Authors: NM Facile
when I told her how I felt. I wanted to read for myself just what was going through her mind. I wanted her honest reaction.
My time would come. I was sure of it. I would wait patiently. One of these days I would get my chance to tel her. Until then, I would wait and watch,
and if she needed me I would be there in a heartbeat.
“Why won’t you let me see what I’m wearing?” I whined at Kai.
She and Kerri were at my place, having a traditional girls getting ready together pre-party. Kai insisted on the pre-party, since I wasn’t actual y
going with them to Jason’s party. Instead, I was going out with Beau again. We had spent almost the entire past couple weeks together. He had
even stayed over for the first time, and then stayed again the next night. For the most part, it had been good. He didn’t ever once bring Quinn up. I
started to think he was just trying to intimidate me the night he made the threat against Quinn. I doubted he would real y make a scene if the three of
us were ever in a room together. At least I hoped that would be the case.
Not that there was a chance Quinn was going to look at me ever again anyway. I had just left him like he left me. I walked away due to a bad
decision without a real explanation. I doubted I would even be able to talk to him if I got the chance. I didn’t think I could look him in the eyes. I didn’t
want to see how he would be looking back at me. He had cal ed and texted. The cal s were harder than the texts to avoid. I wanted to hear his voice
and know how he sounded. If he was pissed, it would be easier to avoid him. But if he was hurt, how could I keep myself from running to him? I
deleted them unheard. The texts I answered because I wanted him to know he needed to stop. I wasn’t ready for whatever he had to say to me.
After the last couple weeks, I had started to have a good idea of what I would need to say to him.
“I don’t have it yet. Sloane had to go pick it up. You’l love it. I promise.” Kai had the ‘
you’ll wear it because I say you will, bitch’
glint in her eye
even though she had the smile of an angel on her face. And most of the time she would be absolutely right. I would wear it if she told me to,
especial y if she and Kerri were going to be with me. I always felt that when I was with the two of them, they both way outshone me. No one would
look twice at me in the tight or barely there clothes Kai would convince me to wear as long as she and Kerri were dressed similarly. To be fair to
Kai, the clothes she picked out for me were in decent taste. They didn’t scream “skank.”
But I wasn’t going to be with them. I didn’t know what the exact plan was with Beau yet. When he’d left that morning, he wasn’t sure what time he
would be back. He said we’d figure it out when he got here. He said he just wanted to be with me. He real y had been sweet lately. He was starting
to open up to me, too. He said he felt like I was the first person he could real y talk to. He told me about how hard it had been to start over at so
many different schools. One night, he got al quiet and talked about how he had always missed his dad even though he real y didn’t know him.
My heart wrenched that night. We had been kissing on the couch when my phone rang. It was my dad, just checking in on me. We talked a bit, just
sharing some of the events of the past few days. We talked briefly about my upcoming trip home for Thanksgiving. We said our ‘love yous’ and
hung up. I looked over at Beau often during the cal . He just watched me with a curious look, tilting his head from one side to the other as he visibly
thought through things. I set the phone down on the table in front of me. I pul ed my legs up under me as I sat in the corner of my worn couch. He
moved closer to me and started asking questions about my dad.
He asked what growing up with a cop as a father was like. I told him that I guessed it was like any other father-daughter relationship would be
like. Don’t ask, don’t tel , and don’t ever get caught. Dad and I got along wel , as long as I didn’t cause any trouble, which I never would have
dreamed of doing in the first place. He asked about the type of hours my father worked and how much longer he planned to work. I asked him why
he was suddenly so interested in my dad. He replied that he was always fascinated with what it would have been like to have a dad around. He laid
his head in my lap and closed his eyes as he told me about how he would pretend that his mom’s various boyfriends were his dad. How he hated it
when they would leave.
I brushed his hair off his head as he bemoaned a childhood bereft of a father. I waited for his blue eyes to open. I wanted him to see that he could
trust me with his feelings. When he final y did open them, he looked so empty for a couple heartbeats that my heart just broke for him. He blinked,
and then asked me a few more questions about my dad. I asked him again about coming home for Thanksgiving with me. He said he thought it
might be a good idea.
That night I felt so close to him. I knew what it was like to only have one parent. Just like him I had pretended that Marie was my mom too. It made
me feel sick to long for her and ultimately Quinn as I held and comforted Beau.
I looked back at Kerri and said, “Why does she have hers?” Kerri was the perfect Alice in Wonderland. Her dark hair was covered with a golden
wig held back by a blue band and fel softly down her back. She was wearing a short pale blue silk dress with a white apron on the front. I had
expected something straight out of an adult costume shop, but hers wasn’t bad. It was on the short side of course but covered way more than I had
thought it would. Hopeful y that was a good sign for me. She was wearing striped blue and white thigh high stockings and heels that made my feet
hurt just looking at them.
“Kerri picked hers up yesterday. Yours wasn’t ready yet,” she said nonchalantly with a shrug, as she walked past me to the bathroom.
I looked over at Kerri, but she was just looking at Kai walk away from us. When she didn’t look back at me I fol owed Kai down the hal .
Kerri stopped in the kitchen. She had brought a bottle of pre-mixed lemon drop martinis. She met up with us with three cups in hand. In the
bathroom, Kai rummaged through my stuff.
“You must have a clear hair band here somewhere. Aha! I knew you would. Now let’s go out to the table and we can get started on your hair.” I
groaned. If we were going to the chairs, it meant it was going to take a long time. I took a big drink for my patience and my sanity and sat down to
let the Jack Bauer of makeovers get to work.
“So Sylvia, how are things going?” Kai prodded as she brushed through my hair while spraying it with water. “We’ve barely seen you lately. And
did Beau stay here the last couple nights?”
Of course she would know that. “Yes, so...” I dreaded her asking about sleeping with him. I didn’t want to talk about the fact that I hadn’t wanted to
sleep with him since... wel , since Quinn. And that I had been lying to him to hold him off. At first I told him I was afraid I was getting a urinary tract
infection, and the next day said that I went to the doctor and he confirmed it. Then I told him I got a yeast infection from the antibiotic. Thankful y, I got
my period then and it gave me some more time to figure things out.
“Just wondered how that was,” she answered vaguely.
“About like you’d expect it would be with a penis-wrinkle,” Kerri added dryly.
I just glared at her. I know she didn’t get on with him at first, but she could have given it a second chance. Kai, of course, giggled and asked what
that was.
“A man is a penis-wrinkle when cal ing him a dickhead would be a compliment.” Kai giggled harder, and even I let out a bit of a smile. It was a
pretty good term, even if I didn’t agree with her.
“Kerri, real y he’s not that bad.” I knew it would be useless to defend him to her. She had her mind made up and Kerri was nothing if not stubborn.
“Sure, he keeps you locked up in here when he’s here. But do you real y know what he’s doing when he says he’s ‘on a job’?” she even used air
quotes. “Maybe he’s married or has another girlfriend.”
“Kerri, you said you wouldn’t do this,” Kai hissed at her.
I glared over at Kerri. She just looked back at me, her violet eyes issuing a chal enge. I wasn’t going to let her provoke me. I wanted to enjoy this
time with them and not argue about stuff she didn’t understand. “I know because I’ve gone out with him a few times and met some of his friends. I
even met his boss.”
“Oh, what were they like?” Thankful y Kai jumped on that to change the conversation. I was sure Kerri would find a way to bring it up again. Her
expression told me this wasn’t over.
I described Beau’s friends to her and how I met them.
After the last time Quinn showed up unannounced, I had been worried about him coming over to talk and Beau being there. So every time Beau
was over I suggested we go out. At first Beau was against it. He said he was tired or he just wanted to spend some time with me. I wouldn’t admit it
to Kerri but after a few days I had started wondering the same thing. When I asked him straight out if he had someone else he was hiding from me,
he laughed louder than I had ever heard him.
“Sylvia, why would I want to deal with two of you when you give me enough trouble?” I was relieved and hurt at the same time. Was I trouble? I was
going to ask him, but he surprised me by offering to take me to his boss’s upcoming birthday party. He had planned to just skip it, because he
didn’t think I would want to go. I assured him I did. So when Tuesday night rol ed around, I reminded him and we took off for the same little dive bar
he had taken me to on our first date. Now that it was colder, he took his truck instead of his motorcycle. He had a nice extended-cab pickup. He
said he needed the extra room when he came back with his cargo, and then he laughed again.
I told Kai about how he’d stayed with me al night, even when some drop-dead gorgeous woman slinked up to him and attempted to flirt with him.
It was pretty clear from the start that they knew each other wel . I wondered how long it would take him to look over at me and realize that I couldn’t
compare to her. I was amazed when he pushed her hands off his chest and reached over to me. He pul ed me in front of him and introduced me to
the woman. It was clear that he was tel ing her I was with him and he wasn’t interested.
I didn’t tel Kai how later she stopped me in the bathroom and told me to watch out. She said she knew Beau wel , and he wasn’t someone who
stuck around long or got involved with anyone he wasn’t getting something from in return. She sneered at me as she examined me head to toe, and
then turned to the mirror as if I wasn’t worth her scrutiny. Looking at me through the mirror she said she wondered what that could be since I wasn’t
his normal type. I walked out and chalked it up to a jealous ex and tried to not let her words hurt me.
That wasn’t the only thing I left out about that night. I didn’t tel her about the fight he got into. He and his buddies had played pool most of the night.
I was getting tired and had class in the morning, so I asked Beau if we could leave soon. He told me after the game we would go. I went to stand
over by the wal and chat with his boss Curtis. He was a cross between the character of a bounty hunter and a pimp. Curtis was a huge African
American with a penchant for heavy gold chains. I liked him though. He spoke quietly and was fairly easy going. As I walked over to stand by him a
guy playing on the neighboring table cal ed out, “I’l take ya home, baby.” I ignored him but Beau sent him a frightening look.
The guy continued to make crude comments to those around him. Beau final y threw his stick down and stalked over to him. He got right in the
guy’s face. “What are you saying about my girl?”
The guy raised his hands in a peace gesture. “Whoa, man calm down. I’m just fuckin’ with ya.”
Beau held his gaze a little longer, and then stepped back. I’d thought for sure there was going to be trouble, and let out a breath of relief as Beau
turned to come back to me. He took one step towards me as the guy said, “I’d rather be fuckin’ her.” Beau spun so fast I didn’t see him do it. My
eyes flashed to the guy now leaning back over the pool table with blood dripping out of his nose. Beau had a fist ful of the guy’s shirt, and his other
hand raised as he held him against the pool table. I couldn’t hear what he said to the guy, but I did hear the guy spit back a “fuck you”.
That set Beau off. He pul ed the guy up and took another swing at him. I stepped forward, not knowing what to do. Curtis put his arm out to stop
me. I glanced up at him and he whispered down to me that Beau would be fine and he could take care of it. I wasn’t worried about that. I just didn’t
want anyone hurt. I would have just ignored the guy. I kept my eyes on Curtis. I couldn’t stomach seeing what Beau was doing to the guy. I never
liked violence, and blood made me nauseous.
I looked back over when Curtis moved his arm. Beau was being pul ed back by a couple of his buddies. The other guy was a bloody mess on the
floor. I had to turn away. I couldn’t handle the sight of the blood dripping from his nose and mouth. My stomach was rol ing. I was afraid I was going
to be sick al over. Curtis lead me towards the back door, suggesting that I get some air. Beau and his friends fol owed. They made comments to
him congratulating him on the beat down. I shuddered inside, and just wanted to get out of there. He leered at me and until that moment, I had never