Authors: Adrienne Torrisi
"I'm sorry. I couldn't help it
," I quickly apologize.
Shane
wipes my lipstick off his lips and after what feels like twenty minutes, he finally speaks, "That was weird."
I start to laug
h, I’m so relieved. I totally agree. I’m happy it doesn't feel awkward; it still feels like it always does with Shane. "It was like kissing my brother," I say through breaks of laughter.
Shane
starts laughing, too. "Well, that's one way to try to get it out of me and it definitely helped prove something," he says, getting more serious.
"Shane
, what exactly are you talking about?"
"I think there is a reason kissing each other felt so strange."
"Yeah, because we don't like each other." I realize we are still in the middle of the dance floor, but we are no longer dancing. It is another slow song so I grab Shane by the shoulders and start swaying to the music.
"No
, it's more than that, Ash," Shane says, following my lead.
"Then
, what? What is going on? Did Todd tell you something you aren't supposed to tell me?"
"Ash
, this has nothing to do with Todd," he says, a little irritated. "Well, it sort of does. Listen, the reason I know Todd doesn't like boys is because I do."
That
is the last thing I’m expecting Shane to say, but when he says it, everything makes sense. The meticulous style, the fact that he always listens to Sid and I talk about boys and he will never really talk about girls, how he is so sure about Todd.
I realize I
am still swaying to the music and holding on to Shane's shoulders, but I haven’t responded to what he has just said out loud yet. He is just standing there waiting for some kind of response.
"I don't know what to say. I still love you?”
Shane
’s mouth turns up into a smile. He seems relieved. His shoulders relax from their tense hold that I didn’t even realize he had until now, he looks as if a huge weight has been lifted.
“Now we both have secrets!”
He smiles and then looks down at the floor for a while before his eyes finally come up to meet mine. “I’m not ready to tell Sid yet.”
“I get it
; it’s okay.”
“I’m just afraid of her reaction and she’s not the best with secrets.
I’m not sure I want the whole school to know right now.” Shane smiles, but I can tell he is nervous. “In fact, I don’t want anyone to know, especially my parents. They have enough problems right now.”
“Shane, it’s not a problem. It’s great.
You know who you are, that’s pretty amazing.”
“I’m not sure they’ll see it that way.”
“How long have you known?”
“Pretty much my entire life
,”—Shane shrugs his shoulders—“but I started really being attracted to boys, maybe, in the sixth grade?”
“SHANE! I can’t believe you’ve kept this a secret for that long. I mean
, I’ve only liked Todd for like three weeks and you already know EVERYTHING.”
“Well
, maybe I’m more observant than you,” he says through a smile. “No, really, I didn’t even want to admit it to myself for a long time. Especially with what’s going on with my parents after Roger’s accident. I’m still not ready to say it out loud. I just didn’t want you to think it was true about Todd. I mean, the whole
gaydar
thing is kind of true.”
“
Really
?” I whisper, “You’re sure about Todd?”
“Positive.
He likes girls, for sure. It’s too bad, though. I totally agree with you, he’s
hot
!”
We both start to laugh and I realize that nothing
has really changed between us. He is the same exact Shane. I also realize we are still standing in the middle of the dance floor on automatic sway. “Let’s go sit down.” I pull him through the crowd by the hand. For some reason, I feel even closer to him than I did when we walked onto the dance floor. “Shane, since you said you can tell, who else at the school is… you know?”
Shane
looks at me and smiles. I’m so relieved he’s not offended by my question. “Um, let’s see. Bill Wilson.”
“Oh
, please, that’s a given. He came out two years ago. I mean, someone good; someone I’d have no idea.”
“OK.
Barry Richards,” Shane finally responds.
“
What
? The linebacker on the football team? No way!”
“Yup
, and I’m pretty sure he likes Brian,” Shane says, trying not to laugh.
“Brian would go insane if he knew.” Then I realize what
I’ve just said and quickly cover my mouth with my hands. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”
“It’s ok
ay. You’re totally right; he would. Why do you think I’m not ready to come out yet and why Barry hasn’t made any moves?”
“Who knew
? Barry Richards!” Talking about Brian and the football team makes me realize we haven’t seen Ryan or Todd in a while; or Sid, for that matter. “Where is Sid?” We both start scanning the room from our seats. “Oh, God. Do you think she saw us kiss?”
“No way.
If she did, she’d be over here in a hot second.” Shane puts his arm around me and smiles.
“True. Do you think anyone saw us kiss?”
“Doubtful. I’m sure we’ll find out if they did. Wait, I see her. Speaking of making out…” Shane says, pointing toward the dance floor.
“What am I looking at?”
My eyes fall upon Sid and Simon Clark in full make out mode not too far away from where we are sitting. “
Wow
! Sid is having a great first homecoming dance. Do you think we should go over there?” Just as the words leave my mouth, Todd walks up to them and he does not look happy.
“Sidney, would you like to come up for air?” he
says, tapping her on the shoulder.
Sid and Simon separate immediately.
Simon looks like he is about to pee his pants.
“I’m gla
d you are both having a good time, but—what’s your name?”
“S-s-s-s-
simon,” he responds, trying not to stutter.
“Simon
, if I see you touch my sister like that again, I’m going to have to put a stop to it, if you know what I mean,” Todd says, clearly angry and definitely invading Simon’s personal space. His face is so close to Simon’s that their noses are almost touching and it is clear Todd isn’t going to back down.
“S-s-s-s-s-sorry Todd, of course.
If it helps, I really like your sister.”
I quickly look at S
id and she seems really pleased by what Simon has just said, I think she might really like him, too. Tonight is completely full of surprises.
“Nope. It doesn’t.
” Todd says as he remains inches from Simon’s face for a few more seconds before he turns to leave. I look at Sid again and her joy turns to fury. She stands there with no rebuttal, though her face is full of shock as Todd walks away. My concern for Sid doesn’t erase the delight I feel when I notice that RTS is nowhere near Todd at the moment.
“Think we should go over there now?” I ask Shane. He
looks at me and shrugs.
“Maybe she needs alone time to console Simon?”
Shane clearly wants to avoid the wrath of Sid.
“Come on…” I grab him by the hand and drag him through the crowd to get to Sid and Simon.
Simon still looks like he is in shock, but Sid is definitely furious. “Don’t worry, Simon,” I try to console him. “Todd is a sweetheart; he’s not going to do anything.”
“Sweetheart? I cannot believe he just did that.
Who does he think he is? I can’t stand my brother. He is not the boss of me!” I guess Sid is no longer speechless.
“He
is just looking out for you.” I try to make her feel better, but she gives me the look of death. To be honest, this really makes me like Todd even more. However, I have to admit that if Ryan did that to me, I would have to kill him.
“Do you realize it’s
ten-twenty? We have ten minutes before our limo arrives.” Shane tries to lighten the mood. “Why don’t we give these kids some alone time.” He desperately wants to get out of here and he gives us the perfect out.
“Uh
, yeah, that’s a good idea. Sidney, let’s meet at the front door at ten-thirty. You know our limo is punctual.” I try to hint that she needs to wrap up whatever this is.
I don’t know what
happens on our walk back to the chairs lining the wall, but it is suddenly as if everyone gets a memo that the last ten minutes is the time to grab anyone standing next to you and start making out. It is literally the last chance make-out session. I’m almost scared to look for Todd because I’m sure RTS sees this as her opportunity to get Todd right where she wants him.
“We are in the middle of make-out hell
,
again
.” Shane smiles. “
Why
does this keep happening to us?”
“Do you see Todd?” I ask hesitantly.
Shane looks around and then darts his eyes back to me. “Nope, I don’t see him.”
Just by his reaction I
know he is trying to hide something. “Shane,” I say with a motherly tone, which translates into you-better-tell-me-what-you-know.
“Ok
ay, whatever you do, don’t look at the dance floor at nine o’clock.” Of course, this is right where I look and there is RTS with Todd.
My heart
sinks. It is what I have dreaded seeing all night. I’ve known it’s only a matter of time, but RTS is kissing Todd and he is kissing her back. Well, at least that’s what it looks like from here. Actually, it is more like RTS is mauling him, but either way, they are kissing. I feel a lump forming in my throat, I cannot cry here.
“Sorry
, Ash! I’m sure they just got caught up in the moment,” he says with a half-smile, trying to make me feel better. “Hold the phone. Check out who is right next to them.”
There
is Brian and Blythe, this time it looks like Brian is doing the mauling, but Blythe looks like she is enjoying it and reciprocating. Right there next to them, Gretchen and Ryan are doing the exact same thing. I think I’m finally getting used to seeing my brother make out with Gretchen. I mean, they do it all the time at school, right out in the open. At first, it really bothered me; who wants to see their brother kissing someone? That should be a private moment between them and not something they share with everyone in the entire school. The only thing worse would be seeing my parents making out, but I guess, this time I have to give Ryan and Gretchen a pass because it seems like Shane and I are the only two people in the entire room not making out. Except, maybe Sid and Simon; I think he is too scared to try anything other than slow dance.
"Guess we were just a little too early with our make-out session." I put my arm around him.
"It's pretty good people watching." Shane is enjoying every second of this show.
This last song
feels like it goes on for literally twenty-four hours, but I think that knowing about Shane makes it so much less awkward. It’s like we’re on the same team and there is zero tension.
"Guess Simon got a little braver." Shane
nudges me and gestures toward Sid and Simon on the dance floor. They are dancing pretty close and Sid is clearly disobeying Todd on purpose. She is the one initiating the kissing this time, almost like she is trying to prove a point. "Do you think she really likes him or do you think she's doing this because of Todd?"
"Not sure
, but it looks like Todd won't notice anyway." Todd and RTS are still only noticing each other, if you know what I mean, and I’m not at all happy about it. One of the teachers must have decided that it was time to break up the party because, just then, the overhead lights come on. Everyone immediately stops kissing and separates. I look down at my watch to see that it is exactly ten-thirty.
"We better go, if we leave fast
, maybe no one will notice we're being picked up by my dad. I'll go get Sid because it doesn’t look like she’s meeting us at the doors anytime soon."
"No
, let me," Shane says with a devious smile. Before I can say anything, he is pulling me through the crowded dance floor by the hand and right to Sid, who seems to have no concept of time. "Sidney, it's time to go. Oh, and we saw what you both were just doing and so did Todd," Shane directs the comment right at Simon with a completely straight face. I swear, I think Simon peed his pants this time for sure.
"Shut up
, Shane!" Sid says, not falling for it, but Shane has already accomplished exactly what he wanted, that was totally to mess with Simon. "Do you mind?" she asks, clearly angry and wanting some privacy.
We
take one step backward and stand there with our arms crossed while we wait.
"I had a great time
," she tells Simon as she shifts her weight from side to side and looks down at the ground.