; it was hard enough being himself. Stefan could not imagine the strain of acting as if he was something that he was not. He would be enslaving himself and he loved his freedom. Despite his father's feelings about him, Stefan wished him the best. He only wanted to lay eyes on him once more.

27

S
imone lay in bed hugging her pillow with her sheet strung between her legs, only covering the front of her body. A breeze came through her window and blew across her face. It was a heavy smell in the air, the kind of smell that filled the air before a thunderstorm. Simone welcomed the storm. She planned to sleep into the next day and the sound of rain would induce a heavy sleep.

The phone rang. Simone dragged herself across the bed and grabbed the phone off of the nightstand. “Hello.”

“I'm sorry,” Wayne muttered.

Simone sighed. “Do you have my money?”

“Can't we talk about this?” Wayne asked. “Damn, give me a chance to make things right.”

“I am,” Simone said. “All you have to do is give me my fucking money.”

Wayne did not want to go through with his plans. He did not want to have to take such extreme measures to put an end to the situation. He wanted to call his guy back and call the entire thing off, but Simone was so adamant about getting her way, she had left him no choice.

“Fuck it; if you want your money that bad, then meet me at the detail shop where we first met in an hour,” Wayne said. “I'll have it.”

“Are you going to have your down payment or are you going to have all of it?”

“All of it,” Wayne answered.

“Oh, at first you said you didn't have it,” Simone said. “So who got the boot? Mom and dad or was it the baby mama?”

“Do you want the money or not?”

Simone sucked her teeth. “Of course I want it.”

“Then meet me in an hour,” Wayne said, and then hung up the phone.

Simone stood up on her bed and jumped for joy.

“What the hell are you doing up there?” Stefan yelled from downstairs.

“Nothing,” Simone answered. “Getting ready to meet Wayne.”

“Why?”

“'Cause he's got my money.”

“Oh, that's what's up,” Stefan said. “What's my cut?”

“You ain't getting shit,” Simone mumbled.

“I didn't hear you say anything.”

“We'll talk about it when I get back,” Simone said.

“Awright, but come here for a minute.”

“For what?” Simone asked.

“I want you to see something.”

Simone sighed. “What, Stefan?”

“This guy that's been sitting outside in this Impala,” Stefan said. “He's fine. He's light-skinned and has curly hair. It looks like he has hazel eyes. He's been sitting in his car looking like a damn fool for about twenty minutes, but he sure is fine.”

“How you know how long he's been out there?”

“'Cause I've been going back and forth to the window looking at him,” Stefan answered.

Simone stopped ironing her clothes and went downstairs to
humor Stefan and look out of the window at the fine man that he talked about.

Simone peeked through the blinds. “I don't see anybody.”

“You don't see a gray Impala out there?”

“Yeah, but ain't nobody in it.”

Stefan walked to the window and peeked through the blinds to confirm if what Simone had said was true. The car was still outside but the fine man that was sitting inside of it was gone.

Simone sucked her teeth. “I can't believe you called me all the way down here for nothing.”

“Damn, you act like you ran down the block or some shit.”

Simone rolled her eyes and stomped back upstairs to iron.

“Stomp your ass up the stairs then,” Stefan said. “That's the last time I try to include you in something.”

Simone sighed and continued on her way.