"Hello?"
"Where's Leo?" the woman demanded, her tone sharp as a whip crack, leaving no room for discussion.
"Um, he's in the bathroom. Can I help you?"
"Who're you?" she snapped, glaring at the monitor.
She fumbled for what to say, confused as to how to describe what she was to Leo and Joe. However, the more she thought about it, the more she asked herself
why
. Who was this woman?
She chose to ignore the previous question and asked one of her own. "Can I leave Leo a message?"
"No!" the woman bellowed. "You can get him to open the fucking door."
Erin blinked, startled by the woman's rage. When Leo reached around her to press the buzzer she realized the woman had continued to scream into the monitor.
"Leo?"
He cleared his throat, inhaling deeply before he looked her in the eyes.
"Who is she?" Erin asked, her stomach sinking as a multitude of scenarios played out in her head.
"That… She… Carlie," he stumbled. "The woman outside is Carlie, Joe's mother."
"Oh!"
Leo's fists clenched, annoyance oozing from every pore. What kind of woman turned up at this time of night, knowing their son slept? Her own rage bloomed, coursed through her body. She placed a hand on his back in a show of support and to keep him from racing downstairs.
"Leo? Is she…?"
"I don't know." Leo gulped. "But if she thinks she's come to take my son, she's very, very wrong."
Chapter 5
Leo raged. What kind of woman played with lives the way Carlie did? Only now was he adjusting to life as a father. She didn't have a hope in hell if she sought to take that away. He would fight with everything he possessed.
"Should I leave?" Erin asked, chewing her lower lip nervously.
Leo shook his head, reaching out and cupping her face.
"No, but it would be best if you got dressed. I don't know what to expect from her. I'm going to apologize in advance if she says anything to upset you."
"I can take care of myself." She nuzzled his palm. "I just don't want my presence making matters worse."
"By her reaction just now, I doubt that could happen. Besides, I need you," he confessed, kissing her lips softly.
Erin exhaled softly as his lips met hers again. This kiss was quick, just enough to soothe him.
"I'd hate to leave. I want to support. I'll stay as long as it doesn't spiral out of control."
The loud footsteps up the stairs had Leo flinching and Erin gasping. Leo remained frozen, desperate to calm his erratic heartbeat. He shouldn't be inviting her inside; he should be consulting a lawyer about her desertion.
He watched Erin as she scuttled back to the bedroom, shooting him an anxious smile before she disappeared.
Taking care of Joe had been difficult, but he wouldn't allow her to come back into their son's life. Not until he'd gained some answers. His need to protect Joe from hurt ran so deep it rocked him to his very core. He would do anything to make sure his son stayed safe, even from his own mother.
The sharp knock on the door had him inhaling sharply and muttering to himself to calm down. It wouldn't help to be as aggressive as Carlie; it would only wake Joe. So as much as he wanted to shout at her, when he opened the door he simply ground out her name.
"Who's the tramp?" Carlie spat before she'd even stepped into the apartment.
Leo took a deep breath, trying not to let her anger him more than she already had.
"I don't think that matters, does it?" he stated calmly.
She scowled, her green eyes thinning into slits. Anger stained her cheeks pink, and one quick look at her clenched hands alerted him to just how angry she was.
"Does she know you don't
do
permanent? Told her one-nighters are the only way for you?"
"My relationship with Erin isn't up for discussion."
"
Relationship?
" Carlie gasped.
He wasn't sure what to say—not that it mattered. Carlie wasn't going to cool down, though he didn't want to make her any worse.
"Look, can we leave Erin out of this and get to why you've come?"
Leo slumped onto the couch, hoping she would take his lead and do the same. She didn't. Instead, she seemed to enjoy looking down at him.
"Our son?" He pointed out when she didn't respond.
Carlie rolled her eyes. "What? Didn't the player want to be a daddy? Bit late now, isn't it?"
He winced at her condescending tone. He also wouldn't mind shaking her for not even asking about Joe. She was glaring at him as if she expected an answer, chewing her gum as she cocked a hip impatiently.
"Aren't you going to ask about him?"
Carlie shrugged. "If there was anything wrong you would've called me."
"You didn't leave your number," Leo whispered, barely clinging to his calm.
"Oops. Sorry. I meant to write it on the letter." She finally sat down on the chair facing the couch. She crossed her legs, flashing him every inch of her pale, bruised thigh. "So he's okay then?"
Finally!
"He's no longer confused, if that's what you're asking. One minute he was with you, then the next with a strange man who had no idea what to do with a baby. Took us a little time, but thanks to Erin, Joe and I are just fine."
"Joe?" Carlie laughed. "His name isn't Joe. Did I forget to tell you that too?"
"Are you high?"
Carlie laughed again, only this time somewhat more hysterically. She pulled her purse from her shoulder, rifled through it, and handed him a crumpled piece of paper. As Leo took it he noticed her bruised arms; she was worrying him.
"What's this?" he snapped, his patience disappearing fast.
"It's the baby's birth certificate. His name's Leo too."
Carlie beamed as though pleased with herself. Leo had heard enough; he needed to know why she was here. And where the hell was Erin?
"What do you want?" He asked abruptly.
She blinked, evidently shocked by the harshness of his words. She composed herself quickly.
"I wanted to say goodbye to Leo. I'm going on the road with Bert's band."
"Wait!" He squeezed the bridge of his nose. "You really need to start at the beginning. Like when I opened my store to find a baby on the doorstep! And while you're explaining, you may as well tell me why you never told me you were pregnant."
Joe whined, swiftly breaking out into a full on wail, but as Leo moved to standing, Erin tiptoed out of his room and into Joe's.
"I'll see to him," Erin muttered, disappearing quickly.
Carlie carried on their conversation, apparently oblivious to her child's distress.
"We had sex. I'm sure you remember that because, damn, it was hot! I wanted more, but you kicked me out. I got pregnant. You told me all along you only did one-nighters, and to be honest, by the time I figured I was pregnant it was too late to do anything about it. After I had him—which hurt like a bitch by the way—he wouldn't stop crying. I thought he'd be better with you."
"Do you have any idea how callous you sound?"
"What? All I did was let his father look after him."
Leo took a deep breath. She simply didn't understand, or rather she was too intoxicated to try. Over the last few weeks he had tried to imagine what this moment would be like. This was not what he'd thought.
"So now you've come to say goodbye to him? Don't you care about him at all? Don't you want to know how he's been? How I've managed with a son I never knew I had? I had nothing, Carlie! No diapers, no clothes, no milk."
"You found a way to get that stuff though, didn't you? And now it seems like you have someone who is more than just one night for you. Maybe she can be his mommy?"
"That's heartless. You're his mom."
Carlie shook her head so hard strands of her hair whipped at her cheeks. Her eyes glittered with emotion as she spoke. "I don't want to be. Never did. Bert doesn't want him either, and I can't very well take a baby on a tour bus, right?"
Erin stepped from Joe's bedroom, cradling the baby to her chest. She'd changed into one of Leo's T-shirts and a pair of loose jeans. She eyed them with caution, clearly bracing herself for Carlie's wrath.
Carlie barely glanced at her son, staring instead at Leo.
"I'd suck as a parent and you know it."
"No, no I don't," Leo ground out, his whole body shaking. "You're not even
trying!
You can't just kiss him and then leave. You can't leave me alone to do this, Carlie."
"I can. It's what's best for him. You seem to be doing well without me, and you have your little helper there." She jutted her chin over toward Erin.
Leo could see the hostility in her posture. He chose to ignore it for now, as she didn't appear aggressive toward Erin. He could only hope that was because she didn't want to hurt her son. He wished there was some small part of her who did care for the child she'd helped produce.
Leo watched Erin's struggle. She didn't know whether to take Joe to Carlie or not. She'd hidden out in his bedroom, obviously wanting them to talk this through without her hanging around. Nevertheless when voices had been raised, and Joe had begun to cry, she had reappeared. Joe had been fussing, probably needing comfort from all of the loud noises, because as soon as she'd cuddled him he whimpered but went back to sleep.
She gazed at Leo, looking for some direction as she moved closer. He held his arms out for the baby, shooting her a tight smile. She left the introductions to Leo, but he noted Carlie didn't say hello. She didn't even nod in Erin's direction.
"I'll repeat," Leo said, sounding calmer now he held his son. "You cannot leave me to do this alone."
"Do you want me to stay then? I'd fuck up our son completely. Look at me, Leo! Look. I'm a mess."
He shook his head. "So you're doing this to save your son? I don't believe you. You're going to have some fun and be with…
Bert
."
Erin stroked his arm as he waited for her to answer.
"Okay, fine. I'm a selfish bitch. I'm doing this because I want to."
"And are you intending to come back? Because seriously, Carlie, you can't appear whenever you want and disappear whenever you get bored. I should be screaming at you now. I mean, I should be so angry for what you've done, but I'm not. Do you know why?"
The woman shrugged again, not bothering to stifle her eye roll. Leo's tensed, and battled to keep his upset hidden.
"I have Joe. That's why. I hate what you
did
, hate what you're
doing,
but I have him. This little boy has given me more than I ever thought I wanted. So you know what? You go. Go and do whatever you want, but just remember one thing—each day you're away from our son, you're missing out. And the longer you're gone, the harder it will be for you to look your son in the eyes. I don't care anymore, Carlie. Do whatever you please. I'm here for our son, not you."
Her eyes went wide in shock, her reaction showing him she'd expected an argument at the very least. Leo just couldn't bring himself to care. His son had become the most important aspect in all of this, and if his mother insisted on discarding him, then he would make sure he gave Joe twice as much love.
"So if you really only came to say your goodbyes, then say them and leave me alone to get on with raising a family."
Erin leaned over and kissed his cheek.
Leo's heart was breaking for his son, though he resolved to be strong. Parenthood hadn't been something he'd planned, or particularly wanted at this time in his life, but he wasn't going to turn his back on his little boy now. This last month with Joe had taught him so much, one of those being love found you, even when you weren't looking.
It had found him.
"Can I ask you for one thing, Carlie?"
She popped a bubble with her gum, nodding.
"I want your number, and I ask you never change it without telling me. I need to be able to contact you if Joe is sick. What you do with that information is your choice at the time. I just want to know that I'm doing what I can to be a good parent."
"Is that supposed to mean I'm not?" she snapped.
"Take that any way you want. I no longer care."
She winced; he saw it. Leaving Joe here really was her choice. He could make her be a parent, but it wouldn't help Joe. He just had to concentrate on his own actions. That way, in years to come he could look into his son's face and know he did the right thing.
"Just count yourself lucky I even let you through the door after where you left Joe," he continued coolly. "I'm treating you this way because we share a child. That's the only reason."
"Y-you don't understand," she stammered, standing up and reaching for a cigarette from her purse.
"I don't? Really? I'm not sure where you get that from.
I'm
the one who had no idea I was a father until I found him on the doorstep.
I'm
the one who had to spend night after night consoling him because he was so confused and all he wanted was his mommy.
I'm
the one who he'll come to when he falls, and
I'm
the one who will be crying when he leaves to make a life of his own. I'm pretty sure you won't, so don't tell me I don't understand. I think it's you who doesn't."
"I'm not staying here to be insulted. I came to see my son."
"And yet you haven't looked at him once since he's been in the room," Leo interjected.
"I'm leaving."
She walked over to the front door then pulled a pen off the white board behind the door and scrawling her number across it. Leo snorted, making Joe jump, when she drew a little heart underneath.
"Bye."
"Aren't you going to hold him? Kiss him?"
He expected her to turn around; instead Carlie opened the door, never looking back. Leo wanted to cry. This woman was really going to walk away from her child without so much as a kiss. He ached with sympathy, every bone in his body seeking comfort. Joe was a baby; he couldn't comprehend what was happening, but Leo felt every footstep like a knife to his chest.
She slammed the door behind her, the sound echoing off the walls.
"Erin!" he cried out, needing her comfort more than ever.
His chest tightened, his stomach churned, and his strength bottomed out when he heard the door downstairs close. Carlie was gone.
* * * *
Erin took hold of Joe, taking him back to his room. She could see how difficult it had been for Leo to keep his aggression in check, but he'd done it, and he'd done it for his son. No matter how many times she tried to tell herself it was too soon, or that she couldn't possibly feel this way, the truth wasn't something she wanted to deny any longer.
She loved this man.
Erin was desperate to tell him but now really wasn't the time. He needed her support tonight.
She kissed Joe's forehead, sorrow almost choking her as she placed him gently in his crib. Tears were falling down her face when she walked back toward Leo. He was cuddled up on the couch, looking like a lost child. All she could do was soothe him, show him she would still be here in the morning.
"Oh, Leo," she whispered, laying down beside him and combing her fingers through his hair. "We'll be okay. We can do this, baby."
"We?"
Erin nodded, placing a small kiss on his lips.
"We. Leo, I know it's soon, and maybe you don't want to hear it, but I have to say it. I need to get it out… I love you."
Leo shot her a watery smile. "Really?"
She nodded again. Her tears plopped onto his cheek, mixing with his. "Really."